“You remember the last time we did this?” Jason’s rumbling voice sounded behind her.
Liz didn’t look up. Instead, she remembered eight Valentine’s Days ago when Jason gave her an engagement ring. Inside a perfect, red rose was the small diamond she knew he’d worked all summer for the year before. That night was magical for them both.
Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she turned to look at him. Her breath hitched at the sight before her.
He’d showered and shaved. He looked like the man who'd given her that ring. The man she'd loved. And still loved, even though she didn't want to. He leaned against the door frame with a confidence most men could only dream about. His full lips tilted upward at her look of shock.
He held his hands out to present himself. “I decided that I didn’t like being referred to as a goat.”
Liz gave him a small smile as she tried to take a few deep breaths and coax her heart into a slower rhythm. Time had only made him more handsome. Laugh lines around his eyes crinkled at her when she still didn’t speak. She could smell the humid, piney aftershave he’d put on, emanating from the steamy bathroom.
“Is it that bad, Lizzie?” he asked.
“You haven’t changed at all.”
“You used to tell me I was pretty hot, so I’m going to say that’s a good thing.”
“Yeah,” she whispered.
With one foot, he pushed away from the door frame and walked over to her. His scent preceded him, and she closed her eyes and inhaled. Nothing about him had changed. That same woodsy smell he’d branded all his own still had the power to make her knees go weak. The dimple she’d always loved flashed at her from the corner of his lips.
“I see you went looking for lights. Like the night I proposed.”
“Mmm,” Liz muttered. She hadn’t been doing it intentionally, but he was right. Her subconscious automatically linked Valentine’s Day with white, sparkling lights, covered with little red plastic hearts like he’d covered the gazebo in when he’d asked her to marry him. Her eyes opened. He stood directly in front of her but didn’t touch her as he reached past her into the box. Somewhere during the last few minutes, she’d dropped them.
“These look familiar,” Jason mused and lifted the string of lights to inspect them. “Judging the fact you’re white as a sheet tells me they look familiar to you, too.”
“I…I think I’ve seen them before, somewhere.”
Jason nodded. “I still have it, you know.”
“What?” Liz’s breath hitched; she was intrigued yet terrified to hear what “it” was.
“Your ring. Your mom gave it back to me after she found it in your bedroom. I wanted to pawn it, but sometimes, I still look at it to remind myself of better times.”
“Why haven’t you married, Jason?” It was a stupid question, but she had to know. An unseen force in her soul pushed the words out of her mouth as if she had no control over her own body.
He fiddled with the lights in a nervous gesture then shrugged. “I haven’t fallen in love with anyone else.”
Liz realized all over again the pain he must have gone through. She’d never fully allowed herself to think about the consequences of her actions, but now, as he stood before her with a sadness she’d never seen before haunting his eyes, she knew it had been much harder on him than she ever imagined. Somewhere along the way she’d convinced herself that Oakley was what he wanted. Now she wasn’t so sure.
“I’m sorry, Jason,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper.
He bit his lower lip and looked away. “I don’t think about it much.”
She smiled. If he thought about it half as much as she did, he was just as consumed with it as she was. “Liar.”
Jason grinned. “Yeah, I am.”
“I really am sorry. I was selfish and went on with my life. I thought you would rather stay here than be with me.”
“You make me sound like a martyr.”
“No. I mean, I dealt with it in my own way, but when I left, it was what I wanted. If I had thought you’d come with me, we might be down a different road now.”
“But we’re not.”
“Nope.”
“And you’re getting married tomorrow.”
“Yes.”
He wrenched away from her, tossing the lights back into the box. He walked into the kitchen. “Did you make the hot cocoa?”
She hesitated at the change of subject. “Yes.”
She watched as he busied himself pouring the hot chocolate. Her heart ached to go to him and make things right. When she was honest with herself, she knew Jason was the one to rescue her for a reason. She couldn’t get married until she resolved her feelings for him.
And she wasn’t married yet. Tonight, she would make sure there were no doubts left in her mind about Jason. When she walked down the aisle to Patrick, she wanted only to see the face of the man she was about to marry, not the face of the one she almost did.
* * * *
Jason’s hands shook a little as he handed Lizzie the mug of hot cocoa.
“The lights look good on the mantle.” He gestured with his chin and sat next to her. She wrapped her fingers around the mug. Her innocent brown eyes met his briefly when their fingers touched.
“No thanks to you.” She smiled at him over the rim of the cup as she took a delicate sip. She squinted when the hot liquid met her lips.
He’d turned on the radio in the kitchen to a music station right outside of town. The soft words of a ballad lilted through the air. The fire he’d built after bringing the firewood in still burned and crackled. The white strand of lights and the fire were the only illumination in the cabin. Shadows fell across Lizzie’s face.
“This is nice,” she said at the end of a sigh. “I haven’t had a quiet evening like this in years.”
Uh uh. He didn’t want to hear about what she did at night. “How’s your head?”
“Fine. The cut scabbed over. But I think I’ll have a nice war scar to remember this Valentine’s Day by.”
