“Yeah, if I don’t get my grades up, I’m going to need all the brownie points I can muster.”
“You too?”
“Yeah, not trashed yet, but… I can’t concentrate.”
“I get it. We need to buckle down more. Maybe not video chat every night.”
“Not sure if my balls can handle that.”
“Well, if you want to get into a good college and I want to keep my graduation date, we have to pass our classes.”
Liam patted Cody’s thigh as he got up. “Okay, back to civilization and homework.”
Cody grasped Liam’s hand and pulled him back down, attacking Liam’s lips.
Liam pulled back but stayed within Cody’s arms. “We have to go.”
“I know. Just don’t wanna.” Cody buried his head in Liam’s neck. “I think I love you.”
Liam took in a sharp breath, then let it all click into place. “I know I love you.”
Cody looked up. “Really?”
“Really.”
Cody nodded. “Then I know I love you.” They sat there for good long minutes, soaking each other in.
Liam reluctantly got up, then offered his hand to Cody and pulled him up as well. Without saying anything else, they grabbed their packs and equipment and headed back to the car, back to a life where they had to hide what they felt.
“DID YOU have a good time, honey?” Liam’s mom yelled out from the kitchen as Liam came through the front door.
“Had a wonderful time. Enjoyed nature. Saw a family of ducks and tons of squirrels and rabbits. Even a raccoon wandered near to the campsite, looking for food. We fed him a bit of a hot dog.”
“He wasn’t rabid, I hope.”
Liam entered the kitchen, placing the cooler on the kitchen table. “No, Mom, he was perfectly healthy. He scurried off after we fed him.”
Liam’s mom gave him a peck on the cheek. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Did you have enough to eat?”
Liam nodded. “Not much left, but we didn’t starve. Thanks for packing a bunch of food for us.”
“Did you boys make the trail hike?”
“Yep and Cody took some great pictures. He’s got a gift for photography.”
“You’ll have to share some with me when he posts them.”
“I will.” Liam picked a couple of grapes from the bowl on the counter. “Thanks again for letting us go. Cody said he’d never seen such beautiful country.”
“It is spectacular this time of year. God’s work at its finest. Did you share prayers this morning?”
Liam ducked his head. While there were certainly a lot of “oh my Gods” and “yes Jesus” talk going around, he wouldn’t exactly call it prayer. “Yes, we started the morning thankful for everything.” Liam was surprised how easily the half-truth slid off his tongue.
“Good. While I don’t condone missing church, once in a while, enjoying what God has given us is fine.” Sarah placed a pan of muffins in the oven. “Pile your dirty clothes next to the washer.”
“Actually, we had stuffed our dirty clothes in one bag. They were pretty muddy. Cody said he’d wash everything up and give it all back to me at school.”
“Oh, okay. Less work for me.”
Liam shuffled his feet. Muddy wasn’t the exact word he’d use if he was going to be truthful, but it wasn’t all a lie. They did get some mud on them on the hiking trail. “Well, thank you again. I’m going to go upstairs and finish up a bit of homework.”
“Now don’t get behind. Remember your grades have to come first before anything else.”
“Yes, ma’am. Off to study.” Liam gave his mom a quick kiss on the cheek before heading up to his room.
Late afternoon sunshine filtered through the curtains, tiny dust particles illuminated by the light. It was quiet. He knew his dad was downstairs watching a football game, but he must have the sound down. He could just barely make out his mom fussing around in the kitchen. He sat on his bed, alone with his thoughts.
He had never been happier than that past weekend. He and Cody had explored each other, becoming as intimate with each other except for actual penetration. He didn’t think he was ready for that. Besides, he had no clue what to do. His parents had never monitored his Internet browsing history, but he didn’t want to risk it. His laptop was always out in the open, for use by his mother too for that rare occasion of looking up a recipe or finding an answer to something that didn’t warrant booting up her own, very ancient, PC. He was lucky his IM program allowed him to erase without leaving a trace, even though his parents didn’t know how to use the software. No use tempting fate. And in no way was he going to install third-party software that would allow him to record his Skype conversations. That was really asking for trouble.
