She nodded and wiped under her eyes. “I have a new job, Riley. I’m moving. So, I won’t be your babysitter anymore, but I bet you get a new one that is super awesome.” She was moving? A new baby sitter?
I ran to my room to grab my Tinker Bell Barbie doll and brought it back to her room. I placed it in one of her boxes. She looked at it and back to me, not understanding. “It’s so you have another Tinker Bell with you, so you don’t forget me.” I said.
She smiled and hugged me sooooo tight. “I will never forget you, Tinker Bell.”
I went back downstairs to Mommy and Daddy, and they were in the kitchen talking in a serious tone. “Evan, it’s not just that. My mom wouldn’t even watch Riley for me to go to college. Why would she care to watch her so I can go wait tables at Hooters? Having Linda was perfect. She has been there for me through everything. I can’t believe she would just walk away without any explanation.” My mom had her hand on her hips and was pacing back and forth around the island.
My daddy took a sip of coffee and leaned back against the counter with his ankles crossed over the other. “It’s going to be fine. I wanted to talk to you about something anyway… something big. I think we should move to Grandbury. They have a nice little subdivision near the lake called Willowbend. It’s beautiful. I found the perfect house and they have great schools for Riley, and you can do whatever your heart desires. We won’t need anyone to sit for her anymore once she is in kindergarten. I can get a job in the city or start my own business, and we can live in a small town. It will be great.” He said smiling.
“As in us moving? My mom is here,” she asked him
He nodded, “It could be good for us. Starting over. Just you and me and our little Tinker Bell, it was always supposed to be that way. It’s only a few hours away. ” He put his cup down and walked over to give my mom a hug and a kiss.
“Okay?” he asked whispering.
“Okay.” she replied.
The next month, Mommy didn’t go to work anymore. She stayed home with me all day and all night. At night, she wasn’t happy with me, though. She made me stay in my room. During the day, she used to take me places, but now she takes naps, and I watch cartoons. Mommy would get sick a lot. Her tummy was upset, and she would throw up in the potty. Daddy said it would go away in a few months. Mommy said Daddy was to never touch her again. I don’t know what either of them was talking about.
Today, Mommy and Daddy took me to the park. I was so excited because it was Wednesday, and Mommy and Daddy never take me places together during the week. Daddy pushed me on the swings, and Mommy was busy watching another mommy push a baby in the bucket swing next to me. Mommy frowned and Daddy sighed.
After the park, they took me to Target to pick out a new baby doll. We took my new baby doll to the boardwalk and rode on the merry-go-round, and I even got Cotton Candy. All of that attention was new, and I was happy. I liked it.
“Does daddy’s ‘Lil’ Tinker Bell like her new baby doll?” he asked me later back at the home as I sat in mommy’s lap.
I nodded, “Yes. She has a pretty green dress on. I like green.”
Mommy sniffled, “Would our ‘Lil’ Tinker Bell be happy to have a real baby, not just a doll?” she asked me.
I shrugged and put my baby dolls bottle to her mouth. “Shannon says babies are stinky and they cry a lot.” I told them.
Mommy sniffled again and daddy sighed again. “Well, yes. Babies do stink sometimes with dirty diapers, and they do cry a lot, actually. But you were a baby once, Riley, and look at how awesome you are now,” Daddy said.
“Do you want a baby, Daddy?” I asked him. He smiled nodding yes.
Mommy grabbed my hand and put it on her tummy. “We are having a baby, Riley. It’s right here sleeping.” She said softly frowning at daddy. She didn’t look happy with Daddy right now.
“Oh, wow!” It was all I said, before I took my baby doll with me to play on the carpet.
I was sitting on the grass pulling pieces of it out. I had my new baby doll with me, and I was dressed in my favorite Tinker Bell costume like always. Daddy was unloading the truck with boxes into our new house. Mommy was talking to our new next-door neighbor.
Her name was Mrs. Jessica, and she was having a baby, too. Mommy had a new friend. I was sad because the ice cream truck was at the curb down the road, and Mommy wouldn’t take me to get an ice cream.
I wanted some ice cream, “It’s no fair, Mommy. I want some ice cream,” I whined.
“Not now, Riley.” She said exasperated with me.
