Table of Contents
Title Page
Author's Note
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Author’s Bio
OH NO, OUR BEST FRIEND IS A ZOMBIE
Lance Zarimba
Featherweight Press
www.featherweightpublishing.com
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Copyright 2010 by Lance Zarimba
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.
Published by
Featherweight Press
3052 Gaines Waterport Rd.
Albion, NY 14411
Visit Featherweight Press on the Internet:
www.featherweightpublishing.com
Cover Design by Deana Jamroz
Cover art by Dan Skinner
Editing by Lindsay Ketchen
ISBN# 978-1-60820-225-6
Issued 2010
Author’s Note
I always thought that writing a book was the hard part. Ha. That was the easy part. The hard parts are the edits and the rewrites and the self doubt. So many people have helped me bring this dream to life. First, I want to thank my nephew Matthew Zarimba, who helped me come up with the idea for this series. Then I would like to thank Georgia Totten, Thea Miller Ryan, Nancy Steedle and Amy Holm (Writer’s Without A Clause) for their critique on the first draft of this book. Next comes Laura Baumbach for her faith in my writing, Lindsay Ketchen for her editing help, and Deanna Jamroz and Dan Skinner for the wonderful cover. Pat Dennis and Marilyn Victor for being the sounding board I need and the best traveling companions anyone could have. Dennis Peterson, Paul McKenzie, and Ripley for all their support at home. Grandpa, Grandma, and Riley, I miss you. And thanks to my family (Mom and Jim, Dad and Cheryl, Lorrie, Heather and Joel, Trent and Jess, Aidan and Jacob) for suffering with all my tall tales growing up. Aren’t you glad I scared the heck out of you?
Thank you all and so many more…
Lance
Chapter One
It all started Saturday night at the library. My best friend Nick Storm and I went to see the Amazing Zoltan, a hypnotist. He asked for a volunteer from the audience, and I sat on my hands and avoided his eyes. But my best friend, Nick, raised his hand.
The Amazing Zoltan wore a black shiny suit and a cape. He looked like a cross between a magician and a cartoon villain. He even had the thin moustache. It looked like he drew it on his face with a magic marker instead of growing it naturally like my dad’s. My dad had a full moustache, and he trimmed it every day.
The Amazing Zoltan wore a black top hat on his head. He smiled as he motioned for Nick to join him on the stage.
“Come on Matthew,” Nick said. “We’ll have fun.” He tried to get me to go with him, but I wasn’t going to get up there in front of all of those people. I shook my head and turned to look out the window.
“Chicken?” Little Cody Johnson said. His bulldog face looked like he ran into the fence and his neck was squished down into his body. His stubby legs and arms stuck out of his barrel-shaped body. Little Cody was the bully in our class. He thought he was too cool for everyone else. But if he was so cool, why was he here doing the same thing we were doing? How cool could he be?
Nick stepped up onto the platform and turned to face Zoltan. “I’m ready,” he said.
The Amazing Zoltan reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a gold watch on a long chain. He swung it in front of Nick’s face like the pendulum of our grandfather clock at home. “Keep your eye on the watch. See it spin, see it swing, back and forth, back and forth. You are getting sleepy, sleepy.”
Nick’s eyes widened and moved back and forth, following the watch. His body swayed as the watch swung. Slowly, his eyelids grew heavy and his swaying slowed down.
“You will fall asleep, and stay there with your eyes closed.” The Amazing Zoltan waited as Nick’s body slowed and finally stopped.
“What is your name?” Zoltan asked.
“Nick.”
“Nick, are you asleep?” Zoltan slipped the watch back into his pocket.
“Yes,” Nick said, with a robotic-sounding voice.
“Open your eyes,” Zoltan said.
Nick’s eyes slowly opened. He stood still and stared straight ahead.
The Amazing Zoltan turned to his audience. “Watch and see what we can get Nick to do,” he winked and turned back to him. “Nick, my nose is running, do you have a handkerchief?”
