It’s time to finally go and be with her.
Maybe in the afterlife, she will forgive me for walking away from her and we can finally be happy… together.
Leaning against the locked door, I slide down it until my arse hits the floor with a thud, taking one last look around the room, I whisper.
“We’ll be together soon baby, I promise. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”
Unscrewing the lid on the sleeping pill bottle, I tip a handful out before pulling the cap off the vodka bottle with my teeth and then spitting it out.
Not giving myself a chance to think about what I’m about to do, I throw the pills straight into my mouth followed by a very large mouthful of vodka.
I just need this pain to stop and this is the only way I can get rid of it.
I carry on gulping the spirit down, but nothing is happening, the searing pain is still there. Taking some more pills from the bottle I repeat my actions, only this time they start to work. I feel my eyes are starting to flutter open and closed, my heart is no longer in pain and in my dream like state, I see her.
I see Steph standing there waiting for me, calling to me to go to her.
With one last flutter of my eyes, I speak to her for the first time in a long time.
“I’m coming baby.”
Chapter Eight
Melissa
Well, that went down like a lead balloon.
I never planned on just spitting it out like that, he shouldn’t have found out way he did, but I just couldn’t hold it in any longer.
The look on his was one of pure devastation, I’ll never forget it. In less than two seconds flat I ripped out his heart, stamped all over it and then handed it right back to him. He didn’t need to say anything for me to know that he still loved her, I could see it in his eyes.
Since he left me standing at the side of the road all I’ve done is sit in my car for the last forty-five minutes berating myself for how it all went down. I didn't mean for it to happen like that, it was harsh but the words left my mouth before I could filter them from leaving my stupid lips.
I’ve never seen anyone want to get away from me as fast as he just did, but something in my gut is telling me that I need go back to Allie and Connor’s so they can go and check on him, he shouldn’t be alone right now. I know I’m going to have to explain to them both how I know Liam and that it would cost me the best job I’d probably ever had, but it’s the least I can do after the way I’ve just dumped all that on him.
Starting my car, I do a U-turn in the road and head back to the imposing gates I drove out of less than an hour ago.
Once I’ve pressed the buzzer and a confused sounding Allie has let me back in, I speed back up the driveway. The entire time my heart is beating out of my chest, they are going to think I’m some sort of nut case.
I wouldn’t blame them really, I’m on the verge of turning around and checking myself into the psych ward.
Stopping the car outside the door, it opens and there stands Allie with a look of serious worry on her face.
As I approach the steps leading to where she’s standing I hear her. “Whatever is the matter, Mel? Have you changed your mind already?”
I hold a hand out in front of me to try and halt the quick-fire questions she's throwing at me. I need a few more moments before I start to spill my guts.
“Can we please go inside, I really need to speak to you both.” My voice is shaky and barely audible.
“Of course,” she says, as she stands back and holds the door open for me to walk through.
Leading me into the sitting area, she offers me a seat on their plush sofa before telling me she’ll be back in a moment with Connor.
Less than two minutes later, they walk in together and take seats on the opposite sofa from me.
“Whatever it is that’s troubling you Mel, you can tell us. We don’t judge in this house, we only help each other,” Allie says, trying to offer me some sort of comfort.
I suck in a breath through my teeth and give her a sharp nod of my head in understanding, hoping and praying that they’ll forgive me for what I’m about to tell them.
You’re doing this for Liam, a voice in the back of my head tells me. Even if he’s not my favourite person, I didn’t like the look on his face when he pulled off at lightning speed in his car and I really wouldn’t like anything terrible happening to him.
“Before I tell you what has just happened outside, I need to explain a few things first and please believe me when I tell you if I had realised who you were when you emailed me Allie, I wouldn’t have come tonight.”
Twenty minutes later, I’ve spilled my guts all over their expensive carpet and told them everything. Okay, so maybe not everything. I didn’t tell them about Bethany, no-one should know about her until he does.
Raising my eyes from the spot on the floor I’ve been focusing on the whole time, I look at two very gobsmacked people. Their silent mouths are wide open and Connor looks like he’s about to have a cardiac arrest.
Finally, I get a, “Wow” from him before he continues, “We knew he had a girlfriend when we left, but he never really mentioned her so we thought he had ended it. Not once did we think it was that serious.”
“Well, it was, they were each other’s everything. Am I pissed at him for leaving her the way he did? Yeah, I am, but never, not once did I intend on just blurting out to him that she was dead. It… It just happened, I guess I just panicked when I saw him. I’m so sorry.”
“And where is he now?” Allie asks me, finally finding her voice.
“I don’t know, that’s why I knew I had to come back and talk to you guys. I was thinking you might know and could go and check on him,” I say, my hands knotting together as I wonder if I’m doing the right thing by telling them.
With nothing left to say, Connor is up off his arse and storming away from us with his phone in his hand…
“John…” I hear him say before he goes out of earshot.
