by Lee Wardlow
“Good,” Sophie declared.
“I’m going to stay until she’s finished so I can check her before she leaves.”
She knew it was her dad who rubbed his hand across her arm, trying to comfort her. Nothing soothed the pain though. She remembered having her tonsils out when she was little. She didn’t know how old she was, but she was sick from the anesthesia. He had held her in an uncomfortable chair all night, rocking her tiny body until she could sleep.
“Daddy,” she whispered.
“What?”
“Remember when I had my tonsils out?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled, trying to keep his deep, booming, voice soft.
“I wish I could crawl into your lap and you could make everything okay like you did then,” she told him.
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Me too, baby girl.”
Jodi and Madge returned a few minutes later. They unhooked the line from her port. They gave her pain meds for the migraine. “She’s going to be very sleepy, boys.”
“I’m already sleepy,” she informed Madge.
Jodi and Madge helped Sophie into a wheelchair. “We’ll help you get her in the car. Then you’re on your own. Any questions?” Jodi asked.
“We’re good,” Brad replied.
Madge pushed her to the entrance while her dad got the car. Jodi and Madge helped Sophie get into the backseat. She laid down and Jodi covered her with the blanket. She was shivering. She took off her chemo hat and handed it to Brad.
“I can’t handle it on my head, right now. It even hurts. If I had hair, it would hurt too.”
Brad chuckled but it wasn’t a happy sound. Neither man was aware that she went through this every time Sophie got chemo and it was breaking their hearts.
“I feel terrible Sophie.”
“Why?”
“Because I was so hard on you about being grumpy.”
“Dad, don’t. It’s fine. I can’t wallow. I needed that shot in the rump to get myself back on track. Now let me sleep.”
He chuckled. “I still feel bad,” he said to Brad.
“I feel like I should have been doing more,” her father-in-law replied.
“Stop it, you two. You’ve done plenty.”
She pulled the blanket over her head and fell asleep. When they got home, Brad uncovered her. She had been moaning most of the way home. “Come here Sophie. I’ll carry you inside.”
She went into his arms. He lifted her gently and she settled against his broad chest. “You are light as a feather, kiddo.”
She chuckled. “Don’t tell Josh,” she mumbled. “But you are better at this than him.”
She laid her head against his shoulder. Her dad opened the door. He was grumbling at the puppies who needed to go outside. “I see you ladies. Give me a minute.”
Brad laid her down in the bed. “I’ll let Cleo and Delilah out. You help Sophie get settled.”
Duke took her sweatshirt from her leaving her in a tank top and her sweatpants. He covered her with the weighted blanket when she turned to her side.
“Why is this thing so heavy?” He asked.
“I have a lot of pain in my legs from the chemo. It helps ease the pain.”
She felt the mattress dip next to her and she opened her eyes. “Mind if I sit here with you?” Her dad asked.
“Nope,” she replied and closed her eyes.
Eventually, she moved and laid her head in his lap. He ran his fingers across her bare head not sure if he was helping but wanting to touch her just the same. Then he moved his hand to her shoulder. Sophie was sleeping but restlessly when Brad came to the bedroom.
“Hungry?” He asked Duke.
“No. Brad, this breaks my heart,” he said to his friend.
“I know Duke,” he replied. She opened one eye and saw Brad sit by the window in the chair that Josh usually occupied if he wasn’t on the bed with her.
He leaned over and picked up the girls holding them both in his lap. They were content while he rubbed their ears. “I’ve loved that girl since she started coming to my house with Josh.”
“I’m not dead, you guys,” she grumbled at them.
Brad snorted.
Her dad sniffed, and she knew that he was crying. “I’ve been avoiding this Sophie.”
That was her dad’s way, always had been. When her grandpa died, he wouldn’t look in the casket even though her mom had begged him to say goodbye to his father. He wanted to avoid that moment that he could never get back and months later, he had regretted it like her mom knew he would.
