Even if I was his responsibility, which I wasn’t, I could still have relationships. I wouldn’t lose my magic with my virginity. I was going to have to have a talk with Dax, right after I ate this steak. He really had picked me out a good one. It was bigger than even his.
Rocky leaned in closer to me. “I hope you enjoy the meat. That’s from my prime cattle.”
Maybe a not-so-subtle reminder that Rocky was actually the provider? Margo had told me once that when you didn’t know how to respond, sometimes a simple thanks worked. “Thank you,” I said, hoping it bought me enough time to get some bites in.
I was just about to pick up the knife and fork when my chair was tugged a few inches away from Rocky and toward Dax.
“You looked a little cramped,” Dax said, looking at Rocky as he did.
There was still the same amount of room in between them, except now I was closer to Dax.
“Thanks,” I said to Dax, using Margo’s advice and hoping it worked, because I was damn hungry and all I really wanted at the moment was to eat.
I moved toward a large serving bowl to get a scoop of mashed potatoes but Rocky’s hand cut me off.
“Let me help you with that.” He dumped a healthy mound on my plate, nearly double what I would’ve taken.
This was getting really weird now. Why wasn’t I allowed to put food on my plate? But wow, that was a really big mound of potatoes. I never would’ve had the nerve to take that much, so I certainly wasn’t going to complain.
“Thanks,” I said, wondering how far I could take this thanks plan and how large my servings were going to get.
I leaned closer to the corn, waiting, but somehow they’d lost interest in me and were only looking at each other. Damn, this could’ve been an epic meal if it had just lasted a little longer. I didn’t dare hog the rest of the food the way the table all seemed to be staring down at our end. Didn’t they have anything to talk about? Why did they all seem to be trying to listen to us?
Dax, who’d just taken a bite of steak, said to Rocky, “Very good steak, Rocky. Where did you get it? Dal and I would enjoy a meal like this during the week.”
“It’s from my private herd.”
“Really? I didn’t notice one of the cattle missing from the few you have.”
I leaned forward, so the most either of them could see was a partial of my profile as I tried to chew on steak like I hadn’t just heard Dax say that. I looked down the table. No one else was bothering to pretend ignorance.
“Just butchered. You would know something about fresh meat, wouldn’t you?”
I leaned my chin on my hands so it didn’t drop open. What the hell was happening here? I knew they both had their squabbles, but this was getting ugly. Rocky was walking a fine line now. Maybe I should lean back or try to break up this conversation?
“You’re absolutely correct. The fresher the better. I might do myself a little hunting tonight if the mood strikes,” Dax said before I’d gotten past being frozen in indecision.
But I kicked into gear quickly after that last comment. “Hey, Carmine, how’s it going with the theatre plans?” I had to nearly scream from where I sat, but it was time for action. It was a popular topic, and I prayed that everyone’s interest would shift to the coming theatrics and not the current ones.
Carmine came to my aid, and picked up the thread and ran with it. It took off as one of the people in charge of maintenance said something about how many generators they’d need to find in order to get that movie theater up and running. The conversation drew everyone in, even Dax, who said he knew where there might be some preserved discs.
It was so hard to find media these days that I was impressed with their dedication but thought it was a bit of a long shot. I’d never say that out loud, though. Everybody needed a dream and I hoped this one worked out. Seeing a real live movie like they’d had in the Glory Years was something I’d longed to experience myself.
I had a vague memory of one a long time ago when I was just a child in Newco, still with my parents. I wasn’t sure if it was real or something I’d conjured in my own mind out of bored delirium in the Cement Giant.
Before I knew it, dessert was being served. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen such a glorious red as the bowl of strawberries placed on the table. Or maybe they just looked like that because of the mounds of cream against the bright color.
“Your favorite, right?” Rocky asked as he piled up an embarrassing amount into a bowl for me. Okay, I might have to say something about the portions, but I was certain it could wait until tomorrow. Or until I finished the bowl.
My head jerked away from the red and white vision, my taste buds still firing off from the first bite. “Yeah, it is.”
“Here, you’ve got a little cream on your face,” Rocky said as he cupped my cheek, and then his thumb was running over my lower lip. I wasn’t sure why you would wipe cream from there, since it was part of the mouth and my tongue would take care of it anyway. Must have fallen into the boyfriend category?
He really wanted to be my boyfriend in every sense of the word. My face tingled where his hand had been as I stared back at him. He was perfect, except his hair was deep auburn and not black and his eyes were a warm brown and not the pale bluish-grey Dax had. And no, I didn’t feel the same pull I did when I was with Dax, but that was just Dax’s magic at work.
Rocky was a great man, almost the most perfect man I’d ever seen if I’d never met Dax, and I shouldn’t hold that against him.
“Why don’t I walk you back to your house after dinner?” he asked, and I liked the softness in his eyes when he looked at me, and the width of his shoulders, which looked like a nice place to curl up and rest against for a while.
I knew what he was asking, and I hammered down images of darker hair and lighter eyes because they didn’t matter. I nodded. “That would be nice,” I said, knowing he’d take that exactly as I meant it.