No, he’d let Cody do the Internet research. What Liam wouldn’t give to live in a much more liberal household, but he really couldn’t complain too loudly. His parents did trust him and were letting him have more freedom now that he was sixteen. Wouldn’t be long now before he was able to drive on his own. He just had to pass the driver’s education class and take the driving test and who knows? Maybe his parents would allow him to drive his mom’s car to the new mall or to school when she didn’t need it.
He shucked off his boots and tossed them in the corner. He lay down on the bed and closed his eyes, reliving bits and pieces of the past two days. He and Cody had had one last quickie in the car before they had hit the road, so he was sated for now. He wanted to set each moment in his memory so he could drag them up whenever he needed. After a few moments, he rolled over and grabbed his history textbook from the floor where he’d dumped it Friday afternoon. If he had any chance of living his own life, he needed to keep up the grades to get a scholarship out of here.
He spent a couple hours on history, ran down to dinner, then back up to his bedroom to finish calculus. He and Cody had agreed not to skype that evening, but damn, it was getting hard not to open the program. He still had two chapters to read in biology when his Skype alert went off. Liam stared at the laptop sitting on his desk across the room. He tried to ignore it, trying to focus on the difference between meiosis and mitosis, but the words kept swimming together. The alert went off again. Liam put the book down, swearing he’d answer and talk to Cody for just a few minutes. Just talk, he told himself. He sat down on his desk and clicked the Skype icon.
“Hey.”
“What up?”
“I know we agreed to a night off, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I was washing our clothes and just a sniff of your t-shirt and I was kinda lost.”
“Damn, why didn’t I think of that?”
“Think of what?”
“Taking one of your shirts. Oh my God, it wouldn’t be like you were here, but it’d be something. When you bring my clothes tomorrow, can I have one of your dirty tees?”
“As long as I can keep the one I, uh, used?”
Liam snorted. “Sure.”
“So, homework?”
“Yeah, finished history and calc, on to biology. Have to finish two chapters tonight and I’ll be caught up. Not quite understanding it, but I’m making notes so I can ask questions. Maybe my attentiveness to the material will give me brownie points with the teach. Last test wasn’t so hot.”
“Do your parents check your grades?”
“Fortunately, no. They get the final grades at the end of the semester, but they never check in during. So as long as I pull things up in the next few weeks, I’ll be good.”
“I’ll let you get back to it.”
“Miss you.”
“Miss you too.”
“Night.” Liam clicked the program off before he said any more, asked for anything more. That talk about what Cody did with his shirt—yeah, he was way more than just turned on. Damn he had it bad.
Chapter Nine
BETWEEN KEEPING his grades up, football practice and games, and almost nightly video chat sessions with Cody, Liam was barely holding it together. He kept checking himself
every time he was around Cody. He wanted to touch him so bad, he physically ached at the end of the school day. If it weren’t for the brutal practices Coach put them through, making him exhausted, he probably would slip up.
Other than extreme quickies in Cody’s car when he’d drive Liam home, they never had any time to physically be together. It was driving Liam crazy.
It was the end of October, and the football team was undefeated. It was the best record Liam’s school had ever had. Cody was definitely the rising star, eclipsing even the quarterback. And after each game, Liam relished the opportunity to hug Cody in public, as it was acceptable after a win. He wondered what he’d do if they ever lost. Possibly offer an arm around the shoulder in condolence? He hoped they’d keep the winning streak so the once-a-week hugs would keep on coming.
It was Monday morning after yet another win and Cody came up to Liam, slapping him on the back. “Liam, my man, how’s it goin’?”
Liam cringed. He hated the macho bullshit that Cody put on. But it was necessary. “Fine, dude. You?”
“Great news, gonna have a Halloween party. Whole team’s invited. Wanna go?”
Liam’s heart raced. Back to Cody’s house? Do ducks quack? Do drag queens love Spanx? “Sure. Sounds like fun.”