“I can share mine,” a little boy said coming up to stand next to Mrs. Jessica. He had an ice cream sandwich in his hand that was melting all over the grass as he walked. He tore it in half and was about to hand me the piece, when he stepped on his untied shoelace, tripped and fell, dropping both pieces of ice cream in the grass.
“Uh-oh” he said, his voice like a singsong.
I stood up worried that he hurt himself and walked over to him. His Mommy wasn’t paying attention either so she didn’t see him fall. “Are you okay?” I asked him.
He nodded and stood up. He looked down at the ice cream in the grass and on his shirt. “Sorry, I gonna be right back,” he told me, and ran into his house. I shrugged and went back to my baby doll and pulling up grass, pouting. No ice cream for me.
“Wow, Claudia. We will be having our babies at the same time. My son Joshua is so excited to have a baby brother or sister. Is your daughter excited?” Mrs. Jessica said with a huge smile. She was pretty.
Mommy looked down at me and back to Mrs. Jessica. “Not yet. She might get more excited once the baby is here, just not right now.” She admitted.
It’s true, I am not happy about a new baby. Mommy and Daddy already don’t spend a lot of time with me. If a new baby comes, I will have to share, and I don’t want to share. No babies.
“Here,” the little boy said, giving me a chocolate pudding cup and a spoon as he sat down next to me.
“Thank you,” I said, taking it from him.
My dad came back outside and walked over to us, in the middle of the two yards. “Well isn’t that cute. Now, Jessica I am going to have to keep an eye on that little boy of yours, aren’t I?” he laughed jokingly. They all laughed actually. ‘That little boy’ and me just ate our pudding, oblivious to the world.
“I’m Riley, I’m four,” I told him.
He smiled at me. “I’m Josh, I’m five now” he said.
I frowned. I want to be five now.
“Daddy, when will I be five like Josh?” I asked him.
Daddy bent down and tapped his index finger on my nose. “Next week, Tinker Bell. Maybe your new friend here can come over for cake and ice cream. We’d love to have your whole family actually, Jessica.” He told Josh’s mommy.
“Can I go? Mommy, please?” Josh asked his mommy.
“Sure, sweetie. I will let y’all get back to unpacking. If you want, Riley can come over and play with Joshua for a little bit, so she isn’t in your way. Would that be alright?” she asked my parents.
“Can I go Mommy, Daddy, please?” I begged then.
They both agreed, and Josh held my hand the whole way to his house, which is next door to my new house now.
On my birthday, my new friend Josh and his parents came over to eat cake and ice cream with us. I like Josh. He’s fun to play with. He doesn’t make fun of me for wearing my Tinker Bell costume all the time like Shannon used to do. He would say I’m cute and he called me Tink. It’s a little strange being best friends with a boy now. He doesn’t play dress up with me, and he wants me to play boy stuff with him, but I like him. So, I do what he wants. Plus, he has this little guitar, and he strums it for me, and I like to sing, so I make up songs for him. We call it our music. Josh is the best.
“Mommy let me pick out your present, Tink,” he told me smiling.
His mommy laughed and ruffled his hair. “Yes, I did. But I also picked out a present for you that I think you will like
.” She said sweetly. Josh’s mommy was nice.
I opened both. Josh bought me a lime green hot wheel car. “It’s the color of that dress you like, the one you wear all the time.” He said. I smile. I don’t want a hot wheel car, but Josh got it for me, so I will keep it forever and always. Mrs. Jessica bought me a Barbie doll dressed in a Tinker Bell costume like me. It made me smile real big.
I had a Barbie doll like this one in my old house, but I gave it to Ms. Linda when she moved out, when I told her she could have another Tinker Bell to watch. She told me she was crying happy tears. I hadn’t thought about Ms. Linda that much lately. I missed her, though.
“Look, daddy. It’s like my Barbie I gave Ms. Linda.” I told my daddy, his face fell. “Wow, Tinker Bell. That’s so great.”
“Who is Ms. Linda?” Josh asked me.
I smiled big. “She’s daddy’s friend, but she didn’t want to stay with us anymore. Daddy made her cry.” I said, and Mommy dropped her glass on the floor spilling punch everywhere.
“Oh dear, I made a mess. Evan grab the paper towels. NOW!” Mommy snapped at Daddy.
