Theodora averted her eyes, blinded by tears. "If they're lucky," she said huskily.
"I didn't know," he said unsteadily, unconsciously repeating the very words Miranda had said to him the night before. "I never loved...until now."
Theodora couldn't find the words. She turned, finding an equal emotion in Harden's face. She stood there, small and defenseless, and something burst inside him.
He held out his arms. Theodora went into them, crying her heart out against his broad chest, washing away all the bitterness and pain and hurt. She felt something wet against her cheek, where his face rested, and around them the wind blew.
"Mother," he said huskily.
Her thin arms tightened, and she smiled, thanking God for miracles.
Later, they sat on the front porch and she told him about his father, bringing out a long-hidden album that contained the only precious photographs she had.
"He looks like me," Harden mused, seeing his own face reflected in what, in the photograph, was a much younger one.
"He was like you," she replied. "Brave and loyal and loving. He never shirked his duty, and I loved him with all my heart. I still do. I always will."
"Did your husband know how you felt?"
"Oh, yes," she said simply. "I was too honest to pretend. But he loved children, you see, and my pregnancy brought out all his protective instincts. He loved me the way I loved Barry," she added sadly. "I gave him all I could, and hoped that it would be enough." She brushed at a tear. "He loved you, you know. Even though you weren't blood kin to him, he was crazy about you from the day you were born."
He smiled. "Yes. I remember." He frowned as he looked at his mother. “I’m sorry. I'm so damned sorry."
“You had to find your way," she said.“It took a long time, and you had plenty of sorrow along the way. I knew what you were going through in school, with the other children throwing the facts of your birth up to you. But if I had interfered, I would have made it worse, don't you see? You had to learn to cope. Experience is always the best teacher."
"Even if it doesn't seem so at the time. Yes, I know that now."
"About Anita..."
He took her thin, wrinkled hand in his and held it tightly. "Anita's people would never have let us marry. But even now, I can't really be sure that it was me she wanted, or just someone her parents didn't approve of. She was very young, and high-strung, and her mother died in an asylum. Evan said that if God wants someone to live, they will, despite the odds. I don't know why I never realized that until now."
She smiled gently. "I think Miranda's opened your eyes to a lot of things."
He nodded. "She won't ever forget her husband, or the child she lost. That's a good thing. Our experiences make us the people we are. But the past is just that. She and I will make our own happiness. And there'll be other babies. A lot of them, I hope."
"Oh, that reminds me! Jo Ann's pregnant!"
"Maybe it's the water," Harden said, and smiled at her.
She laughed. The smile faded and her eyes were eloquent. "I love you very much."
"I...love you," he said stiffly. He'd said it more in two days than he'd said it in his life. Probably it would get easier as he went along. Theodora didn't seem to mind, though. She just beamed and after a minute, she turned the page in the old album and started relating other stories about Harden's father.
It was late afternoon before Miranda came downstairs, and Evan was trying not to smile as she walked gingerly into the living room where he and Harden were discussing a new land purchase.
"Go ahead, laugh," she dared Evan. "It's all your fault!"
Evan did laugh. "I can't believe that's a complaint, judging by the disgustingly smug look on your husband's face," he mused.
She shook her head, as bright as a new penny as she went into Harden's arms and pressed close.
"No complaints at all," Harden said, sighing. He closed his eyes and laid his cheek against her dark hair. "I just hope I won't die of happiness."
“People have," Evan murmured. But his eyes were sad as he turned away from them. "Well, I'd better get busy. I should be back in time for supper, if this doesn't run late."
“Give Anna my love," Harden replied.
Evan grimaced. "Anna is precocious," he muttered. "Too forward and too outspoken by far for a nineteen-year-old."
"Most of my friends were married by that age," Miranda volunteered.
Evan looked uncomfortable and almost haunted for a minute. "She doesn't even need to be there," he said shortly. "Her mother and I can discuss a land deal without her."
