by Bailey James
“About what?” I ask, trying to ignore how my stomach is twisting itself into knots. I should have listened to Jackson. Something most definitely doesn’t feel right, and I know I should have stayed home, happily ensconced in my bedroom.
Ty glances to the doorway of the kitchen where his dad disappeared. “I know what’s going on, Lily. I know who Jackson really is.” He places his hand on my knee.
“Okay, so? What, is he a murderer or something?” I joke. My stomach lurches. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sick.
Maybe if I keep pretending like I don’t understand what they’re saying, they’ll let it drop.
Yeah, right.
Ty shoves a hand through his hair and then says, “We know he’s the one you see in your mirror.”
I laugh it off as every cell in my body goes into full-out panic mode. “No, he’s not. I met him at the beach.” My mind races as Ty watches me with sad eyes. “I’m sorry, I know that’s awful what I did to you, but honestly, I think that’s why my brain used him as a hallucination.”
“Lily,” Ty says, reaching for my hand, which I pull out of reach. “I know the truth. Leah came over yesterday after…well, after your fight. She was worried about you. Said you were acting strangely, and she thought it had to do with the new boy. She said his name was Jackson and told us what you said he looked like. It’s the same description of the boy you saw in the mirror.”
God damn it, Leah! Anger boils away some of my panic. Why is she sticking her nose into my business when she does the same exact thing to us every single time she gets a new boyfriend? I want to punch her at the same time as I want to cry hysterically in the corner.
Instead, I laugh again, but even I notice it sounds a bit feverish. “Of course he does. My mind had to use something, didn’t it?”
Ty manages to snag my hand this time, and the look he gives me is filled with pity when he says, “Hot dog guy didn’t look like that, Lily. He had blond hair.”
Fuck!
That’s true. How could I have forgotten? What do I do now? Well, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore if he thinks I’m crazy. It’s clear he already does. Maybe he’ll leave me alone if he thinks I am. So, I go with it.
“Okay,” I say, and watch surprise light upon Ty’s face. “You’re right. Jackson is the boy in my mirror.” I shrug like my heart isn’t trying to jump out of my throat. “That doesn’t change anything.”
“Jackson isn’t real.”
I roll my eyes, then smile, doting mother to foolish child. “Yes. He is.”
“Your friends? The ones who supposedly come from this…other world? They don’t exist either.”
What in the world is he talking about? Of course, they do. I’ve gone to their house too many times to count in the last two weeks.
“Yes, they do.”
“No, they don’t, beautiful.” Ty cups my face in his hands, but I pull away and stand, moving a few feet from him.
Ty doesn’t move from the couch. “Baby, Leah and I went to their house yesterday. No one has lived there for months.”
My heart lurches in my chest. “That’s a lie. I was just there two days ago.”
“I’m not lying. We went and knocked at the door for a long time, but no one answered. The old woman across the street told us that this Cindy person hasn’t lived there for months. That she moved about six months ago.” Ty’s tone is gentle, like he knows just how painful his words are to me, and he’s trying to make it easier.
It sets my teeth on edge.
“You obviously had the wrong house,” I say, with an easy smile I don’t feel.
He sighs and drags his hand through his hair again. “We double-checked, Lily. It was the right house.”
That’s just not possible. He’s either lying, or he’s mistaken. I stare at him. There’s an edge to him, and I know he’s lying. He has to be.
And at that moment. I hate him a little for it.
“You’re lying,” I hiss, causing his eyes to widen in shock. “What a cruel joke. What’s wrong, Ty? Know you can’t get me back any other way, so you have to gaslight me?” My hands clench and unclench by my side. I’m so livid, I can’t breathe properly.
How dare he use my accident against me like this. It’s one thing to say he doesn’t believe me about the mirror thing. Who would? It’s insane. I know that better than anyone, but to feign pity and lie about Cindy and Rowan? I have no words to express how wrong that is.