“Why did he make her cry?” Josh asked me.
I was going to tell him but his mommy scooped him up nervously. “Joshua, it’s time to go home now. Right, honey?” she said, giving Josh’s daddy a certain look.
“Right, right. Thank you so much for having us over guys. We’ll see you later.” He said and they left in a hurry. I wondered why?
After Mommy cleaned up the punch, she came to sit by me at the table.
“Honey, she is only four. Why are you getting so upset?” he asked with a crack in his voice.
“I’m not four, Daddy. I am five now.” I said holding up five fingers.
“Yes, you are sweetie.” My mommy said, “Now, tell me...how did Daddy make Ms. Linda cry?” she asked and my daddy said…“Shit!”
“Daddy that’s a bad word.” I corrected.
“You are right, sorry.” He apologized.
“Riley, did something happen with Daddy and Ms. Linda that mommy needs to know about? You’re not in trouble, okay?” she picked me up in her lap.
Daddy was facing the counter, his hands grabbed the edge, and his head was down. “I don’t know. I think it’s my fault.” I said.
Mommy and Daddy both said, “What?”
“Well, I had a bad dream, and Daddy and Ms. Linda were playing dress up. But Ms. Linda didn’t do it right, it was messy.”
Daddy looked confused and Mommy asked, “Do what right?”
“The lipstick. It goes on your mouth like this,” I moved my finger along my lips. “Daddy had it everywhere, and that’s messy, but he’s a boy, and boys don’t wear makeup. Right, Mommy?” I said.
Mommy gave my daddy and angry face, but looked back at me smiling. “Did Daddy do anything else not right, Riley?”
I nodded, “Yes. You said friends don’t kiss each other. Only mommies and daddies can kiss each other.”
My mom cleared her throat and my dad made a loud banging sound on the counter that made me jump. “But it’s a secret Mommy. You can’t tell, cuz telling secrets isn’t nice. You told me that. I don’t want to be in trouble.” I said.
“Oh.my.God!” My mommy said in a low voice that scared me a little. She stood with me on her hip and looked directly at my daddy. His face was grim.
“Riley, you are not in trouble, but Mommy is going to put you to bed a little early tonight. Okay? I promise, if you stay there like a good girl, I will take you somewhere special tomorrow. Now tell Daddy, goodnight.” She said and put me down.
I ran over to my daddy and he looked down at me with sad eyes. He picked me up and squeezed me tight.
“I love you, Daddy.” I said after I kissed his cheek.
“I love you, Riley” he kissed my forehead and put me down.
He didn’t call me his little, Tinker Bell.
Why didn’t he call me his little, Tinker Bell?
The next day Mommy and Daddy didn’t talk to each other much. Mommy kept rubbing her belly and crying, and Daddy left the house with a suitcase. He told me he loved me and that he had to go on a trip for work, but he would bring me back something shiny and pretty.
Daddy’s trip for work was a long one. It had been twelve days to be exact. My Nana came to stay with us. She said some ‘not nice’ things about my daddy, and she bugged me. Today, she kept trying to get me to put on this big poufy yellow dress with flowers on it, and I didn’t want to. I liked my Tinker Bell dress.
“Riley, bless your princess heart. You are not going to be able to wear that costume of yours to school, dear. Why don’t you go try on the dress Nana bought you from Dillard’s? She asked for like the third time that day.
I twirled in a circle in the living room, “No, thank you, Nana. Maybe, tomorrow.”
She blew out a puff of air from her mouth, stood from the couch and placed her manicured hands on her hips. “Claudia, you are going to have to break her from that dress eventually. She can’t wear that to school. You know that.”
My mommy sighed, “Yes, Mother I know. But right now, things are bad enough, and I don’t need to do it at this very moment. Just let it go...for now, please.” She snapped.
“Riley, Mrs. Jessica invited you to go to the park with her and Joshua. Would you like to do that?” she asked me.
“Yes. Yay!” I jumped up and down clapping.
“Okay. Well, let’s not wear your costume to the park. It will get dirty. Can you put on your romper, please?” My mommy gave Nana a knowing look.
“Or your pretty yellow dress?” Nana asked.