"Is her mother pretty?" Miranda asked. "Maybe she's chaperoning you."
"Her mother is fifty and as thin as a rail," he replied. "Hardly my type."
"What does Anna look like?" Miranda asked, curious now.
"She's voluptuous, to coin a phrase," Harden answered for his taciturn brother. "Blonde and blue-eyed and tall. She's been swimming around Evan for four years, but he won't even give her a look. He's thirty-four, you know. Much too old for a mere child of nineteen."
"That's damned right," he told Harden forcibly. "A man doesn't rob cradles. My God, I've known her since she was a child." He frowned. "Which she still is, of course," he added quickly.
"Go ahead, convince yourself," Harden nodded.
"I don't have to do any convincing!"
"Have a good time."
"I'm going to be discussing land prices," he said, glaring at Harden.
"I used to enjoy that," Harden said, shrugging. "You might, too."
"That will be the day. I..."
"Harden, want a chocolate cake for supper?" Theodora called from the doorway, smiling.
Harden drew Miranda closer and smiled back. "Love one, if it's not too much trouble."
"No trouble at all," she said gently.
"Mother!" he called when she turned, and Evan's eyes popped.
"What?" Theodora asked pleasantly.
"Butter icing?"
She laughed. "That's just what I had in mind!"
Evan's jaw was even with his collar. "My God!" he exclaimed.
Harden looked at him. "Something wrong?"
"You called her Mother!"
"Of course I did, Evan, she's my mother," he replied.
"You've never called her anything except Theodora," Evan explained. "And you smiled at her. You even made sure she wouldn't be put to any extra work making you a cake." He looked at Miranda. "Maybe he's sick."
Miranda looked up at him shyly and blushed. "No, I don't think so."
"I'd have to be weak if I were sick," he explained to Evan, and Miranda made an embarrassed sound and hid her face against his shoulder.
Evan shook his head. "Miracles," he said absently. He shrugged, smiling, and turned toward the door, reaching for his hat as he walked through the hall. "I'll be back by supper."
"Anna's a great cook," Harden reminded him. "You might get invited for supper."
"I won't accept. I told you, damn it, she's too young for me!"
He went out, slamming the door behind him.
Harden led Miranda out the front door and onto the porch, to share the swing with him. "Anna wants to love him, but he won't let her," he explained.
"Why?"
"I'll tell you one dark night," he promised. "But for now, we've got other things to think about. Haven't we?" he added softly.
"Oh, yes." She caught her breath just before he took it away, and she smiled under his hungry kiss.
The harsh memories of the wreck that had almost destroyed Miranda's life faded day by wonderful day, as Miranda and Harden grew closer. Theodora was drawn into the circle of their happiness and the new relationship she enjoyed with Harden lasted even when the newlyweds moved into their own house.
But Miranda's joy was complete weeks later, when she fainted at a family gathering and a white-faced Harden carried her hotfoot to the doctor.
"Nothing to worry about," Dr. Barnes assured them with a grin, after a cursory ex
amination and a few pointed questions. "Nothing at all. A small growth that will come out all by itself—in just about seven months."
They didn't understand at first. And when they did, Miranda could have sworn that Harden's eyes were watery as he hugged her half to death in the doctor's office.
For Miranda, the circle was complete. The old life was a sad memory, and now there was a future of brightness and warmth to look forward to in a family circle that closed around her like gentle arms. She had, she considered as she looked up at her handsome husband, the whole world right here beside her.
Evan (08-1991)
To my very special friend Suzanne Hewstone
Chapter One
It wasn't that he minded the dinner so much, or the business talk that followed it. What bothered Evan Tremayne was the way Anna sat and watched him.
She was nineteen, blond, buxom and blue-eyed, a statuesque young woman with long tanned legs that looked incredible in shorts. Evan had tried for the past year not to notice her, despite the fact that he and her mother did a lot of business together. At thirty-four, he was the eldest of four brothers, and he had almost total responsibility for their mother. The family business was mostly under his control and his life was one long tangle of cattle, personnel problems and financial headaches. Anna was the last damned straw.
