by S. N. Garza
I really didn’t want to sound like I was desperate for him to text me when he said he would. I didn’t worry about him being hurt because he was a very competent man. It could be as simple as him just not caring enough to text me. Maybe it was a nonchalant gesture, “I’ll text you.” Kinda thing. The saying that one said to just get away. Maybe he just wanted to get away from me and my insecurities. I wouldn’t blame him.
I swiped open my phone, turned the volume down and opened the messaging app. I looked up his contact name and I went to start texting.
Hello Dax!
No, too formal.
Hiya Dax!
No, too infantile.
Hey Dax!
No. I couldn’t put an exclamation mark at the end. Just a period so he wouldn’t think I was like over-eager to try and talk to him.
Hey Dax. I hope you made it home okay. S
There. Short and sweet. I opened a line of communication. If he wanted to respond, he could. If not, that would actually be kind of disappointing, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it. Besides having his phone number, and name, I didn’t know him.
I wanted to. He really did seem like a nice guy, under that caveman, he-man attitude. I placed my phone and turned up the music on my phone. After waiting fifteen minutes, with not a response, I let out a noise of frustration.
“Ugh. I’m an idiot. Telling him I was a virgin was like splashing water in someone’s face. Totally not necessary!”
I threw my phone to the side and turned up the noise until it was blasting through my ears. Fuck it. I guess I just wasn’t that important. He said he wanted to be friends. Was this how friends treated each other? I didn’t know. I didn’t have many growing up. The one person I was supposed to count on practically dumped me on a stranger’s doorstep before high-tailing it out of here. What a total loser.
After she left, I kept to myself. I let the movie’s Nana let me watch take me somewhere to escape. Until I was old enough to read romance books. Then, I was all about reading happily ever after’s. Wishing I could get mine someday.
My eyes were getting heavy lidded and I was just falling asleep when my phone dinged with a new message.
Was it him? Should I care? It’s not like he responded when he should have. It was way too late now. I was ready to go to sleep.
Who was I kidding? Hearing that ding woke me up like an alarm. I pulled the cord to the earphones until I got ahold of the phone. I opened up the text message.
Dax: I am home now Pix. Sorry, I went out after leaving your house.
Should that have disappointed me as much as it did? I mean, really, it was late and he went out after seeing me? Did he see a girl? Did he have sex with said girl? Why the hell was I questioning that? He could have sex with anyone he wanted to. I mean, I didn’t have any claim to him. We were friends. The end.
Hope you had fun. I’m going to bed.
Dax: Wait.
I felt like an idiot, playing into this guy’s game. He wanted me as a friend, and even though he made some comments that weren’t meant for ‘just a friends’ ear, he could have at least given me the courtesy of responding when I texted him. Not wait-oh, an hour-later before texting me back. It was almost two in the freaking morning. I wanted enough rest before I went to the try outs.
What?
Dax: Sorry it took me so long.
It’s okay. I figured you were busy.
Dax: Uh. Yeah. I’m home now though. What are you doing?
I’m laying down in bed, listening to some music about to go to sleep.
Dax: Sounds hot, what kind of music.
I was listening to Halestorm, now Lady Antebellum.
Dax: Halestorm. Nice choice. Never listened to Lady Antebellum.
Of course you wouldn’t. It’s not your type.
Dax: How do you know?
Okay. I saw you had an iPhone. Go into iTunes, look up Lady A. DO NOT pre-listen to any songs. I want you to DL-‘Bartender’-Just do it.
Dax: Alright Pixie. Give me a minute.
I waited a few minutes. I knew he was more of a rock guy. I mean the guy listened to alternative rock music from like ten years ago. Lady A was definitely not his type.
Dax: What. The. Hell. Is that supposed to mean?
What do you mean?
Dax: Is that like code or something?
Uh. No. It’s a song.
Dax: Well, why that song? Just because I didn’t respond right away, you’re going to just what? Forget my name?
No. Dax. That’s not what I think. It’s the song that’s playing on my phone.
One day into our friendship, and I was totally making an idiot out of myself.