“Friday night, right after the game. Might not want to mention we’ll be watching Nightmare on Elm Street to your mother. Say we’re watching Hocus Pocus. She’ll love that it’s a Disney film.”
“You ain’t kidding. She doesn’t like the holiday much to begin with, but she does acquiesce to giving out candy and putting a jack-o’-lantern on the front porch.”
“Yeah, I can imagine, it being the devil’s night or something like that.”
Liam nodded.
“So, meet for lunch? We can talk more.” The morning bell rang.
“Sure. See ya then.” Liam’s stomach was in knots. He knew Cody was popular, so most of the football team would definitely show up. It was going to be hell not being able to touch Cody while the team gathered, but maybe he could swing an overnight out of the deal.
LIAM SNEERED at the choices for lunch. He was going to have to start bringing his own lunch if the food didn’t improve. He chose the lesser of two evils, a ham and cheese sandwich with fries and some apple slices. He grabbed a milk out of the cooler and wished they’d give a longer lunch period so people could go to the diner for a more palatable meal.
He found Cody already sitting at their table, poking at what was passing for meatloaf. “Hey.” He sat down across from Cody.
“Hey. How’s your morning?”
“Aced the chem lab. Hope the good luck holds for the test tomorrow. You?”
“Eh, got a B+ on my English essay.”
“That’s got to be a relief.”
Liam looked around and saw Matt heading their way. He motioned for Matt to sit down.
“Dudes, how’s it hangin’?” Matt plopped his tray down next to Cody.
“Discussing grades.” Liam opened up his milk.
Matt reached across for the salt. “As long as I keep above a C, I’m doing good.”
“Well, you’re a shoo-in for a football scholarship. The rest of us have to get by on our smarts.”
“Well, Liam, my bro, I’m glad you got the smarts, because I sure don’t. Pure talent.”
“Hope it carries on to college.” Cody smooshed his mashed potatoes around.
“Same here. So Cody, what’s going on at this bash of yours?”
“Scary movies, wings, pizza, ice cream. The usual.”
Matt started shoveling in some french fries. “I heard the entire cheerleading squad is coming. You know Hannah really likes you.”
Cody raised one eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah. She loves your hair. Whatevs.”
Liam felt that ever-present pang of jealousy flare up. Cody was so good at the flirting thing, but no matter how often Cody reassured Liam that the flirting was just a cover, Liam couldn’t help letting the green-eyed monster out, if only for a short moment.
“Well, I will make sure to make some time for Ms. Hannah. Can’t let this hair go to waste.”
“I think the entire team is coming as well. Not much else to do around here. Too old to trick-or-treat, too young to go out bar-hopping.” Matt wolfed down his own ham and cheese sandwich in three bites. “You’re kinda quiet.” Matt nodded to Liam. “Hannah’s best friend is Monica. I could see if Hannah would bring her with.”
Liam thought he was going to lose what little lunch he’d been able to eat thus far. “That’s okay.”
“What’s with you, Hartley? You should have sown some wild oats by now. What, you sweet sixteen and never been kissed?” Matt smirked at him.
Liam wanted to slug the jerk, but that wouldn’t solve anything. He knew he had to defuse the situation. “Monica’s cute. Sure, see if Hannah will bring her. We could do a double date, huh Cody?” The words stung as he said them, but he needed to make sure Matt didn’t suspect a thing.
“Sure thing.” Cody didn’t sound too convincing.
“Hell yeah. I’ll get with Hannah. Heck, maybe she’ll bring her older sister. I so do like older women.”
Liam rolled his eyes. “Her sister is five minutes older. They’re twins.”
“Older is older.” Matt got up. “Gotta split. Mr. Barder needs to see me about my chem lab. I don’t think my experiment was supposed to turn pink.”
Cody made sure Matt was out of earshot before he spoke. “You okay? You played along pretty good.”
“I’m good. I just hate this, all this.”
