He laughed softly. "Yes. You bit me, didn't you?"
"Very hard," she whispered shakily. "I didn't know it was going to feel like that, or that you'd do what you did to me." She dug her fingers into the thick hair that covered his chest. "I thought I might faint when you started rubbing your chest against me."
"There are times when I'm not sorry about this thicket," he admitted against her lips. "You were very, very aroused."
"I still am," she said softly. "I wish we could make love."
"So do I. But we can't, like this."
"You could undress," she suggested half-humorously.
"You don't understand." He moved to her side and stretched a little jerkily, pulling her down against him with her cheek pillowed on his chest. "What we're doing is something that belongs in the confines of marriage." He searched her eyes quietly while his fingers gentled on her breast. "If I give you a baby, it's going to be after we're married, not before."
She didn't think she could have heard him properly. "You don't want to get married," she faltered.
"Oh, but I do," he said doggedly. He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed it slowly, hotly. "I'll take the chance, if you will. Say yes, Anna," he breathed.
"Yes!" The word burst from her like a rainbow of sound and Evan took a long breath and damned the consequences.
"No long engagement, either," he whispered. "We'll get the license tomorrow."
"So soon?" she gasped.
"I can't bear to be away from you for five minutes lately," he said, his eyes glittering with barely leashed passion. "I want you with me all the time, day and night. I want you under me in bed, Anna," he whispered sensually, nibbling her lower lip while he played with her lips and stroked her breast. "I want your naked body writhing under the hardness of mine...!"
She met his mouth halfway, her body turning, accepting the crush of his, begging for more. It was all he could do to get away from her. He rolled away and got to his feet, keeping his back to her until he could stop shuddering. He reached for a cigarette, but they were in the shirt he didn't remember discarding. He reached down and retrieved it from the floor, along with her blouse and bra.
Anna was sitting up, breathing raggedly, and his eyes went pointedly to the thrust of her pretty breasts.
"Exquisite," he whispered breathlessly. "I could look at you like that for the rest of my life. But in the interests of your chastity, I think you'd better cover them up. Quick."
He tossed her garments to her, watching her flush and jerk trying to get them back on again.
The droll humor soothed her embarrassment. She was a little shy of him now. He seemed to sense it, because he pulled her up from the bed and held her gently. "You still don't know exactly what you could be letting yourself in for. I was in control most of the time today. But when I lose control, and eventually I will, you might not like what happens."
"I'm still trying to figure out what it is that I'm supposed to be so afraid of."
"I'm oversized," he said quietly. "I've always had to pull my punches, ever since I was a boy. Even now..." He broke off. "I keep remembering Louisa," he admitted finally, and he winced.
This, she thought, was going to take time and patience. But if she was careful, maybe she could heal those scars. "I'm not fragile," she said, her voice soft and hesitant. "I want you as much as you want me. And I love you."
His hand touched her lips with exquisite tenderness. "You make all my worst fears sound ridiculous."
"They are," she replied. She closed her eyes while he kissed her with something like reverence. "Are you going to stay with me?"
He laughed softly. "How can I stay away?" he countered. "There aren't that many women in Ja-cobsville who worship the ground I walk on."
She glared at him. "Go ahead, rub it in."
"I wasn't. I feel pretty arrogant and smug right now, if you want to know." He nibbled at her mouth. "Now let's sit down, in the living room," he emphasized, "and watch some movies, before we end up in bed again."
"We will, eventually," she said doggedly.
He sighed. "Eventually," he agreed. "First I have to work up the nerve," he said under his breath. He brushed a careless kiss against her forehead and, minutes later, started the VCR in the living room. Evan settled her in the curve of his arm and wondered quietly how he was going to go on living if she ever turned away from him out of fear.
Chapter Ten
Evan wasn't wasting much time arranging the wedding, Anna discovered the next morning, when he came to pick her up to apply for the license. They'd told Polly and Duke the day before and decided to wait overnight before they started the paper work, but nobody was surprised by the news. The other couple only grinned.