Ty shakes his head. “Lily, that’s not why. It’s because it’s true. Something is mixed up in your head. You need help. Let me help you. Please. I love you.”
He reaches out for me, but I flinch away. My breaths rush out in gasps. My heart races so fast it has to be trying to escape from my chest. I bolt toward the door, but Ty is faster and grabs me around the waist and holding me tightly.
“Let me go!” I scream, struggling to get out of his arms.
In contrast to the desperation and hysteria in my voice, his is the epitome of calm in my ear. “No. You need me. I’m sorry I couldn’t see it through my pain. I’m not going to let go. Ever.”
“I don’t need you. And I don’t need someone who would resort to this just to get me back.” I glare at him. “I would have expected better from you.”
“I’m not doing this to hurt you, Lily. You need to see that Jackson’s not real. I just want to help.”
“I’m not crazy! He’s as real as I am.” I struggle to get out of Ty’s embrace, but he only holds me tighter, so all I can do is squirm around in his arms.
Tyler huffs out a breath and then places his forehead on the back of my head. “No, he’s not, Lily.” He sounds so sad that if I wasn’t so angry, my heart would break for him.
It’s at that moment that I realize maybe he’s not lying to me. He really believes what he’s saying. He really does think that I made Cindy and Rowan up. Because of this, and knowing that all the arguing in the world isn’t going to get me anywhere and that my struggles and screaming are only making me look as crazy as he thinks I am, I stop both. I need to see for myself why he says Cindy and Rowan don’t exist. He genuinely believes it, so it has to have a rational explanation.
I bite my lip as I stop struggling, then I peer up and smile at Ty, who smiles back.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
Relief flows into his eyes, and he ducks his head to nuzzle at my neck. “It’s okay, beautiful. We’ll get this figured out. I love you,” he whispers.
“No, Ty, you misunderstand me.”
He exchanges another wary look with his dad, and his hands shake. “What do you mean?”
“I’m sorry for this.” Stealing myself for the pain, I slam my head back into his. Pain slams into my head as Ty howls with it. His arms release me as he reaches up to cup his nose. I take advantage of his distraction and bolt before he can recover, fishing my keys from my pocket as I make the mad dash to my car, diving into it. I struggle to shove the key into the ignition, cursing my cast, while my whole body shakes and I gulp air in like a fish out of water.
I finally manage to shove the key into the slot and turn the engine over as Ty races out of the house. I throw the car into drive and slam my foot onto the accelerator. The car lurches forward with a screech of rubber on asphalt, and I peel away from the curb, flying down the road, the engine roaring.
I drive straight to Cindy and Rowan’s. Every once in a while, I peek into my rearview mirror, but the only person I see is myself.
When I arrive at Cindy’s house, I peer across the street to see the cute little girl I noticed on my first trip playing with her dolls in the front yard. She smiles a huge grin that shows her two missing front teeth and waves excitedly when she sees me.
No old lady there, I think, and wave back and jog up the walk, taking as many calming breaths as possible without hyperventilating. I don’t even have to ring t
he bell before Cindy is pulling open the door. It’s almost like she has a sixth sense when it comes to me showing up out of the blue.
She pauses when she sees me, then yells for Rowan before rushing to me and hugging me tightly.
“What’s wrong? Was Jackson hurt?” she demands.
I shake my head. “No. He’s fine. It’s Ty.”
“What did he do? Did he hurt you?” Rowan asks, crouching down in front of me. His voice is calm, but his left fist keeps clenching and unclenching, and his eyes flash with something dark.
“No. He thinks I’m crazy. He wants me to go to a doctor. To get help. He said you didn’t exist, that you were just another figment of my imagination, just like Jackson is,” I gasp out.
The pair exchange a look, but Rowan visibly relaxes. “Okay, honey, it’s okay. Come on. Let’s get you calmed down, and then we’ll figure this out.”
I let them lead me into the house.
After several minutes, I calm down enough to tell them what had happened.
