by Bailey James
“Ty?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, not even entirely sure what I’m apologizing for.
“It’s not your fault. It’s that stupid drunk driver who hit you.” He wraps his arms around me as I cuddle into his chest. “Just rest now. You’ll feel better in the morning.”
“Are you staying the night?” I ask, finally opening my eyes to look into his.
He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. “I might. Your mom is still deciding.”
“Why?”
His eyes meet mine. “Because you don’t hallucinate when I’m with you. It’s always when I’m gone. Besides,” he says, kissing the side of my face. “I’m worried about you and I just want to hold you to reassure myself you’re still here and with me.”
My heart melts. “Oh.” My eyes close again, and I let myself drift off to sleep with Ty’s scent all around me. I’d always found it comforting before, but now it’s just another bit of the scenery. And I don’t know what to think about that.
I wake to Mom’s voice. ”How is she?”
“She’s fine,” Tyler says. ”No nightmares, hallucinations, sleepwalking. Nothing.”
“Okay, well. Maybe you should go home for the night, then. She probably just needs a bit more rest.”
Ty tenses beside me before he sighs. ”All right, but I’ll keep my phone on. Please, if something happens, call me.”
“Of course, Ty.”
He kisses my head, and I squirm away from it, not entirely sure why, before he sighs again and pads from the room.
I drift again.
When I wake in the morning, my first thought is Jackson. I don’t know why, nor do I want to. All I know is I want and need to see him. I walk straight to my mirror and see Jackson already there.
He grins when he sees me, mouthing, “Good morning, gorgeous.”
Almost giddy, I smile and place my hand on the mirror. ”Hey.”
His eyes scan me, then he smiles wider. ”You look much better. I’m glad you went to sleep.”
I lift an eyebrow. ”How come I have the feeling you had something to do with it?”
”I didn’t. You fell asleep on your own, Tiger Lily.”
I place my good hand on my hip. “Um, hmm, sure. You just happen to be able to influence people’s decisions, and I just happen to fall asleep when I didn’t want to,” I say, as sternly as I can, but I lose the battle with my smile.
He gives me an injured look and straightens his shoulders. ”Pardon me, ma’am, but I do not influence people’s decisions.” He grins. ”I nudge them in the right direction.”
I snort. ”Yeah. Your direction.”
He waves that away as if it’s a pesky bug. “Be that as it may…”
He gives me his lopsided grin again, and I’m pretty sure I swoon. I don’t even care.
“I didn’t, though. Promise. I told you I’d never influence you and I meant it,” he says. “You were, however, pretty dead on your feet.” He sighs and drags a hand through his hair. “You’ve gone through so much in such a short amount of time, and it’s my fault.”
With a quick shake of my head, I say, “None of this is your fault. It’s this stupid portal. It doesn’t make any sense. Sometimes we can do one thing, and then later we can’t. Like how did you pass through? But now neither of us can.”
“Well, the whole portal thing doesn’t make sense, period, but I understand what you’re saying.” He frowns. ”That reminds me.”
My heart drops into my stomach. “About what?”
“Listen. Don’t get mad, but…”
“But what?” I ask as a lump forms in my throat. This doesn’t sound like something I want to hear.
He takes a deep breath. ”I kept checking on you last night. I wasn’t like a stalker or anything; I was just worried and wanted to watch over you.”
“Oh,” I say, and blush. It amazes me that it gives me butterflies to know Jackson had been worried enough about me to check on me. I’m lightheaded again, but in a good way this time.
He studies me. ”Are you mad?”
“No.” I punctuate it with a smile.
Jackson’s shoulders relax. ”Okay, well, I checked on you last night and heard your…boyfriend,” he sneers the word—I should probably be mad about it, but I’m not, “and your mother talking. I think you should pretend that you don’t see me. That I am just a hallucination.”
