She rolled her eyes. “Seriously? Chase, you didn’t tell me she was squeamish,” she said, darting a pointed look at him.
“She’s not . . . are you, Annie?” He looked at me quizzically, as if sussing out whether I had the chops to go through with it.
I took a deep breath. A tattoo? Really?
“As long as there isn’t too much blood,” I said.
A triumphant smile spread across Chase’s face as the heat in his eyes deepened.
“It’s always less than people think,” Martinique said, as she fished around behind the large counter in the front. “Just make sure you lock up, Chase. I don’t want Marco crawling up my ass for letting you in here again.”
Chase broke eye contact with me and raised up his hands in a gesture of innocence. “You don’t even have to say it twice, Marty. We’ll be in and out.”
She scrunched her nose. “And be sure to clean up, too.” She gave me an abstruse look. “He can get kinda messy sometimes.”
I gulped, wondering who else Chase had brought back here to ink up. Had he also slept with Martinique? I didn’t want to care, but, based on their easy rapport, I knew it was quite possible.
Stop it, Annie! I told myself. I knew I had no right to be jealous, but, considering I was about to do something pretty much irreversible that would connect me to Chase forever, I felt like I had a right to wonder.
“You sure you’re eighteen?” Martinique asked, looking at me quizzically.
“Almost nineteen,” I said, somewhat annoyed by the question.
She nodded. “It’s not that I care—I got inked for the first time when I was sixteen—but they’re hard-asses about that around here, so I gotta be careful.” She almost sounded apologetic. “Chase is skilled, so you’re in good hands. I taught him myself.”
I looked at Chase, who was nodding. “It’s true—people don’t know me as a tattoo artist, but I learned the tricks of the trade from the master herself.”
Martinique stuck out her tongue. “Mistress to you! Nice to meet you, Annie. I’m out.” She waved and headed out the door.
I couldn’t help but feel irritated at the grin on Chase’s face. He noticed. Pulling me into an embrace, he kissed my forehead. “Hey, Goldilocks, don’t be like that. I’ve known Marty since we were in grade school. She’s like a sister to me.”
Of course that made me feel stupid and ashamed of my jealousy, but I tried not to show it. “Are we gonna do this thing now?”
He smiled and dragged me down a hall, turning into a small room. My heart rate quickened when I saw the tattoo chair, which reminded me of some kind of military torture device. I grabbed Chase’s arm reflexively.
“You are committed to making it in the art world.” It was more of a question than a statement.
I closed my eyes. “Yes.”
He ran his fingers through my hair. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking this is for anyone else, Annie. It’s not even for me. It’s for you. It’s a symbolic mark, something people around the world have done for millennia to express their endurance and commitment to something bigger than they are.”
I nodded, feeling myself fall under the sway of his beautiful voice. I thought of all the forces in my life that had threatened to keep me down, to tell me that I wasn’t smart enough, rich enough, pretty enough, or strong enough to make it. Those were voices that had begun speaking to me long before Elsie had entered my life. But I was determined. I wasn’t going to be silenced or deterred. Not this time.
A gleam of naughtiness entered my eyes as I said, “I don’t care where it goes, but leave my lower back out of it, okay? No tramp stamp for me.”
Chase laughed. “I was thinking it would be nice on your hip, kinda close to the pubic bone.” He grabbed my hips, which made me hold my breath in anticipation.
As he helped me down on the tattoo chair and proceeded to explain the entire process to me, I could barely hear him. As he picked up the needle and moved it toward me, his eyes locked on mine, adrenaline began to course through my veins.
“Remember, Annie, pain can be ecstasy, depending on how you take it in,” he said.
When the needle entered my flesh, tears came to my eyes. Chase had mentioned the process might be easier if I bit down on something, but I had refused. I wanted to feel every texture and nuance of the sensation. I’d never been a fan of intense pain, but there was something about this kind—and the fact that Chase was the one delivering it—that made it feel like it was several shades beyond mere physical discomfort. As Chase continued, I could feel the sensations shifting. They were still intense, but the intensity started to feel almost orgasmic. The stabbing claw of the needle in my skin sent electricity coursing through my veins, until my body felt like it was a massive network of spasmodic light.