Nick reached into his pocket, pulled out a blue handkerchief, and handed it to Zoltan. Nick’s mother always made him carry a handkerchief because of his allergies.
Waving it in the air, Zoltan pretended to blow his nose, and slipped it into his pocket. “Now, Nick, cluck like a chicken.”
Nick not only started clucking like a chicken but he started to walk like one as well. His head bobbed back and forth and then looked side to side.
“Bark like a dog,” Zoltan instructed.
Dropping down to his knees, Nick barked and wagged his backside as if he had a tail.
I laughed as Nick barked and acted like a dog. I tried to catch his eyes and see if he was playing along, but when he turned and looked right at me, he didn’t blink or nod or anything. He didn’t seem to even see me.
“Dance like a ballerina,” Zoltan said.
Nick raised one arm over his head and rose up onto his tiptoes. He danced in a perfect circle on his toes, difficult in high-top sneakers.
The crowd laughed and cheered as he spun, faster and faster.
“Is there anything that you’d like me to turn Nick into?” the hypnotist asked.
All right, I’ll admit it. I said it. But I didn’t mean to say it. It just burst out of my mouth. “Make him into a Zombie,” I said. My hand flew up to my mouth to try and stick the words back in, but it was too late. They had escaped.
The crowd joined in, “Zombie, Zombie, Zombie.”
Little Cody Johnson turned to me and smiled. “Matthew, I didn’t think you had it in you. That was good.” His small, even teeth gleamed as his mouth curled into an evil smile. The look made me feel as though a stake had been stabbed through my heart. “You’re starting to think like me.”
I’d rather he gave me a black eye or a fat lip than say that I was like him. I felt bad doing that to my best friend. How could I turn him into a Zombie? What was I thinking?
Zoltan smiled and said, “Nick, you are a Zombie.” And with those words, I lost my best friend.
Nick’s body went rigid and stiff. He didn’t move his neck and his arms rose up, straight out in front of him. His brown eyes stared blankly at nothing, seemingly unaware of anything around him. Nick walked stiff-legged around the stage and grunted a few times.
“Should we wake him up?” Zoltan asked.
The crowd cheered, “Yes,” as they clapped their hands.
Little Cody yelled, “No. Leave him that way.”
I turned and glared at him.
“Okay, Nick, on the count of three, I want you to wake up. One, two, three.” Zoltan snapped his fingers.
Nick stopped stiff walking and smiled. “So when are we going to start?”
The crowd roared with laughter.
Nick looked confused, “What?
” He looked at me, and I waved him to come back. He shrugged his shoulders and pushed through the crowd. “That was lame.”
“What was?” I asked.
“The Amazing Zoltan. He said he was going to hypnotize me, and then he doesn’t. I walk up there and then he just sends me right back down.”
I looked at him, surprised. “Nick, you were hypnotized.”
“No I wasn’t,” he said. “I would have known if I was hypnotized.”
I stretched out my arm and showed him my Spiderman watch.
Nick blinked his eyes, trying to make them understand what they were seeing. “I wasn’t up there that long? Was I?”
I nodded my head yes.
Cody walked by. “Cluck like a chicken.” He put his hands under his arms and flapped his arms. “Cluck, cluck, cluck.” He laughed. “Now, be a Zombie, your best friend turned you into that one.”
My face burned red and hot with embarrassment at Cody’s revelation.
Cody’s arms and legs stiffened as he staggered out the front door of the library.
“He’s such a jerk,” Nick said. “Come on, let’s go get some ice cream on the way home.”
We walked in silence for a few blocks, before Nick turned to me. “Cody was lying, wasn’t he?” He shook his head. “Sorry, Matthew, I know you’d never ask to have me turned into a Zombie.”
I swallowed hard and continued walking.