“But why? If they know I’m telling the truth, then we can spread the word and—”
“Lily, they won’t believe it. I can hear what they’re thinking. They’ll never see me.” He sighs again. “I read more yesterday while you were asleep. I found a few more accounts of stories from people missing family members or friends. I still don’t know why this is happening, but it never happens to more than one pair at a time—gender and sexual orientation don’t seem to matter, but always only a pair—and no one else ever manages to see it. They could be in the room right now, and they’d only see you talking to your reflection.”
I close my eyes as a sliver of doubt slips back in, before reopening them and focusing on him. ”So, this might be nothing more than a dream after all.”
His hand presses tighter against the glass, and the mirror wavers. ”It’s real, Tiger Lily. Don’t doubt yourself again. Please.” His eyes plead with me, and I have a moment to think that I’d do anything for him with that look before he says, “I just finally proved myself to you.”
A tremble goes through me at his words.
Oh boy. I’m in so much trouble.
A tiny bit of guilt seeps into me at my thoughts about this boy who isn’t my boyfriend.
“I’m not,” I finally say. ”Just a tiny bit worried.”
He relaxes but keeps his hand tight against the glass. ”I know. Sometimes I still doubt myself, but this is happening, and we have to figure out why. If those two see you talking to yourself, it’s going to cause problems.”
I sigh. “I agree. If they won’t see you, there’s no point in trying to get them to believe me. They’ll just send the men in white coats for me.”
He chuckles. ”Yeah, don’t let them do that. How else am I going to see your beautiful face in my mirror?”
“You keep saying that, but don’t mean it,” I say, with a blush, as the butterflies batter against the walls of my stomach.
The sparkle returned to his eyes. ”Oh yes, I do. You’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.” Then he smirks. “Besides, it’s better to look at your face than mine.”
I pretend to swat the glass as I let out a laugh of my own. ”I don’t know. Yours is pretty. I think I’d rather look at yours than my own.”
He frowns and runs a finger down the length of his scar. ”I don’t think so.”
I reach out and draw over the glass where his scar is. ”I do,” I say, my voice serious.
His hand bumps the glass as he reaches for mine, and he glares at it before meeting my eyes again. ”You mean that?”
I don’t even hesitate. “Yes.”
“Lily, I—” He cuts off when my door opens.
Thinking quickly, I grab my phone, which I’d left in my pocket and hold it up to my ear, and pretend to fix my hair in the reflection when my mother peers around the corner. Acting like I’m talking on the phone but keeping my eyes on Jackson’s, I say, “Well, it was wonderful talking to you. I’ll call you later. Okay?”
My mom glances at the mirror, and even though Jackson has just told me she can’t see him, I’m still surprised when she doesn’t react to the sight of a stranger. All she does is smile at me.
I frown and, for a moment, I question my sanity again, but then Jackson wiggles his eyebrows at me, and I have to stop myself from laughing. I roll my eyes and nod.
Okay, okay, you’re right,
I think. I fight the urge to stick my tongue out as Jackson fist pumps the air.
When Ty walks in, Jackson glares at him. “I’ll be here,” Jackson mouths since my hand no longer touches the mirror. He backs away with one more glare at Ty before it fades into a sad expression as the glass wavers and goes back to showing me only my reflection.
Ty hurries over. ”Hey, beautiful. How are you this morning?” He takes both of my hands in his, being careful with the damaged one.
I know what he’s really asking and say, “Great. No nightmares or hallucinations.” The lie rolls off my tongue so easily it surprises me, but I’m grateful, too. I’ve never been a good liar, but if I can pull this off, maybe I can hold them off long enough to figure out what’s really going on.
Both Mom and Ty sigh in relief. ”Well, great,” he says and kisses my knuckles. Usually, that has my stomach tingling, but I don’t feel it now.
“Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes, kids.” Mom smiles, and it’s brighter than the one she’d had when she first walked in.
She kisses my cheek and then hugs me before leaving.
