“Why that’s terrible!” she said, outraged.
“It is. Obviously, it’s not like that in every pack, but it was in ours. Traditions are allegedly the cement of our society, and because of that lots of werewolves don’t fit in and are excluded. Women, of course, but also people of color, lone wolves, everyone that doesn’t follow or agree with this ancient vision of what a pack ought to be. And you know who are also excluded? Homosexuals. See what I mean?”
“I think so…”
“Then you can understand Lola’s reaction. She was raised in a completely different environment. She is just as shocked as you and I’m not trying to excuse her words and actions towards you, but I understand her, and I hope you will too. In the meantime, just give her some time to cleanse her mind from all the bad things the pack washed her brain with.”
BAM! That was probably the best speech I ever made, and I now deserved another kind of award. If Esthelle still wanted to be a mule after that, there was nothing I could do for her and her heart was as cold as stone. I was quite proud of myself. For once, I could express myself with the right words and without saying anything stupid. The witch remained silent for a long time, she seemed to be lost in her stream of consciousness; I wasn’t in a hurry, and I kept myself busy strewing roses at my own feet.
“All right,” she said eventually. “Thank you. Instead of insulting her on a regular basis, I’ll just ignore her and be disdainful. Good enough right?”
“It’s perfect.” I smiled even though I believed she’d cave and be nice. “I should go now, you probably need some alone time. Good night!”
“Good night!” She hugged me briefly, which was both unexpected and awkward. I clumsily tapped her head. Why would physical contact with people other than Lola or Milo make me so uncomfortable? I had some issues to work on.
I was back in the attic only five minutes later. Milo pointed to Lola who was already sleeping on the couch, and I tried to be as quiet as possible when I grabbed one of the blankets on my bed to keep her warm. She didn’t move, that must have been a tiring journey. I went into my bedroom with Milo so we could talk without waking her up. I closed the door and turned towards him – he had just sat on the bed. On second thoughts, it may not be the best place to talk.
“She’s been restless every night since we left,” he whispered. “Your presence is probably very soothing for her. I know it is for me.”
That was cute, I thought sitting beside him. There was ambiguity between us; only a blind man would miss it. I had always been frank to others and myself, and so I had to face it. Yes, Milo was a very handsome man. Did I deeply care for him? Yes. Was I glad he was here? Yes. Was there more to it, or would it ever turn into something else? I had serious doubts. I didn’t know his opinion regarding the subject; I could smell his fatigue, his joy and some sort of desire, but it wasn’t helping. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea if I wanted to stay close to him or spend more time together.
“Milo?”
“Maddie?”
“I really like you, but -”
“But your heart is not mine for the taking, I know,” he interrupted. “I’m a poet, I can spot love from a mile away.”
“Oh. Perfect then.”
I sat on his lap like earlier today, and I put my arms around him. I let my head rest against his and closed my eyes. That was all I needed: his presence, his arms around me – a friend, basically, and he was the most affectionate and caring friend there ever was. And bonus: he was funny.
“I’m so relieved you’re finally free,” he whispered, stroking my hair. “It was painful to see you every morning knowing what you were going through; and it was hard to make you smile. But now, it’s easier than ever and you laugh so easily as well, and you’re happy in spite of all your worries. You are like this bird that is finally set free and is building itself a home and a future and leading its best life, and that makes me happy.”
“I’m not a bird,” I couldn’t help saying, “I am a wolf.”
“So, you like to destroy my similes then?”
“I really do.”
He pulled a lock of my hair, and I smiled. I did enjoy these moments we shared teasing one another. I pushed him on the bed so he’d lay down – which he obediently did – and I put on my pajamas before cuddling up to him. He held me tight, and I could hear his heart beating faster and his desire increasing. Come on Maddie, you’re flirting with disaster. Milo was a man after all. I kissed his cheek and wrapped myself up in my blanket in order to put some distance.
“Good night Milo.”
“Good night sweet wolf”
“Oh, and FYI, I’m happy I’m free too,” I said falling asleep shortly after.