Duke caressed Sophie’s shoulder. She relaxed with his touch on her skin. It was comforting like it had been when she was a child, sick in the hospital. Her throat on fire and raw. Feeling sick to her stomach. She had just wanted her Daddy. This moment was good for them. Comforting to her now like it had been then.
“You will be okay when this is done, right baby girl?” He asked, his voice husky with emotion.
“Yes,” she promised him. She glanced up at him to see if he was all right.
“I don’t think I could bare it any other way.” He wiped his hand across his face but there was still a wetness that was left behind.
Sophie sat up and pain shot through her head. She let the dizzy feeling subside then she wiped away her father’s tears with her fingertips. “I love you Daddy. So much.”
He pulled her into his arms and held her close. “Love you too,” he whispered. Both men were emotional now. Duke held Sophie not moving, letting her head rest against his chest. He was comforted as much by holding his daughter as she was by being held.
Josh came home at one to see how she was. He stood in the doorway and gazed at his wife her head resting against her father’s chest, his chin on her head, slightly snoring. She opened her eyes and caught him staring at them.
“Hey,” she whispered.
“How’s the head?”
“Bad,” she responded.
“Nausea?”
“Hasn’t started yet. Maybe I’ll get lucky this time.”
Her dad stretched and yawned. “I’m going to the kitchen for coffee and some lunch.”
Brad went with him. Sophie slid down in the bed. The puppies whimpered at the side of the bed, so Josh put them up on the bed with Sophie. He slipped in beside her.
“Joshua has the flu,” he told her.
“Oh no. Is he okay?”
“They are giving him pain and fever reducer every four hours. Bathing him in lukewarm water if the fever doesn’t reduce with the over the counter medicine. Lots of fluids. That’s all they can do. Heath and Hannah are worried about you catching it,” Josh told her.
She shrugged. “There’s nothing we can do now.”
Chapter 18
Josh
Chemo not only made Sophie sick. It destroyed her immune system, so she often avoided the grocery store. Josh or Ally did all their grocery shopping. She had stopped going to work because the exhaustion was just too overwhelming. He had to admit that he was surprised when she told him that she wanted to quit the landscaping business they had worked so hard to build.
She had spent the night throwing up just like always. Now she was quiet. Sleeping with the dogs curled into her body resting like she was. He had the television on low, watching the big game. He was also looking at some of her sketches. Josh had to admit that she was still good at it even though it had been years since she had put pencil to drawing paper.
There was a sweet drawing of Joshua that she had done from a photo on her phone. She had always had an eye for taking photos too. He flipped through and found several of himself. One that was a little risky that he didn’t want anyone to see. He was sleeping but the sheets were pulled low on his hips. She liked drawing him. She always had.
He flipped through some more and found some interesting perspective drawings. Buildings that required angles that had to be perfect. They looked like they could jump off the page.
He glanced at the screen and saw Brian drop b
ack and throw a long pass. The receiver dropped it. It was third and eight. They were ahead by only three points in the fourth quarter with eight minutes to go. They needed a score. He groaned. Sophie groaned and moved her legs around. They must be hurting her.
His phone buzzed on the table. He grabbed it to keep from disturbing Soph. “Hello,” he said to his son on the other end.
“Hey Dad.”
“Wow, you sound bad.”
“Yeah, Grandpa is coming to get Joshua who is feeling much better. Kids bounce back much faster than adults. Temperature broke last night. He’s bouncing around like a little monkey. Hannah and me, not doing so hot.”
Sophie, he realized was awake. “How’s the baby?” She asked him.
“He’s fine. Hannah and Heath are ill now.”
“Oh no.” Her eyes closed.
“Mom sends her condolences to you.” He chuckled. Sophie smiled. “Which Grandpa is coming?”
“Your dad,” Heath replied. “Grandpa Duke just isn’t much help to Grandma until he gets that shoulder looked at.”
