“Why do you treat me like this? I got feelings for you. Real feelings, Envy,” Leonard confessed. He sounded like he was pleading, and it caused Envy to shut down her heart even more.
“Look, I’ve told you time and time again that I’m not the serious kind. I don’t believe in falling in love, and I don’t want a commitment. You don’t have to take care of me, and you don’t have to wine and dine me. All I want is just what I got. I’m satisfied, and I know you’re definitely satisfied,” she said with the voice of a kitten and the stance of a lion.
He stepped forward, reaching out toward Envy just as she moved away. “Come on, it’s late and way past my curfew for visitors,” she said sarcastically. “You’ve got to go.”
He stiffened like she had prodded him with a branding poker. The executive put on his designer clothes, stepped into his soft leather shoes, and slowly, like a whipped puppy, followed Envy to the door with Fischer wagging his tail beside Envy.
“I don’t understand you,” said Leonard angrily. “One minute you’re ringing my number off the hook. Then you want to use me to satisfy your sexual needs. There are other times you’ve called and I’ve listened to you, Envy. Listened to you like a true friend. You mean a lot to me, girl. I only hope you allow the ice around your heart to melt before it’s too late.
Without emotion, she replied, “Thanks.” Envy opened the front door. “Drive safely.” She said, and quickly closed and locked the door behind him. While she showered, Fischer laid on the bathroom floor. Following her routine, she removed the soiled sheets and replaced them with fresh ones. Fischer jumped on the bed and cuddled at the foot of the bed while Envy pulled up the covers to her neck, said her prayers while she lay in the bed and then swiftly drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Twelve
Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. Khalil Gibran
“Come to the altar. All you who are burdened and heavy laden. If you want to come and intercede on behalf of someone else, please come. God wants you to come.” The lay pastor of the nine o’clock a.m. service beckoned. Most of the congregation followed his prompting and gathered around the front of the pulpit while the pastor prayed.
Like she’d done once before, Kacie looked around with her head bowed, searching for Deacon. He really has it coming. Where is he?
“Hug somebody while you return to your seats,” the pastor ordered. Kacie walked past everyone, ignoring the pastor’s instructions. The kids were in the new children’s church and nursery. She was glad they had finally opened a nursery during this service. Bypassing her seat, Kacie went out the side door leading out to the hall where the restrooms and fellowship hall were. She walked around the circumference of the church, peeping in as many doors that she could, all except the ones marked Private and Pastor’s Office. Her anger rose, and she went back inside and reclaimed her seat next to Envy.
“Where were you?” Envy whispered.
Kacie waved her hand and didn’t say a word. The sermon went on in slow motion. She was anxious to leave when the pastor ended his message and extended an invitation for people to join church. After two members came forward, the New Members Committee took them to the Counseling Room to talk to them. Kacie whispered to Envy that she was leaving. She went to children’s church to gather four of the kids, but before she could make it to the nursery for her other two children, the words from the intercom stopped her dead in her tracks.
“For those of you who have to leave, we understand. But today is a special day because we are installing three new trustees and two deacons.”
Kacie’s faced glowered. She gave the talking kids a do not say another word stare, and then she listened all while walking back toward the side door leading to the sanctuary. Her seat next to Envy was vacant along with enough room for the kids since several people had departed.
“I thought you were gone.”
“I thought I was too. I came back when I heard them say they were inducting trustees and deacons today. Deacon didn’t tell me anything about it. I bet that’s why I haven’t seen him in service. He’s probably going to be inducted today. He said the pastor had a meeting with him again yesterday.” She tried to whisper as softly as she could. “He must’ve wanted to surprise me. Ooh, I love that man.” Kacie smiled and kissed one of the kids on top of the head.
Envy’s mouth turned upward like she was equally happy for Kacie. The pastor and deacon staff made their usual round of speeches as they prepared to ordain trustees and deacons at Holy Rock. Kacie’s smile was equally as broad when five men, including Deacon, paraded into the sanctuary and down to the front of the church. They stood firmly and quietly next to each other, facing Pastor Betts and his board of trustees and deacons. The ceremony was spiritually inspiring to Kacie. So much so that glitters of tears fell down her face.