A war scar, indeed. Like the one on his heart. They were a matched set.
He couldn’t help it. He reached out and touched her hair, allowing the silkiness of it to fall through his fingers. “You’ll always be beautiful to me,” he rasped.
Lizzie’s whole body went still; she paused with the mug half way to her lips. After what seemed like an eternity, she placed it on the coffee table and turned to Jason. She took his cup and did the same with it.
Hesitantly, she scooted over to him. Before he knew what she intended, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and she burrowed her head into his neck. Pulling her close, he placed a kiss on the top of her head. He mourned all of the years they could have done this very thing: Enjoy each other’s company.
“What are we doing, Lizzie?” he asked.
“From my viewpoint, I’d say we’re snuggling. You?”
“I don’t know, but it feels nice.”
“Like I was never gone, huh?” she murmured.
But the span of time had still separated them, and come tomorrow his misery would start all over again. So was it wrong to stop thinking about tomorrow and enjoy the moment? He’d lived for years on the memories they’d made before she left. He might make it another seven if they could make a few new ones tonight.
Lizzie’s warm breath on his skin stirred awareness throughout his body. Every exhale caused the hairs on his neck to stand up. Her hand came away from his waist, and her palm rested on the side of his neck. It took him a moment to register the feeling of her lips working against his throat and the soft sighs he remembered all too well.
“Lizzie,” he protested, although he wasn’t sure if he wanted her to continue or stop.
In one motion, Liz pulled herself up, straddled his waist, and gave him a kiss he wasn’t likely to forget any time soon.
The passion in her, as her tongue wasted no time delving deep, caused his fingers to clench on her hips and pull her against him roug
hly. But after a few moments, he wasn’t sure which of them was the aggressor when their breath mingled and their hands were everywhere.
Jason filled his palm with her soft body, wishing the clothing they wore didn’t separate them. But in a way, he was glad it did because he wouldn’t have been able to think things through otherwise.
He speared his fingers through her curls and held her face against his as he tried to bring back some semblance of control. She attempted to ignore him, but he moved away from her mouth and trailed kisses down her neck and jaw.
As he pulled away from her, he touched his forehead against hers. He drew in several deep breaths to calm his libido and summon his courage.
He pulled away and moved her to sit on the sofa next to him. He couldn’t think clearly with her lithe body so close. But still, he couldn’t stop touching her. He took her hand and joined their fingers, unwilling to let the moment pass.
He’d vowed the second she'd said in her sleep that she didn’t love Patrick to tell her he still cared. It looked like it was now or never.
Squaring his shoulders, he took a deep breath and said, “I still love you.”
Tears sprang into Liz’s eyes, and her bottom lip quivered. For a long while, she simply studied their hands together, traced her finger up and down his wrist. Her tears fell in silence. But when she looked at him again, his heart leapt.
“I still love you, too, Jason. I don’t think I ever stopped.”
“Don’t marry him, Lizzie. If you’re not sure about canceling it, at least give it another few months until we work this out.”
She shook her head with a frown. “I know you’re right, but it’s not so simple. There are still so many things that I’m not sure can ever be resolved.” She shook her head and smiled through tears. “But you’re right. I can’t marry Patrick feeling this way.”
“No?” Air filled his lungs and went out in a huge whoosh, and he forgot to inhale. He pulled her into his arms and squeezed. Dizziness assailed him before he remembered to breathe again.
“No,” she confirmed.
When they pulled apart, joy sluiced through him like a gigantic, tingling wave. He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face, but then again, he didn’t want to.
“Can you forgive me for everything that happened, Jason? For leaving you?”
Tenderly, he trailed his finger along her jaw and smiled. “Done.”
“What now? Do we start over?”
Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Jason gave her a real smile, his heart full of love. He kissed her and reveled in the reality they were finally in each other’s arms again.
“Yes,” he said against her lips. "Let's start with a toast. Our hot chocolate is getting cold."
* * * *
"You know that legend about the falling star you told me when you asked me to marry you?" Liz asked Jason as they sipped from their mugs in the dim light.
He remembered the legend he'd heard all of his life. Make a wish on a falling star on Valentine's Day about your one true love, and it'll come true.
“Yeah.”
“I saw one while I was up on the mountain, before the avalanche. It wasn’t dark yet, but it caught my attention, streaking through the sky. I made a wish and my wish came true.”
Jason’s hand went still mid-air as his gaze locked with hers. Finally, his hand dropped with a loud thwack against his thigh.
“Really. What wish was that?”
He watched Liz’s brows came together in a frown. “To see you again before I got married.”
Jason rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Is that why you were up on the mountain? You always did want to be alone when you needed to think.”
Liz remembered back to the evening of the avalanche. She had gone to the mountain to evaluate her future and put Jason behind her for good. Little did she know fate had something else in store.
“Yeah. I thought I could just decide to be over you. I should have known better.”
Jason remained quiet for a long time. Then he asked, “What are you going to do now, Lizzie?”
