by Unknown
“What? Gay?”
“Yeah. I'm so sorry, I just...”
He chuckled. “No, no. You're right, I am. But Bradley's as straight as they come.”
I laughed real hard, and slugged him softly on the shoulder. “You tricked me. I was gonna be so mortified!”
“Sorry. If I can ask... what gives it away? The way I dress? The way I talk?”
The way he talked, for sure. But I didn't want to tell him that, and make him feel self-conscious. “You just have way too much style to be a straight guy, that's all.”
That answer seemed to do the trick, as he scooted even closer to me and displayed an impeccable smile. “Thanks. That's sweet of you to say.”
I leaned in closer to him, too. “Say, you wouldn’t be interested in dating anyone, would you?”
He pursed his lips real wide and goofy. “I don't know,” he said. “Maybe. Why, do you know someone?”
I smiled. “Actually, I—”
“Well, well, well…” a voice said from the corner of the kitchen, the most ill-timed interruption of the day, if not the week. It was Todd, of course. His eyes were focused on Robert, not me. “Look who we have here.”
Robert stepped away from me, and didn’t even say good-bye. “Uhh, hey Todd.”
He tried to walk to the front door, but Todd blocked him. “Where do you think you’re going? All the fun’s out back!” He put his arm around Robert and started guiding him down the hallway. Todd glanced at me, and shot me an exaggerated smile, like a comic book villain. “And Sydney, wow, what a surprise to see you here. Glad you’ve mellowed since this morning.”
I set my glass down, and went out the side door; I didn’t want to follow his sorry ass. Barely anyone was in the house any longer, so I figured something of interest had to be going on in the backyard.
I emerged under the night sky. Nope, there was nothing. Just drinks. Lots and lots of drinks.
“Sydney! There you are! You disappeared!” Melanie ran up to me and hugged me tight, too tight. Was she seriously already sloshed? “You’ve met my friends, right? This is Daisy, Kendra…”
The line of blonde cattle walked up to me, then past me, to chat up someone they found more interesting.
“Yes, I believe so,” I said.
“Oh Steve! Hey Steve!” Melanie waved frantically, nearly popping me in the face with her hands. “Sorry, I have to say hi to somebody.”
“It's... not a problem.”
She ran over to the grass and hugged three different guys. One passed around shots of tequila. I put my hands against my hips and watched as Melanie downed one of the shots like it was water, then grabbed another, and downed that, too.
“Woo hoo!” she shouted. “Yeah! All right!”
I shook my head. “Oh, Melanie. What the hell are you doing?”
I didn’t want to see her take a fourth shot, or a tenth. I turned around, looked for Evan. He was chatting up some frat guys, near music speakers that were blasting a loud rap song. I turned the other way, and saw Todd and Zach standing over Robert as they made him guzzle a gallon of beer. “Chug, chug, chug!” they shouted. Robert downed as much of the alcohol as his slim body could take, then landed on his knees and started throwing up in the bushes.
Zach immediately waved me over. “Sydney, hey! You wanna go next?”
“Yeah!” Todd added. “It'll be fun!”
Their obnoxious voices mixed in with the defeaning music. I blinked a few times, as my head started to hurt. I focused on Robert. Focused on helping him.
“Get away from me, you jerks!” I said, and pushed past Todd and Zach. I helped Robert up to his feet. “Come on, I’m walking you home.”
“I’m not… I’m not feeling too good…” Robert leaned forward, and blew chunks again, this time at my feet.
I stepped back, tried to avoid the stench. But it got to me right away, and a nauseating dizziness took hold of me.
“Oh no…” I said.
Zach and Todd walked toward me. Reached their arms for my neck, like hungry zombies, or vampires, or both. The music intensified. The stench worsened. Todd and Zach stopped right in front of me.
The whole world started spinning.
“No,” I said, too quiet, under my breath. “Stay back... please... oh God...”
My knees hit the grass.
And everything went black.
Chapter 7
I came to. My head pounded. I looked up at a dozen faces.