For the next hour, each man was asked a series of questions which they answered individually before the congregation and pastoral and deacon staff. When each man completed his series of answers to the questions, the head of the deacon staff gave a charge to the candidate and a charge to the church. One of the associate ministers preached a short message followed by a prayer of ordination.
After the sermon and prayer, each newly ordained deacon and trustee was called up, and along with his wife and family, they were presented with a Bible and Certificate of Ordination. The inducted man’s family pledged to support, uplift, and pray for the man’s new position of leadership in the church. The third man being inducted was not married and had no children. The pastor asked the congregation to pledge to be the man’s support. Kacie seemed to glow at the thought that soon she would be the wife standing next to Deacon to pledge her support for him, along with their child like the other two wives and children. Deacon was the last to be called for induction.
“Trustee Deacon Riggs,” the pastor called.
Until she was Mrs. Riggs, Deacon would have to stand in front of everyone alone, but in her heart and spirit, Kacie pledged to be a faithful, loving, and supporting wife to him.
The choir began to sing the gospel hymn, “We All Can Do Good.” Layla could barely maintain her stance at the shock of seeing the look on Kacie’s emaciated face. Kacie’s eyes filled with liquid as the congregation walked around and extended congratulations after the benediction. The woman who stood proudly next to Deacon had her arm entwined in his. With apparent ease, she shook each person’s hand that passed by her and thanked them for their congratulatory remarks toward Deacon, her husband.
Envy approached Deacon and said in a rough tone, “Congratulations - Trustee Riggs.”
With relative ease, Deacon replied, “Thank you, Sister Wilson.”
“Hello, I’m sorry, how are you?” Envy addressed the woman and coldly extended her hand toward her heavily bejeweled hand. “I’m Sister Envy Wilson.”
“I’m Martha Riggs,” the lady answered confidently.
Deacon’s face reddened. “Sister Wilson, this is my wife.” He embraced his wife tightly around her waist. His introduction of his wife sounded like he intentionally said it loud enough for Kacie to hear him as she stood in line directly behind Envy, trembling like she was standing stark naked in a snowstorm.
Kacie managed to give Deacon a blazing stare while tears took up residence in the edges of her eyes. “Congratulations, Trustee Riggs.” Her bitter voice all but died away. His reply sounded like an echo from afar. Kacie felt the tug of a person’s hand on her wrist before Kacie had time to say anything to Deacon’s wife. It was Envy’s firm grip pulling her right past Deacon’s wife before the chance of trouble could break out.
Layla met Envy and Kacie at the other side of the church exit.
Kacie, still in disbelief, caved in to the hurt that penetrated her heart. Her knees already naturally buckled, but with Layla and Envy planted on each side of her, it halted her total collapse.
“Oh, my God. I can’t believe this. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.” She cried into her hands. Several church attendees
watched closely as did Kacie’s older children who had no idea why their mother was in tears.
“Come on, Kacie. Let’s get you out of here. I’ll go get Kali and Keshena from the nursery.” Layla looked back over her shoulder as she passed by the open sanctuary. She caught a clear glimpse of Deacon. Like a true professional actor, she saw the shimmer of his smile and the manner in which he embraced Mrs. Riggs. May God have mercy on your rotten soul, Deacon. Layla turned back around and concentrated on her destination.
“Kacie, there’s no way you can drive. I’ll take you home and get a friend to come back and get your car. Or I can use my roadside assistance service to have it towed to your house.”
Bawling, with dribbles of snot forming under her nose, Kacie grabbed the tissue that Envy hurriedly pulled from her purse just in time. “I can drive myself. I don’t need your help. Honestly, I don’t.”
“No, listen, Kacie. Envy’s right. You’re in no condition to drive home. You’re way too distraught,” Layla told her.
“No,” Kacie insisted. “I can drive. Come on, children.” Kacie reached her hands out toward them.