“I guess I’ll call Patrick and let him know. Knowing this isn’t over between us changes things.”
“So you won’t marry him?”
Liz shrugged. “I can’t.”
Jason let out a breath, and it fanned her hair. “Lizzie, you’ve made me a happy man.”
She smiled. “Glad to be of service.”
With a chuckle, Jason pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly. It was as if time had suddenly vanished, and they were eighteen again. Liz felt lighter than she had in years.
“I love you, Lizzie.”
“I love you, too.”
As he kissed her, he walked her backwards toward the bedroom.
But Liz pulled away and gave him a pleading glance as she placed her hands on his shoulders. “I can’t. Not until I talk with Patrick.”
Clearly, Jason wasn’t pleased as he frowned down at her, but he seemed to understand when he gave her a curt nod. He twirled the diamond on her left finger, lost in thought.
“I’ll never be able to give you a diamond like this,” he mumbled.
“I never needed a diamond to know you loved me.”
“Maybe not, but it suits you. You deserve sparkling diamonds and a big house on a hill. I’ve only got a log cabin on a mountain.”
Liz wondered at his train of thought then came to an abrupt halt when she realized they still hadn’t settled the one thing standing in their way. “I can’t move back here, Jason.”
“What?”
“I thought you would agree to moving.”
“My job is here.”
“You can find a new job. My life is in Baltimore. I can’t risk becoming like my mother,” she argued, her heart breaking. Of all the things she needed him to understand, this was number one.
“Would it really be so bad to be like her? She’s happy, Lizzie. She’s dating, she’s got friends. Just because her life isn’t what you picture for yourself doesn’t mean it’s not right. Besides, I like it here.” Slowly, his arms slipped from around her waist and he moved away, leaving her cold and alone.
“It doesn’t mean it’s wrong, either. Is this really going to stand between us again?”
He shrugged. “I want you to see what you’ve been missing here. I think if you gave it chance instead of running away every time things get tough, you might actually like it here.”
“Why can I not be enough for you?”
“I could ask you the same question.”
“Stop trying to be rational.”
“Someone has to,” he shot, his eyes flashing with anger.
“I can’t believe you. Patrick is a good man who doesn’t deserve to be hurt, but I’m willing to stop my wedding to be with you. Yet, you still refuse to give an inch.”
“Something tells me if I give you an inch, you’d take a mile. Isn’t it the way it’s always been?” Anger pulsed in his jaw.
“No!”
“And if I don’t give an inch, you’ll go running away, the same way you did before. Anything to avoid giving up what you’ve envisioned for your life. Have you ever thought maybe you’re wrong? Maybe the fancy city life isn’t for you, and you might be happier here living the way your mother lives?”
“I hate this town!”
“Hate it so much you’d get married here?”
“I never said the landscape wasn’t beautiful,” Liz argued, but she knew he made a valid point, and she hated it even more. "My family's here. It was easier this way. You know they can't afford to travel to Baltimore."
“Your family’s here, Lizzie. I’m here. You’ve gotta make a choice.”
“I don't know how to choose, Jason. I have a career and friends—a life—in Baltimore. Here, I have…" She trailed off. "How can I just walk away?"
“Everything isn’t always going to go your way. You might end up married to Patrick after all. Have two point five kids in the future with a white picket fence around
your mansion on a hilltop. But you won’t have one thing, Lizzie.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Me.”
Chapter Five
The next morning, after a sleepless night full of tears and confusion, Liz walked out of the bedroom and saw Jason sitting on the couch, staring at the frosty window pane. It appeared as though he’d gotten as much sleep as she did. He nursed a cup of coffee and didn’t even acknowledge her presence.
On the table next to him lay a set of keys.
Carefully, he placed the cup of coffee on the end table and turned to face her. “Sooner or later, you’re going to have to choose,” he said softly. “You can’t have us both, and I’ve never been particularly good at sharing.”
“I never said I could have you both.”
“I can do it again, though,” he continued as if she hadn’t spoke, switching his train of thought so fast she couldn’t keep up.
“Do what?”
“Let you go.”
“I can’t do this to Patrick. He loves me, too, Jason, and I don’t want to repeat the same mistake I made with you. As much as it hurts to say this, I have to go.” During the night, her anger at his inability to budge chaffed her. Combined with the lack of sleep, she felt the hysteria rising in her chest.
“Get dressed. I’m taking you back to town,” he ordered.
“What?”
“You heard me,” he shot, obviously annoyed. “Get dressed so I can take you back to town. I might not feel so generous in ten minutes.”
“Why are you doing this?”
His stone cold gaze narrowed on her. “You’ve got a wedding to get to.”
Silently, he scooped up the keys and tossed them toward her.
“Did you get my car?” But those weren’t her keys.
“It’s to the snowmobile parked outside.”
“How did you get one?”
He gave a derisive chuckle, as if he shared a joke with himself. “It’s been here the whole time.”
“I had a way to get back to town, and you didn’t tell me?”
“Nope.”
“How dare you!”
My One True Love Page 3