Especially, he thought, in that pale blue dress that showed too much of her golden tan and her full breasts. Surely her mother should have said something about that. He wondered if Polly Cochran noticed how fast her daughter was growing up. Polly was never home, though. She seemed always to be busy with some new facet of her real estate business. Anna's father was an airline pilot, but he and Polly had separated years ago. He lived in Atlanta, Georgia, while they lived in Texas. In fact, Anna had been given most of her upbringing by Lori, the family housekeeper. Nobody seemed to have had much time for her.
Polly had excused herself to take a phone call, and Evan was left uncomfortably alone with Anna.
"Why have you been glowering at me for the past ten minutes?" Anna asked softly. Her blond hair was piled on top of her head, and she looked sophisticated and very mature for a change.
"Because that dress shows too much of you,'* Evan replied with customary bluntness. His dark eyes glanced from her face to the swell of her breasts. "Polly shouldn't have bought it for you."
"She didn't," Anna said with a grin. "It's one of hers. I borrowed it when she wasn't looking. She hasn't even noticed that I'm wearing it. You know how unobservant she is. Everything with Mama is business."
"Your mother's dresses are too old for you," he replied, softening the words a little with a smile. He tended to be more abrasive with Anna than with anyone else in his life because of his unwanted attraction to her. "You should wear something more appropriate for your own age."
She took a slow breath and her eyes gently worshiped him before they dropped to the table. "Do I really seem so young to you, Evan?"
"I'm thirty-four, little one," he said, his voice deep and slow in the silence of the dining room. "Yes, you seem young."
Her blue eyes settled on her folded hands. "Mama's giving a party Friday night to celebrate the opening of that new mall in Jacobsville that she sold the property for," she said. "Are you coming?"
"Harden and Miranda might," he murmured. "I stay busy."
She looked up, her eyes searching his dark, broad face relentlessly. "You could dance one dance with me. It wouldn't kill you."
"Wouldn't it?" he asked with graveyard humor. He touched his linen napkin to his wide, chiseled mouth and laid it down beside his plate. He got to his feet, towering over her. He was a giant of a man, all muscle and streamlined, from the broad wedge of his chest to his narrow hips and long, powerful legs. "I have to go."
She stood up. "Not yet," she pleaded.
"I've got things to do," he said.
"No, you haven't," she said, pouting. "You just don't want to be alone with me. What are you afraid of, Evan, that I'll assault you on the table?"
He lifted an eyebrow over twinkling brown eyes. "And get mashed potatoes all over my back?"
She let out an irritated breath. "You won't take me seriously."
"I wouldn't dare," he said, fending her off with the ease of years of practice. 'Tell Polly I'll see her tomorrow at the office."
"I could be dying of love for you," she said quietly. "And you don't even care that you're breaking my heart."
He grinned. "Hearts don't break, especially at your age."
"Yes, they do." Her eyes ran up and down his big body, lingering on his broad chest. "You might at least kiss me goodbye."
"Let Randall do that," he replied. "He's still at the experimenting age, like you."
"And you're over the hill, I guess?"
He chuckled. "Feels like it sometimes," he confessed. "Good night, little girl."
She colored delicately, which heightened the blue of her eyes. "I'm not a child!"
"You are to me." He picked up his Stetson from the sideboard without looking at her. "Give my apologies to your mother. I can't wait for her. Thanks for dinner."
Before she could come up with a reply, he was out the door and gone, without even seeming to hurry.