Finally, it was over. Chase helped me stand. I felt somewhat dazed. He gazed deeply into my eyes, and for a moment I was spellbound.
“Can I see it now?” I asked, as the pain on the surface of my skin reminded me that I hadn’t imagined any of it after all.
“You trust me, right?” he responded, a smile playing over his lips.
“I already said I did,” I said, leaning into him.
He led me to the full-length mirror in the hallway, and I gasped at what I saw. Chase had tattooed me with his tag: a beautiful, iridescent triple moon embellished with what looked to be Celtic knots. But the knots, so intricate and delicate, were his alias: LunaBomber.
He had branded me. Claimed me. As his.
“Now you’re mine forever,” he whispered, standing behind me.
Our breathing got heavier as I turned my head to meet his, which lingered at my shoulder.
“This feels kind of . . . retrograde,” I said, trying to hide my arousal. “Like I’m cattle or something?”
That made him laugh. “Yup, my own special golden calf.”
I looked back in the mirror. It was so breathtaking that I wanted to run my fingers over the imprint, but Chase placed a bandage lightly over it instead.
“You don’t want to fuck with this for a little while. The aftercare is kind of a pain in the ass, but it won’t hurt in a couple days,” he said.
“It doesn’t hurt now,” I insisted. “I feel amazing.”
He brushed my cheeks with his fingertips. “I love how you take the darkness and alchemize it into something beautiful.”
“I don’t think I could do that without you,” I breathed.
He pulled my hair and gave me a full, deep kiss. I felt that familiar gravitational pull that sent me careening wildly into his arms. His hands were all over me—not gentle and considerate this time, but ripping fabric, clawing at flesh.
“Chase . . . are you sure . . . is this okay?” I said, looking around us. “Martinique—”
He growled, “Fuck Martinique! I want you right now, and nothing’s going to stop me.”
He flipped me over onto the tattoo table and peeled my jeans off. I mildly resisted. “But, Chase, what if someone comes in?” I felt utterly powerless, in the most delectable of ways. But I wanted Chase to overpower the last vestiges of my resistance. “I don’t want anyone to see us!” I attempted to push up against him, but he seized my hands and pulled them above my head. “I don’t think we should do this right now.”
“I think we both know you’re lying. You'd probably love it if some other guys came in...watched us, then took you,” he said.
Desire made my cheeks redden as I reached for Chase.
“I want you, Annie,” he whispered, as his teeth grazed my breasts. “I can’t stop thinking about you. About being in you.”
I could feel the need between my legs increasing. “Yes, Chase, whatever you want,” I found myself saying as I felt his body coming down on mine. His fingers grazed my nipples as he kissed me all over, and then his mouth was on me, devouring me. I screamed out loud as his tongue went over my most tender flesh, alternating between tracing lightly, excruciatingly lightly, and more deeply, and I thought I might d
rown in the tidal wave of bliss that came over me. The sensations became almost too much for me to bear, and I tried to push him away, but he held on tight, grasping me by the hips and pulling me into him.
“Please stop, Chase, please!” I moaned. And that was when my second orgasm crashed through me—it was almost violent, but nothing I could say or do would keep his relentless tongue from snaking over me. At that point, I seemed to have lost my entire will. As my legs contracted over his shoulders, he continued to force orgasm after orgasm from my exhausted body. I felt weak and spent under his command. I didn’t know how much more I could take, and that was when he rose above me easily and pushed himself into me. I could feel my legs spreading wider for him, wanting to accommodate all of him, to feel the torturous sensation of him diving into me, opening me in ways and places I could never have dreamed of.
“You are going to keep coming for me, Annie, until I say it’s over,” he murmured. “You don’t get to call the shots here—you already know that.”