Dax: Well, why don’t you DL Breaking Benjamin, ‘Without You’-don’t preview it either. I know you don’t have that in your phone. Right?
Right. Okay. Gimme a moment.
I looked it up on iTunes and downloaded it without the preview. I was curious. I heard of the band, but I never listened to them when I was younger. I was really into musicals then. My little punk rock phase had limited bands. It's not like I ever painted my nails black or got into gothic/grunge music. The only grunge music I ever listened to was Majandra and that was because I had a Roswell TV show phase.
After it downloaded, I played it. And listened to it twice.
Whoa. Out of all the songs he could have picked, he picked that one? That was kind of an intimate song. A song you dedicate to someone you can't live without. Not a friend. I figured Dax to be this player and womanizer in my head, I mean, looking at him, that song 'Womanizer' came to mind. Those light blue eyes of his and high brows and cheeks bones. He looked as if a woman would drop at first glance and beg to be his puppet.
I was not going to be that girl. I grew up depending mostly on myself. Nana did an amazing job, but when I turned sixteen and got a job at Chili’s, I did my best to be independent. After receiving a few paychecks, I started taking care of some of the bills because when Nana got Grandpa Alan’s retirement money, and her social security, there really wasn't much.
Guys like Dax, had one type & one type only-easy. I think that's why I wanted to challenge him in some ways. He really wanted to have his way right then and there. His way or the highway.
That song though. That wasn't a song you shared with a friend. Did he want me as more than a friend? Maybe. He made it clear I wasn't his normal type, but then he'd make comments like 'you make my thing hard'. Yeah, it's hard for me to say that word aloud. I don't ever remember saying it before. So did he want me? Who knows? He was great looking, successful, and really sexy.
Did I want him? My lady parts certainly thought so, but my heart and head just weren't there. Yet, at least. I've never really had a guy friend before. It was foreign and I didn't know how to act around one. Telling him I was a virgin, shocked the hell out of him. I had to be honest with him though. He had stated he wanted me even though I was different than his 'go-to' type but as soon as the word virgin came out if my mouth, it was a totally different ballgame.
Why that song?
Dax: because when I heard it earlier, it made me think of you.
Really? That's not a ‘let’s be friends’ song Dax.
Dax: I know.
Was that all he was going to say? I waited a few minutes and when he didn't say anything else, I texted back-
Okay. Thank you. That's really sweet. Where did you go? Have fun?
Dax: I went to The Club.
You went dancing?
Dax: ha-ha, no. There is dancing but have you-
He sent that, and nothing else. I waited for a minute than I felt my phone vibrating. Looking at the screen, Dax's name popped up and I felt really shy all of a sudden. I didn't answer the phone quickly enough because it went silent and I got another text.
Dax: answer your phone, Scarlet
When my phone vibrated again and I swiped it, opening the call.
I didn't want to be too loud, the walls in this house were thin. In a low voice,
I answered, "Hey."
"Why are you talking so low?"
Laughing, I said, "The walls are really thin, and Nana is in the room across mine."
"So hanky-panky has always been a no-no, huh?"
"There would have had to be a guy here first. You're the only guy who’s ever been here, even in the driveway. I didn't have giggly girlfriends, either."
"I'll be your giggly girlfriend if you want."
"Uh, sure. But you're a guy."
"Ah, shucks. I'll be your giggly boyfriend then."
That time my laugh belted out. "You're incorrigible. You know, you didn't answer me earlier."
I could practically feel his sigh whisper across my face and his shoulders slump. That was the kind of sigh he aired.
"I did a bad thing, Pixie."
There was something in his voice that made me feel nervous to hear what he did. I didn’t want him thinking I would assume the worst, so I thought I’d try to lighten his mood.
"Did you kill someone's puppy?"
"Ha. No, Pix."
"Did you pickpocket an old ladies wallet?"
I heard him chuckling before I heard him say, "No."
"Did you lie to someone?"
"I don't think so."
"Well, did you kill a person? Or play a bad prank? Or scream your hard rock music too loud?"
"One of The Club's girls gave me a blow job and I imagined it was you."
