He scrubs a hand down his face. “I did, but that’s not all I’m referring to. I killed the president of the Wild Men MC. Did you know that? You want to be with someone like that? I have blood on my hands, Anna, and it never goes away.”
I knew he killed someone. I also knew there had to be more to the story. Maybe it was a club war? Turf war? Something, I don’t know what. I knew Arrow was loyal to his club. I couldn’t hold it against him. Rake was the same.
“Arrow—”
“It’s not just that. I don’t have anything to give a good woman like you, Anna. And I don’t like feeling guilty because I want to fuck someone, seeing those wide green eyes staring up at me with hurt in them.”
I suddenly feel a mixture of anger and embarrassment. I can’t believe he called me out on that—and to think I thought I was doing well schooling my expressions. “I didn’t ask you for anything, Arrow.”
He dips his head. “You didn’t have to. You say it all in those eyes.”
“What if I just wanted sex?” I whisper, my cheeks flushing.
“You want your brother to kill me?” he says in a low, husky tone. “No, you know what? You would be worth that. But you still deserve better, Anna, and I’m going to try and do the right thing here.”
Ahhh, yes. My brother. I forgot about that.
“I won’t see you hurt because of me. Violence and pain follow me. I don’t want them to touch you, do you understand?”
“Fine,” I say after a few seconds. “This conversation never happened. Don’t let my wide green eyes stop you from whatever you want to do next time, okay?”
I walk away from him then, but before he starts his engine I’m almost sure I hear him say, “Trust me, I’m trying.”
* * *
By November—two months later—I’d settled into a routine in my doctoral program and had done my best to put Arrow out of my mind. After spending a long day doing observations at the zoo, I take a hot shower and put on my pajamas. I told my brother I would cook him dinner tonight, the one meal our mother used to make us whenever she was sober, which wasn’t very often. I’m glad to be able to spend some quality time with my big brother. He’s slowly becoming more open with me, as if he now believes I’m not going to up and leave every time he does something I don’t like.
I put on some music as I cook. First I marinate the chicken and put it in the oven, then steam the vegetables and make the mashed potatoes. I grin when Rake knocks at the door—apparently he’s learned his lesson about using that damn key. Wiping my hands on a dish towel, I rush to the front door. I shouldn’t be surprised when I open it and see not only Rake at the door but Tracker and Arrow as well, but I am.
Arrow has stayed away from me for the last month, avoiding me at every opportunity, and Rake never mentioned he was bringing anyone with him. Luckily I decided to cook a lot, thinking I’d enjoy the leftovers tomorrow. If I’d known they were coming over, I’d have invited Lana too.
I step aside so they can enter. Rake grins and kisses me on my forehead, and Tracker does the same. When Arrow steps through the door, I move away and follow behind Tracker. What the hell is he doing here?
“Smells good,” my brother says, grabbing a chair and taking a seat. “Next time I’m bringing Faye. She’d love this.”
Great, just what I need, watching the men fawn over her in my own house.
“Nice pj’s,” Tracker says, smirking at my baby-blue cotton tank top and pants. They have pink unicorns on them with sparkly manes.
“Thanks,” I reply. “Dinner’s still cooking.”
Tracker and Arrow take a seat, and I ignore the heated feel of his gaze on me.
“I had no idea our Anna Bell could cook,” Tracker says to my brother. I raise my eyebrow at “our Anna.”
“I can’t,” I insert. “Not really. I mean, I’ve mastered a couple of dishes and that’s the extent of my talent.”
“Anna used to cook for us when we were kids,” Rake says, glancing at me with a proud look on his face. “If it wasn’t for her we would have eaten bread every day.”
Arrow and Tracker don’t react to his statement, and I wonder just how much they know about our childhood.
