‘Finn!’ Sam screamed. ‘Get your hands off her!’
Forgetting his resolve to use the crossing, Sam ran back the way he had come, looking for a break in the traffic as he went. He stepped out into the road in the hope that a driver would slow down enough to let him cross. A car horn blared but didn’t stop. Trapped on the wrong side of the road, Sam could only ball his hands into fists and watch, powerlessly, as Finn made another grab for his daughter. Jasper had his hackles up and, sensing another assault on his friend, the puppy lunged at her attacker. Jasper’s jaws locked on the sleeve of Finn’s jacket, but he was so light that when Finn flung out his arm, he sent the dog flying into the air.
Sam was too far away to hear Jasper’s yelp or the clatter of plastic as the leash dropped to the pavement again, but Jasmine heard. Finn lunged at her, but Jasmine was too fast. She chased after poor Jasper who was now terrified and only wanted to reach Sam. With his ears down and his tail between his legs, the pup ran along the edge of the kerb, barking at the traffic that was preventing his escape.
In the distance police sirens could be heard, but they wouldn’t reach Jasmine in time. They would be too late.
‘Jasmine! Stay where you are!’ Sam shouted with such a power of emotion that his voice crackled. He felt the kind of pure terror that could bring a grown man to his knees and almost did, but then it was as if a switch had flicked and fear was replaced with superhuman determination.
He would have been there for Ruby. He would have jumped in front of the white van before it came into contact with her fragile body. Like a superhero, he would have held out his arms and pushed against the windscreen that was capable of shattering a child’s skull. The van would have been brought to a screeching halt to the applause of all of those helpless onlookers who might otherwise have been traumatized for the rest of their lives.
Sam stepped out into the road again and held out his hand to an oncoming car which braked so hard there was the smell of burning rubber. A car in the second lane whizzed past him with a blare of its horn, but the car behind had already started to slow, giving Sam enough time to reach the central reservation.
Jasper had found his own gap in the traffic and, before Sam could order him to stay, the dog darted across one lane with Jasmine in hot pursuit. She was less interested in the traffic than she was in the plastic handle trailing along the ground after the dog.
‘Jasmine, no!’ Sam shouted, an instruction that was echoed a fraction of a second later by Finn.
The two men were directly opposite each other. They made eye contact briefly as both ran towards Jasmine. Sam stepped into the road and narrowly missed being hit by a silver car. He began waving his hands frantically to warn oncoming traffic but the van driver coming up on the outside lane had already seen the dog in the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid Jasper without realizing he was steering towards another hazard. He didn’t have time to react and couldn’t avoid the girl in the navy-blue jacket. Her blonde hair didn’t shine like a warning beacon because she still had her hood up.
Sam’s superhuman powers failed him and he didn’t reach her, but he was close enough to hear the sickening sound of screeching brakes, skidding tyres, shattering glass and metal hitting flesh.
44
Endings
The few belongings that had been taken out of Sam’s holdall since his first attempt to leave had been returned and there would be no more delays. Even Selina had given up trying to change his mind. Like Sam, she had been forced to weather the media storm surrounding their private lives during the last week or so, and he suspected that if she were ten years younger she might have suggested riding shotgun when Sam rode off into the sunset.
Selina was clearly unhappy about his departure and had taken to deep sighs and wringing her hands whenever she saw him, which was what she was doing now.
‘It’s a nice day for it,’ she said as she looked out of the window.
Sam was sitting at the dining table holding a familiar piece of paper that had been transformed into a soaring bird. It was as green as the fresh buds that had peeked out from gnarled branches on the day Sam had first set eyes on Jasmine; young leaves that would soon be no more than rotting mulch. ‘Better than driving through the rain,’ he agreed.
‘I meant for a funeral.’
When Sam looked up, it was impossible for Selina to gauge his feelings. They were hidden so deeply that even Sam couldn’t feel them. ‘I wouldn’t have thought there was such a thing,’ he said, thinking back to a glorious summer’s day when the sun had no right to be in the sky.