“Sydney, you okay?" Melanie asked. “Evan, help her up.”
Evan pulled me to my feet, his arms wrapped around my waist. He guided me through the house, out the front door, his hands right above my ass. Under different circumstances, this might have been more exciting.
“Kendra, give me your keys,” Melanie said from inside the house.
I leaned up against the blue Prius in the driveway. Brought my hand to my forehead, and breathed through my nose. I tried to relax, but nothing worked.
“What happened?” Evan asked.
“I don’t know. I just… I panicked.”
Robert appeared beside me. He was deathly pale, but walking by himself. “I shouldn’t have had all those shots...”
“Shots?” I said. “You mean, you had more than the beer?”
He didn’t answer me. He sat in the back seat, and rested his head against a pile of dirty clothes.
Evan pulled me away from the car, opened the passenger door, and said, “Here, get in.”
I didn't budge. “Wait. You haven’t had anything to drink, right?”
“I've had one beer. Why?”
I trusted him. More than anyone. But I trusted James, too. And it almost killed me.
“You know what? I'll just walk.”
“No, no, no,” Evan said. I stepped toward the sidewalk, but he raced past me and blocked me with his chest. “I don't think that's a good idea.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Get in the car, Syd,” he said, firmly. “I'll talk to you later, okay?”
“All right. But please... drive carefully.”
I walked around the back of the car, and opened the passenger side door. A few people stared at me from the porch of the house, but I ignored them, and took a seat.
I shut the door, rested my head against the window. When I closed my eyes, I was finally able to relax. I wanted to get home. I just wanted this night to be over.
The car pulled out of the driveway.
“You doing okay back there, Robert?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s fine.”
My jaw dropped. I almost screamed. It wasn’t Evan’s voice to the left of me, but Melanie's.
“He’ll just want to chug a ton of water when he gets home, that’s all,” Melanie added. She smiled at me. “How are you feeling?”
“Stop,” I whispered.
“What?”
I pushed my head away from the window. “Please stop the car.”
“What? Sydney, I can’t hear you.”
She rolled through a stop sign, then sped down the neighborhood street. The speed limit was 25. She had to be going at least 40.
“I thought Evan was driving,” I said.
“I told everyone I'd take you home, don't worry about it,” she said, and tapped her hand against my knee. It wasn't as special when Melanie did it.
“You shouldn’t be driving. I saw you. I saw you take those tequila shots.”
“Don't worry. It's not like I'm drunk or anything.”
“Melanie! Goddammit, slow down.”
She sighed. “All right, all right. Jesus.” She went from 40 to 30 in a matter of seconds. “Don’t be so paranoid," she said, and shot me a condescending smile. "It's not like anything's gonna happen—”
“Oh my God!” I pointed out the windshield. A teenage boy skateboarded across the street.
“What?” she said, but I didn’t wait for her to react. I leaned over, grabbed the wheel, and jerked the car to the left.
“What the hell are you
doing?” Melanie shouted, but I didn’t listen. I kept a death grip on the wheel, kept veering the car to the left. I didn't let go until we struck the curb on the other side of the street. The seat belt jerked me back, and my right elbow struck the door handle.
“Oww,” I said.
I turned my head toward the window. The boy didn’t even notice us. He kept skateboarding down the sidewalk and onto another street.
“Oh, thank God,” I said, and unclicked my seat belt.
Melanie struck her fist against the steering wheel. “Are you crazy? Are you trying to kill us?”
I glanced in the back seat. “Robert, are you okay?” He looked out of it, but uninjured.
“Sydney, do you know what you did?” Melanie shouted, her voice grating on me more and more. “This isn't even my car!”
I jumped out on the sidewalk, didn't respond to her. I whipped out my phone. “I’m calling Evan.”
I dialed him. His was only one of four numbers I had in my SAVED column.
“Pick up,” I said. “Pick up, pick up.” After four rings, he finally did. “Hey, it’s Sydney. Can you come pick up your girlfriend? We're near the LMU gate.”