Anna was as close to heaven as she'd been in her life. Evan was openly affectionate now, kissing her when he came into the house, wrapping her up against him when they walked. If he didn't care about her, he was certainly a good actor.
After they applied for the license and had a blood test, Evan took her out to lunch at a restaurant downtown.
"You aren't eating much," he observed when she barely touched her roast beef.
She looked up at him, her eyes soft and loving. "I'm still in shock," she confessed. "I can hardly believe it, even now."
His dark eyes slid over her face possessively. "I'd never thought about marriage before," he confessed. "Not seriously, at least, even if I did lip service to the idea of wanting a home and a family."
"You used to say that they all trampled you trying to get to Harden," she recalled with a smile.
His big shoulders rose and fell. "In a way, it was true. Harden hated women, so naturally they all loved him. Especially Miranda, fortunately for him," he added with a grin.
"I used to think that if Harden could get married, anybody could," she admitted. "He was a real woman hater."
"No less than Connal, until Pepi came up on his blind side," he agreed. He caught her hand in his and turned it over, stroking her ring finger absently. "I haven't even bought you a ring," he remarked.
The license and the blood test had convinced her that he was serious, but the mention of a ring made her heart beat faster. That was commitment.
She looked up into his eyes with pure joy.
"Do you want a diamond, Anna?" he asked gently.
"I'm not sure..."
"Don't, for God's sake, tell me you want an emerald," he said, his dark eyes flashing. "I won't buy you one."
He sounded viciously jealous of the emerald Randall had given her. She had to hide a smile. "No, I don't want an emerald," she admitted. "I don't suppose colored stones are a very good investment, are they?"
He scowled. "Honey, I'm not buying it for an investment," he said gently. "This isn't a business deal."
"I'm sorry." She couldn't very well tell him that she didn't understand why he was marrying her. She was sure that he cared, a little. It was just that she wanted him to be in love, as she was. He was attentive and kind and even affectionate, but she wasn't sure of him.
What she didn't know was that he hadn't abandoned his fears. He was going ahead with the wedding despite them, mostly out of worry that she might go back to Randall. He was taking a terrible chance on her age and innocence, despite her confession of undying love.
She sensed his reservations. Nina still bothered her. That old flame had turned into a raging fire just before Anna was attacked. How could she be sure that Evan didn't feel something for Nina? How could she be sure that he wasn't marrying her out of pity and guilt and helpless desire?
She sipped her coffee absently, her eyes avoiding his.
In answer to all her unspoken worries, Nina walked in the door of the restaurant, alone, and spotted Evan.
He saw the woman coming and cursed viciously to himself. His manners outweighed his anger, so he pushed back his chair and stood up, but his eyes weren't welcoming.
"Well, hello," Nina gushed. She went up to Evan and blatantly kissed
him, despite his obvious reticence. "How are you, darling? I haven't seen you for ages! What have you been doing?"
"Getting engaged," he said flatly. "Anna and I are going to be married."
Nina actually froze. She didn't move or speak for a long moment, and then she laughed harshly. "You're marrying Anna? After all the time you spent running from her? Well, well, what did you do, Evan, get her pregnant?"
"That's enough," Evan said coldly.
Nina stared at Anna with pure hatred in her eyes. "You aren't stupid enough to think he loves you? All he's capable of is wanting! I should know!" She was almost shaking with rage, and attracting the attention of half a dozen other diners as well. "I gave him everything I had, and I couldn't hold him!"
"Nina, stop it," Evan said quietly. "You're making a spectacle of yourself."
Her lower lip trembled as she stared at him. Despite her embarrassment, Anna felt a terrible sympathy for her. Nina had been in love with Evan. It was painfully obvious.
"Just my luck...to be the wrong kind of woman to get you to the altar," Nina sobbed at Evan. "Everybody said experience appealed to you, but it wasn't true, was it? You're robbing the cradle at that...!"
She whirled suddenly and ran out of the restaurant, still crying.