I had quite a lively night. I was not used to sharing a bed, and as soon as I could feel Milo’s presence, I’d wake up because I was afraid to bother him in his sleep, and that was actually rather ridiculous because he slept like a log. I was hardly able to sleep. When dawn came, I heard Lola stirring up in the living-room, and so I got up like a thief in the night – hum, let’s forget about that part when I actually stole stuff – and joined her. She was fully awake and eating cereals muffled in her blanket. I made some coffee with my high-tech machine and sat by her side — I had also taken some cereal. The sun was having trouble getting out of bed as well, and small rays of light brightened the grey sky. Despite this shady weather, it was terribly hot, as always.
“Sleep well?” I asked Lola, knowing the answer.
“Nope. You?”
“Same”.
“At least you had some good company,” she teased. I threw a pillow at her face, and she easily dodged it, but she nearly spilt her milk, and we laughed after she’d growled at me in an attempt to get angry. I silently finished eating while enjoying the quietness of the house which only the comforting breathing of Milo and the witches would disturb. “Do you like Milo?” Lola suddenly asked.
“I care about him, that’s all.”
“Is it because of that mysterious wolf guy?”
I cast a surprised glance. She really had a shrewd perceptiveness. I had almost forgotten how smart she was, in spite of her youth and her terrible education.
“Maybe,” I admitted even though that might not be true.
“We’re really doing well.”
“Are we?”
“Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?”
“Why don’t you just eat your cereals and leave me be? Good Lord!”
Lola laughed – she wasn’t used to my using such a dated expression. Only a little kid like her would blow raspberry. After she’d done so, she just ate her cereals without asking any more questions about the lycanthrope. I didn’t know myself what it was that I was feeling towards that man, which by the way, I hadn’t actually met nor seen, so Lola could ask and ask again, I would never be able to give her an answer, and harassing me wouldn’t give her one either. Talking of the devil, I had had an idea regarding that psychopath of a spy. Since Mr. Bond would only communicate through little notes, I had no choice but to conform to his methods and see what would happen.
We didn’t have to wait long before Milo got up and joined us, and he brightened us and the still shy sun with his stupid jokes. The witches were waking up as well downstairs. I was grateful for the time they were allowing me to spend with my friends. I needed to rekindle our relationship and having them by my side was the greatest gift I could have asked for, and I owed it to that stranger. All of my feelings were intermingled, and I had trouble sorting them out. I was torn between gratitude and irritation. On the one hand, he had brought me my friends back, but on the other, he was purposely avoiding me and playing with my nerves.
Why? He probably had to take a lot of risks to lead Milo and Lola all the way here, against William’s pack’s will. There was no rational explanation I could find to explain this act of pure generosity. Maybe he was trying to get into my good graces, to please me basically, so that we might let him in our group. Or maybe he ha
d some mysterious devilish plan concealed behind that “giving gifts” strategy. I was lost, nothing made sense; all I knew was that I had mixed feelings about him, and it all made me wanna tear my hair out.
I spent all morning with my friends, and the sole minutes we were not together were during shower time. When lunchtime came, I suggested we eat out so Lola might chill out: every time Esthelle would talk to Adélie two floors below, she’d grow as pale as death and retreat into a silence that was hard to break. I could see she still needed time to sort her thoughts and feelings out, so I tried to give her some.
Milo invited us to an Asian restaurant, and I had never gotten the chance to try out Asian food, so I was glad. He knew how much I enjoyed food. I enjoyed everything wholeheartedly and tasted every dish I could until I felt like vomiting. Lola did look more alive and she seemed to have forgotten about Esthelle for the afternoon.
Since everything was going as good as possible, I gave my protégés a tour of the quiet side of the town. We roamed the parks, the commercial alleyways, the seaside, and the afternoon went by in lightheartedness and quietness. Well, I’d be lying if I said everyone was happy: Mr. Wolf’s scent was all over the place, and it was extremely bitter, which revealed he was furious. What for? I had no idea and decided not to care because I didn’t want him to ruin my day, which was growing to an end when we decided to head home. It was about time since the hot sun made me long for a cold shower after having tanned my skin throughout today’s trip.