“Isn’t he doing that next week?” Josh asked.
“Tuesday, I think. If it needs surgery we’re screwed.”
“No, you aren’t Heath. Micki will help Mom and Dad with Joshua until Duke is back in business.”
“She will,” Sophie croaked.
“Need some water?” Josh asked her.
“Throat hurts,” she moaned. He felt her forehead. She was warm. “Heath, gotta get Mom some water and probably some fever reducer would be good too.”
“Oh, no,” he said. “Dad, I’m so sorry.”
“Heath, you didn’t know Joshua was sick. Take care of yourself. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
He went to the kitchen and grabbed ice water and fever reducer. He helped Sophie sit so she could take it. “That sucks.”
“What does?” Josh asked her.
“My throat hurts worse when I swallow.”
Josh washed his hands and sat down beside her on the bed. “Who is winning?” She asked keeping her eyes closed and the blanket pulled up to her chin.
“Camden, by only three points. Five minutes left in the game. The other team has the ball.” He couldn’t keep the excitement out of his tone.
“Who is number one?” Sophie asked.
“Who else?” Josh asked as if she would know.
She groaned at him. “How should I know, Josh. I know nothing of football. Remember?”
“Alabama.”
“Oh. That one guy you all are always talking about that you don’t like because he’s always winning,” she said.
He was surprised she knew that much. “Yeah, that guy,” he agreed with her. “The coach.”
“I got that much.”
Sophie was quiet again. He touched her periodically until she got frustrated with him. “Josh, my temperature hasn’t changed in the last ten minutes.”
“Sorry.”
His eyes glued to the television once again. The other team turned over the ball on downs. There was three minutes left in the game. A long time with only a three, point lead. He laid the drawing pad on the nightstand.
“Like my drawings?” She asked, her teeth were chattering now.
“Yes, I do. You’re still really good.”
“Thank you.”
Josh shushed Sophie, so he could watch Brian take the team back out on the field. He hoped they could hold the ball for most of the three minutes and score.
“Thanks Josh.”
“Sorry babe. This is the final game of the season. The winner takes the Big Ten. They will be in the play-offs for sure. It’s an important game.”
He saw her shake her head and burrow further under the blankets. “Warm enough?”
“No,” she grumbled.
Brian ran a running play for four yards. Second down and six. He ran a no huddle offense which Josh didn’t understand. He thought they should be trying to run time off the clock. He laid his hand on Sophie’s hip, feeling the shivers of her body through the heavy blanket. He glanced at her face. She was relaxed so he turned back to the television.
Brian stayed in the pocket. He had excellent coverage. He threw the ball downfield twenty-five yards to his favorite wide receiver who stayed in bounds to keep the clock running.
“Man, that kid can throw.”
“Wonderful,” Sophie muttered.
“Sorry, babe. I love you.”
She grunted in response.
“Can I get you anything?” Josh asked. “You haven’t eaten since yesterday morning, before chemo.”
“No.”
He turned back to the television. They were winding down to two minutes left in the game. Josh was leaning forward on his knees ready to bite his nails he was so nervous. They were on the forty-nine, yard line. Brian’s center, a big man nearly three pounds with solid hands snapped the ball, Brian bobbled it then recovered. He stayed in the pocket and threw for ten yards and the air whooshed out of Josh.
“Breath, Josh. It’s just a game,” she teased him. “Camden has never even been one of your favorite teams has it?”
Truthfully, Camden hadn’t even been on Josh’s radar, but he had a vested interest now that Ally was dating Brian. He liked the kid too.
The announcers were talking about Brian’s poise after three years at the helm of Camden University’s Football team. They talked about whether this was his last year at Camden.
“I thought he was just a junior?” Sophie suddenly was awake.
“He is,” Josh replied. “He can leave college early and enter the draft.”
“Talk in English, Josh,” Sophie grumbled.