Evan sat back down heavily. "I'm sorry about that," he told Anna, his voice strained but tender.
"She loved you," Anna said softly.
“Yes," he agreed. "But I didn't love her. You can't force yourself to care about somebody, Anna. That's life."
She knew that. She looked at Evan with horror. She was marrying him, and he didn't love her any more than he loved Nina. What kind of relationship could they build on a one-sided attraction? Eventually even desire would wane, and what would be left?
Evan cursed roundly when he got a good look at her face. He helped her up and went to pay the check, ignoring the curious stares of the other patrons. Nina had destroyed Anna's radiant mood, and his own. He'd thought the woman realized when he didn't call that he was no longer interested. It was his own fault. He'd used her to keep Anna at bay and she'd misunderstood his continuing attention. He should have had a long talk with her, but Anna's situation had claimed all his faculties.
He escorted Anna back to the car, his whole demeanor quiet and preoccupied.
"I think we'll wait and get the rings in the morning, if you don't mind," he told her when he pulled up in front of her house. "I have some things to take care of."
"It's all right with me," Anna replied. "The day's been rather spoiled anyway."
He cut off the engine and turned toward her. He winced at her bleak expression. "I'm sorry," he said huskily.
"You can't help it that women fall all over themselves trying to get to you." She laughed bitterly. "After all, I'm one of them, aren't I?"
"No," he said flatly. "You're not one in a crowd. I've asked you to marry me, Anna, not to spend a few feverish hours in bed with me!"
"I do realize what a great honor you're doing me." She looked at him with something approximating panic. "What kind of life will we have, falling all over your discarded lovers every time we go out to eat? Evan, I don't want this," she said wildly. "I can't marry you...!"
His hand shot out and caught her arm, dragging her over against him so that her head fell back against his shoulder.
"No, you don't," he said huskily. "You're not backing out."
"Yes, I—!"
He stopped the frantic words with his mouth. She fought him, but only for a few seconds. The heat and mastery of his mouth slowly began to weaken her struggles. She couldn't resist him. Her lips parted and her arms went up and around his neck, as she gave him back the long, slow kiss. Her pulses began to throb with the sweetness of being in his arms.
"You aren't playing fair," she whispered, shaken, when he finally lifted his head.
"I'm not playing, period," he replied, his dark eyes piercing, steady on hers. "Nina knew the score from the very beginning. I made no promises, ever."
"You used her," she whispered miserably.
His face tautened. "Yes," he admitted curtly. "I did. At the time, I thought I was protecting you. I used her shamefully. She had every right to be upset about that, but she can't pretend that she didn't know what I was doing. She was willing."
Her lower lip trembled. "You slept with her!" she accused huskily.
"Years ago, if you have to know," he replied flatly. "Not since. Certainly not since she's been back in town. I told you before, I can't even get aroused by other women, least of all Nina!"
Her breasts rose and fell in a slow, heavy sigh. She let her cheek rest against him. She stared past him out the window. It was misting rain and cloudy. Like her life, she thought.
"Why do you want to marry me, Evan?" she asked finally.
He lifted his head, scowling. "What?"
"Why do you want to marry me?" she repeated. "Is it pity, or guilt, or desire, or a little of all three?"
"My God, you still don't trust me, do you?" he asked. He sounded almost defeated. "I can't blame you, but if you have so little faith in my motives, why are you willing to go through with it?"
She looked up at him. "Because I love you," she said simply.
He touched her loosened, disheveled hair. "You aren't sure of me," he replied. "If you loved me, wouldn't you be?"
Her eyes grew sad. "Not really. It's hard to be sure of someone when you don't know how they feel."
He let his eyes fall to her mouth. "How do you think I feel?" he hedged.
"I don't know. You've been very different since the accident," she replied. "Before, you made it clear how you felt about me, that you wanted me out of your life. Then I got hurt and all at once, you were willing to marry me."
"You make me sound fickle, Anna," he said, but he couldn't deny the truth of what she was insinuating.
