by Mara McQueen
Hey, if he hadn't wanted to share, he should have finished his treat by now.
Kieran gasped in mock offense, face lighting up with a huge smile. "Thief!"
" I'm sure you'll get me for this after you're finished with your 'mission'," she said and turned, dramatic from the crown of her head down to the tip of her heels. Even flipped her hair over her shoulder.
But she didn't get far.
Kieran grabbed her hand and spun her around. He molded his lips to hers. But the kiss was at odds with the intensity of his embrace. His arms kept her tight to his chest, as if he never wanted to let her go, while his lips were soft.
Promising. Comforting. Unhurried.
Every sound, every breeze, every light around them vanished as Olivia sagged into his embrace and let herself enjoy.
He tasted sweet and enticing. Olivia couldn't get enough of him. When they finally parted, Olivia was breathless and her cheeks felt hot.
They continued their stroll, Kieran not letting go of her hand. Olivia blushed harder. Look at them, walking hand in hand for everyone to see. Such a simple thing to enjoy, but it made her irrationally giddy. Couples did this all the time, a simple hand-holding shouldn't have made her smile from ear to ear. But Kieran and her weren't a normal couple, were they?
"Can you keep a secret?" he asked after finishing off his ice cream.
"Haven't we dealt with enough secrets by now?"
"You'll like this one, I promise." He winked at her.
Olivia couldn't help it. This carefree side of him was infectious and it made her so, so happy. There was no trace of the brooding manor heir she'd first met. Yes, Kieran still dripped mystery and depravity with every breath, but he was slowly taking off his mask and showing her a different, playful side of himself. One that smiled without an edge.
"Okay, spill. I promise your secret's safe with me," she said.
He took a deep breath, tugging her closer. "I can't wait to get back so we can go on a proper date."
Olivia frowned. "Isn't that what we're doing right now?"
"Don't say it out loud, people will think I'm a terrible boyfriend." He laughed, licking his lips. Olivia wanted to lick them for him. "In normal circumstances, this would've been the end of a date. At best."
Damn, she needed to call all her ex-boyfriends—or as she affectionately liked to call them, the three idiots who'd needed a few good weeks of dating to know what an orgasm was—and complain they hadn't spoiled her enough.
"No, a proper date," he said, voice dropping deliciously. "Me taking a whole week to plan it, showing up at your apartment and waiting for you to come down the stairs. Losing my breath when you finally showed up after making me wait ten minutes—"
"At least." Olivia laughed, feeling lighter by the second. He was daydreaming about their future, too.
"—I'd escort you to the car and we'd spend hours over a bottle of wine talking and laughing about things only the two of us would understand. Then, if we'd be up for it—and we both know we would be—we'd slow-dance the night away until everyone else left, lost in each other’s arms."
"And then, when we couldn't take the tension anymore," he whispered, turning to Olivia. "We'd go back home, and finally share the kiss we'd denied ourselves all night." He took a step closer to her, chests touching, lips a breath away. He ran his fingers up her neck, twining his hand in her hair. "After undressing you with my eyes all night, I'd finally be able to take off the dark velvet shielding your body from my gaze and then we'd be lost together until you'd forget about everything and anything else except for screaming out my name."
God. This man, with his gazes that rooted her to the spot and words that ignited her body, would be her undoing.
Olivia wanted him and she wanted him now. But he'd tortured her with his words, it was her turn.
Just as Kieran tilted his head to the side, leaning down to claim her lips, Olivia whispered, "There's just one problem with that plan."
Kieran stopped, frowning. "What?"
"I wouldn't be wearing black velvet, I'd be dripping in red silk and driving you mad."
Kieran closed his eyes, biting his lower lip. "You're going to kill me."
Before she could get out another word, his lips found hers again. But this wasn't the chaste kiss of before. Oh, no. This was intense, seeking, claiming, making Olivia crave more.
After all, their night had just begun.
CHAPTER 6—PROMISE
They fell into their hotel room in a flurry of limbs and kisses, almost undressed.
Kieran's shirt buttons had been the first casualty of their frenzy. They had gone flying through the elevator just as an elderly couple walked in.
Olivia had gone bright red and apologized to the poor sod whose eyes she had almost taken out by trying to rid Kieran of his clothes, while the bastard has chuckled behind her.
They managed to keep their hands off each other only until they'd arrived on their floor. Kieran had almost unzipped Olivia's dress while opening their door.
When she’d narrowed her eyes at him, he'd just grinned and said, "I promised you a scandal, didn't I?"
But now they were alone, yanking clothes and inching closer to the bed. Their hours together were slowly ticking away. Olivia wanted all of them filled with Kieran.
The back of her knees hit the mattress and gravity claimed her. Kieran grinned down at her as she reclined back.
He crouched, with a devilish glint in his eyes, and slowly crawled up her body. He trapped her with that hungry gaze of his that promised to drive her wild again.
But just as he was about to claim her lips again, a ringing broke the silence.
Kieran tensed. He stood up straight, taking out his phone. Olivia instantly missed the heat of his body.
