by Zi'ere
My dad whispered into my ear, “you really racked up birthday girl, it looks like you’re going to need some new outfits for those new shoes” he ended his words with a kiss to my forehead as he planted me on the floor.
I noticed my duffle bag sitting on the chaise but I was only interested in getting back to sleep. I barely made it out of my dress and shoes before falling face down onto the bed and settling into a deep somber. I couldn’t figure out if it was my head or if the room itself was spinning. I made a decision to slow up on the tequila even though the next day I probably wouldn’t even remember my pact. I was the big three- zero. I was worth millions and I had no friends outside of my bloodline. I started to cry even though I didn’t know why.
6
My room had been redecorated to accommodate my grown woman status but it still slept comfortably. The calming vanilla scent my parent’s home held had been present my entire childhood and still smelled fresh. No matter where I traveled to or how long I stayed away the big house always felt like home. I was guaranteed peaceful rest and tranquility in that space. I awoke the next morning to my drapes being opened by Mom. The bright sun peaked into my bedroom signaling the start of a beautiful day along with her announcement that she had made breakfast. There was a chef on staff for my parents but mom doing her own cooking was definitely reason enough for a quick hustle to the kitchen. I hopped out of bed to complete my morning routine with a shower when my cell phone began to chirp, signaling an incoming text message. Anxiety about two different situations in my life caused me to sprint to the phone but only one person could have made me smile like a teenage girl, Ced.
Ced: gud m beauty
Steph: hi handsome
Ced: whr r u?
Steph: @the big house
Ced: oh, ok cool. can I c u 2day?
Steph: sure, wht time?
Ced: doesn’t matter
Steph: whr r u?
Ced: @the store on Luther St
Steph: roun 11 ok?
Ced: that’s gud 4 me
Steph: c u then
Snapping my fingers to a beat in my head, I danced a little two step into the doors of my walk in closet. My home was quite a distance from my parent’s, making it was necessary for me to maintain a separate wardrobe in my old closet; or so I was told. I was well out of my twenties, but my family still treated me as if I was a little girl in certain instances. Business and family activities had always been priority to us Haywood’s, any attempts at having a life outside of that norm took special circumstances. I dressed for comfort and cuteness for the day, still including six inch wedges. I decided to put a few curls in my otherwise straight mane, smoothed on a little make up, & changed purses.
It wasn’t until I caught my reflection in the hallway mirror that I realized I cared about Ced more than I was willing to admit. Who knows whatever happened to Jermaine. I hadn’t seen him or heard from him in days. I didn’t even recognize myself. Knowing I was going to see Ced wasn’t the chore it had become with Jermain. It was if I was on auto pilot and seeing him was the most natural thing in my world. I was never prepared for the changes in my heart rate when I saw Ced. I was showing off all thirty-two pearly whites and even humming a Fantasia tune that fit the situation- I felt rejuvenated with the thrill of the wrong. The truth of the matter was that not my dad or brothers could find out about this little rendezvous. Cedric Goldman and Stephanie Haywood would never go together in the same sentence, I needed to face reality. After they told me to go sit down somewhere, they would surely do bodily harm to Ced without hesitation.
7
“Good morning sunshine” My dad stood from the bar stool he sat in at the island. I made my way over to his outstretched arms.
“Morning Daddy”
“I honestly didn’t believe it when your Mama said you were up.”
“Yes, she said my second set of favorite words- ‘I cooked’.”
“I know rite, I knew Chef wasn’t frying me bacon this morning so she surprised us both.”
“I don’t know why you two are throwing me shade like I don’t ‘want’ to cook. Every chance I get to distract Chef I’m in here making noise! Don’t do me now, baby.” Mom fixed me a big plate as she talked.
“Carlos would have a fit if he came in here and saw me in this apron.”
“Yes he would!” My dad and I spoke the same words at the same time.
With Carlos being a chef, the family was used to eating healthy but good nonetheless. Mom wasn’t from a blue blood background like dad. Her family was from the belly of Mississippi and she still held all the soul food cooking in her heart. We rarely ever got to eat hearty soul food meals at the big house, let alone eat a meal that had not been previously approved by Carlos who had handcrafted my parent’s chef.
I had an uneventful breakfast with my parents and ate until my heart was content. I thanked the heavens the entire time that I didn’t have a hangover. I told my parents that I had some errands to run and made a respectable exit. Inside the five car garage, I decided to drive the candy apple red custom made Camaro I’d received the year before as a birthday gift from my dad’s. As I pulled into the parking lot of his convenience store/car wash I spotted Ced conversing with several movers and shakers from the streets and white collar circuit. Mostly all of the men gathered had been present at the surprise party the night before.
“I guess I’m not the only one playing hooky today?” I began to panic and squirm in my seat.
When Ced recognized the detailing on the car he waved me over to him.
“And, there she is…the one and only Mrs. Goldman” I heard him say as I slid from behind the wheel.
The brothers standing next to him looked at me wide eyed; it didn’t take long for them to recognize me as Chandler’s very own most untouchable bachelorette.