To this day, there were still huge gaps in Sam’s memory of his daughter’s funeral. He knew the crematorium had been packed but he couldn’t remember who had attended. He recalled a sea of faces staring up at him as he read a speech which he and Kirsten had written together. She hadn’t been able to say a word so he had braved the lectern on his own. He had been the strong one and it had taken all of his strength to stand next to the white coffin that was too small and too damn soon for Ruby. He had wanted to run at full pelt out of there and to keep running. He wanted to run now.
Selina’s next sigh was so loud it made Jasper lift his head. ‘I suppose I’d better take him downstairs,’ she said but didn’t move.
‘Aye, I’ll bring his bed.’ Sam didn’t move either.
‘What are you going to do with that?’
He turned the bird over in his hand but didn’t even try to answer the question. When he had made the one thousandth crane that morning, he hadn’t been sure if there was a special ceremony. It was something he hadn’t considered when explaining the myth to Ruby because neither of them had been thinking that far ahead. His daughter was taking a pragmatic approach and had told him she would take her time making the cranes, possibly saving her wish until she was an adult when she would have a better idea about what she truly wanted from life. She had believed that wishes were too precious to be wasted and when he had sat on Ruby’s bed on the day of her funeral and counted the ones she had made so far, there had been twenty-three.
The latest and last crane looked no different to its brothers and sisters and he had considered simply slipping it into the shoebox which had been released from police custody the day before. But this one was different. If you looked hard enough, there were telltale indentations on the paper from when he had written down his secret wish on its white underside. Technically, it hadn’t been a single wish and Sam wondered if the crane might need a little extra help from an old ally of his. ‘Maybe I should take Jasper out for one last walk.’
‘To the park?’
‘Maybe,’ he said.
Sam hadn’t been near Calderstones since the day of the accident. He didn’t work there any more for one thing, and when he had been called upon to drive Selina to the police station, he had taken a circuitous route to avoid Menlove Avenue completely. They had made several trips to see Harper and his team and there had been countless questions, but eventually Selina had been let off with a caution. Sam wasn’t sure if it was because Harper had mellowed following the accident or if Selina had simply worn him down.
Keeping his head down as he walked, Sam didn’t look up until he felt soft mulch beneath his feet. The road was to his back and the scene of the accident was hidden from view as he slipped between the fir trees and startled a couple of squirrels, but it was Sam who was the one truly shocked when he caught a glimpse of blonde hair that shone beneath dull skies – only this time it was the mother and not the child who had paid a visit to the Wishing Tree.
Laura wore a black dress and jacket and was standing on the path that led directly past the Allerton Oak. Her head was bowed and her long blonde hair fell loosely over her shoulders, covering her face until she was startled out of her reverie by their approach.
‘How are you?’ he asked, knowing it was a question Laura was surely tiring of by now.
There was a pained expression on her face and when she said, ‘I’m fine,’ it convinced neither of th
em.
In spite of the dark circles under her eyes, Laura looked far better than the last time he had seen her. She had been in the police car that Sam had heard approaching as he watched Finn strike Jasmine, and while she hadn’t been near enough to see the accident, she had been quickly subsumed by its aftermath.
‘Selina was going to visit you,’ he offered, ‘but she wasn’t sure if you’d want her to.’
‘Tell her she’s more than welcome, you both are,’ Laura said before catching the look in Sam’s eye. ‘You’re still leaving?’
He considered giving her a full explanation of his feelings, telling her how he wasn’t brave enough to live in a world where joy and happiness were ultimately paid for with debts of fear and grief. But today was not about him and so he simply said, ‘Yes, I was just taking Jasper for one last walk.’
‘And so you ended up here,’ Laura said, turning her attention to the Wishing Tree.
When Sam could draw his eyes from her, he looked over to the tree that had cast its shadow much further than the length of its sprawling branches. Its trunk looked dark and damp, a stark contrast to the thin strands of light that danced in the breeze to the side of the tree. They were no more than a hair’s breadth.