He gave the phone a murderous look and answered. "What did you find?"
Heart trying to beat itself out of her chest, Olivia watched him slowly walk toward the window. She couldn't hear what the person on the other line was saying, but Kieran's back tensed, muscle by muscle.
Olivia kept her eyes on his glorious tattoo, snaking across his arm, up to his shoulder blade. She wanted to trace each of its lines. Then lick them.
But the tension slowly ebbed away at her lust. The more Kieran went without saying a word, phone held so tightly his fingers turned white, the more her dread grew.
Finally, he nodded curtly.
A deep, burning longing erupted inside Olivia’s chest, threatening to swallow her whole. She knew what he was about to say before he turned to look at her.
His eyes were no longer wild and devious. They were tormented.
He had to leave.
"When?" Olivia whispered, averting her gaze to the luxurious sheets. She couldn't look at him, not when her heart was breaking.
"Before dawn."
Pain speared her. She'd known Kieran had to leave, hadn't she?
But she'd hoped—stupidly, naively, hopelessly—that the universe would take pity on her and allow them more time.
But no miracle was going to save them.
He would leave in a few short hours.
Olivia swallowed her pain past the lump in her throat and smiled at him. It hurt to pretend.
But he saw right through her.
In two quick strides, he rushed to her and kneeled on the bed, taking her face in his strong hands.
"I have to go," he said, almost desperately, as if trying to convince himself, too.
"I know," she whispered, already feeling her eyes well up.
Goddammit, she swore she wouldn't cry. He scooted closer to her, brows furrowing.
"I'll be back," he whispered fiercely. "I promise I'll be back."
Olivia blinked the tears away. This couldn't be how they spent their last night together, a mess of tears and longing.
Who knew when she'd see him again. It might take a few days. It might take a few weeks. Months.
She had to breathe in every moment with him and bottle it up for those days
when the yearning became too much to bear. To remind herself he would be back.
She had to trust that he would. Or else she would crumble. And she couldn't afford to crumble right now.
With her legs shaking, Olivia reluctantly left his side, digging into her wallet under Kieran's curious gaze.
She took out all the money she had left, two measly pounds. In coins, too.
Then she took an envelope off the nightstand, ripped the branded hotel postcard from inside—who would she even send it to?—and stuffed the money inside.
"What are you doing?" Kieran asked, clearly forcing his voice to be more amused than he felt. "If you're paying for my services, I have to say, I'm a bit insulted. Two pounds is low, even for me."
Olivia laughed despite the anguish consuming her. God, she'd miss him so much.
She forced a smile and handed him the envelope with the hotel logo on it. "A promise, from me to you, that I'll pay you back."
He'd paid off her student loans. Without her asking. Without her even knowing about it. It was the kindest thing anyone had ever done for her. He didn't want her to pay him back. But Olivia didn't want to be indebted to anyone, even him.
He took the envelope, grimacing. "Well, now I have to come back. These two pounds have convinced truly convinced me."
Olivia laughed again, despite the tears threatening to wet her cheeks.
Get a grip.
Kieran placed the envelope on the floor and opened his arms. "Come here."
She did. And once she was safely back in the arms she never wanted to leave, she was lost. Their lips found each other again, but this wasn't the frantic kiss of two lovers knowing they'd part soon.
They took their time, tasting the other. Their hands glided across the other's skin as if they wanted to learn each curve of their bodies. Remember them forever.
Their movements were gentle. Unhurried.
Kieran covered her body with his slowly, rocking against her as if they had all the time in the world.
And once he finally entered her, he covered her palms with his, careful not to jostle her bandages, and twined their fingers together in a vice grip.
They stayed like that what felt like an eternity, breathing the other in.
But the tension soon became too much. When Kieran finally moved, Olivia curved her body so that there was no space between them. As if she could hold off the inevitable if she just hoped enough.
She let her body and mouth say the things she couldn't.
She was going to miss him.
She didn't want him to leave.
She'd fallen hopelessly in love with him.
But they couldn't pretend for long. The touches became more urgent, the feelings too raw to hide.
"I'll come back to you," he whispered fiercely in her ear, not looking into her eyes for the first time. "I promise."
All Olivia could do was nod and hold onto him for dear life.
When they finally came, they held on so tightly to the other, they could barely breathe. He sagged against her, keeping her in his arms as he peppered small kisses down her neck.
They stayed like that for a long time, their hearts beating in sync.
Finally, sleep became unbearable, and Olivia drifted off in his arms, as he whispered in her ear in a language she didn't understand. But it sounded so much like "I love you" that it broke her heart all over again.
CHAPTER 7—GOODBYE
The sun startled Olivia awake.
No! It was morning.
She rose so fast, she got dizzy. But despite the ringing in her ears and the erratic breathing of her heart, she knew.
She was alone.
The bed and room were empty. But that didn't stop her from getting up, sheets carelessly thrown to the ground, as she rushed through the whole apartment.
The longer she searched, the more she could lie to herself.
But Kieran was gone. The room felt empty and cold, even as the sun beamed into it.
