I’d never been more terrified in my life. Not to mention, John was watching this mess. I began the drum intro on the next song, not knowing what else to do, and Ollie continued to sing lead.
This went on for another thirty minutes. We tackled five more songs until we reached one of the brand-new ones.
I’d had enough. My arms were gelatin from not practicing as much as I needed over the last month. My stomach growled from being too nervous to eat all day. But mostly, my heart ached as I still didn’t know where John was or if he’d stayed.
“Thank you, Richmond,” I said into my microphone. “I hope you enjoyed the show. We’re going to cut off here. Because, fuck, we need Caleb to continue. Thanks for your support. We love you.”
I stood up.
Nothing in this world, not even a million dollars, would have kept me in my seat. I was sweaty. These leather pants were a mistake. And I missed my boyfriend.
I took a play out of Caleb’s book. I walked to the edge and jumped down off the stage. I was looking for John. I needed him now more than ever. I needed him to take me home.
I scanned faces, moving fast.
I couldn’t find him.
If he was still here, he should have seen me hop off that stage. People kept asking for pictures. “John,” I called into the noise.
“Is the band splitting up?” a fan asked. “Was this your last show?”
“No.” I pushed through people.
“Stop for a picture with us?” a teen asked. She looked adorable, with purple hair in two buns on top of her head. I couldn’t turn her down. I stopped for a picture.
One became two. Two became three. I couldn’t move. Where was one of the concert security guards? I felt like I was drowning. Worse of all—John wasn’t here.
He wasn’t here.
Anxiety was crippling me.
I was okay with most crowds. But normally I never threw myself into a sea of my fans. I felt like I couldn’t breathe as people pushed in around me. I think I was on the verge of a panic attack, my heart ready to explode. I closed my eyes.
“No more pictures,” I breathed, but it came out a whisper.
No one heard me.
And then I felt two arms slip around my waist. It was John. I didn’t need to see him to know it was him.
Everything was okay.
~ CHAPTER 43 ~
JOHN
I don’t know what Dani was thinking, stepping off the stage like that. Caleb had done it with far more grace. After Emma left me, kissing Caleb in front of the crowd, he’d ushered her away as if he knew what would happen if he lingered for even a second in the madness. I couldn’t help Emma anymore. I had to hope she was in good hands now with Caleb. I was sure she was.
Once they were gone, I moved to the right side of the venue. It was a long way from the center of the stage, but I still had a view of Dani on the drums. I tried to focus only on her and not on all the shouting people surrounding me.
This was not ever going to be easy for me. Between the rage I felt over the guys at the restaurant, and the uneasiness I felt being this close to so many people, I was always going to have issues with her fame. But this was who she was. I couldn’t change that. I wouldn’t want to. For the thirty minutes or so that Dani drummed, I knew she was in her element. She was so fucking talented. I closed my eyes, listening for only her instrument, and for a moment the massive crowd didn’t bother me.
But then she abruptly ended the concert, as if she was bored playing without Caleb and couldn’t go on with it another minute. Then my crazy girl stepped off the stage. I immediately lost sight of her. For all I knew, she twisted an ankle with that maneuver. I started to rush toward her, but it seemed like half the people in this crowd had the same idea.
What was she doing?
It took me a good ten minutes to worm through the wall of bodies, every shape and size, until I finally had sight of her again.
The look of panic on her face carved at my insides. She was in trouble, and I was still yards away. I tried to shout her name, but she couldn’t hear me. Panic flooded me when she closed her eyes, as if defeated. Finally I made it toward her, after having to push through a group of teenage girls. I locked my arms around her like a shield, just as I made eye contact with the same asshole from Red Robin. What was he planning on doing? Grope her in public? Ask her to ride his dick?
“Back the fuck away!” I growled at him. I’d shown restraint earlier. I wouldn’t show it now. “All of you... BACK THE FUCK AWAY NOW!”
My words had some affect. Not all, but a few people tried to move back for us. Dani turned and curled into me, burying her face against my chest. I could feel her sharp breaths. I think she was crying.
With one arm out, like a football linebacker, I moved her away from the chaos. I didn’t stop moving until we were in the parking lot. The sky crackled above us, and raindrops began to drip down on our heads.
I slowed my steps.
My heart... it kept right on racing.
I turned to her.
“I’m normally better in crowds.” She sniffled, not meeting my eyes. “I was nervous you’d left.” The rain started to soak her clothes.
“I wouldn’t leave. Not ever. Not without you.” After the restaurant, I’d considered not going to the concert for a small second. But that didn’t mean I’d ever consider leaving Dani. Fuck no. “I’m in this forever,” I told her, gently touching her chin so she’d look up at me. “You and me. Forever.”
Her eyes met mine. Fat raindrops rolled off her eyelashes.
I brushed a thumb under each of her eyes. The rain had begun to smear her makeup. Or maybe her tears had. It ran everywhere. She was just as beautiful as ever. “I’ll stay with you on the side of the stage next time. I hated being so far away from you.”