“I wish—eh, you’d think I’m nuts.”
“What?”
“I wish you could come with me when I leave. Transfer to my school, live with me.”
“Hell, Cody, that is some pie in the sky thinking there.” Liam looked left and right, then leaned closer to Cody. “But I wish that too.”
Cody lowered his voice. “Pretend I’m holding your hand. And that I kissed your palm.”
“Dammit, stop that. Not here.”
“Sorry. I’m just needing, you know, so bad.”
“I was trying to think of a way for me to stay over Friday, stay after the party.”
“Hmmm. My dad has been asked by the landlord to tuck-point the bad spots in the mortar. You know anything about that?”
“Sure. Had to help my dad last year. It’s not difficult.”
“There we have it. Ask to stay over so you can help tuck-point on Saturday. It’s a neighborly thing to do, right?”
“I like that angle. I’ll ask. If my dad calls yours, your dad will back us up?”
“Since he’s not that good at home repairs, I’m pretty sure he’ll love the help.”
The lunch bell rang.
“Okay, great. We have a plan. I’ll ask my parents tonight.” He followed Cody to the conveyor belt. Just before they parted ways, Liam gave a quick whisper to Cody. “And pretend my hand is elsewhere on your body.” He stepped away with Cody’s voice ringing in his ears.
“You’re an ass, Hartley!”
And that folks, was how you said “I love you” without actually saying it.
LIAM WAS pleasantly surprised how easy it was to get permission to stay over at Cody’s. Neither parent questioned his request to stay after the party and help Mr. Williams with the tuck-pointing. Maybe his parents felt sorry for the Williams’s, the family without a church. Liam didn’t know and he certainly wasn’t going to question it. Being with Cody on Friday was going to make Sunday church much more bearable.
Liam closed down his laptop Thursday evening, after having a less-than-satisfying video session with Cody. Each evening they got each other off over the Internet, but with the pressure of the church eating at him and jealousy over Cody’s flirting,it was becoming a struggle to orgasm. Liam needed the touches, Cody’s touches to his body, to get him excited and just seeing Cody over a laptop screen wasn’t doing it. He placed the laptop on the night table and grabbed the w
et washcloth he had put there at the start of their session. At his awkward angle, he knocked his pocketknife off onto the floor.
After cleaning himself off, he picked up the knife. He opened it, the shiny metal catching a glint of the light coming from his bedside lamp. He ran his thumb down the highly sharpened edge. He jumped as a spark of pain nearly shattered his still-hypersensitive nerves. His heart thudded against his chest as a small line of blood formed on his thumb. The pain opened his senses very similar to the way he felt when Cody touched him. He studied the blade, his curiosity peaking. He ran the edge over another part of his thumb, again the pain giving him an almost orgasmic sense of relief. It took a few moments for his heart to calm and his breathing to even. By now, blood had dripped down his thumb, wrapping around his wrist. He put the knife away, then fumbled in his nightstand for a tissue and Band-Aid. He cleaned off the blood, wrapped up his injured digit, and fell back onto the bed. He turned off the lamp and lay there in the darkness, pondering the implications of this newfound release.
THE GAME was close, again, just like all the others. Liam wondered if they could pull off a squeaker, being that this game was their next-town-over rivals. The stands were full and the crowds raucous. He was really regretting his episode with the knife the previous night. Every time he grabbed the ball, the wounds would open up again. He’d already gone through a dozen bandages and had his coach yell at him to be more careful in the kitchen.
Kitchen incident, sure. He could live with that. Liam lined up to punt after a field goal. He botched the hold on the ball because of his thumb and the kick went short. The opposing team recovered with good field position. He wanted to kick himself for being such an idiot.
His teammates were not idiots, and they ended up winning by one. It was the closest game all season, but they pulled it out. And now they were first seed for their region’s playoffs. It was going to be a great night to celebrate.
Some of their classmates were already at Cody’s home when Cody and Liam pulled up. Both of them got pats on the back as they entered.
Flag on the Play Page 8