It was crazy, but while my mind wanted to buck up against him, push him off me, I felt my body responding, thrilling at the sensation of his hands on my wrists. I had never been dominated before, and I’d never believed I’d actually get off on it, but there was something about Chase’s words, his touch, that made me want to simply surrender. I could feel his hips thrusting hard into me, and there was nothing I wanted to do to stop the liquid beauty of him inside me. He slowed down somewhat so I could relax a little, and I felt the slow rise of the flame between my legs as he churned luxuriously into me. I wrapped my legs around him as I felt yet another orgasm being torn from me. The juncture between our two bodies was everything. I couldn’t let him go. My ego seemed to disappear as he buried himself in me, over and over again.
That’s when I realized that he hadn’t slipped on a condom. “Chase,” I said weakly. “We can’t . . . we can’t . . .” I could barely finish my sentence. My breasts were jiggling from the sheer force of our lovemaking. I was exhausted.
He seemed to read my mind, because he pulled out easily, and in one swift movement, he was in my mouth. I swallowed him down, eager to please him as he had pleased me. His hands were on either side of my head, and I took him in, deeply and sweetly. I could feel his muscles tensing and his breath getting more and more shallow. “Fuck,” he gasped, and that was when I felt his elixir filling my mouth, pouring down my throat like the sweetest ambrosia. His body shuddered and I stayed there, just like that, milking him for every last drop of his desire.
Finally, he pulled away and I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I felt sated, full, incredible. Chase eased down on the chair next to me, and I scooted down to sit in his lap. I could feel his heart beating rapidly as I placed my head on his chest.
“That was epic,” he breathed.
I laughed happily. “Did that feel . . . good?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “I don’t know if you’re a demon or an angel, but I don’t really care either way. I’m officially addicted.”
“You were ready to share me with every Tom, Dick, and Harry outside!” I exclaimed.
He rolled his eyes. “That was just talk, Goldilocks. I don’t think I could bring myself to share you with anyone else.”
I felt both flattered and guilty. I’d never really talked about Harrison with Chase, and I was afraid of what he might do if he found out. In some ways, I felt like I was double-timing both of them. Chase seemed to feel my tension immediately. “What’s up, Annie? Penny for your thoughts?” he said, caressing my hair gently.
I winced. “Penny for your thoughts” was an expression that Harrison liked to use. My previously blissful mood quickly plummeted. I felt suddenly worn out.
“It’s just . . . I don’t want you to feel like you’re not free. I’m sort of . . . seeing someone now,” I explained. “I mean, it’s nothing like what you and I have. The other guy and me . . . we haven’t even had sex yet, and I was planning on breaking it off . . .” My voice trailed off. I was afraid to look at Chase. But he cupped my face in his hand and forced me to gaze into his eyes, which were clear and fierce.
“Listen, Annie, you’re a free woman. We’re both adults here, and what you do is your own business.” I couldn’t tell if he meant it or not, but his words made me feel somewhat alarmed.
“I know that, Chase. But the thing is, I’m breaking up with Harrison. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you. This happened so quickly, and I didn’t know if it was going anywhere or not. But I want it to. And I want you . . . so badly. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” I almost whimpered at the thought.
He looked down at me, and I could read pain in his eyes. “Babe, you won’t lose me. And even though I’m one of those guys who can get it whenever they want, trust me when I say it’s seldom worth the bother. What happened just now, right here . . . that’s not something I find very often. Most girls just lie there like they’re some kind of prize or something. I don’t think most of them even wanna fuck—they just do because they think they’ll get something out of it.” He sighed. “Too many chicks with daddy issues out there. But you? You’re different.” He cupped my breast with his hand as he looked at me. “I can feel your passion. I can feel how much you open up. And the way you surrender? Goddamn! It’s like I’m making love to a porn star or something . . . granted, one who’s generally soft-spoken and unassuming, but you have no idea how rare that is.”
If only Chase knew about my sad excuse for a sexual past. Would he still feel the same way? My entire body felt like a live wire brushing up against his perfect skin. I couldn’t help but laugh. It all felt so unreal.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” I sighed. “You, me . . . doing it in a tattoo parlor in the Bronx!”