My eyes bugged out of my head for a moment before I felt my heart squeeze. I didn’t understand that feeling. Was I angry? A little, maybe. Did I have a right to be? No. Of course I didn’t. I made it clear we were friends and that all.
Then why the hell was a tear streaming down my face?
What? I placed my hand up to my cheek and swiped away the tear that came down. I had no right to feel hurt or betrayed. Didn’t I just say I knew the type of guy Dax was? Why would a guy like that change? Why would someone that hot want someone challenging and independent when he could have ten girls who could easily give him whatever he needed any time, with a snap of his fingers?
“Pixie?”
I mean look at me. I was probably what most guys thought homely and shy. Nothing to look at and be instantly in love. I’ve never even been in love. Lust? Eh. No one ever caught my interest, until Dax. I couldn’t let us be more than friends. Better to keep my heart safe.
“Scarlet! Answer me, babe.”
Babe? Ugh. Deep breath. Get over it. You know your limits now. Friends. Just friends.
“I’m here, Dax. Sorry. That just kind of shocked me, I guess. Blunt. A little too much information though for this virgin’s ears, I might add.”
“Wait. You’re not upset?”
Yes. I really, really was.
“No. Should I be? We’re friends, Dax. You can tell me anything.”
“Even the part where I was day dreaming it was you?”
I knew he heard the intake of breath I took. He pretended like it was me? For some sick reason, I didn’t feel as bad.
What the hell? Ugh. I was not one of those girls. Waiting to get a bone thrown at them every time master wanted to play.
“Yeah, you can day dream all you want, Dax. Won’t make a difference in our friendship.”
“Uh. Okay. Sorry. Yes, that was too much information. Friends. Fucking idiot.”
That last word I barely heard. Was he disappointed? Upset that I drew a firm line? Was he mad that even though we were friends, that he would just leave and then go find a piece to satisfy himself and I wouldn’t think exactly what I pictured a guy like him to be? Yeah, well. A girl had to draw a line somewhere.
“I pegged you Dax from the beginning, remember? I knew the kind of guy you were. You even told me the type of girl’s you went for. It’s okay. Friends.”
“Stop with the ‘friends’ this and ‘friends’ that shit. You know I want to be more.”
“Dax, I don’t know anything. You might want in my panties, but I don’t know what you really want. I don’t understand the opposite sex. I’ve never had a boyfriend. The only time I went out on a date, it was my first and last. It was a homecoming game and I went with a band nerd. He was a nice guy. Did I fall for him? No. I don’t let myself get close enough to be hurt. So what you do in your own time? Is yours. I’m not going to be hurt by what you do. We are friends. I don’t want anything more than a friendship with you, Declan. So if you can’t handle that? Then…then maybe we should just say bye right now.”
“No. Fuck no I don’t want that. Damn, Scarlet. What are you so fucking afraid of?”
I took the phone away from my ear and looked at it like it was a ticking time bomb. Afraid?
“I’m not afraid, Dax.”
“You’re not afraid? Is that right?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s fucking bullshit.”
Click.
Yeah, that’s right. I hung up on his ass. How dare he say that? What could I possibly be afraid of? I barely knew this guy. What right did he have? Calling me out like that. Asshat. Bossy-caveman-sexy-asshat.
My phone started vibrating again. Nope. Not answering. I needed to get some sleep. Tomorrow was a big day for me. The phone stopped and I heard in the headphones a dinging sound and since I was a glutton for punishment, I looked at the message.
Dax: Don’t hang up on me again. Get some rest.
Don’t text back. Do not text back. Shit. I was texting back.
Bite me. And I will, I have a big day tomorrow.
Dax: I will as soon as I get the opportunity. Don’t roll your eyes.
I’m not.
Dax: Yes you are, but that’s OK. Goodnight, Pixie.
So, he thought calling me Pixie would put him back in my good graces after his little outburst? I didn’t think so.
Dax: Pixie, say goodnight back to me.
Why should I? I don’t understand why he’s so damn persistent. I set my phone down, plugged my earbuds back in and set a softer mood to go to sleep to. I started my cool down playlist and set the sound on medium when my phone dinged again. Ugh. I just want to sleep.