He hadn't even said goodbye.
Olivia's knees gave out when she finished searching every nook and cranny. She slid with her back against the window, the delicious memories of only a few hours ago now painful.
Finally, she let the tears fall. They were ugly ones, too, that ripped at her throat, and sucked out her soul.
The universe had an awful sense of humor. She had finally met the man of her dreams, only to have him leave.
Their wicked night was officially over.
Olivia didn't know how long she stayed like that, sobs wracking her body, hands gliding on the windows as if she could turn back time.
Her future suddenly seemed bleaker than before. It was as if Kieran had taken all the joy and warmth with him when he'd walked out.
When her legs started to hurt, Olivia got up shakily.
She couldn't stay in this room for one more second. Everything reminded her of Kieran. The blasted windows. The bathroom. His side of the bed. His pillow—
Olivia gasped as she saw the envelope on his pillow, her baton safely tucked underneath it.
She sprinted and jumped onto the bed, grabbing the envelope. It felt thicker than last night. She opened it, trying to stop herself from hoping Kieran had left even a glimmer of himself.
He had.
Olivia took out the single sheet of paper. A letter. When did he have time to write it? And if he’d wanted to tell her something, why hadn't he woken her up and said it to her face, the bastard?
She curled up on the bed, gripping the letter until its edges crinkled.
You're probably cursing me out right now for not waking you.
Olivia snorted a laugh despite the numbness which had taken hold of her.
I knew that if I did and saw those eyes of yours that keep me up at night, I wouldn't be able to leave.
I meant what I said. I'm coming back to you. I promise. I swear it.
Hopefully in one piece, but that's not a guarantee. Promise I'll try to keep my face intact, I know how much you like looking at it.
Fresh tears fell down Olivia’s cheeks. If he got hurt, she would never forgive him. Fine, she would, as long as she could see him again. But she'd chew his head off for good measure.
I have a confession. I wanted to tell you something before I left. But I think it would have hurt us too much.
Her breath caught. She'd wanted to say it, too. So, so much. They were a couple of idiots.
And it feels wrong to say it in writing for the first time. But I want you to know you are the reason to my life.
You're the reason I want to survive this. So I can see you again and tell you all the things I should’ve said before.
Olivia blinked her tears away. This man could make her heart shudder even when he wasn't in the room with her. Wicked, that's what he was.
I know you have a career and responsibilities waiting for you back home, but I hope you can rip five minutes of your time for me now and again.
A phone number was scribbled hastily at the bottom of the page.
You're the only person I've given this number to. It's just for the two of us. Me and you. Use it wisely.
He'd underlined the last part. Olivia nodded to herself. Kieran was out on a dangerous mission. She couldn't go around texting him cat pictures in the middle of the night.
That, sadly, means no sexting.
Olivia laughed, wiping her tears away.
I need to hear your voice to get through this. And we will get through this. And once we're back together, it will be glorious.
Yours forever,
K
CHAPTER 8—VANISHED
Two weeks later
“How’s today treatin’ ye, Miss?”
Olivia startled, flinching away from the mailboxes at the entrance of her building. She’d been getting better at this whole keeping her fears in check. But for the past two weeks, she’d been so lost in her own mind, even a bulldozer could sneak up on her.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle ye.” Her new neigh
bor raised his hands, stepping back.
He’d moved into the apartment right underneath hers two days after Olivia had arrived back home—or whatever her small, lonely apartment was these days. They’d been meeting every afternoon, like clockwork, at the mailbox. And every day, he asked her how her day had gone, then wobbled back into his apartment.
Olivia still didn’t know his name. All she knew was that he looked a few years older than her. No more than thirty, but you wouldn't notice it at first glance. He wore his dark hair a bit too long, had the same grey, fraying sweater on every day, had a drooped shoulder, and liked to cook until he smoked up the entire building.
“Don't worry, I’m fine,” she said. She was still a bit breathless, but much more in control of her emotions now that she was spending three nights a week learning how to kick some serious ass in self-defense classes. They grounded her like nothing else could these days. “And you?”
The guy shrugged with his good shoulder and turned, saying the same thing he did every day. “Same old, same old.”
Olivia watched him wobble up the stairs. Her gaze lingered long after he'd closed the door and the entire building went silent.
She should move. Take the bills in her hands upstairs and frown at them for a few hours. But for the life of her, she could not move her legs.
She wasn't fine. Sure, she looked okay, and nobody, not Maria, not Janice, not even Underwood—who'd finally been released from the hospital and planned on taking a record-breaking sabbatical—suspected otherwise.
Olivia went to work, got groceries, cleaned her apartment. She even managed to score a dingy little sale this week, a beige apartment three streets down from here. She went through the motions of living and managed to do it with a smile most days.
But inside? She was cold and hollow.
Two weeks. Two weeks had passed since she'd last seen or heard from Kieran. He'd said he'd call. Why hadn't he?
She knew why she hadn't called him yet. Each time she picked up the phone and dialed his number, she hesitated. What if she called him while he was out on his mission? What if he was hiding and someone traced her call and found him?