Ty swoops me up into his arms and kisses me. I put everything I have into the kiss, but realize it isn’t the same. Something is missing. I usually felt giddy and lightheaded when he kissed me. This time I feel nothing. No butterflies. No champagne bubbles in my blood. No tingles. Nothing.
What the hell is going on?
I glance over Ty’s shoulder to see Jackson watching us with an expression I don’t understand. It’s half-anger, half-heartbreak, and seeing it causes an ache so deep in my chest, I actually press the heel of my palm into it to try and rub it away.
When Jackson sees me looking, our eyes meet, and we stare at each other for a long moment. So many different emotions cross his chest and blow through me. Finally, he removes his hand from the glass and mouths something to me, but his image fades, and I can’t make it out.
Chapter Fifteen
My soul aches for Jackson. Panic creeps in as he disappears from my mirror. I try to shove away from Tyler, but he holds me at arm’s length.
“What’s wrong?” he demands, his eyes searching my face.
“Nothing,” I blurt out, my voice a little breathless, “it’s just…my face. It looks worse than it did before.” My bruises have turned a sickly yellow color, and I still have dark circles under my eyes, so not really a lie.
He rubs his thumb across them. “Well, if you slept instead of playing with your mirror, you wouldn’t have the circles.”
He winks at me and I know he’s just teasing, so I give a nonchalant shrug, even though his words irk me. “Yeah. I suppose so.”
He kisses my cheek and laughs. “Come on. Let’s eat breakfast, and then we’ll figure out something to do. How’s that sound?”
I nod, but my heart isn’t in it. What I want—need—to do is talk to Jackson, but I doubt I’ll get away with it. Not after I’ve ignored Ty the last few days. Besides, he’s my boyfriend. I should want to spend time with him and not some other boy, right?
Right, my logical side says, but even she doesn’t seem convinced.
Ty grabs my hand, interlacing our fingers as I follow him downstairs.
Alder and Rose are sitting at the table when we get to the kitchen. They both give me their identical grins, something all of us children share. Alder pulls out the chair next to him. “Hey, Lily Bug. You look great this morning.”
I make a face at him. “Sure. I just look like death warmed over.”
Ty pats my knee in an almost patronizing way as he sits next to me. “No, you don’t. You look beautiful.”
Alder rolls his eyes and makes a gagging sound. I can’t help but laugh.
“Oh, stop, Alder,” Rose says. “Just because you don’t have a girl doesn’t mean you can make fun of Ty.”
“I’m her big brother. It’s my job.”
Rose opens her mouth to sting him with her wasp of a tongue, but Mom steps over and places a plate full of French toast in front of us. “Rose, leave your brother alone. Alder, leave Ty alone.” She turns around to get the bacon.
When Dad enters the room, he smiles. “Hey, Princess. Decided to join us this morning, eh?”
I grin, feeling like myself for the first time in a few days and enjoying the normalcy that my family is propagating for me. I kiss Dad’s cheek when he stoops down next to me. “Yeah. I think I’ve had enough beauty sleep.”
“Didn’t work,” Alder says with a smile.
“Alder,” Dad warns, but I roll my eyes.
“Sorry,” Alder says, looking anything but sorry.
I stick my tongue out at him, and he laughs.
When Mom sits down to eat, I tune out the conversation, my mind upstairs on my mirror.
What was with that look he gave me? What did he say?
Even though I finally feel like myself, my worry over Jackson causes me to pick at my food. I’m not really hungry, but if I don’t eat, Mom will say something. The way it is, she keeps shooting me concerned looks. Just to make her happy, I take a large bite of her syrupy goodness and choke it down.
I force myself to tune back into the conversation. My parents are talking to Ty about our plans today. Apparently, he’s bringing me to his house. He thought it might be better than being stuck at mine. I guess he thought I’d want to go. Under normal circumstances, he’d be right, but not today. Today, I need to see Jackson again. Or, barring that—if the mirror doesn’t want to cooperate—go see Cindy and Rowan again.
