by Unknown
Those are the words I faded away to. Everything will be fine. You have nothing to worry about. Everything's going to be—
I woke up in a hospital bed, in a small white room that looked the size of my sophomore dorm. The TV in the upper corner was turned off, and the shades at the window were drawn.
I stared at the ceiling for a few seconds, then closed my eyes. I saw Evan on top of me, Lukas's face as he fell onto the pavement.
Evan.
Lukas.
Where were they?
I sat up in the bed. My back stung with a sharp, vicious pain. I looked down at my aching palms, at the light bandages that covered where all the shards of glass had cut me. I pulled the bed sheets up to my hot, sweaty face, and looked around the room. Empty.
“Is someone there?” I whispered.
A tear trickled down my cheek. I didn’t even know I was on the verge of crying; I just blinked, and there it was. I wiped it away.
“Lukas? Evan?” I looked for my phone, but didn't see it. Where were my belongings? The room was stripped of everything. “Can someone help me?” I yelled, a little louder.
Was I dead? Nobody was coming for me. I needed to move. I needed to get out of the room.
I swung my legs to the left, and scooted toward the edge of the bed. I almost dropped down to the floor, when the door opened up—and Evan walked in.
“Syd?” He had a few scrapes on his left cheek, and his right eye was bloodshot, but he looked otherwise unharmed. I had imagined the worst, but he looked like he’d been in a minor skateboarding accident, nothing more.
“Evan!” I put my arms out, and he crashed right into me, wrapped his arms around my back.
“I'm so glad you're okay,” he said.
“You're glad I'm okay? What about you? I didn’t know if you were alive or dead—”
“Shh. It’s fine. I'm here.” He kissed me on my forehead, then brought his hands to my cheeks.
“I hit Lukas,” I said, shaking my head. “He fell out of the car. It was him, wasn’t it?”
Evan nodded. His eyes were droopy, and his demeanor wasn’t hopeful. I grabbed his shoulders, hard.
“Tell me he’s okay,” I said.
“He’s…” Evan bit down on his bottom lip.
“What? What's wrong?”
“Syd, it's just—”
“Goddammit, Evan! Why are you hesitating?”
“He… he lost a lot of blood. He has a mild concussion, and the doctors said they’re going to need him to stay for observation for a couple days...” He pursed his lips. Had trouble maintaining eye contact with me. “But... yes. He's going to be fine.”
The tears came so fast I could barely breathe. “Oh, thank God. Thank God.” I pushed my palms against my face; the soft bandages rested softly against my eyelids. I took a few deep breaths, then slapped him on the shoulder. “You asshole, you scared the hell out of me! I don’t know what I would have done if…”
“Shh. I know, I know. I'm sorry.” Evan didn’t so much comfort me in his arms, like a boyfriend; instead, he rubbed his hand against my back, with a noticeably impersonal touch. “What happened, Syd?”
He stepped back, and I said, “What do you mean?”
“I was helping Michelle in the back, and wasn't paying attention. You drifted to the other side of the road. What distracted you? Was it the rain?”
I grinded my teeth for a second. “Yeah, I guess. It's all... it's such a blur. I don't really know what happened.” I rubbed my fingers against my temples, looked down at the white metallic ground. I knew exactly what happened, what distracted me, what put everyone I love in danger.
But I didn't know how to tell him.
“I called your mom and dad,” Evan said. “They’re flying down tonight.”
“Oh, you did?”
“Yeah. I could only reach one of your sisters, though. Annabelle didn’t pick up, but your mom said she’d get a hold of her.”
“Thank you, Evan. You didn’t have to do all that.”
“It was no problem,” he said.
I rubbed my neck. It ached as much as the rest of my body. “Is Michelle all right? I figured you would have told me if something—”
“She's fine. A little shaken, but... she'll pull through. She’s downstairs with her mom.”
I gazed into his eyes, surprised and elated at what he was saying. “So she’s okay, too?”
“She’s okay. You were going fast, but the other car was going slow enough so that we weren’t affected too much. They said you were the one who got the most injured because of that stupid air bag.”
I leaned my head back, breathed a sigh of relief. “Jesus Christ, I was so scared. You know... that one of you might have died, or something. When can I see Lukas? Can I see him now?”
Evan brought his hands down to his hips. His lips quivered a little. When he looked away from me, I scooted closer to the edge of the bed, and grabbed hold of his blood-soaked jacket.
“What?” I asked.
He didn't respond.
“Evan, what’s the matter?”
“Umm...” A tear welled up in his bloodshot eye. “Sydney, Robert didn’t make it.”
I stared at him, for what seemed like forever. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out.
The pain started in my gut; it felt like Evan stuck a sharp knife through my navel and started twisting it to the left and right. The pain traveled up my back, to my shoulders, to my neck, like a deadly parasite eating its way toward my brain.
For a second I forgot how to breathe. “What did you say?”
“He didn't have his seat belt on. Lukas said he took it off for a second, to reach for something in the back seat. His head hit the windshield. They couldn’t stop the bleeding…”
“No,” I said, and scooted back. “No, no, no. You’re lying.”