“You guys want a beer?” I ask, heading to the fridge before they can reply. I set three beers in front of them, then check on the food while they chat and joke around with one another. When there’s another knock at the door, I have no idea who it could be. Rake gets up to answer it, and when he walks back in with Dex, aka Sin, the MC president, my eyes widen and my mouth drops open. Sin and I don’t really know each other. In fact, a head nod is the extent of our familiarity, which he gives me as he steps into my now extremely cramped kitchen and takes a seat at the table. I grab a beer and slide it over to him without a word. It’s almost like I’m at the bar.
I scan the four men’s faces. “Someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on?”
Rake is the one to reply. “We want you to move into the clubhouse.”
“Why?” I demand. I look around my little apartment, my own place, my independence. I like it here, and I’m not going anywhere.
“Because it’s safer,” he says gently. “And I’ll feel better knowing that you’re there.”
I clench my teeth together. “And you needed three other men to tell me this?”
His brows lower. “What? No, these guys were just hungry, and I’d been bragging about your cooking.”
Some of my anger evaporates.
Some.
“Well, I’ll happily feed all of you, but I’m not moving to the clubhouse,” I tell the lot of them, then turn my back and check on the chicken in the oven. When I close the oven and turn around, I come face-to-face with Sin. He’s a handsome man, nicely built with dark hair and eyes that see through you.
“You’re staying with us for a couple of days, and that is that,” he says, looking down at me. “We got some club business going on and I need Rake’s head in the game, not worrying about where his mouthy little sister is, you got me?”
I open my mouth, but then snap it shut. Rake had warned me about this—I needed to respect his president. I didn’t really respect him, because he’d done nothing to earn it from me, but I could fake it.
“A couple of days,” I grit out in reply, swallowing my pride. If I hear the words club business again I am going to stab someone.
Sin’s eyes soften. “Good. Faye will be there; she’ll take care of you.”
Faye and I don’t even know each other.
This was going to be awkward.
EIGHT
DINNER was a huge success, and the four of them cleaned their plates. Arrow was quiet throughout the meal, answering only when spoken to. I pretended he wasn’t there and eventually relaxed and enjoyed myself. I start to clean up and surprisingly, they all help. Even Sin—looks like Faye trained him right.
“Thanks for dinner,” Arrow says, coming to stand next to me.
“You’re welcome,” I reply, keeping my tone even.
“Even better than Mom’s, sis,” Rake tells me, coming behind me and wrapping his arms around me. I swallow hard at his casual affection, after wanting it for so long and finally getting it. The kisses on the forehead started a few weeks ago, and now this.
Progress.
“Thanks, Adam,” I say quietly. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“I more than enjoyed it,” he says, then looks next to me at Arrow. “We should get back. Jill must be waiting for you at the clubhouse.”
Jill?
Who the hell is Jill?
I look at Arrow, who cringes slightly and rubs the back of his head. Oh, right, my woe-is-me eyes. I avert my gaze, not wanting him to feel guilty. He isn’t mine, and he can be with whomever he wants, even this Jill. I hate that she has a name, and that I now know it, but it isn’t his fault I’m stupid and can’t seem to stop myself from wanting him. I don’t even know him. I think I’ve been reading one too many romance novels.
“Jill does what
she wants,” Arrow mumbles. “She isn’t mine.”
Rake chuckles. “I heard you were keeping her busy.”
“Is this what I’m going to have to listen to when I stay at the clubhouse? If so, I’d rather take my chances here,” I say, regretting it as soon as I say it.
Great, let him see just how much it affects you.
“Calm down,” Rake tells me. “It’ll be fun, I promise.”
“Define fun,” I say. “You guys get to fuck and drink and screw around; I don’t get to do any of those things.”
Rake clears his throat, suddenly looking extremely uncomfortable. “You can drink.”
I spin around and shoot him a glare. “Thank you for your permission.”
He frowns. “What is this really about, Anna?”
I throw my hands in the air. I can’t say what this is really about, which is the fact that I am angry and hurt over the fact I have just heard that Arrow has someone and that I am going to have to face this woman. I am jealous, and the thought of Arrow with another woman is killing me. Burning me from the inside out.