Ty takes my hand, startling me. “That okay with you, Lil?”
I’m not sure what he asked, but I think it was something about taking me out, so I smile and nod. I wonder how long I’ll have to stay. One hour? Two? The whole day? I hope not.
Despite only knowing Jackson a few days, and only through my mirror, I miss him. I don’t understand it, but I do, miserably so. Then again, nothing makes sense anymore. Reality has skewed itself; should I really be questioning the attraction I have for a boy I just met when there are more critical things to wonder about?
“Lily, aren’t you going to eat?” Ty asks.
“Uh, no. I’m full.” I push the plate away, ignoring the frown Mom gives me.
Tyler frowns too. “Are you sure? I mean, you hardly ate anything yesterday. You’re going to melt away.”
I laugh along with the others. “I doubt that. When I get hungry, I’ll eat.”
He glances at my parents, who shrug. “Okay, well then, are you ready to go?”
“Sure.”
I let him help me up and slip an arm around my waist when we leave the house with a quick wave to my parents.
We sit in silence as we drive to his house. The silence isn’t a new thing, but the foreboding and awkwardness are. He keeps shooting me glances and opens his mouth once or twice, obviously planning on asking a question, but each time he just slams it closed without saying anything.
I keep my hands in my lap and stare out the windshield, pretending I don’t see his struggle. All I can think is ‘I don’t want to be here.’ I want to be home. With Jackson. And that makes me feel so guilty I’m practically in tears.
What on earth is wrong with me? Ty is amazing. He’s been a fantastic boyfriend. Attentive. Loyal. Loving. Protective. And the chemistry between us has always been smoking. Until now.
Now it’s like everything between us is gone. Not like it was taken, but like it never existed. I feel nothing with Ty. It’s like I’m numb. I remember the feelings I had for him, but it’s like they belong to someone else. Like maybe I was someone else then.
The thought has more tears burning the back of my eyes and my throat clogging.
In his driveway, Ty puts the car into park but doesn’t budge from his seat. He only turns to look at me.
“Is something wrong?”
I force a bright smile
, but I can tell from his expression he isn’t buying it. “I’m fine. Just thinking about stuff.”
His hand moves from the steering wheel to mine. He starts tracing a pattern over the back of it with his finger. It makes my skin itch, so I pull away. He frowns at me.
“About what?” His face is filled with nothing but concern, and it makes my heart hurt even more.
I blink quickly to stop those stupid tears from coming.
“It’s nothing, Ty. So?” I clap my hands. “What are our plans for today?”
He gives me a strange look, his eyebrows lifting. “I told you at your house. Don’t you remember?”
I peer down at my hands. “I guess I wasn’t paying attention.”
He’s quiet for a minute, the silence growing even thicker and more awkward. Then he shifts closer and lifts my chin with his finger, so I have no choice but to look at him. “Hey, you know what? I do that all the time. No worries.”
His eyes run across my face before he pecks my lips and releases me. My stomach churns at the kiss, and anxiety slams into me so hard I close my eyes and clutch my stomach to fight it back.
What the fuck?
“So, what I was planning was…”
He steps out of the car, apparently not noticing my distress, so I swallow down the panic and make myself open my eyes and exit the vehicle. My head spins. I have to grab ahold of the door to stop myself from falling. I take deep breaths, forcing the air in and out of my lungs.
“…we’d go to the Science Center. How’s that sound?” he continues, still not noticing how not myself I am in this moment.
But those words break through my panic attack. The Science Center? That sounds like a great idea. I haven’t been there in years, but I bet they have information on parallel dimensions.
Yeah. No. But maybe.
“Sure. Awesome.” My voice comes out a little breathless, and he finally realizes I’m struggling, but he must think it’s all physical because he only rushes around the hood and hooks his arm around my waist, tugging me into him and helping me up the walk to his house.