“I’m not. Trust me, I wish I was—”
“You’re lying!” He tried to comfort me, but I pushed against his shoulder. “Get away from me! Get away!”
I unhooked my IV, dropped down to the floor, and landed on my chest with a loud thud. I pushed myself up and ran toward the door. Evan reached for me, but he wasn’t fast enough. I pulled the door open and entered the hallway. It was, like the hospital room, empty.
“Sydney, stop!” Evan followed close behind.
“No! Stay away!” I raced toward the stairwell. I wanted to run and run and run, until my legs gave out.
“Sydney! Please!” He wrapped his arm around my waist, just before I reached the stairs. He kept a tight hold on me as I collapsed to the ground.
“No! Oh God! Oh my God!” I wept into my hands, as I curled up into a ball and shielded my face from the world.
Evan held me, as best he could. “I know this is hard,” he whispered into my ear, as he cried, too.
“They had their date…” I said.
“I know.”
“Their Monday night date…”
“Syd, it’s going to be—”
“I wasn't distracted by the rain,” I said. I looked up at Evan. He dragged his thumb across my cheeks, and wiped my tears away.
“What?”
I couldn't lie. Not anymore. “I was distracted by you. You and her.”
He lowered his head, like he had known the truth all along. “It's okay. Come on, let me take you back.”
Evan put his left arm under my legs, and his right arm under my back. He lifted me up, and carried me back to the room. I nestled my head against his neck, and closed my eyes. The tears hurt too much.
He laid me back against the bed, and pulled the covers over me, up to my waist.
“Please, just try to relax,” he said. “You need to rest.”
I didn’t know what to say or do. I wanted to run again, but my whole body turned numb. I leaned against my side, and rested my head against the pillow.
Evan’s cell phone rang. He picked it up, pressed it to his ear. “Hello?” He hesitated. “Yeah, she’s awake.” He pursed
his lips, and glanced at me with an odd, frightful expression. “Sure thing.”
He slipped his phone back into his pocket and leaned against the bed.
“Who was that?” I asked.
“The police,” he said. “They need to come ask you some questions.”
“The police?”
“Just be honest. You weren’t drinking. It was pouring rain. You lost control of the car…”
“It wasn't the rain, though.” I looked past Evan, waited for the cops to kick down the door. Were they going to handcuff me now, or handcuff me later?
“You have to say it was the rain, Syd. I'm sure a ton of people got into car accidents today—”
“But that would be a lie.”
“So what? Sometimes you have to lie.” He put his hand on my shoulder, but I shook him away.
“Okay,” I said, and crossed my arms. “Evan, I’ll say whatever you think I should say. If you tell me the truth. Once and for all.”
He brought his hands to his sides. “The truth? About what?”
I stared at him, for ten seconds or longer. He had such kind eyes, but behind them was a man I wasn't sure I knew anymore.
“Are you the reason Melanie died? Did you do what Michelle said you did?”
I thought he’d look away. Thought he'd just tell me the same old story.
But Evan kept his eyes focused on mine. He didn't even blink. “Yes,” he said. “I’m sorry. It was an accident. Todd and Zach, they...” He stopped, and started to cry. “I didn't mean for her to die.”
“You son of a bitch,” I said, coldly, with no remorse.
“It was an accident, Syd, I swear—”
“You sick son of a bitch!” I slapped him, hard, against his face. He put his hands up to block further blows, as I pounded my fists against his chest. “I hate you! I fucking hate you!”
“Syd, stop—”
“How could you do that?” I screamed through my sobs. “How could you be so stupid? Get out! I never want to see you again!”
Evan stepped away from me, and headed toward the door. His cheeks were stained with tears. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen.”
“Get out! Now!” I gripped the bed sheets. Tried to catch my breath. I looked at anything but him.
Evan stopped at the other side of the room. He rested his hand on the doorknob, and turned to me. “Sydney, I love you. What I did that night... it's inexcusable. I don't know who that guy was, but it's not me anymore. You have to believe me when I say... I've changed. I've changed because of you.” He finally opened the door. “I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.”
Evan started closing the door. I looked back toward him, reached my arm out. “Evan,” I said. “Evan, wait.”
He stopped, stepped back into the room. “What is it?”
“Don’t go.”
He hesitated at the door. Kept a tight grip on the knob.
“Please,” I said. I started shaking and crying at the same time. “Please don't leave me here all alone.”
He stepped back over to me, and sat down on the bed. As the door closed, a mass of footsteps echoed through the hall.
They were coming.
He took my hand in his. “We’re going to get through this, Syd. I promise you... we’ll get through this together.”
I peered at the door, at the rectangular window in the center of it. A tall, scary police officer stood on the other side. He knocked three times.
I kept a tight grip on Evan's hand. I looked into his eyes and saw not pain or fear, or even regret. All I saw was love.
“Will we, Evan?” I asked, as the officer pushed the door open. “Will we?”
# # #
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
B.D. Rowe is a Sacramento native with a penchant for crafting tales of romance, mystery, and intrigue. Crashing Into You is B.D.'s first New Adult novel.
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