Nick brought his hand to his throat and rubbed it. “Man, I feel funny. My throat is so dry it feels like I was buried alive, like I was inside a coffin for a hundred years.” Nick coughed and coughed. Nick stopped coughing and laughed. “Coffin, coughing, get it?”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Come on Matthew, it was a joke. Laugh.”
I forced a few ha, ha’s.
“It isn’t the coughing that carries you off, it’s the coffin they carry you off in.” He pushed my shoulder. “Race you to the ice cream.” And he took off running.
Nick pushed away his double, double chocolate chip ice cream and set his plastic spoon down.
“Don’t you want any more? You hardly ate any.” I looked into the melting sundae on the table.
Nick rubbed his head and stood up. “I’m ready to go home.”
I took one more bite of vanilla and joined him. “Wait up.”
Nick continued slowly through the door and turned toward home.
“I can call my dad and have him come pick us up,” I offered.
“Nah,” Nick said. “We’re only a few blocks away.” Nick didn’t speak the rest of the way home. He moved slower and slower as we neared our street.
Nick and I lived side by side in similar homes. The houses were identical except for the color, and they were built to be the mirror opposite of each other.
Nick lived in the white one, and I lived in the blue.
“See you tomorrow?” I called.
“Maybe,” Nick said, and that was the last word I heard him speak for a very long time.
Chapter Two
“How was the Amazing Zoltan?” Dad asked as he sat up on the couch. His glasses were pushed up on the top of his head as he read and watched television at the same time.
Dad wouldn’t let me do that with my glasses, but I wasn’t going to question him. “Zoltan was a lot of fun. He hypnotized Nick.” I slipped my hands into my pockets and rocked back and forth on my feet, unsure of what I was feeling.
“He did? I can just imagine Nick up there. He’s always so outgoing. I’m sure he was very funny. What did Zoltan have him do?” Dad motioned for me to come join him on the couch.
I stopped rocking and walked over to the couch and sat down. “He turned him into a chicken and a ballerina and a…” But I couldn’t bring myself to say Zombie.
“And a what?” Dad asked, sitting back as he tried to look into my eyes.
“Oh, a bunch of things.” I turned and faced my father. “Dad, do you have any movies about Zombies?”
“Matthew, that’s a strange request,” Dad said.
“Ah, it’s a homework assignment. We talked about Zombies, but it never really said what they were, so I wanted to know more about them. Horror movies make them into flesh-eating monsters, but is that what they really are?”
Dad ran his fingers through his hair. “I know I don’t have any documentaries, but we could go to the library tomorrow and see if they have anything.”
I kicked at the floor. Dad owned a huge collection of DVDs and videotapes, and he loved old horror movies. I knew he had a few Zombie movies in there. Our family would have movie night often, but some movies were too scary and violent for me (or so Mom said) but I hoped Dad would understand this one time.
“You’re only twelve, that’s a little young for some of those movies. Besides, those Zombies eat people. The real Zombies didn’t.”
“So what was a real Zombie?”
“They were more like slaves that someone controlled, not the monsters that the movies make them out to be. Matthew, are you planning on scaring your friends on a sleepover?” His eyes narrowed.
My face began to feel really warm.
“Have you been watching movies that you shouldn’t be? I know when you sleep over at Nick or Jake’s house, I hope that…”
“Dad, I know the rules. Jake and Nick’s parents have the same ones. So you don’t have to worry about that.” I swallowed hard and crossed my fingers behind my back.
All right, I’ll admit it. I snuck out of bed when my older brother, Ryan, was watching something I couldn’t. I watched from the shadows, as the music got louder and louder. I couldn’t look away, but I didn’t want to see more. If it hadn’t been for Chief, my Sheltie, I would’ve been fine. His cold nose touched my arm. I shrieked and ran back to bed so fast. I scared myself with what I saw, but Chief’s nose scared me more.
Dad stood up and walked over to his video collection. He opened and then closed the door. “It’s getting pretty late, maybe you could watch one tomorrow.”