The spark of light ignited Sam’s memory and he was returned to that heart-stopping moment when he had watched the van swerve into Jasmine’s path. He couldn’t have reached her, even if Jasper hadn’t been wrapping himself around his legs at the time. Sam had held up his hand but he couldn’t stop the van in its tracks and he couldn’t protect Jasmine from its impact. He had been only feet away and still he hadn’t been able to save her. If Finn hadn’t been there to shove his daughter out of the way then …
‘How is she?’ he asked.
‘She won’t talk about what happened, Sam, in fact she barely talks at all. I wish I knew what was going on inside her head but then, maybe I don’t want to know,’ Laura admitted. ‘She was like a little statue all through the service and when she did speak, she insisted on coming here. The wake’s at the King’s Arms so we’ve just nipped out for half an hour. I thought it might help. It can’t be good keeping all of those feelings bottled up.’
‘I suppose not,’ Sam said, feeling obliged to agree when what he really wanted to say was that Jasmine would be terrified of letting go, that it would feel like she was standing on a precipice, and that once she took the plunge there would be no going back. He knew how that felt and supressing his emotions had been a survival technique he had perfected over the years.
‘She’s going to miss you, Sam. We both are.’
‘You’ll be OK,’ Sam said if only to appease his own conscience. ‘You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Laura. You were going to go it alone, remember. You still can.’
‘I don’t suppose I have a choice,’ she said, waiting for Sam to respond to what she wasn’t saying. When he didn’t even blink, she shook her head. ‘I wanted to be free of Finn but not like this, Sam, not like this.’
There was nothing more either were prepared to say but when Sam made a move to leave, Jasper pulled him towards the tree rather than away from it.
‘Will you at least say goodbye to Jasmine?’ Laura asked. ‘I think she’d appreciate it.’
Jasmine was sitting on the ground with her legs crossed. She was wearing a red tartan pinafore with a white blouse and had used her school coat as a mat to sit on. She wasn’t the least bit startled by Sam’s appearance because she had recognized the sound of Jasper panting long before they came into view.
Sam tied the dog’s leash to the railings before taking hold of the overhanging branch that would give him the purchase he needed to leap over. ‘Can I come in?’ he asked.
She nodded.
Sam groaned as he jumped over, landing with a thud. ‘I’m getting too old for this,’ he complained then waited only a heartbeat before adding, ‘There’s no easy way of saying this, Jasmine so I’ll say it straight out. I’ve come to say goodbye. I’m going away.’
‘Is it because you’re mad at me?’
Sam kicked away a couple of fallen twigs and sat down on a patch of damp leaves in front of her.
‘Why on earth would I be mad at you?’
The little girl narrowed her eyes into slits as she forced back tears and did her best not to look at Jasper. She would definitely cry if she did that. ‘Because I’m nothing but trouble and everyone would be better off without me.’
‘I think your mum would disagree with that.’
‘No,’ Jasmine said, thinking of the moment the van had smashed into her dad and how the world had then gone eerily quiet. She had watched Sam holding his hands up to her, warning her to stay away while he knelt on the ground, his jeans soaking up the pooling blood in dark, purple patches. And then she had heard her mum screaming and before Jasmine knew what was happening, she had been pulled off her feet. Desperate arms wrapped around her and hands covered her face. They were her mum’s hands shielding her from the gaze of her dad’s dead eyes but Jasmine could still hear her screams. She would never forget them. ‘Mum would be better off most of all.’
‘Oh, Jasmine,’ Sam said, ‘there’s nothing you could ever do that would make it better for your mum not to have you in her life.’
‘I think I must have been born bad.’
Sam took his time before he gave his reply. ‘I can think of some people who that might apply to but not you, Jasmine. You are not a bad person and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.’