“Don’t worry Mel, the boys will find him and make sure he’s okay. It’s what they do, they may rib each other at every given opportunity, but believe me when I say, we are as tight as can be. After all we're one big family,” Allie tells me, making me feel a little better that I told them in the first place.
Connor comes bounding back into the room, giving his wife a quick kiss before announcing that Johnny is meeting him at Liam's place.
Jumping up from the sofa, I shout, “I’m coming with you, I made this mess. Please let me try and help fix it?”
Connor gives Allie a cautious look, but from the corner of my eye I see her give him a nod of her head.
Thank god, someone's on my side.
“Come on then, but don’t get in our way. We sort this our way, and I'm not sure what state he'll be in.”
“No problem.” Now I'm a tad bit worried, he wouldn't do something stupid, surely. Or would he?
Ten minutes later and a drive in Connor's Maserati GranCabrio, now known as the death car, Connor comes to a skidding halt outside the most gorgeous townhouse I have ever laid my eyes on. It’s the complete opposite to the house I’ve just left.
I’m not given much time to observe it’s beauty that is his car, before Connor is ejecting himself from his seat quicker than should be natural. With a struggle because of how low the car sits from the ground, I follow suit, and am met with the epitome of sexiness - Johnny Owens.
Fuck me.
Now is not the time to be drooling Mel, pull your shit together. I chastise myself.
“Mel, Johnny. Johnny, Mel.” Connor introduces us quickly, not giving him any explanation as to why I’m here, which is perfectly fine by me. We haven't got time for pleasantries anyway.
Bounding up the steps to Liam’s front door, Johnny starts to bash his fist so hard against it, I swear he’s going to do some damage to his hand, never mind the door. Yet it doesn’t seem to faze him that he’s bashing on hardwood.
I stay rooted at the bottom of t
he steps, letting them do their thing. I couldn’t move right now, even if I wanted to. In a matter of an hour, I’ve turned the life of a man upside down and I’m surrounded by two members of the best band in the world.
Shit like this doesn’t happen to me.
Connor is shouting through the letterbox, whilst continuously ringing Liam's phone and getting no answer by the looks of things.
After fifteen minutes of them getting nowhere, I’m about to step in and see if I can help when all of a sudden Johnny roars up, in what seems like his final attempt at getting the door to budge. I close my eyes as I know what's coming. I can feel his pain already. The sound of him shrinking in pain doesn't come, instead it's the sound of wood splintering and the thud of something heavy hitting the floor. With one eye peeking open I see Connor grabbing Johnny's arm and helping him back up from the floor. Where the door once was, is now a gaping hole.
I'm just about to start and make my way into the house when Johnny places a hand on my shoulder.
“I think you should stay in the hallway and wait, we don't know what we're about to walk into okay?” He then picks me up, lifting me over all the broken wood on the floor before he places me back down on my feet off to the side, making sure I'm steady before letting go of me again.
Wow, he's beautifully strong. I mentally slap myself upside the head, now is not the time for dirty thoughts.
He’s a married man for Christ sake.
“If you need me for anything, please just give me a shout,” I tell him, ridding my mind of my earlier thoughts.
They both leave me standing there, not wasting any time and sprint up the stairs in record time. Doors are opened and banged shut again, Liam's name is shouted, but it falls on deaf ears. Where else can he bloody be? I mean, I know it's a big house and all that, but Christ it can only have a few more door's that haven't been opened yet.
Deciding I can’t stand here any longer, doing nothing, I start to take small, quiet steps around the rooms on this level of the house. Peeking my head around the door frame to the sitting room and see no Liam, I carry myself to the kitchen and office. Just as I’m about to open another door that leads to god knows where, I hear my name being called.
“Mel, phone a fucking ambulance now and whatever you do, do not come up those stairs.”
Now I’m in panic mode, but I quickly do as I’m told, my shaky fingers pulling my phone out of my jacket pocket and dial 999. When the operator answers I shit myself. This is serious. Liam must be in a bad way if even those two can’t help him. He’s a public figure, his career could be ruined and it will all be my fault. What the fuck have I done?
Trying my best to keep myself together, I fire out as much information as possible, which is jack shit cause I haven't got a clue what is happening up there. The woman on the phone just keeps reassuring me that an ambulance is on its way and will be here as quick as possible. I shout up to them everything the woman says to me, but by this time Johnny has Liam over his shoulder and is flying back down the stairs.
“Shit, Johnny, I really don't think we should have moved him.” I hear Connor say trying to keep up with him.
“I can't let people see what we've just seen Con, I don't even think we should have seen it.” I have no clue what they are talking about, but my money would be on the way they found him and what he's done to himself.
From the position Johnny has him on his shoulder, I can see that his eyes are shut and his body is limp.
Oh. My. God.
Is he dead?
Chapter Nine
Liam
“Liam, baby. You need to wake up now, everything’s going to be okay, I promise, but you have got to wake up. I’m not mad at you, I told you to go. You’ve lived your life for the both of us, just like I said you needed to. Don’t blame yourself for what happened to me. You need to go back now though, there are people counting on you to survive this, she needs you.”