Cindy hands me a cup of chamomile tea and then sits next to me while Rowan takes a seat across the room.
“This boy. Ty?” She pauses long enough for me to nod before she goes on. “He said he came here yesterday, and a woman told him we don’t live here?”
I nod quickly and take a sip of the tea, hissing when I burn my tongue. “Ty said he wanted to talk to you about feeding me lies, and when he got here, an old woman told him you had moved. About six months ago.”
Rowan barks out a laugh. I peer over to see an amused expression on his face. I lift an eyebrow and glance at Cindy. She has the same amused look on her face.
“What?” I ask.
“He went to the wrong house,” Cindy says simply.
Yeah, I figured, but… “Huh?”
“He went to the wrong house,” she says again with a shrug. “I moved about six months ago. He obviously went to the house. The question is how.”
“He said he got the address off your website, but that can’t be true because I did, too, and I came to this house.”
No one says anything to that, so I take another more careful sip of my tea as Rowan plays on his phone, and Cindy leans back in her seat, a considering look on her face.
It’s so quiet in the house that when Rowan exclaims, “Aha!” I actually startle, almost spilling my tea.
He leans forward and hands his phone off to Cindy, pointing to the bottom of the screen. At my questioning look, he smiles. “The address on the bottom of the screen is wrong. It has our old address on it. Before we moved.”
“It does? I didn’t even notice.”
“Where did you get our address from?” Cindy said, swiping across her phone.
“The About Us page.”
She taps a few times on the screen, then nods. “That’s the correct one. Ty probably ran into Mrs. Pennywiffle. Nice woman. Nosy, though. And she always thought I had a cat for some reason,” Cindy says with a slight smile.
I start laughing, relief pouring over me like a waterfall. “Well, that explains that. Listen, do you mind coming home to explain to my parents what’s going on?” They exchange a look, and I quickly add, “I know you don’t trust them enough to tell them your whole story, but I think they’re going to admit me if Ty tells them what he thinks. I don’t want to go alone.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ty’s car is in the driveway when I get home.
Fuck!
Panic courses through my veins. My chest is tight, and I feel like I can’t breathe. My head spins in direct contrast to my sinking stomach. Whatever happens, it is going to be bad. I know it. I can feel it.
In slow, jerky movements, I step from the car and take deep breaths as I cross the lawn toward my house. I hope I don’t hyperventilate and pass out on my front lawn. With each step, more lead weights pile into my stomach, competing with the butterflies and froggerflies. A dog starts barking as I take the final steps to the porch, begging Rowan and Cindy to hurry up so I don’t have to do this alone.
The door flies open as I put my hand on the knob. Mom grabs me up into her arms and pulls me into the foyer. “Oh, sweetie, you’re all right. Thank goodness. When Ty told us you’d taken off, we didn’t know what to do. We were about to call the police.”
I swallow, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat as I try to come up with something to say. “I’m sorry, Mom. I was just a little…upset.” I stare over her shoulder at Ty, who stands next to my brother, his hands behind his back. I wince, feeling awful when I see the start of a black eye forming and the dried blood under his nose. Alder’s usually smiling face is set in a frown, and he holds onto Rose, who’s crying into his chest.
I step back to peer at Mom. “What’s going on? Why is Rose crying?”
Fear chills my blood because I think I know exactly what’s going on, and it’s everything I feared would happen.
She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before reopening them. “Ty told us what’s going on.”
I let out a shaky breath and glance at Ty’s father as he steps into the foyer from the kitchen.
Great. He’s here, too.
I lick my lips and then nod, stealing my spine. “I know you think I’m going crazy, but I have proof I’m not.”
Mom draws her brows together while Ty and his dad exchange a look, and Rose peeks at me with wide eyes.
“And what is that?” Mom asks.
I stare at Ty as I say, “Cindy and Rowan. They’ll be here any minute.” I smile and gesture toward the doorway. “They’re right behind me. They probably got caught in traffic or something.”