Dax: Pixie, I’m sorry. I don’t want to ruin this. I fucked up. Please. Just, please don’t end this.
Sigh.
I didn’t either. Even though he was a complete asshat, and womanizer, I didn’t want this, whatever this was, ruined and ended either.
I don’t either. Just, if you’re gonna do things like that, I’d rather not know. Okay?
Dax: They won’t.
Okay, if you say so.
Dax: I promise.
Yeah, but what good are promises when the person already let you down?
9
Dax
Why did I get the feeling that she didn’t really believe me? How could I have been so stupid?
Fuck. I’m such a fucking stupid-ass idiot. I threw my phone on the king size bed and went to go take a shower.
I felt…dirty. Like I should be ashamed. I was. I mean, what I did was a dick move. I should’ve just went home. She pegged me as that guy? Hell. I shouldn’t be feeling like this.
It’s not like she wanted to be more than friends. At least right now. I wanted her. I wanted her more than anyone I’ve ever wanted before.
And what the fuck was up with that song? ‘Bartender? I can’t believe I fucking downloaded that song. Now I’m going to have that in my phone forever. I could delete it, but I paid for it.
It wasn’t that bad of a song, but now every time I heard it, I was going to think she never wanted this friendship to even happen.
Friendship…fuck my life. I wanted her to be more than a fucking friend. I wanted her underneath me. I wanted her tied up on my wrought iron king size bed, her sweet ass in the air as I showed her how much playing with the darker side of sex could be fun. Her beautiful blonde mane in my grip. I wanted to kiss those pouty, plump lips until they were swollen and red from kissing her. I wanted to see her flawless, peach skin bare so I could lick and suck my way up and down her body. Biting and
teasing those hard, little berries for nipples. I bet her body would be perfect under mine.
Friendship…I didn’t want that. Like I said, I’ve never had a chick that was strictly friends only. I couldn’t do it.
What was she so damn afraid of? I knew why she was that way on the phone. Aloof and distant. Then I just had to tell her what I did at The Club, didn’t I? Fuck. In a way I didn’t want to tell her, but something inside me told me I was a horrible man for leaving Scarlet at her house, then going to The Club. Not that I even went there for a girl. Well, maybe I did at first thought because there was just no way I felt so fucking frustrated by one lone girl. I mean, she was a virgin for crissakes. But as soon as I got there, the only thing I wanted was a damn drink.
It’s not like I meant for that bitch to blow me. She said she ‘had me pegged’? That sucked big fucking monkey dick. Was I that kinda guy?
Yeah, I was. I got pussy at the drop of a hat. Whenever I wanted it, and when I had a girl for a time, I usually picked one from The Club and used the room that belonged to me. I took them blindfolded, tied, and used my array of toys on them. They knew exactly what they were getting into when they entered this club. Girls at The Club liked to play, and when a Dom took them, they understood the rules. It was consensual, safe, and wicked sexy.
Was I going to change for this girl? This All-American-Miss-Apple-Pie? Could I change? Become soft? No. I couldn’t do soft.
Thinking about touching Scarlet, running my hands all over her creamy skin. With her being prone to blush, it would be so easy to make her skin flush with anticipation. She was a virgin. No man has ever seen her naked. I would be the first.
That’s the thought that made my dick stiffen to steel. To be the first man to feel her body, to be the first man to push inside her tight warmth. I placed one hand against the bathroom tile, and palmed my dick with the other. I wouldn’t even need to use toys either. Just to feel the tight grip of her pussy on my dick would feel fucking amazing. Her vagina sucking my dick deep inside. My hands gripping her hips as I penetrated inside her. I could just see her breasts swaying and bouncing with each hard thrust. Her nipples sharpening into hard little points. I’d bend down, suck each one into my mouth. Suck hard, roll them around my tongue and bite them with my teeth. I’d hear her breath catch, her eyes heavy lidded with lust, and her body writhing underneath my hands as I rubbed a thumb over her sensitive clit. Then hearing her scream out my name as I made her come. Then feeling her liquid heat coat my cock in her sweet juices.