“Hello Ms. Stephanie Haywood. Hey Baby. What’s going on Steph? How are you doing Baby Steph?” I was greeted all kinds of ways by each of the men for what very well could be the last time I was going to be seen alive. I just so happened to be one of the few women that recognized men were just as big of gossipers as women, and I knew my little field trip would be put on blast before they made it to the next traffic light.
8
“Aite fella’s, I can’t keep a pretty lady waiting. I will get up wit ya’ll anotha time. One!” Ced grabbed my hand, threw a set of deuces fingers over his shoulder, and lead me inside the store to his office.
The inside of the office looked as if it belonged in a good housekeeping magazine instead of a convenience store. I wasn’t green to the dealings that went on in Ced’s world but how he kept the two separated amazed me.
“You know you could have warned a sistah that you had all kinds of eyes up here! You know they can’t keep a secret, my brothers will know about my being here in thirty minutes.”
“Baby, I didn’t know that we were keeping secrets. You’re a single, grown woman and I am a single, grown man.”
“Come on now, you know what I mean Ced. I think it will be better for my family to find out about us from me instead of the streets talking.” He obviously wasn’t concerned with receiving a visit from all five of my dad’s at once.
“I’m a permanent fixture in your life now Baby, it’s time they know that. I’m not going anywhere so the sooner we get the formalities and introductions out the way, the sooner we can move on with our plans.”
“Plans? What plans are you talking about Ced?”
“We’ve gone over this a million times. You will be my wife; this relationship can only lead to marriage. I’m not interested in anything else.”
I was sure my eyes grew in size and I was sure I let out a deep breath. Why is it the one time I wanted to play a little bit before I had to make a decision about a man, he wanted to be serious from the gate? Too many times of having my way was the only thing I could come up with at the time. From day one of me accepting his number he made it clear that I was the one woman he’d always wanted.
; Moving away from Arizona, he’d hope to start a life and live the happily ever after. Although he had fathered children with one woman, he could not commit to marriage with her. Once he’d returned home the reason why became crystal clear. Over dinner in New Orleans he’d admitted that he’d tried with everything he had to block me out of his mind. The fact that I was still unmarried and had no kids was confirmation I was the woman for him. He knew without a doubt he would have the trophy wife men dreamed of. I’d heard the story quite a few times by now and I was convinced it was truth. Still he’d accomplished the hard task of rendering Stephanie Haywood speechless every time he expressed his feelings.
“Thank you for coming to see me, you look amazing today.” What a smooth way to change the subject. I could see genuine sincerity in his eyes. His dimples winked at me as he flirted with a smile.
“Amazing, huh?” He was such a charmer, he made my heart melt.
I could only chalk his compliment up to an even match to how amazing he looked. Even though his office was in the rear of a convenience store/gas filling station/hand wash detail center, he did not dress the part of any kind of blue collar worker I’d ever seen. Ced was dressed simple but trained eyes could see his attire was expensive. He’d chosen a baby blue collarless polo shirt and a pair of cream buckle-back Bozeman Ralph Lauren slacks that hung loosely on his waist. The pants alone were the equivalent of a car payment to some but he afforded to have them hemmed, stopping just short of the soles of his nude colored boat shoes of the same label. How he’d managed to stay clean was lost on my mind but, clean he was. The man was the epitome of perfection. His but was firm and his pants were on grown man status, in my eyes that elevated him to a new level of sexy.
9
“Yes, amazing is the only adjective I can think of. Oh and before I forget, this is for you.” He handed me a sealed white envelope with crisp new bills inside. The envelope felt heavy with what I was sure was money.
“What is this for?” I looked into his eyes puzzled.
“I know this is a business day, so I wanted to take care of your monetary loss for playing hooky with me today.” There was that charming smile again. For a street dude his dental work was on point. His teeth were sparking white and very straight. The thought of my babies having those same perfect teeth made me sweat.
“Ced, you don’t have to do that. I had already cleared my schedule for today anyway. Even though I didn’t intend to get wasted last night, I was planning to spend some time pampering myself today.” I made a move to place the envelope on his desk.
“Well, that is reason enough to take it. Consider it a second birthday gift, a day of pampering at your man’s expense. I’m not taking no for an answer.”
“Okay then, Mr. Goldman.”
“Now about this date I just paid for-“ he’d started a manly gutsy laugh when one of the two cell phones on his desk started to chime.
“Baby, give me one second please?” The perplexed look on his face complete with the creases in his forehead worried me. Something was amiss in this go getter’s world. I began to look around the office in an attempt to hide the heavy ear hustling I was doing.
“Yes.”
“Really.”
“I’m on my way and somebody had get some answers for me.”
With the phone still pressed to his ear, I watched him rise from his seat. He opened a closet door, even though I couldn’t see it, I heard the ticks of a safe being opened. When he stepped out of the closet there was a nine millimeter tucked into the waist of his pants.
“Baby, I’m so sorry but something has come up that I need to handle. Can you give me some time to put out a few fires?”
“Sure I can. Your dollar- my time!” I laughed to hide the fear I felt in my chest. Who was I kidding, there was no way I could live in his world.