I hung up before Melanie could chime in. She stepped out of the car, slammed the door, stomped toward me. She was furious.
“This is absurd!” she shouted. “What's gotten into you?”
“I'm sorry, but you were gonna hit that kid.”
“What kid?”
I looked down the street but he had vanished. “He was on a skateboard. I saw him.”
“Sydney, there was no one on the street!” She threw her hands up in the air, like she wanted to take a swing at me.
“Yeah, sure there wasn't.”
I pushed past her. I didn’t want to listen to her lies. I opened the back door and helped Robert out of the car.
“Can you walk?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “I feel better actually.”
Robert followed me up to the sidewalk.
“Where are you going?” Melanie asked, clearly debating whether to follow us or not.
“We’re walking back,” I said. “Shame on you, Melanie.”
“Shame on me? For what?”
“I don't care if it was just a few miles. You don't get behind the wheel when you're drunk.”
She shook her head. “For the last time, I'm not drunk! All right? I mean, I might be a little—”
“What? Buzzed?”
She crossed her arms. Her non-response gave me my answer.
“It’s the same goddamned thing,” I said. “This isn’t a joke. How dare you. How dare you, knowing what I’ve been through.”
A car pulled up in front of us. Evan was driving, and two other guys I didn't recognize were in the back seat. He motioned to them to stay in the car, before he jumped out on the sidewalk.
“Oh my God, what happened?” Evan asked. “Are you guys all right?”
“I’m fine,” Melanie said, and turned away from me. “I just want to go back to the party.” She jumped into the back seat, didn’t say another word to me. She tossed Evan the keys to the Prius. “Can you drive the other car?”
Evan stared at her with a furrowed brow. “Why can't you do it?”
“According to Sydney, I'm drunk, I'm not allowed to drive. And I wouldn't want to upset her!” Her words dripped with so much sarcasm that I wondered if Melanie had ever heard of the word, subtlety.
“Uhh… all right,” Evan said, baffled. “Kenny, can you drive her back?”
“Sure,” the blond guy said, and he hopped into the driver’s seat. Melanie and the others took off down the road, leaving Evan behind.
He approached us, a grievous expression on his face that looked more adorable than sad. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I really wanted you to have fun tonight.” He opened the Prius passenger door. The front bumper was pushed up against the curb, but the car didn't appear damaged at all. “Here, get in.”
I tugged Robert toward me. “No, it's fine. We'll walk.”
He bit down on his tongue, like he wanted to scream at me. “She didn’t have that much to drink. She was fine enough to drive you two freakin' miles—”
“She blew through a stop sign, Evan. She almost hit a kid in the street.” I sighed. I was tired of fighting. “Look, I’ll just… I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“But—”
“I don’t want to ruin your night.” I waved him away. “Go. Have fun.”
I walked toward campus, Robert at my side. He was still stumbling a little, so we walked slowly, with me guiding the way. It was barely nine o’clock, but it felt like two in the morning. People were just leaving campus to go out for a night of wild partying, and I was the lame-o already headed back to the dorm for an early bedtime. I hated being the lame-o. I just wanted to be normal.
“Maybe they’re right,” I said. “Maybe there is something wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Robert said, still slurring his words. “You’re perfect.”
“Yeah?” I tapped my fingers against his forehead. “Tell me that in the morning, when you can see straight.”
“But… I’m not straight,” he said. “I'm gay.”
I chuckled. “Exactly.”
We walked for the longest time, for thirty minutes, at least. I dropped him off at O'Malley Apartments, which was just a few steps down from McCarthy. I made sure he got up to his room in one piece, before I headed back to my place.
I hit the bottom bunk hard. It had never felt so soft and welcoming in my life. The cold wind picked up outside, and blew into the room, against my face.
I wanted to sleep, and forget this night ever happened.
So of course I just laid there, for hours, thinking, and hoping.
One, that someday I would break out of my awkward shell.