People got up as they finished and were mingling as they said goodnight. I turned and Dax was standing in front of me, calm as a breezeless evening. Maybe I wouldn’t have to talk to him. He seemed to be accepting that I’d made a woman’s choice.
Rocky headed over and I motioned for him to give us a moment.
“Sure,” Rocky said, smiling like only someone who’d gotten the upper hand could, and I hoped he didn’t think this meant I was agreeing to stay here permanently.
He gave my hand a squeeze and walked to the other end of the table. “I’m going to go talk to Tyler for a minute. Let me know when you’re ready.”
I should’ve known something was coming but I didn’t, not until Dax’s arms were wrapped around me, my hands resting on his chest, as my entire body seemed to jolt to life. “What are you doing?”
“What? Don’t tell me you only like to play boyfriend with Rocky,” he said softly before he pulled me in so that I was snug against him.
His eyes went to my lips as I felt his hand travel up my back until it was cupping the base of my head.
He was inching in slowly, his eyes on my parted lips. Any second now I’d be pushing him away.
I should really pull back, but I didn’t move an inch. Maybe once I could breathe better I would. I felt his fingers on the back of my scalp as they threaded in my hair. Any second now, I’d be moving out of his hold.
Then his lips grazed mine, his tongue peeking in between my lips to slide over my tongue, sending a shock to my nerve endings, as there was a slow, tentative tasting of each other. Our bodies parted slightly, and instead of stepping away, my hand shifted to the back of his neck. I didn’t know why my fingers threaded through his hair other than I seemed to always want to touch it when I saw him.
It seemed to trigger something within him. Instead of continuing to pull back, he moved his other hand up and was cupping my head and tilting it, and we were fitting together even closer, the intensity notching up along with the contact.
I felt like I was burning everywhere we touched, and then, suddenly, he pulle
d back, his arms dropping from me. He stepped back and looked almost as confused as I did for a moment, but his recovery was much quicker.
I watched Dax turn and say to Rocky, “You can go for that walk now.”
It hit me then what we’d just done, and in front of everyone.
Rocky looked frozen in place. I could see the words bursting to be said on everyone else’s lips.
All I could think was, I am going to kill him. The only thing that kept me in place as I watched him walk away was making more of a spectacle of myself.
I turned to the group, who were looking like this was the best theatre available, and said, “What? You never saw two people kiss before?”
They stopped staring, but I heard a few giggles in the group as they turned away, and I thought I heard someone say, “Not like that,” but I wouldn’t have sworn to it.
I closed the ten-foot distance between Rocky and me. “Hey, sorry about that. I don’t know what came over him.”
“I do. Don’t worry about it.”
His words were exactly what I wanted to hear, but his face didn’t show them, and he kept looking away from me.
“You ready?” he asked, and I nodded.
Rocky was polite as we walked, but he didn’t so much as reach for my hand, seeming to be lost in his own thoughts.
“Did you want to show me something?” I asked, finding myself trying to break the awkward tension.
“Nah, I’m tired.”
I didn’t say anything else as he walked me home. I stepped in front of the door and he was gone shortly after.
I waited all night for Dax to come back. Even after I’d given up and went to bed, I was still waiting against my will, listening to every creak of the floorboards and for his familiar footsteps.
When he did finally come in hours later, it was way past the point I’d normally be asleep. I lay there for a few seconds, telling myself to fight it out with him in the morning. But the image of how Rocky looked after that kiss was still fresh, and I knew sleep was futile.
I climbed out of bed, ready to have it out.
He was walking into the kitchen when I found him. “What was that?”
“I thought you were a grown woman? If I need to explain that to you…” His words trailed off as he walked past me and toward his bedroom.
“That’s not what I meant,” I said as I followed him.
“He needed to know how misguided he was, and since you seem intent on letting this go on, it was the most efficient way to get the job done.”
“It showed him nothing. You just made a spectacle of us.” And it didn’t seem to bother him one iota, with how calm he was acting.
“Trust me, it showed him. If he didn’t get the message, then he didn’t want to hear it.”
“What message?”
He stopped in the middle of his room and turned to stare at me, and I realized he wasn’t anywhere near as calm as I’d thought. “That you aren’t interested in him. He’s not the one.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because you’re not.”
“You don’t know everything in my head, Dax.”
“If he was, you wouldn’t melt for me.”
“I do no such thing!” I said, even as I was thinking back to the kiss and wondering if that wasn’t what I’d just done.
“I think tonight said differently. That’s the problem—you’re so green you don’t even know what you want.”
“And you do? Stop trying to control my life. I didn’t get out of that place to have someone else try and rule my every move,” I said, as he was pulling off his shirt and I decided it was a good time to call it quits for the night.
“Then stop making stupid decisions,” I heard him say from the other room.
6
I looked through the pile of books Susan had dropped off this morning. Right smack on top was the picture of a hilly landscape, the title Mexico’s Wild Terrain written in yellow across the front. Mexico. I’d heard Bookie mention the name. Another country the Glory Years had wiped off the map.
Susan had come by with them this morning. The timing seemed a little too convenient, but I’d appreciated the distraction. After glancing at the Mexico’s Wild Terrain, I thought Susan might have oversold her collection a bit. I’d browse through it, but I doubted its ability to keep me up all night reading.