“I have no freedom,” I tell him.
Which is also true, but I am overreacting and I know it.
Sin looks to Rake. “I went through this with Faye. Give her a little space, brother. I know you want to protect her, and we all will, but she’s young and needs to live a little too.”
I smile gratefully at my unlikely savior. “Thank you, Sin.” He just earned my respect.
“You have freedom,” Rake says, looking between Sin and me.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” he replies. “You go to school and do your thing. I’m not with you all the time.”
“College is my freedom?” I ask in a dry tone. “What about with men?”
Tension fills the room.
“Like I said, I’m not around you all the time. You have freedom.”
“No, I don’t. I can’t even have a boyfriend who I don’t have to hide.”
Three voices come at me, speaking over one another. “Who the fuck are you seeing?”
“What boyfriend?”
“The fuck?”
“See?” I yell. “Do you see what I have to deal with?”
Rake sighs heavily and scrubs a hand down his face. I notice his knuckles are busted up again. “You’re my sister, I can’t even think about you—”
“Fucking?” I add dryly.
He grimaces. “Yes, that.”
“Well, I’m your sister and I don’t want to know about you being into bondage and shit, but I still hear it around, don’t I? And I’m alive.”
“No men are allowed in the clubhouse unless they’re a brother,” Sin says as he grabs another beer from the fridge.
“Maybe I’ll just hook up with a brother, then,” I say casually, ignoring the four pointed glares I instantly receive.
“That’s not happening,” Rake adds. “No fuckin’ way.”
“Why? Your own club brothers not good enough for me?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.
“No one is, Anna,” Rake replies. “No one is good enough for you.”
My eyes widen. He actually believes that.
“This is all about what happened with Jacob, isn’t it? You need to let that go, Adam! He didn’t get to hurt me! You saved me, and I’ll always be thankful for that, but now you need to trust that I can protect myself.”
I realize I call him Adam every time I get emotional.
I watch as his expression turns fierce, his eyes sparking with anger. “Don’t even say that fucker’s name to me! He’s lucky to be breathing, and only it’s thanks to you he is!”
Okay, bad idea bringing up Jacob. The atmosphere in the room is now even more tense, and filled with scowling pissed-off alpha males.
Note to self: never bring up Jacob again.
The men glance at one another but stay silent.
“What about Tracker?” I ask, choosing him because he’s the safest. “Maybe I want to fuck him.”
“Thanks for that, Anna Bell.” Tracker grimaces.
I fight a smile. “I’m sorry, you were the first person I thought of.”
“Not happening,” Arrow seethes, finally speaking again. “Not fucking happening.”
Ha! So he doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either.
I look around at all their varying expressions and roll my eyes. “I was trying to make a point.”
Sin looks at my brother. “Like I said, give her some space, Rake, she isn’t a kid.”
Rake’s eyes harden, but he doesn’t say anything.
“She might actually want to come to the clubhouse if you give her a little freedom,” Tracker adds, earning himself a glare from both Arrow and Rake.
“You’re no one’s club whore, Anna,” Rake says between clenched teeth. “I won’t have it.”
I put my hand on his shoulder. “I know that! You’re missing the point here.”
He shakes his head. “No brothers. But I’ll lay off you dating anyone else. As long as he’s good to you.”
There was no one I was interested in besides Arrow, but at least it was something. My eyes find his to see him already watching me, a scowl etched on his face.
I nod, keeping my gaze trained on Arrow but answering Rake. “Deal.”
Arrow didn’t want me, so what the hell? I just saved the next man I dated from my brother and his goons.
It’s the small things in life.
“But, Anna . . .” my brother adds. “If they hurt you, they die. Painfully.”
* * *
I bend over, leaning on my knees, laughing so hard that I have to gasp for air.
“What did I miss?” Ryan asks as he walks in carrying a huge box in his hands.