Tears stung her eyes now. Her dad had thought her a nuisance, always getting under his feet or spoiling the fun and nothing she ever did was good enough. He hated her – and that was before the accident. What would he think of her now? ‘It was my dad’s funeral today,’ she said to remind Sam of what she was capable of.
‘Yes, sweetheart, I know.’
His voice was soft and lulling, as if he thought she deserved comfort and not blame. She couldn’t let that go unchallenged. ‘I killed him,’ she said, and when it looked like Sam was about to correct her, she scowled and added, ‘And I stole Jasper, who nearly died too.’ She still wouldn’t look at the pup who was whining now. ‘Is that why you’re taking him away? In case I do hurt him?’
‘I’m not taking Jasper with me. He’s staying with Selina,’ Sam said. ‘You’ll have to speak to your mum, but I’m sure you can arrange to take him for walks, when you’re ready.’ If Sam had been expecting Jasmine to jump up and down with excitement then he was left disappointed. He sighed before adding, ‘I saw what happened, Jasmine. It wasn’t your fault.’
Jasmine had heard it all before and was tired of the lies and the sympathetic looks. She dropped her head and concentrated on picking at the skin around her fingernails which had been bitten to the quick.
‘Have you talked to anyone about what happened?’
There was a shrug. ‘A police lady keeps coming around but I get upset and she goes away.’
Sam was quiet for a moment and all Jasmine could hear was the gentle soughing of the tree and maybe the sound of the park ranger scratching his head. ‘Hmm,’ he said. ‘Are you saying she makes you upset and you can’t talk about it, or you make yourself cry so she goes away?’
With her head still bowed, Jasmine looked up through her eyelashes. Sam had a suspicious look on his face. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘You could always write it down. Tell the tree.’
‘Keira showed me the newspaper. Everyone knows about my wishes now and how it was you who made up a silly story about the tree having magical powers. It was you who made my wishes come true, wasn’t it?’
When Sam spoke, his voice cracked. ‘It was a really bad thing to do, I know that now.’
Jasmine wanted to lift her head, not to look at Sam but to raise her gaze to the sprawling branches above her head, reaching towards her in what she had been foolish to believe was a loving embrace. She still wanted to feel that connection but instead she was only aware of sapped wo
od so weak that it needed metal props to keep it from collapsing into a pile of kindling.
‘I wish I still believed.’
‘I do,’ he confessed. When he tapped his chest she wasn’t sure if he was patting something in his pocket or feeling his heart. ‘Sometimes there’s nothing else left.’
‘Did Ruby believe in wishes?’
‘Yes, she did.’
‘You miss her, don’t you?’
‘Yes …’ Sam said, his voice trailing off into nothing.
The autumn wind became tangled in the branches above them. Drying leaves scraped together and one or two fell to their death. Jasper pounced at one and in the process trapped his head in the railings. When he cried out, Jasmine pulled harder at the skin around her fingernails, ignoring the tearing pain and the thin trickle of blood as she concentrated on holding back the flow of tears.
Her nose was blocked and her voice strained when she asked, ‘Is Jasper all right? He fell so hard when my dad knocked him away and he was limping when he ran across the road.’ A vision flashed in front of her eyes of the dog running straight into the path of the oncoming van. ‘I didn’t think he’d move fast enough.’
Sam was quiet for a moment. ‘He didn’t move fast enough, Jasmine,’ he said, speaking slowly and deliberately. ‘That was why the van swerved, the driver was trying to avoid him.’
Jasmine’s nostrils flared as she looked up and glared at Sam. Her head was pounding as she continued to dig her fingers deeper into her flesh, although she couldn’t feel the pain any more. She was only aware of the fury. ‘It was not Jasper’s fault! He’s only a puppy and he was scared, Sam! He didn’t know what he was doing!’
‘No, I don’t suppose he did,’ Sam said softly. ‘He ran away instinctively. You saw he was in danger and you reacted on instinct too. You put your life in danger to save him. That was pretty brave of you.’
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