“I hated it too.”
My heart warmed. She had my body tingling. The things I’d heard those other men say about her no longer phased me. Because she was mine. Because I had her heart. And that mattered more than anything else she’d given to anyone else before me.
I kissed her red lips, taking a deep taste of her mouth, loving that I could, loving that somehow, I’d fought my way in past her walls. “Let’s go home,” I said against her mouth. “So I can get you out of these wet clothes and back under my sheets.” I took a nip of her neck. “It’s been too many hours since the last time I got to taste you. Got to touch you. Got to lose myself inside you.”
She snaked her arms around my middle, holding onto me tightly. “Take me home, John, please.”
~ EPILOGUE ~
Christmas Day
DANI
I took the lid off the tiny box, my last Christmas present from John, and stared at the diamond inside. “Is this what I think it is?”
“Yes,” he breathed.
He was in sweatpants, no shirt. We’d spent the morning lazily opening the few presents we’d gotten for each other. I’d set up a small tree and some lights in his room. Our plans for today were just this—just us. We’d both been relaxed, but now he suddenly seemed tense.
“You’re going to do it?” I asked.
“If you still want me to. I have everything I need with me here.”
“Yes, I still want it.” I stared at the curved piece of jewelry. “This... is this real?”
“Of course it’s real.”
Fuck. “John,” I whined. “It has to be at least one carat on something no one but you and I will ever see.” He didn’t have that kind of money to spend on something like this. “Seems excessive, right?”
“So. That’s the point. It’s for you and me. No one else. Besides. Since I sold all my grandfather’s old cars, I’ve got a little bit of extra cash.”
I smiled. “Except the Lamborghini.” I still couldn’t believe, buried under rags, John had a Lamborghini in his garage. I’d begged him to keep it. He did for me. He hadn’t even known it was in there! I raised my eyebrows. The way he didn’t care about stuff like that—it was super cu
te. On the other hand, I was a little more distracted by shiny things.
Like this diamond he wanted me to wear. It was very pretty—the single stone, just my style. I squeezed my legs together imagining where he’d have to stick his needle. “I love it. It’s perfect.”
John had a hungry look in his eyes. “Come here. Come get in the bed.”
Okay. I guess we were doing it now and in his room. I stood to my feet and walked over.
“Lay down flat on your back. Take your pants off.”
Thank God he no longer pierced other girls. Because the second he got bossy, it turned me on. I did as he asked. I took my pants off. I climbed into bed and lay there, staring at the ceiling, waiting on him.
“Open your legs, Dani.”
Moving for him, I breathed in deeply. I couldn’t decide if I was anxious or turned on. But then John touched me, right in the spot I’d just exposed to him. He pushed a finger deep inside me at the same time he pressed his thumb against my clit.
“What are you doing?”
He smiled at me, moving his thumb. “I’m going to get you off several times. Because you won’t be able to even masturbate for six weeks once I pierce you.” My nipples instantly pebbled against the fabric of my t-shirt.
My heart began to thud.
“Then I only want you to fuck me.” The other stuff didn’t matter. I could hold out for six weeks. But not getting to be intimate with John during that time—that would be the hardest part.
I think he saw how serious I was. Because he moved his hand, climbing into bed with me. Then he rolled me on top, positioning my sex down on his cock. He entered me slowly. Then he sat up to kiss me, as if that were more important than getting off.
There was something different happening. Something slower, and sensual, and loving. I’d never had sex like this. Like time didn’t matter. Like the rest of the world didn’t exist. Like we could do this for the rest of our lives and never get tired of it. John’s touch and kiss continued. Minutes later, he nearly brought me to damn tears when I orgasmed.
After he came, he held me.
Who the hell was I becoming? I had just made love, and enjoyed every second of it. I kissed his forearm, snuggling in closer against his naked body.
“Let’s do it rough now,” he whispered against my ear.
I laughed out loud. “Yes, please.”
“Over here. Just like our first time.” He tugged me out of bed, guiding me straight to the bed post that had started it all.
I held on as he grabbed me by my ass.
“I love you, Dani,” he said, as he maneuvered and pushed inside me from behind. He began deep, powerful thrusts, while his hands wrapped around my body. He ran his fingers over my breasts, sending shivers across my skin “You’re my whole world.”
“I love you, too,” I answered through sharp breaths.
When I came for the second time, I felt like my heart might explode. I was so thankful for John in my life. I’d still be lost without him.
* * *
JOHN
I was beginning to freak out about this piercing. I’d done a million of them, but never on my girlfriend. Jesus Christ. I had Dani take a shower. Then we watched a movie, mostly trying to calm my own nerves.
“Fuck, I’m sweating thinking about this,” I told her.
“Let’s just do it and get it over with.”
I nodded. “Downstairs.”
She followed me to the kitchen in her cute little pajama set. I’d brought everything I needed home with me. I only needed to start sterilizing. The last thing I wanted was to give her an infection.