The hell of it was that he was fiercely attracted to her. In fact he could probably fall head over heels in love with her. But she was much too young for a serious relationship. At her age she was likely to fall in and out of love weekly. Besides, she was almost certainly a virgin. Evan was six-four and weighed over two hundred and thirty pounds. A brief love affair had ended in near tragedy because, in his desire for the woman he loved—an innocent woman, like Anna—he hadn't been able to control his great strength. Louisa had run from him, terrified. It had scarred him, made him hopelessly wary of innocents like Anna. His size had been a sore spot with him ever since childhood, when he was forever coming to the defense of his three brothers. He'd always had to pull his punches. He'd even put a man in the hospital once when he'd underestimated his strength. The risk with a sheltered girl like Anna was just too great. No, he couldn't afford another episode like that, he couldn't take the chance. Better to stick to experienced women who weren't afraid of him.
Back at the brick mansion, Anna was raging over the things Evan had said. He was treating her like a teen with a crush, when she was dying of unrequited love for him!
"Where's Evan?" her mother asked, pausing in the doorway. She was tall and thin and fiftyish, dark, where Anna was fair like her father.
"He left," Anna said curtly. "He was afraid I might bend him over the table and seduce him in the green beans and mashed potatoes."
"What?" Polly asked, laughing.
"He's afraid to be alone with me," Anna muttered. "I suppose he thinks I'll get him pregnant"
"Child, do watch your language," Polly chided. "Never mind Evan. You've already got a beau, much closer to your own age."
Anna sighed. "Good old Randall," she mused. "With the wandering eyes. I like him a lot, but he flirts with every woman he sees. I can't believe he's serious about me."
"He's only in his twenties," Polly said. "Plenty of time to get serious when you're older. Marriage is for the birds, honey."
Anna glared at her. "Just because you and Daddy weren't happy together doesn't mean that I can't have a good marriage."
Polly's eyes darkened and she turned away to light a cigarette, ignoring Anna's disapproving glance as she reached for an ashtray. "Your father and I were very happy at first," her mother corrected. "Then he started flying overseas routes and I got into the real estate business. We never saw each other." She shrugged. "Just one of those things."
"Do you still love him?"
The older woman cocked a perfect dark eyebrow. "Love is a myth."
"Oh, Mama," Anna sighed.
Polly just laughed. "Dream your dreams, child. I'll settle for CDs in the bank and plenty of stocks and bonds in my safety deposit box. Where did you get that dress?"
&n
bsp; The younger woman grinned. "It's yours."
Her mother gave her a mock glare. "How many times have I told you to stay out of my closet?"
"Only twenty. You won't buy me anything this sexy."
"I suppose you wore it to tempt Evan," Polly mused. "Well, you might as well give up. Evan's too old for you, and he knows it, even if you don't. Go and change. I'll treat you to a movie."
"Okay."
It was nice to have a mother who was also a good friend, Anna thought as she complied with the request. But nobody seemed inclined to take her feelings for Evan seriously. Especially Evan himself.
Sometimes Anna thought it would be nice if she had a job that would put her in constant contact with Evan. But she couldn't work cattle and she knew nothing about bookkeeping or finance. The best she'd been able to manage was secretarial work at her mother's real estate office. That did bring her into fairly frequent contact with Evan, because the Tre-mayne brothers were always looking for investment properties. Since Evan was the eldest and headed the company, he was the one her mother saw most frequently. That meant Anna got to see him. She was working on the premise of water dripping on stone. If he was around her enough, he might notice her more.
There were, of course, better ways than just sitting around hoping. Anna had the pursuit of Evan down to a science. She could wrangle invitations to parties he'd attend, she found ways to track him down at lunch and accidentally run into him. She occasionally waylaid him at the post office or the feed store. Most people found her relentless chase amusing, but more and more she sensed that it was affecting Evan. If only he'd just look at her!
It was a well-known fact that Evan hated alcohol. He had an intense aversion to it for reasons nobody understood. So all Anna had to do to attract his interest at her mother's office the next day was to sit two bottles of unopened whiskey on her desk before he was due at the realty company.
He stopped dead when he saw them, his dark brows knitting over deep-set brown eyes shaded by the brim of the Stetson pulled low over his forehead.
Books By Diana Palmer Page 68