I moved Mexico’s landscape to the side for future perusing to find a half-naked man with a woman in his arms on the cover of the next book. I lifted that one up to get a better look, only to find another cover with a shirtless man standing in the shadows looking all hot and bothered. I dumped the entire bag out and found myself staring down at a collage of half-naked men covering the floor.
Jackpot, baby! I was going to have to kill the next ten Dark Walkers in Susan’s honor or something to repay this kind of debt. Maybe come up with a new recipe for lip gloss for her that didn’t sting your lips.
I grabbed a book off to the side that had a guy with dark hair and light eyes. He was holding a girl with flaming red hair in his arms like he never wanted to let her go. This looked like a good place to start.
I was trailing a finger over the man’s arms on the cover when I heard the doorknob. I shoved all the books into the bag as quickly as my hands could move, having to settle for flipping the top one on its face, since I’d lost Mexico in the shuffle.
Dax stepped in and just stood there for a moment, making me wonder if he’d somehow seen my pile of sexy-time books. No way. I was sure I’d gotten them in the bag in time. I was positive of it. Plus, the tension pouring off him wasn’t about sexy-time books. A raised eyebrow and a hint of mockery would be more in line with catching me with these books.
His expression had me glancing over my shoulder and expecting to see a monster or something behind me. Like expected, I didn’t find one, and I had a feeling the monster would’ve been the better-case scenario. Kill ’em and be done, with plenty of reading time left in the day.
“What is it?” The words felt like I’d just swallowed a mouthful of dust or some other distasteful substance. I was the one who was always on the brink of doing something disastrous or needing rescue. I’d been hanging low-key all day. So what was the issue?
He’d been gone since I’d gotten up this morning, but that wasn’t enough time for the world to have fallen apart. Or was it? Come to think of it, you didn’t need that much time for things to get ugly. I’d seen it firsthand. Shit, it could go bad in a matter of seconds.
He finally unfroze and walked over to the couch, tossing his bag on it. “I had some business to handle, and on my way back here, I heard there’s been some outbreaks of the Bloody Death.”
It was the only thing he could’ve said that would wipe out last night’s kiss and following fight and make them insignificant. I sat on the floor with my back to the couch, curling my legs underneath me. It was the one thing everyone feared and everyone predicted.
Once there’d been billions of people in the world. There was no way to be sure how many were left, but it was safe to say only a small fraction of that. After the Bloody Death, the numbers had quickly dropped below the magical amount needed to keep an advanced civilization running. Although that was a horrible loss, it was better than mass extinction. Every time there were whispers of another outbreak of the Bloody Death, you never knew how far it would spread, or how many people we would have left. How many could we lose before the human race was doomed to extinction? “How bad?”
“From the information I have, it’s hit several different communities. It took out Seaside completely.”
“Seaside?”
“It’s a community not that far from here. Some said it’s already spreading up and down the whole East Coast, but it’s hard to know for sure with the way panic starts kicking in.”
Even if it were half as bad as that, it was still bad. Would this finally be the end we all feared? I rested an elbow on the couch cushion as my chin went to my hand, trying to hold back the w
ords I didn’t want to speak.
I shouldn’t have bothered. He said them for me. “That’s not a few sporadic cases but the beginnings of a possible wave.”
He didn’t have a look on his face anymore, and that was almost worse. I let my hair fall in front of my face and didn’t bother pushing it away as I imagined the Bloody Death running through this world…or through this place.
I’d never wanted to come here, but now… It wasn’t the farm. It would never be the farm. But it hadn’t been so bad, either. Had even turned out to be better than I’d hoped, and I wasn’t going to let this happen. As long as I was here, I wouldn’t let this place fall. I stood and walked with no real destination as I started putting the pieces together.
“We need to tell Rocky right away. If we can keep everyone within the confines of the walls, limit the exposure to the outside, it’ll be okay.” I nodded to myself, thinking out the needed steps. “We’ve got to close up tight. It’s the only way to protect everyone. This place is well run. There’s probably enough food to be self-sufficient for at least a few months.” I needed paper and a pencil so I could start making a list. “After it passes, we should go to the Skinners. They have a cure. Everyone says they never get sick. We’ve got to get it from them, whatever it takes, and figure out what it is. But first, we need to help keep everyone else safe.”
“The Skinners don’t have a cure anymore. If everything we’ve heard is true, only the Dark Walkers do.” He was sitting on the couch looking like he was drained while I was just firing up. What was wrong with him?
“No, the Skinner leader will still have some. No way he didn’t keep a private stash.” I knew I would have, and Dax was more thought out than me, so he had to know that too.
“What are you thinking?” I asked when I turned to see the blank expression. “I know you and Rocky aren’t getting along that well, but we have to help him, them, even if neither of us can get sick.”
He was shaking his head. “I’ll warn him. That’s not it.”
“Then what?” And where was a damn pencil when you needed one? If Bookie were here, he’d have one. Bookie would help me make a list and get this organized. He always helped me.
The Dead: Wilds Book Three (The Wilds 3) Page 5