“Oh my God. Mother, drop it. She doesn’t want to wear the damn yellow dress. Leave.her.alone.” she yelled, and my Nana’s mouth opened wide like a circle.
“Go change, Riley.” Mommy told me.
I nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” And I ran to my room to change into my romper, not the giant yellow dress. I liked fairies, not Big Bird.
At the park, Josh held my hand as we played and ran around. Shannon used to tell me, ‘boys are yucky, and they have germs’. I didn’t think so. Josh wasn’t yucky, and he was my bestest friend. If he had germs, then I liked them.
The park was by the lake. They have a swing by this big tree. It was my favorite spot. I’d claimed it as mine. There was also a pier to the lack that you could walk out to. That was Josh’s favorite. He liked to scare the ducks and I liked to feed them bread.
“Hey, Tink. You want to race?” he asked me.
I nodded and he smiled at him. “Okay, on your mark, get set, go…” I said, and we run as fast as we could.
I was laughing until I tripped on my flip-flop and fell down, scraping my knee. “Owee, Josh it hurts.” I cried.
“Oh no, let me see.” Mrs. Jessica said sweetly, checking my scraped knee.
It was stinging, and it had a small trickle of red that made me cry worse when I saw it.
“I’m sorry, Tink. Mommy, let me take care of her. She is my best friend.” Josh said kneeling down by me.
“Ok son, I’m gonna go in the bathroom right there and wet a paper towel to clean your knee. Ok?” She ruffled his hair and stepped away from us briefly.
“It hurts, Josh.” I sniffled.
He leaned down and kissed my boo-boo softly. “There. I kissed it better. Does it hurt still?” he wiped my tears away with the bottom of his shirt.
I shook my head. Kisses always made things better. “Not anymore. Thank you, Josh. You’re my bestest friend. I love you.” I kissed his cheek.
He grinned with a dimple and kissed my forehead. “I love you too, Tink.” I loved kisses on the forehead.
Kindergarten was so much fun. Josh was in my class, which our mommy’s said was probably not the best idea. I got lucky, though. I think it’s great. Mrs. Mathis was our teacher. She was really nice, and we had a pet fish in our class. I don’t know if she was a boy or a girl. She was a beta fish with pretty colors, and every day the line leader was allowed to feed her. Her
name was Guppy. Or his name? I didn’t know.
My mommy and Josh’s mommy walked us to and from school every day. Josh always held my hand. My mommy said he’s my little boyfriend. Mrs. Jessica said that was fine by her, because I’m sweet. He was my boyfriend. Whatever, that means.
Today at recess, this mean boy named Dean pulled my hair and pushed me down. “Ouch. That’s, mean Dean. I don’t like you.” I yelled.
He laughed, “Well, you’re mean, and I don’t like you either.”
I stuck my tongue out at him.
“She is not mean, and you don’t do that ever again.” Josh said pushing Dean.
“Okay, okay. Now break it up.” Mrs. Mathis said standing next to us.
“Now, Dean. Why did you just do that to Riley? That wasn’t very nice.” She scolded him.
He pouted, “cuz, she doesn’t like me. She only likes Joshua.” He folded his hands across his chest.
Mrs. Mathis nodded her head at his response, grinned and looked toward me. “Riley, sometimes boys don’t know how to talk about how they feel. So you see, when boys like you they sometimes pick on you, or do mean things.” She looked at Dean disapprovingly when she said, ‘mean’ and he frowned.
“Well, do you like Riley, Dean?” she asked him.
He nodded and then shook his head back and forth. “Not really, she smells like strawberries.”
“I do not!” I shouted.
“Do to!” he shouted.
“Enough!” Mrs. Mathis frowned. Josh grabbed my hand, interlacing our fingers as always. He was giving Dean some pretty mean looks.
“I like strawberries.” Dean said in a little voice.
“I am not a strawberry.” I frowned at him.
“So what? You smell like one. Joshua says so, too. Hmpf.” He crossed his arms and turned around.
“Josh, did you say that about me?” I whine looking at my best friend.
“Well, yes. But I like it. You smell good, Tink. It’s like a strawberry.” He smiled. If Josh liked it, then I liked it.
“See, Riley Shaw. You smell like a strawberry, and you look like one too.” Dean was so mean. I didn't like him, not one bit.
Escape the Doubt Page 22