“I like this city and its two sides,” Milo said, taking my hand. “I could see myself living here. I just have to find a place and a café.”
“Wow didn’t see that coming. Don’t you wanna keep living with us?” I replied with a harrumph.
“I’d love to. But I fear I might fall in love with you if I do,” he confessed.
I was shaken by his sincerity. That was unexpected. My joke had just turned against me. I was so discombobulated I decided not to answer, and Lola started snickering next to me. I shot an annoyed glance at her, and Milo started laughing as well. I liked his way of saying serious things without taking them seriously. He liked me better than I liked me, or him. He was aware of it, at least, he’d move on eventually, and that was quite brave of him.
“Do you have to work in a café?” I asked to create a diversion.
“I do. I like the smell of coffee and the working hours and the customers. I like to make people smile, either those lingering in, or those in a hurry that need a cup on the go. It may not be much but I like to think that I made them and their stomachs smile thanks to a perfect tea or coffee. And I do miss preparing your latté and your whimsical cake every morning.”
“You’re not kidding with coffee, are you?” I taunted him.
“Never!”
“Hey lovebirds! Would you mind stepping it up?” Lola commanded with her hands on her hips and a wide smile on her face.
I growled and ran after her. She burst into laughter as I was chasing her around, and it lasted a good ten minutes. My she-wolf was reveling in the opportunity to play with one of her peers, even though we would have had more fun in our animal forms. I finally caught Lola and as a punishment, I decided to tousle her hair. She complained about it for a while without actual conviction. I watched Milo with greedy eyes as he came towards us in a very Baywatch way. He noticed it and he winked. I knew it could mean anything or everything, so I just rolled my eyes at him. As we were getting closer to the house, Lola’s good spirits were flying away, just like the birds above us. It hurt my feelings to see hers so down, but there was nothing more I could do.
“Do you mind going in without me?” I asked a few minutes away from the house. “There’s something I need to do.” They hesitated. It was hard to say which one was most upset. Either Lola, who didn’t want to go home at all because it meant seeing Esthelle, or Milo, who was worried and longed to know what I was up to. “I’m not gonna do anything stupid or dangerous,” I said in a reassuring tone since they hadn’t moved. “You can buzz off now.”
She winced and he gave me a dirty look. Yup folks, life’s hard, get used to it. I smiled from ear to ear, and even if it didn’t totally comfort them, they did leave. I waited until they were out of my sight to pull a pad and a pen out of my bag – the poor things had been there since this morning. Time to write. I sat in the grass near a fountain not far from the house, and I started thinking. I felt like an idiot, my life was not depending on this. They were just words on a piece of paper. I started writing:
Dear psychopath of a lycanthrope who’s following me around,
I did get your mysterious note. You should know that I’m not exactly known for my patience, and I don’t like receiving orders, so it grieves me to say that I will not be patient. I thank you for bringing me my friends back, but at the same time, I can’t figure you out and it makes me wanna hate you. I’m waiting for an explanation, and the sooner the better. If I don’t receive one, I’ll come and get it myself, and I won’t be in the mood for games. A word to the wise.
From the she-wolf whose patience is wearing thin and who will make you eat your stupid notes – pen included – if she hasn’t heard from you in the next twenty-four hours.
After I’d re-read it, it felt like a pretty good message. It was pithy, yet not so straightforward since I was both thanking him then bawling out, but what I was feeling wasn’t clear anyway. And I was ready to bet he wouldn’t be mad, it was still quite comprehensible. Especially the eating part. If he didn’t get the message, there was nothing I could do for him.
I was being a smart Alec, but I was hoping he wouldn’t kill me in my sleep. Everything in his behavior and his whiff showed he was an alpha. He was pack-less, but he was still an alpha. I might have willpower and some power, I was nothing but Madelyne, and if he wanted to pick a fight, I’d have like a twenty-five percent chance of survival, and that was an optimistic figure. I really needed to learn how to fight properly. If he could just read the message lightheartedly and give me my explanation, that’d be great. I just had to wait twenty-four hours, even though I might not live until then.