"Not fickle. Just uncertain. You can't blame me for feeling the same way. You've never really told me what you felt."
And he couldn't. Not just yet. He still had too many misgivings, too many fears.
He touched her mouth lightly with his forefinger. "Will words convince you?" he asked quietly. "Somehow, I don't think so. You've got it fixed in your mind that I'm only sorry for you. Nothing I say is going to change that. You're just going to have to wait and see."
Fear flickered under her eyelashes. "You'd be tied to me, don't you see?" she asked gently. "You'd hate it!"
His mouth covered hers. He lifted her into a warmer, closer embrace, his lips driving every worry out of her mind. His hand slid inside her blouse, under the bra, with blatant mastery. She felt his fingers against her soft, bare flesh. She stiffened and gasped at the surge of pleasure it gave her.
His teeth caught at her lower lip, gently teasing it. "We're going to have the most unusual wedding night in history," he said with black humor. "It will probably be the first time that the groom has jitters."
She drew back a little. "Are you afraid to make love to me?" she asked hesitantly.
"Isn't it obvious?" he asked darkly. "My God, I've fought this. And in the end, I couldn't give you up, not even for your own good."
"Evan, it's not going to be that bad," she said, trying to reassure him. He looked...she couldn't quite decide how he looked. "I can see the doctor before we're married. If he thinks there's going to be any, well, any difficulty, he can take care of it for me."
His jaw tautened. "Your virginity isn't what concerns me."
"Then what?"
He drew in a rough breath and looked down at the bulge of his hand under her blouse. Absently his fingers caressed her, loving the softness of her skin. "Anna, I could hurt you so badly," he said huskily. "It might bring back terrible memories of the night you were attacked. And quite frankly, past a certain point, a man can't stop."
She reached up and nibbled at his mouth. "Then you'll have to make me crazy first, won't you?" she whispered. "Like you did...yesterday when you opened your shirt and h
eld me against you...Evan!"
His mouth bit into hers. She arched closer, her fingers pressing his intruding hand to her breast. For a few seconds, he actually seemed blind and deaf, his mouth devouring and sweet.
He groaned and pulled her across his lap, turning her so that her belly pressed against his hardness. He ground her into him, feeling her tremble.
"Yes," she whispered into his mouth. She moved deliberately, loving the feel of him, the raging arousal that she seemed to kindle in him so effortlessly.
His hand tangled painfully in her hair as his tongue drove into the softness of her mouth. His free hand, at the base of her spine, rocked her rhythmically against him, sending ripples of pure ecstasy through his rigid body.
He felt her soft trembling with wonder, felt her submission. His fingers went to her blouse and began to unfasten it. Thank God the yard was deserted and Polly's car was gone. They were totally alone.
He lifted his head long enough to get the blouse out of his way and unclasp her bra.
"Yes," she murmured. She sat up, impatiently helping him rid her of the unwanted fabric. But then her hands went to his own shirt and unfastened the pearly snaps.
"Anna..." he began, fighting for control.
"I want to feel you against me," she whispered hungrily. She linked her arms around his neck and brushed the tips of her breasts against his hair-roughened chest.
"Anna!" he groaned harshly.
She saw his face contort and recognized the rigid mask of pleasure.
"Is this how to do it?" she whispered, moving her torso even harder against his. "Teach me, Evan. Show me how to make love."
"My...God, you don't...need lessons!" he managed.
"Here," she said, tugging at his head as she arched back against his arm, her eyes half-closed. "Do...what you did to me yesterday. Do it hard!"
He was out of his mind. He barely realized it as his mouth settled helplessly on one dusky hard-tipped breast. He suckled at it, feeling her body ripple with pleasure as he fed on her softness. His fingers cupped her, caressed her while he discovered the hard tip with his tongue, his lips. And she lay there and let him, vibrating with pleasure, her soft sighs lost in the rough groans that burst from his mouth.
Books By Diana Palmer Page 81