And two, that I would finally be able to put James behind me, once and for all.
Chapter 8
The car smelled brand new, like vanilla. And the boy next to me smelled of the strongest vanilla extract.
Evan wore only a pair of tight white undies. His hair was a laughable mess, some of it in curls, some of it sticking straight up. But I didn’t mind. His hands were pressed against my chest.
“Sydney, I want you.”
I licked my lips, and said, “I want you, too, Evan.”
He drew his tongue into my mouth, and I pushed my hands against his cheeks. I was still fully clothed, in a white tank top and a pair of ripped jean shorts. He wasn’t going to have that, though. Not any of it.
He tore through my tank top, then unhooked my bra with his sharp, needy teeth.
“What are you doing?” I questioned, like I was scared of getting caught.
“Something I’ve wanted to do since the first moment I saw you,” he answered, in full control.
I rubbed my hands against his stone-hard abs, and kissed the side of his neck. I stroked my thumb first against the small globe-shaped tattoo on his left hip, then against the six letters that made a circle on his beefy right shoulder. S-Y-D-N-E-Y.
He ran his fingers down past my breasts, past my belly button. He stroked his pinky across the cusp of my underwear.
“Evan…”
“Shh.” He brought his lips down to my chest, then ran his tongue against my belly button.
“Evan... please... don't stop.”
He caressed my ass, and said, “Trust me. I don't plan to.” He kissed me all the way back up to my cheeks. He pushed his forehead against mine, stared into my eyes with an intense longing. “Are you ready?”
I didn’t say a word. Just nodded. And waited.
He slipped his fingers underneath my jeans.
“Evan… oh Evan…” I felt it. His fingers. His touch, his perfect touch. I closed my eyes. “Oh my God!”
I let out a scream, as I blinked myself out of my dream. My mouth hung open for a moment, while I tried to catch my breath.
I brought my hand to the side of my
neck, and took in my surroundings. The wind had ceased, and the sunlight was streaming in. My pillow was covered in drool.
“Whoa,” I said. I blinked a few times, but no matter how many times I did, the image of Evan Taylor standing almost naked in front of me only seemed to strengthen.
I sat up, heard the loud banging of fingers against a keyboard past my bed.
“Melanie?” I asked.
“Yeah. Hey.” She said it so solemnly, like someone had died. I slunk down against my mattress for a second. I hadn’t yelled Evan's name in my sleep, had I?
“What... uhh... what time is it?”
“It’s almost ten.” She finished her typing, pushed her chair back, and stood up. She was already dressed, showered, everything. She grabbed a sweater from her dresser drawer, plus a scarf, and said, “It’s supposed to rain today, just FYI.”
I looked out the window. That magical sun streaming in was about to disappear behind a chunk of black clouds. “Oh. Damn.”
“Tell me about it.” She headed toward the front door.
“Wait, where are you going?” I asked.
“Just out with some friends.”
“You don’t want to talk? About last night?”
“It’s fine, Sydney. I’ll see you later.” She rushed out of the room before I had a chance to stop her.
I sat up, dangled my legs off the bed. I shivered. The clouds were only starting to roll in, but the cold was already here.
I checked my phone. There was a missed call from Lukas, so I dialed him.
“Hey, what’s up? You called?”
“Yeah, I wanted your advice about something,” he said, a tinge of sarcasm in his voice. “I'm trying to decide which final to study for first. There’s so many to choose from!”
I laughed. “Oh yeah?” I played with my hair, as I tried to remember all the classes Lukas had this semester. “Let’s see. You could start with sociology, of course.”
“Uh huh. Or psychology, maybe,” Lukas said.
“Or what about History of Africa? Remember, that final’s fifty multiple choice questions, plus two essays and an oral presentation.”
“Oh, yeah. That's right.” He stayed quiet for a moment. I waited for him to say it first. I knew he was thinking it. Finally: “You know what? I don't have to start studying yet. How about we go to IHOP and get some breakfast?”