I rolled my eyes.
“You won’t be able to fall asleep,” Dad warned, interrupted by the phone ringing. “I bet that is your mother.” Dad ran into the kitchen to answer it.
I snuck over to the video cabinet and opened it. I read the titles and stopped. I Walk with a Zombie stood in the center of the row. I pulled it out and groaned; it was a black and white movie. They were so boring and so slow. Besides, who could watch a movie without color? They didn’t even have special effects. There wouldn’t be lasers shooting out of their eyes or huge explosions. Oh, well.
Dad answered the phone.
I pulled the tape out of the box and put the case back into place. I slipped the tape into my pants. The movie wasn’t even on DVD. My shoulders slumped as I headed to my room.
Dad called after me. “Bedtime in an hour.”
“Okay,” I said as I slipped the tape out of my pants. It wouldn’t have any digital tricks, no mutant aliens or that stuff, but maybe I’d learn what a Zombie was or did.
“Thanks, Dad,” I said, and headed to my bedroom. I closed my door and walked to my DVD/VCR. This was the first time I used the VHS side, at least I couldn’t remember using it before. The tape slipped in and I waited, not sure what to expect.
The movie seemed simple enough. Jungle drums beat as the sugar cane rustled in the wind. Sticks clicked together and sounded like bones knocking against each other. In the movie, a nurse goes to Haiti to take care of a woman who had been struck by a fever, and walked around like she was asleep. Instead of medicine, the nurse decided to use voodoo to help her.
My blanket covered my head and back as the two women walked through the sugar cane and ran into a Zombie. The man had eyes that didn’t see. His body was stiff and leaned forward. He didn’t smile or talk. His eyelids didn’t blink. He was the walking dead. I swallowed hard as the women slowly walked around the Zombie and continued on their way.
My bedroom door flew open. I jumped back, pulling the blanket over my head.
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br /> Chief jumped into my lap and tried to dig his way under the covers.
“Bedtime,” Dad said and laughed at me fighting with my blankets. “Is that movie a little more scary than you thought?” Dad picked up the remote and turned off the television.
“It’s almost done,” I complained. “How did you know I took the movie and was watching it?”
“I was young once, too. Go wash up and brush your teeth. Your mom will be home soon, and you’d better be asleep before she gets home from the hospital.”
“Oh, Dad, she won’t be home until midnight. Can’t I just finish the movie?”
“You can finish it tomorrow after church. Or you could get up early and finish it then.”
“But I won’t be able to sleep unless I know how it ends.”
“That’s a chance I’ll have to take. Scoot.” Dad motioned to the bathroom. “Chief, make him brush his teeth.”
Chief looked at my dad and barked once. He nodded his head and poked me in the side with his wet nose.
“Okay, okay. I’m going.” Chief and I tromped off to the bathroom and washed up.
As we returned to my bedroom, Chief raced ahead of me, jumped onto the bed, and dove for my pillow. He turned around a few times and made a nest for himself with the covers and the pillow. His small head popped up as he waited for me to climb in with him.
I looked at the clock. It was past my bedtime, but I wanted to finish the movie tonight.
“Matthew, bedtime,” my dad called from downstairs.
“Okay, Dad,” I called, slipping into my pajamas. I knew I’d have to wrestle my pillow away from Chief. That was his favorite place to sleep.
I turned off my bedroom light and headed to my bed. I glanced over to Nick’s bedroom, which was across the yard. Some nights before bedtime, we would shine our flashlights into each other’s rooms to send secret messages. I glanced over at his window. The lights were still on and the curtains were open
Nick sat in his bed, looking straight ahead.
I grabbed my flashlight from the windowsill and gave Nick our special signal, two quick flashes from the mag light.
But he didn’t turn his head. He didn’t look over at my house. He didn’t even blink.
Oh No, Our Best Friend is a Zombie! Page 1