Envy looked at Layla and Layla returned the gaze. “I’ll follow you home then,” Envy demanded.
“And I’ll ride with Kacie,” Layla remarked. “That way, I can make sure she’s going to be okay.”
“All right. But let the kids ride with me. Let me get their car seats.” Envy walked toward Kacie. “Kacie, the children are riding with me. Kenneth and Kassandra, help me get the car seats, please,” Envy asked.”
Kenneth and Kassandra obeyed, and once the car seats were in place in Envy’s car, they all climbed inside.
Kacie got to her car, and with Layla rushing behind her, she jumped inside and sat still for several seconds. With streams of tears falling, the heavy sobs poured like a gushing waterfall.
Layla reached over and placed her arm around Kacie’s shoulders and cried with her. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. God knows I am.”
“I don’t understand it. I had no idea that Deacon was married. How…how could he do this after all these months? How could he lead a double life?”
“I don’t know. I wish I had the answer, but I don’t. All I know is that you have to get yourself together. You have six children who need you.”
Kacie looked over at Layla. After a long pause, she swallowed hard. “He’s going to pay. He’s going to pay dearly,” she said in a defiant voice before she started the car and pulled out of the parking space.
The women made it safely to Kacie’s. Envy had stopped at McDonald’s to get all of the children Happy Meals so Kacie wouldn’t have to worry about preparing food for them. The children, excited that they had Happy Meals, happily climbed out of Envy’s car one by one. One of the older kids picked up Keshena and carried her up to the porch where they waited for their mother to unlock the door. Kacie’s eyes were almost swollen shut by this time. Weak. Broken. Stunned. How could pain hurt so bad? How could love that was right turn out to be wrong?
Once inside the house, Layla and Envy helped to get the children settled at the kitchen table, then refocused their attention on Kacie.
“Did you have any idea about this? Any idea at all?” asked Envy like she believed Kacie knew all along about Deacon having a wife.
Kacie tossed her head and stiffened defiantly when she heard Envy’s question. Her unsteady legs forced her to hold on to the nearby recliner. “How dare you ask me that? Do you think I would have allowed myself to fall for somebody else’s husband?”At that moment, she felt a mild contempt for her friend. Envy wasn’t one that could call the kettle black. “I’m not you, Envy. I don’t make a habit of dating just anybody’s man, or should I rephrase that and say any man?” She bit back sharply.
Envy placed both hands on her curvaceous hips. “Look, don’t get bent out of shape with me. I’m not Deacon and I sure as heck am not his wife. I was just asking.”
“Let’s not argue. We don’t want the kids to hear any of this,” Layla whispered. “I’m just shocked at the nerve of that guy. But I must say, I have to give him his props.”
“Props? What does that mean?” Kacie asked bitterly.
“He managed to fool a whole lot of people,” explained Layla. “Think about it. I’ve never heard anyone at church mention him having a wife. And I mean never. Have you, Envy?” Envy shook her head. “What about you, Kacie?” Kacie tearfully shook her head, no. “That’s what I’m talking about. People at church can be some of the worst gossipers, but I’ve never heard anything about the oh so perfect, Trustee Deacon Riggs.” Layla laughed sarcastically. “What a name to go with such a slime ball.”
The three of them managed to laugh slightly before Kacie returned to a serious look. Her pulse beat wildly. Confused. Baffled. Bewildered. Her emotions spun out of control. “I’m pregnant with Deacon’s child.” It was as though she suddenly remembered her condition.
“What are you going to do about it? He doesn’t know, does he?” asked Layla.
“No. I never had a chance to tell him. I planned on telling him last night, but he didn’t call me back.”
“It explains why he never took you to his place,” commented Envy.
Kacie spoke up almost like she was defending him. “But he said that was because he didn’t want me to be away from the kids, and he was usually in and out of town, or getting home late at night.”
“Sure, and you fell for that line. But now it all makes sense. As people say, the devil is a liar. Sounds like Trustee Deacon just might have the ole sly devil beat,” Envy said with a smirk on her face. She removed her glasses and started nibbling on the end of the frame.