My laughs turn to giggles as I look over at Summer, who is shaking her head at me, covering her mouth with her hand. “Nothing much, just the usual.”
He raises an eyebrow and places the box down on the floor. “This is the usual?”
Summer shrugs and leans back against the bar. “Dude, it’s dead. We have to amuse ourselves somehow, so we were doing a quiz.”
Summer had brought in one of those girly magazines and we were having a good laugh over this month’s quiz: Is He All Man, or Part Pansy? Ryan picks up the magazine and reads one of the questions. “Is it okay for a man to go to the movies alone?”
Summer looks at me and starts laughing again.
I look at Ryan and shrug. “What? I was just saying, who cares if a man goes to the movies alone. As long as he doesn’t have his hand down his pants, it’s okay with me.”
Ryan blinks, then starts laughing too. “You’re something else, Anna.”
My shift goes by quickly, and then Tracker is here to take me to the clubhouse. My stuff is already there. I walk up to Tracker with a smile on my face until I see his own. He has a red scratch mark down his jaw, fingernails by the look of it.
“What did you do?” I ask, cupping his jaw for a closer inspection. “You let that bitch hit you?”
He walks with me to his bike before he speaks. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Since you can’t hit a woman, can I do it for you?”
He smirks. “Thank you for wanting to defend my honor, Anna Bell, but don’t worry about Allie. I’m done with her.”
“I’m guessing she didn’t take it well,” I say in a dry tone.
I squeal as he suddenly lifts me onto the bike. “You’d be guessing right.”
What’s the bet they’ll be back together tomorrow? That’s how their relationship seems to be. Two people who were never meant to be together yet stuck with each other because they’d gotten too comfortable. But hey, who am I to judge? I didn’t even have anyone special in my life. Maybe Tracker just didn’t want to be alone and Allie was a sure bet who knew his lifestyle and didn’t have a problem with it.
When we arrive at the clubhouse, Arrow walks out to greet us. “Hey, Anna.”
I look around. He’s ta
lking to me now?
“Hey, Arrow,” I say, a little unsure. I walk in with him and Tracker on either side of me. No one is around, for which I’m grateful. “Where is everyone?”
“Getting ready to go on a run,” Arrow replies, opening my room door for me. I walk in and toss my handbag on the bed before flopping onto the mattress.
“So who’s going to be here? How is this safe when no one is even here, and what exactly is the danger anyway?” I ask.
He closes the door and comes and sits next to me on my bed. “I’m staying, and a few of the prospects are staying. Everyone else is needed.”
“Why do you get to stay?” I ask, looking into his eyes.
“Just because,” he answers a little gruffly. “It’s my turn to stay behind.”
“And the danger? If you say club business I swear I’ll scream.”
A lip twitch. “Something’s going down, that’s all you need to know. If another MC sees a weakness, they will take that opportunity to use it against us and we can’t take the chance. Because of where you work, people know you belong to the club, and they might use that to their advantage.”
I remember Reid saying something similar.
“Why do they call you Arrow?” I blurt out, something I’ve been wondering for a while now. Is he good with a bow and arrow? Maybe he has an arrow tattoo. For some reason he finds the question really amusing, his eyes sparkling with humor. I can tell he’s trying not to laugh.
It’s a good look on him.
Really good.
Damn him, he isn’t making this easy on me.
“If you ask Faye, I’m sure she will tell you why,” he starts. “But she would be wrong.”
“What does Faye think?” I ask, assuming it’s going to be something dirty. Has he been with Faye? In my mind I picture myself strangling her.
He smirks. “Doesn’t matter what she thinks, the truth is much less interesting.”
“Well, come on,” I say, nudging him with my shoulder. “Keep going.”
“My surname,” he says.
“Arrow is your surname?”
He shakes his head. “My surname is Arrowsmith. Killian Arrowsmith.”
I bite my bottom lip. “You’re right, that is boring.”
He laughs this time. “I know. I think Faye’s story is a lot more creative.”
Arrow's Hell Page 8