Mom looks to Ty before he steps forward. “Lily.” His voice is calm, almost patronizing, and I narrow my eyes at him when he continues. “Cindy and Rowan don’t exist.”
I fight the urge to roll my eyes and instead give him my doting mother smile. “Yes, they do. They’ll be here any minute.”
Ty’s father raises an eyebrow at Mom, who nods her head. He then slips back into the kitchen, causing fear to freeze my insides. I hate that he’s here. I hate that Ty is here. Why do they have to be here? They’re only making things worse.
I peer over my shoulder at the windows again, but still don’t see any sign of Rowan’s car.
“Lily,” Mom says. “We’re worried about you.”
“Mom, please. Just give me a chance—” I pace back to the porch and look as far down the street as I can.
“Lil,” Alder is next to try, “can we just talk to you for a minute?”
“They’re coming, I swear.” My eyes burn with tears.
Where are they? If they don’t get here soon, it’s going to get worse.
I feel the eyes of my whole family watching me. No matter where I look, I find fear and concern on every face. I try not to let it get to me and keep focused on the empty driveway and street.
When Ty’s father steps in from the kitchen, he exchanges a look with Mom, who sighs and says, “Lily. They aren’t coming.”
Swallowing at the lump in my throat, I turn to smile at her, but it wavers when I see the expression on her face. “They’re coming. Maybe there was an accident or something…”
Ty’s dad steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder. I jerk away. “Honey, I called the number Ty found. It’s disconnected.”
My heart lurches, but I ignore. “No, that can’t be true. Here let me call them.”
I yank out my cell and shakily tap the screen to get to Cindy’s name in my contacts. When it rings, I give them a triumphant smile, which fades when no one answers. Ty approaches, but I back away.
“No, no. They probably just didn’t get to the phone in time. Cindy’s forever losing her phone. Kinda like me.” I give a half laugh that sounds wild even to me and press the send button again. When they don’t answer, tears sting the back of my eyes.
No, no. Not now. Don’t do this. Please answer. Please.
I press send again. And again.
When I try for the fifth time, Ty steps up and covers my hand and the phone with his. “Lily. Stop. They don’t exist. Please let us help you.” His eyes are filled with pain—his hand trembles over the top of mine.
“No. It’s fine. They exist. Cindy probably just left her phone at home. I’ll try Rowan.”
I tug on my hand, but he doesn’t release it. He only pries my fingers off my cell and wrenches it from my hand. He tosses it to Alder, who catches it and shoves it in his pocket.
Anger burns the tears from my eyes. “Hey! That’s my phone. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Ty pulls me into his body while I struggle against him. He seems to have learned his lesson because he carefully keeps his palm on the back of my head as he presses it into his chest with the other wrapped around my waist.
“They don’t exist, beautiful. You know they don’t. Deep down, you know the truth. Please let us help you.”
I struggle to get away from Ty, but he only holds tighter. I barely manage to turn around to face Mom.
“Mom, please listen to me. I don’t need help. I have books and books on this in my room. I can prove it. Please let me show you.”
She shakes her head. “No, Lily. You can’t prove it because it’s not real. It’s just your brain playing tricks on you.”
I could spit I’m so mad. Why won’t they even let me try to prove it to them?
I fight even harder. If I can get to my room, I can prove it. I know I can. “No, Mom, really. I have all the proof you need in my room to show you it’s real. Please, let me show you.”
She ignores me as I continue to squirm to get away from Ty. We all glance over as Dad walks in from the kitchen. He frowns when he sees me, and hope flares in my stomach. He’ll help me. He always believes me. I stop struggling and give him my best butter-wouldn’t-melt smile, but it falls when he ignores me and turns to Mom. My stomach sinks as he gives her a tiny nod.
She closes her eyes for a second and then turns to me with a bright smile. The smile I’ve seen every time she’s going to tell me something I know I don’t want to hear. Something she doesn’t want to say. She must think it softens the blow, but it never does.