I folded the paper in half, and in half again. When I got up, I could smell him in the air. He might just be spying on me. Or he might not. In any case, he’d find the letter, I was sure of it. I looked around, but I had lost the hope to spot him. I held back a sigh, and I started walking to find the perfect place to drop my missive off. I noticed a low stone wall a few houses away from the witches’, which might just be the perfect hiding place.
Once I got to it, I raised my hand with the letter in it so that he might see what I was doing if he happened to be watching. I looked wacky, but it was probably worth it. I stuffed the letter in-between the stones of the wall and used a pebble to prevent it from being blown away in case the wind decided to show up. As I was about to leave, an idea sprouted in my head. I had something of his – the tee-shirt – so it made sense I should leave him something of mine. I didn’t feel like getting naked in the middle of the road, so I searched my bag and found the scarf I had taken this morning. I stuffed it in between the stones as well, right next to the letter, and I left for good – I wasn’t planning on spending the night.
When I got home, Milo and Adélie were talking, and Esthelle and Lola were ignoring each other, standing at the far ends of the living-room. But in spite of that, they were in the same room, and that was quite amazing, a major plot twist, the beginning of something, even, I was sure of it. We all spent the evening together. Lola, Milo and I made dinner to thank the girls for their hospitality. Esthelle’s wasn’t so warm, but the girls managed: she even agreed to pass Lola the salt without killing her, and I was so dumbstruck I nearly fainted – joking. Those precious moments with Milo and all the girls were passing by too quickly, and before I knew it, I was in my bed and on the verge of falling asleep. Lola had already done so on the couch, and Milo was in the shower and would soon join me in bed. They both seemed not to be ready to sleep in their own rooms, and I
hadn’t had to insist long before they agreed to stay with me. I wasn’t ready for them to go away either, even for one night.
Once he was out of the shower, Milo took me in his arms. I let him, and I even hugged him back. His presence was reassuring. He fell asleep fast enough, and I, who was snuggled up against him, had trouble doing so. I was still thinking about the lycanthrope and the letter I had left him – if you could call that a letter. Had he found it already? What did he think of it? Was he going to cave and give me the explanation I longed for? I had so many questions. My stomach was upside down. Maybe because in a way, I would have liked him to hug me instead of Milo. That was insane, but I owned it. I forced myself into sleep, because the sooner I was sleeping, the sooner I could wake up and see if the lone wolf had answered me…
Chapter 11
I was pulled out of my deep sleep by the startling sound of my alarm clock. I left the land of dreams to shut that damn thing down, and then silence filled the room. Lola’s calm breathing was the only nuisance. Milo growled noisily to show he didn’t enjoy being woken up early. He took me in his arms while grumbling, and I held him back with a smile. The day was getting off to a good start but — sadly — I had to go to work.
“Milo, I have to go,” I whispered, trying to slip away from him.
He mumbled something and kissed my cheek before letting me go. I kissed his cheek back, grabbed my stuff and left the room. Lola was asleep. In order not to wake her up, I went straight into the bathroom to get ready. Once I was clean, I decided not to dry my hair. It was way too hot and a little humidity never hurt nobody. I liked my hair better when it dried naturally anyway.
I put on a little dress which showed off my features pleasantly. I was glad to notice that my behind filled it up very nicely. I had missed that rounded, tight and plump butt of mine. My fingers hesitatingly grabbed the make-up bag Esthelle had lent me. I hadn’t used it yet – the pack wasn’t here to tell me to be impeccable anymore, so I had broken the habit. But I did like to look a little prettier than usual, just for my sake. I decided to put some make-up on, and went for a little mascara and lip gloss, nothing too extravagant. It wasn’t perfect, but it was my normal, natural, pretty self.
She-Wolf I Page 13