“Yeah, well, get used to it, Goldilocks,” Chase said, encircling my nipple with his warm mouth. “This is how I roll.”
I pushed his head away, gently. “Hey, this means you’re doing a damn good job on the Quentin Pierce mural, right?” I asked, trying to sound casual about it.
He pulled me to him, sending another shot of pure adrenaline into me. “You bet your sweet ass, Goldilocks. Like I said before, you’ve earned your stripes. You have me now, one hundred percent.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
I spent another glorious night at Chase’s, our bodies and souls fusing together effortlessly, knowing exactly what the other wanted and needed. When it was time to leave and go back to Manhattan, it felt like I was reentering the world of civilians. I glanced around at the women I saw on the train, some of them reserved and prim as they buried their noses in a book or iPad. I wondered if any of them had experienced the caliber of passion I experienced every time my skin was against Chase’s. It was as if I was in possession of a precious secret that few people had any knowledge of.
I remembered a time when I’d suggested to Peter that we try something different, maybe more foreplay, or sex outdoors—anything that would deepen the mood and take us to another level of intimacy. He’d groaned and complained and even gone so far as to call me demanding. “It’s just sex, Annie! Seriously, you’re making a big deal out of it. Getting all crazy and out of hand takes away the fun.”
Now I knew I’d been dealing with a boy, rather than a man. I’d almost believed Peter, but my experience with Chase had convinced me that skill, seduction, and playfulness were the hallmarks of a true lover.
I hugged myself tightly, wanting to savor every last memory of the previous night. If I’d believed I was incapable of multiple orgasms before, I was dead wrong. Chase had a way of extracting every last ounce of pleasure from my body, much more so than I had ever thought I was capable of.
As I entered the dorm, I felt like I was floating on cloud nine. I was surprised to see Kendra with a stern expression when I opened the door. She sat down on my bed, arms crossed across her chest, glaring at me.
“What’s up?” I said nervously.
“Where the hell were you last night, Ann
ie?” There was a hint of an accusation in her voice.
I was tempted to tell her the truth, but my words wouldn’t come out. It just sounded so . . . wrong. I’d lied about my attraction to Chase for weeks, so I was afraid Kendra would feel betrayed by my silence about what had really been going on between us. “I was with Harrison. Is something wrong?”
Kendra rolled her eyes, and for the first time, I could see real anger on her face. “Don’t lie to me, Annie. Yannis was hanging out with Harrison all last night, so I know you weren’t with him. Your mom’s been worried sick—she tried calling your cell phone, but you didn’t pick up, so the landline’s been ringing off the hook. I demand you tell me what’s going on. And if you lie to me one more time, Annie, I’m gonna wring your neck. You know your nostrils flare when you’re telling a fib, right? Yeah, well, that’s how I know.”
I sighed and slumped down next to her, throwing my overnight bag on the floor. “I, um, I was with Chase.”
“Chase Adams?” She said his name like it was poison.
“Yes! And please don’t look at me like that, Kendra. We’ve been working together really closely on the Quentin Pierce project, and I don’t really have a choice but to see him whenever I can, since he does his work mainly at night.”
“I bet he does,” she shot back, unamused. She was looking at me strangely. “Fuck! Is that a hickey on your neck? Now, I know I didn’t see that on you yesterday.” She put her hand over her mouth. “I knew it! I knew it! That night you came home at five a.m.? You were with Chase, weren’t you? You’re totally sleeping with him! I didn’t want to believe it after I saw that blog post, but it’s all starting to come together now.”
I cringed at her words, which didn’t sound congratulatory in the way they usually did. “Kendra, it’s not like that . . .”
“Whatever, Annie—please don’t try to sugarcoat this for me! You and Chase are fucking, and you didn’t have the decency to even tell me about it.” She lowered her voice, as if someone might be listening to us. “Does Harrison know about this?”
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