She watched me while I set everything up. The whole time she was so curious; meanwhile, my hands shook. I made her lay on the kitchen table, the same table where we were supposed to be eating Christmas dinner later with Sydney, Rhett, Emma, and Caleb.
She touched her hand to my wrist. “Calm down, John. I’m not afraid.”
“Good—because I’m fucking terrified.”
“I trust you.”
My heart raced. I prepared myself, knowing this would be my last vaginal piercing ever. The moment the needle pierced through her soft flesh, she made the softest, smallest noise.
“You okay?”
She nodded in response, biting down on her lip.
I quickly put in the new piece of jewelry. And that was it. Simple enough. I wiped a hand across my forehead. My skin was dripping with sweat. My body was nearly vibrating from all the adrenaline flooding my veins. I had to breathe slowly in and out a few times.
“Are you okay?” she asked me.
“I’m never doing that again.” I ran a hand over the back of my neck.
“Can I see it?”
“Yes.” I’d brought a mirror home with me just for this. I showed. It looked so fucking good. I was going to enjoy the hell out of this as soon as it healed.
She smiled. “I love it. Thank you. I know that wasn’t easy for you.”
For me? She was the one who just had to endure a needle through her skin. “Let’s go get back in bed. I need time to relax and calm down now.” My heart continued to thump.
“Thanks again, John. Now I have my piece of you with me.”
Oh God, I loved her so much. Her words made the last few minutes of agony worth it. I took her face in my hands, giving her a long, slow kiss. Now—to make it six long weeks when I already felt like I needed her again.
THE END
* * *
~ DANI & JOHN BONUS CHAPTERS ~
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~ CHAPTER 1 ~
LUKE
A big gust of wind blew at my face as I rapped my knuckles against Caleb’s front door.
My lungs burned. My stomach—it felt like I’d swallowed battery acid. I tried to breathe evenly but couldn’t manage it. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to see Rebecca ever again. At least not in this lifetime. But Caleb deserved the truth.
The door opened.
My brother stood on the other side. Shit, he looked awful. He’d let his facial hair go crazy. His beard needed shaping and trimming. He had bags under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in days. And I swear, the last time I saw him, he’d been wearing those same sweatpants.
“Oh good, big brother, you finally came.” His eyes shined with relief.
But I wasn’t here because he called. I wasn’t here with good news. I came with the worst kind.
“Let’s make some music,” Caleb said. “I’ve written four new songs I want you to hear and help me decide which one you like best.”
I stepped inside. I wasn’t here to work on music. I glanced around his foyer. “Where’s Rebecca? Where’s the kid? What’s his name? Caleb Junior?”
“I know. I can’t believe she named him that either. Rebecca went to the store. And Caleb’s in the soundproof room. Which is why we need get back down there. I’ve been teaching him drums. C’mon.”
Thank God, Rebecca wasn’t here. I couldn’t believe she’d named her son ‘Caleb Junior’ either. What an awful name. Especially since there was a chance he wasn’t Caleb’s kid. I knew that. She knew that. The only person who didn’t know that was my brother.
I followed him to the basement. I had to see the kid. I had to meet him.
It wasn’t a normal basement. It was massive, and sound-proofed, and fully equipped for the entire band. We recorded our third album in this basement. The boy sat by the drums, banging away. If my cousin Dani saw him on her instrument, she would have wanted to murder someone. Good thing she wasn’t here.
“Good job, Caleb.” Caleb told the boy, giving him a thumbs up.
“Senior. Senior!” the boy said, banging his two sticks against the kick drum.
“He’s calling me ‘Senior’ lately,” Caleb smiled. “I don’t mind it. I like it. So.” He picked up his guitar, adjusting the strap over one shoulder, letting his fingers fall into place on the strings. “Let’s play.”
I ignored him. Instead I went to sit next to the boy. I brushed little Caleb’s wild brown hair from his face, staring down at him, taking him in. He looked like me.
He fucking looked exactly like me.
Tears burned behind my eyes. My brother Caleb and I—we looked a lot alike. Really, the kid could have been either of ours. But something in my heart told me he was mine.
Caleb strummed a cord on his guitar, ready to get to playing music.
“I slept with Rebecca.”
The words broke free from my lips like I’d been holding them hostage. Almost four years of not being able to say them, and one look at the kid and they spilled out.
Caleb’s fingers froze on his guitar, making an awful sound. Caleb Junior kept banging his little heart out on the drums
“Caleb—Caleb! Stop for a second!” he yelled at the boy. My boy.
Little Caleb just kept drumming…and giggling now.
I stood up. “I slept with Rebecca,” I repeated, louder now. “It happened once. Well, several times in one night. We weren’t careful. I didn’t use a condom.”
Caleb laughed. He thought I was joking.
This wasn’t a joke. “I think there’s a chance little Caleb could be mine. We need to do a paternity test.”
“Holy shit!”
I watched his face change as my words sunk in. The gravity of my betrayal and the secret I’d been holding onto for so long hit him.
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