“Your smile brightens my day Baby and I love the sound of your laugh! Trust me when I say I will do everything in my power to hear it every day.”
“Every day huh?”
He stood to give me a hug and also ended up kissing me on the cheek.
“It’s impossible for me to get bored with you. I will call you as soon as I’m done.”
“I don’t want to know what you are about to do. I doubt if you would even tell me straight up anyway. Just, please be careful Ced, just focus on that for me and those beautiful kids of yours.” I gave him another smile and let him watch me sashay back to my car.
10
I decided to go to my house to put the money he had given me in the safe. Even though I didn’t know exactly how much it was, I was positive it was more than pocket change. My mind began to wander as I drove through the city of Chandler to reach my subdivision. ‘Angel is pretty smart after all, huh?’ I thought to myself. She definitely had her sights set high enough, it was just too bad she couldn’t seal the deal. She was foolish to think you could sleep your way to a man like Ced. That had been the dead giveaway in his eyes that she wasn’t the woman he needed by his side. Even though she was let down in the most respectful ways it didn’t stop her from still throwing her sex at him. I needed to tell Angel about my relationship with Ced more than I needed to tell my brothers. This news was going to knock my loved ones off their feet. Thing is, I’d been trying to talk to her for days now. She refused to answer my calls, texts, and every smoke signal I sent up to reach her.
“Ugh, I swear this female never answers her phone!” I screamed out in aggravation after the fifth ring sounded in my ear from my cell phone.
Unlike the night before, I decided to leave a message.
“This is Stephanie- you know the chic that used to be your best friend? I’ve been trying to reach you for days now. What’s going on? How are my God-babies? Call me back Angel A.S.A.P. and I mean it!” With that I hit the red key to end the call, tossing my cell phone onto the passenger seat.
I continued to drive along thinking about why my best friend was hiding from me intentionally. Once inside my house I immediately opened the envelope. Inside there was $10,000 in large bills.
‘Wow, brownie points baby!’
I giggled with glee because I loved an over generous man…just like my father and brothers. Those men treated me and my mom like royalty, the sky was not the limit for Haywood women.
What were the odds that I would find another man that would meet that part of my father’s expectations without receiving his directions first?
I decided right away that the cash was definitely not needed in my wallet and that I would use it to get my god-babies some new things. I really wasn’t sure what Angel spent her money on for her kids because I knew for a fact I made sure things were rotated out constantly. My four god-babies always needed or wanted the latest whatever and they knew I wouldn’t complain about providing it. Their Nana Steph was the everlasting Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and fairy Godmother. I made sure their mom only incurred living expenses taking care of them. They had every gaming system on the market, flat screen TV’s and blue ray players in their rooms, and enough clothing to cover eight kids instead of four. I didn’t have kids of my own but Nana knew when the new J’s were coming out as well as when the Madden games were first available. My god-daughters had an itch for all things Gucci, Louis, & Coach. Until my brother busted up Ced & I, I would use the extra cash to set my God-babies up nice for the season.
I met Angel Stevens after she transferred to my middle school in the 7th grade. An unequal fight that was going to take place immediately after school prompted me to save her from humiliation by the hands of the school bully Tamara Greene. I knew I wouldn’t have to fight Tamara but I made it clear I wasn’t gonna let the girl get beat done either. Telling Tamara that she would have to go through me first squashed the beef she had with Angel in an instant. I think Tamara was more afraid of the consequences from my brothers than she was of me now that I think about it. After that day, Angel and I were thick as thieves.
In our case opposites really did attract because where I wa
s straight forward, outspoken, and fearless; back then Angel was shy, timid, and not very calculated. Angel was the precious gift her parents didn’t expect in their later years in age. She was overly protected and sheltered only child. Her parents always kept a short and tight leash on her. My parents on the other hand went out of their way to allow me to experience things in my youth. Without a doubt we both were our parents pride and joy. Angel and I were leveled even in the looks department, both natural beauties. Angel was fair skinned with a hint of a few freckles in her face. She had the genes that would suggest she was not completely African-American. She had wild, unruly sandy brown naturally kinky hair that was thick and unmanageable in its natural state. Her big amber green eyes always appeared to always be excited and were used as a deadly weapon.
11
We were both tiny beauties standing a fierce 5’5 barefoot, with slender frames. Angel maintained her petite frame in the gym five days a week. Even though she had birthed four kids, you would never know it looking at her body. I maintained my body by golfing with my dad’s and playing tennis with my mom. I was a smooth cocoa chocolate color and by eighth grade had inherited my mother’s curves. My dark brown relaxed mane stretched down to the middle of my back. My eyes were slanted and I had a round face, I was often led into an argument about the Asian genes that were surely in my blood. When you could see the iris of my eyes they were a soft brown color.
In high school Angel took a turn for bad and no matter what I did to deter her, she still wound up pregnant our junior year. Only to create three more kids by the time I had graduated college. Despite help financially and physically from her parents, Angel dropped out of high school and became a certified hood chick. At the ripe age of twenty-one Angel had run through her three and a half million dollar trust fund and was desperately trying to sustain the life she had grown accustomed to but now that life included four kids.