“The NFL Draft. He could leave early if he thinks he’ll go higher this year than after his senior year. The higher the draft pick, the more money he will be offered to play pro.”
She groaned miserably and rolled to her right side, facing away from Josh. “He’s that good?” She asked.
“He’s that good,” Josh replied. “You okay, babe?”
“No, I’m miserable to begin with Josh now I’m getting the flu to add to my misery.” She got quiet for a few minutes. “There was a twenty-four-year-old woman starting treatment yesterday. It about broke my heart. Her brother brought her.”
He did a double take at his wife, then glanced back at the screen to see a fake then a ten-yard pass to a tight end. First and ten on the thirty-nine, yard line in their own territory. They could at least kick a field goal from here. He’d seen Camden’s field goal kicker do them from this distance.
One minute fifty to go.
The next few plays were running plays to run time off the clock. Each one gaining only a few yards until they were back to first and ten. They were on the twenty-nine, yard line now.
“Where’s her parents?” Josh asked, distracted by the play on the field, now down to one minute and ten seconds.
“Australia,” Sophie mumbled.
Australia? He watched the play. Brian got shut down. “Australia, like they are from Australia and the kids are living here?” Josh asked.
Sophie glanced over shoulder at him. Her eyes were getting bleary with fever. He felt her forehead. She felt hotter if that was possible. “No, like they are on vacation,” she explained.
He frowned then watched the next play. “They scheduled a trip during their daughter’s first chemo treatment?”
Sophie shrugged. “Maybe the tickets were non-refundable.”
Brian couldn’t move the ball. They had to take a shot at a field goal. The kicker made the field goal without any difficulty giving Camden a six-point, lead but they were giving the ball back to the other team with one minute to go.
“I would have taken the hit, you know.”
“Me too.” Sophie’s voice was barely above a whisper.
Josh didn’t ask any more questions about the young woman. What was there to ask? He didn’t understand leaving their young daughter to face her first chemo appointment alone. Sophie had an army of support
. He loved that about his family and hers.
They were already discussing walking in the Race Against Breast Cancer in the Fall of next year. Hannah and Kai were designing shirts for Team Sophie. If she wasn’t strong enough to make the three-mile walk, he would get a wheelchair for her but knowing his wife she would fight that idea.
It might be too soon for her body to have fully regained its strength, but she wanted to be there. She wanted to walk that finish line even though Sophie might only be cancer free for five months. Deandra had given her details about the walk. She would be there with Will and her team of supporters too.
The game resumed. Camden’s team kicked off and the return by the other team was five yards at best. Sophie rolled back to her left side facing him. She slipped her hand across his thigh and he grasped it firmly in his.
She was so warm. She was going to have to be careful around the kids when she saw them until she was done with chemo. He rubbed his thumb across the top of her hand while he watched the game.
First play, they got nothing. Josh mumbled yes beneath his breath trying to keep quiet for Sophie’s sake. Second play they held them to four yards on a running play. The station kept playing to the nervous face of Brian Wilkes as he watched the clock running out on the scoreboard. Then they flashed to Brian’s family in the seats pointing out his mother, father and brothers. Josh saw his daughter looking nervous, standing by Brian’s mom.
“Sophie, Ally was just on television.”
“Good for her,” Sophie mumbled.
He chuckled at his wife then touched her cheek again. She slapped his hand away. “Josh,” she warned him.
“I’m sorry baby. I’m just worried about you.”
“My fever hasn’t broken yet,” she grumbled.
“We should probably take your temperature,” Josh suggested glancing back at the television.
Second and seven. They lost a yard on that play. Camden’s defense was on fire. The clock ran down to forty seconds. There wasn’t much time left. The other team might get off two more plays on downs if Camden could hold them.
“Think we should have a thermometer here at the house?” he suggested.
“Probably,” Sophie mumbled.
“Maybe I can get Dad to get one for us, so I don’t have to leave you.”