“But I need you,” I tell her.
“I’m okay and you’re going to be okay, you just need to fight this. I know you can, your time isn’t up yet. You still have things to achieve and she needs you now, she will always need you.”
“No… no.” I try to scream. My hand reaching out in front of me grasping at thin air. I can hear her silky voice, but I can’t see her as it’s just too bright.
“Remember Liam, you have to carry on. You have been given a second chance, one you deserve. It’s not your time yet baby.”
Like an instant stab of adrenaline has been shot through my body, the top half of me catapults forward and I struggle to breath.
What the fuck was that?
How was it even possible?
“Calm down L, we’re here for you. Just breathe dude, breathe.”
I see Johnny in my peripheral vision with a hand on my back.
Where the hell am I?
My eyes scan the room I’m in and everyone is here, Allie, Karina and the guys, and yet I still say nothing.
I shouldn’t be here, I should be with Steph.
Like a sucker punch in the gut, shame encases me, and I just want to curl up and die.
No-one was supposed to find me, at least not until it was too late, and I had succeeded in what I was trying to do.
Getting my breathing back under control, I go to lie back down when I’m instantly stopped by a very painful ache in my stomach. Without me asking, Connor begins to explain.
“They had to pump your stomach mate, you’re going to be sore for a bit.”
Lowering myself back down to the pillows behind me, I close my eyes and sigh.
I’ve fucked up big time, if what I’m thinking is right, then the guys found me which means they’ve seen the room.
They’re going to think I’m a crazy person, who needs a strait jacket and a padded cell. I wouldn’t even be surprised if they had me sectioned, that room isn’t exactly the behaviour of what a sane person would have.
I hear the door click open followed by a tiny voice.
“How is he?” The voice causes the hairs on my arms to prickle and for my breathing that I’ve just calmed down to speed back up again.
No. No. No.
Finding energy I didn’t even know I possessed in my current state, a blood curdling scream rips from my throat.
“Get out. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Now.”
Everyone is looking at me in bewilderment, they’ve never seen me behave like this before, let alone with a woman.
I can see the turmoil and guilt written all over her features, but I don’t care. She’s just shredded any last hope I had of getting the woman I’ve been hopelessly in love with for over a decade.
Turning my head, I look to Connor for help.
“Please make her leave, I don’t want her here, she can’t be here.”
Connor gets up from his position in the chair he’s occupying, walking over to where she’s standing, mumbling something to her, she leaves quietly through the door she’s only just walked through.
Thank god!
Keeping my eyes trained on the clock above the door, I watch the minutes tick by and not one of us in the room has uttered a single word. There’s a massive elephant in here, they all have questions they want to ask me, but I can’t find it within myself to explain right now.
I’m broken.
I know I owe them an explanation and in time I will open up. It’s just right now I need to deal with this bombshell my own way, even if it means closing myself off from the people who have always had my back.
Eventually the door swings open, and for a minute I swear my heart stops beating in case she’s decided to come back to carry on torturing me for my sins.
Instead, it’s a middle-aged woman in a white coat, along with smart attire underneath. Everything about her screams doctor to me.
“Well hello there Mr Williams, it’s nice to see that you made it back after all our hard work to revive you.”
Is she fucking serious right now?
Keeping my thoughts
to myself, I just look at her and give her a half-arsed smile.
That’s all she’s getting from me.
The smarmy bitch.
“Now medically you are fit to go home, but mentally I am concerned. I’m going to refer you to one of our psychiatrists, it may help you to talk about why you did what you did. Also, I don’t want you to be alone at home for a while-”
She gets cut off when Connor pipes up with his big gob.
“He can stay with us, we have plenty of room and he’s already family so it’s no bother.”
“Yes! Definitely, he can come home with us,” Allie repeats, backing her husband up.
“Well, that’s settled then, I will just go and sort your appointment out with the psychiatrist along with your discharge papers, and then you’ll be free to go.”
Shit. The tour.
Will they still let me go?
Just as the doctor is turning to leave, I stop her.
“Hey doc, just a quick question.” Looking around the room, I see frowns on everyone’s faces. “We go on tour in two weeks’ time, will it be okay for me to still go?”
Shock voices gasp around the room, as if they can’t believe that I’m actually asking that question at a time like this. I don’t care though, I won’t let these guys down any more than I already have. They deserve for me to keep this commitment, watching everyone, I can see how selfish I was being about what I’ve done. These people love me unconditionally even if I couldn’t see past my own needs – I know it’s going to take some time but eventually I will make it up them.
But firstly, the hard part.
Accepting that Stephanie is dead.
Several mind numbingly boring hours later, they’ve let me out of that hell hole under the strict watch of Allie and Connor. In all honesty, I think Connor only offered because he wanted another male around to shoot the shit with. Don’t get me wrong he loves his wife and son unconditionally, but there’s only so much sex and baby talk one man can take.
Syren's Rebirth (Syren Series) Page 4