“Are you still planning on telling him that you’re pregnant now that you know he’s married?” Layla looked confused.
“No, the question is, are you still going to have the baby? How far along are you?” inquired Envy while she twisted her glasses around in her hand.
“I’m now four months pregnant, for your information. And what kind of question is that? I don’t believe in abortion. I could never imagine killing my own child.”
“Yeah, but you sure don’t have a problem lying down with one dog after another and popping babies out like a rabbit making machine,” snapped Envy. “You’re doing nothing but talking and living a double standard. You’re fooling no one but yourself, because you’re sure not fooling God. You better check your salvation, baby, because you’re living an outright lie.”
“A lie?” Kacie yelled. “I am not.”
“In a way you are,” Layla said in her soft, kitten like voice. “I don’t condone abortion either, but God says that adultery and fornication are wrong too. Maybe Envy didn’t exactly say it in a loving way, but nevertheless, what she said is true, Kacie.”
“Whatever,” Kacie stormed back. “Two wrongs don’t make a right, and I am not aborting my baby. And for your information, Miss Church Lady,” Kacie focused her gaze on Layla, “God says gluttony is a sin too, but I see you’re still feeding your fat...oops, I mean your face,” she quipped. “The only reason you’re losing a little weight is because you got half your belly yanked out because of that no good Mike,” Kacie said with hatred.
Envy played advocate and stopped the heated exchange because things had gotten way out of hand. “Now you know you were wrong for that, Kacie.”
Surprised at Kacie’s callous comments, Layla bowed her head in silence like a scared sacred calf. “Do whatever you want to do. It’s your life.”
“Kacie, sleep on it,” Envy advised her. “It’s been a wild and crazy Sunday. When he calls, you don’t have to talk to him until you’re ready, you know?”
“Do you honestly think he’s going to call after this?” asked Kacie. “If he does, he’s going to get cussed out, and I mean it. Y’all talking about me living a double life, well I’m telling you already that my religion is out the door tonight. That dog is going to bark like mad when I finish destroying him.”
Come on, Layla,” urge
d Envy. “Let’s go. Don’t do anything stupid, Kacie,” Envy told her while Layla walked toward the door in hurtful silence.
Kacie stood up. Her legs quivered uncontrollably; something that was often intensified when she was nervous. She supported her shaky legs by holding on to the wall, the chair, and finally the front door. “Thanks, y’all. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Sure,” Layla said and walked past Envy and out the open door.
“Layla,” Kacie said in a pleading tone, “I’m sorry about what I said. I never meant to hurt you.” Kacie’s eyes shined with the sparkle of fresh tears, as did Layla’s.
“I know,” Layla cried. “I know.”
Kacie was in her room crying a river of tears when the phone rang. She saw Deacon’s name pop up and refused to answer his call. She didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. He had been lying to her all of this time, and nothing could make up for that. Now, here she was, pregnant with his child. What was she going to do? The phone stopped ringing for only a few seconds before it started ringing again. Once again, Kacie refused to answer. She undressed and put on a pair of PJs and curled up in her bed. She turned off her phone and called out the names of her kids, instructed them to come and get in the bed with her. It was something she did from time to time; especially when she felt unloved, alone, and forsaken. No matter what went wrong in her life, she could rely on her children to be there for her. They loved her despite the mistakes she made, no matter how angry she got, or how many men she slept with. They loved her because she was their mother. They depended on her and no one else.
×
“Do you believe she’s going to tell Deacon about the baby?” Layla asked on their drive home.
“Layla, you and I both know that it’s hard to tell what Kacie is going to do. Who would have thought she would get pregnant again? And why, for God’s sake, won’t she get her tubes burnt, tied up, twisted in knots…whatever it takes. Kacie is one that I have never been able to figure out. I’m not going to try any more either.” Envy sighed and kept driving. A look of downright revulsion formed on her face.
Beautiful Ugly Page 13
