She led him into the laundry room, and showed him the problem with the water. Once he grudgingly agreed to have someone come in and look at it, they left the room to head back up to the stairs.
Halfway up the first set of stairs, Nicole heard a subtle commotion in the garage, and stopped where she was. “What was that?”
“That? It’s nothing. Could just be a mouse got in there, is all.” Benjamin, who almost ran into her when she stopped, nudged her forward a little to get her to move. Instead of moving up though, she turned around to go back downstairs.
Once she was turned, she was almost nose to nose with the large man, and he looked as if he wasn’t going to let her back down there. “Why don’t we take another look, just in case?”
Glaring at her, he slowly stepped to the side so she could pass, but his eyes never left her face. The effect was instantaneous, and as she passed by him on the steps, she released a slight shiver at the close contact. This man made her skin crawl, and she hated it.
This time when she opened the garage door, she stepped inside and made her way around the large SUV. There was still nothing there that was out of the ordinary. Through the entire visit, she had felt as if they were hiding something. Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe they were really turning around.
As she made her way around the second car, she noticed a movement by the wall. Walking all the way around, she saw a young boy, sitting on the small concrete ledge against the wall. In his hands was a small thick rope that Nicole knew was used as his security object. He always fiddled with it when his emotions were too strong to handle.
“Shane! What are you doing in here?” Nicole walked up and hunched in front of him. When she put her hand on his arm to get his attention, she felt how cold he was. “Oh my! You’re freezing; let’s get you in the house.”
With a slight pull upwards, she tried to get him to stand. He looked up at her, quickly darted his gaze to his dad, then to the floor as he stood up.
“When did you get home from your friend’s, son?”
At the sound of his father’s voice, he shrugged off her hold on him to stand on his own. Still staring at the floor, he mumbled, “Just a few minutes ago.”
“Well, let’s all get back inside the house. It’s too cold to stay in here.” Nicole let Shane go first, but quickly followed to keep Benjamin behind them.
Once they were back in the house, Shane looked perplexed as to where to go next. At first, he was about to go up the steps, but then changed his mind to go to his room.
“Shane, why don’t you come upstairs with us?” she stopped him. “That way, we can all talk together.”
Shane darted a questioning look to his father but quickly masked it before looking back at her. “Um… okay?”
His reluctance was not lost on her, and once again she wondered what was going on in the house.
All three of them made their way into the living room where Evelyn was gazing at the TV.
“Evelyn.” Nicole tried to get her attention, but her attention never wavered from the screen. Looking over, she saw that there was an infomercial for a new steam mop on. What was so fascinating? Trying once again, Nicole spoke louder this time. “Evelyn!”
When there was still no response, she looked exasperatedly over at Benjamin, asking for help in an unspoken way.
Looking put out; he let out a loud sigh, and stomped over to his wife. Leaning down, he nudged her, and successfully made her snap out of her musings.
“What? What I miss?” Evelyn sat up straighter, glancing back and forth, looking in a sort of panic. When her gaze landed on Shane, that was then sitting on their couch, she scowled. When her gaze hit Nicole though, she quickly smiled before looking back to her son. “Home already, Shane?”
“Yeah.”
Does he always mumble when he speaks, or is it just around me, Nicole thought? Looking him over, she saw how his t-shirt and jeans had seen better days, and were worn almost to nothing in spots. Noticing the goose bumps on his forearms, and taking in his hunched posture, she grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch, and wrapped it around him.
“Isn’t your heat on?” Nicole was chilly in her coat, and knew this boy had to be freezing.
“Furnace is broken. We’ve been using space heaters until we have enough money saved to get it fixed.” Benjamin’s response had Nicole looking around, and she finally noticed the small heater in the corner of the room.
“Where are the other ones?” Nicole wasn’t looking at him, still concentrating on getting Shane warmed up.
“Our bedroom and the kitchen.”
“How long has it been out?”
“About a week. Are we done with the third degree?”
His tone had Nicole standing up to face him. Placing her hands on her hips, she rounded on him. “No, we are not done. My job here is to make sure Shane is living in a nice, safe environment. You have to answer as many questions as I feel like asking.”
Benjamin took a menacing step towards her. He looked like he was about to go off, but after what looked like an inner struggle, he reined in his temper. With clenched teeth, he grated, “No one asked you to come here. This is my house, and I can do what I want.”
She pinched her lips together, but then took in a deep breath to calm herself. “No you didn’t ask me to be here. I’m here because when we were investigating mysterious bruises on your son a few months ago, I came and found your house unfit. You were within an inch of being condemned, and I am here to make sure that you are following through with your promise to take better care of your son, or you will lose him.” Raising her eyebrows, she looked at him expectantly. “Are we on the same page now?”
He looked even more irritated than before, but instead of talking, he chose to keep his mouth shut and nod. Considering the matter closed, she continued with their discussion. “Until the heat is fixed, I would like to see a heater in Shane’s bedroom as well. It’s already colder down there because of the garage, so he needs something to help keep him warm.”
Walking over, she inspected the space heater in the living room. Tilting it sideways, she read the instructions on the side of the machine. “You know these specific heaters cannot run all day. They could easily start a fire.” Standing up, she faced Benjamin once more. “When did you say the furnace would get fixed?”
It looked as if he were grinding his teeth. “Next week.”
“Okay, I’m going to have to stop by again then to make sure, but as long as the temperatures outside don’t drop any further and you do your best to keep everyone warm, I’ll say its okay that you stay.”
“You’re too kind.”
She chose to ignore his sarcastic tone, and made her way over to her bag where her papers were located. Pulling out her checklist, she started going down the list of what she found. “For the most part, the house looks very well kept up, so I commend you on that part.”
She looked up to see what their reaction to her comment was, only to find that Evelyn and Benjamin were both captivated on the television now. It was only Shane that was paying any attention to her.
Reaching down to the coffee table, she grabbed the remote to the television. Pointing it at the screen, she clicked it off.
“What the hell!”
“Hey!”
Both objections were snapped at the same time, blending their words together.
Placing the remote across the room from them, she turned back around and squared her shoulders. This was where she had to muster up all the bravado she could manage. She hated confrontation, but sometimes it was unavoidable.
“I just need your attention for five more minutes, and then you can do whatever you want. For now though, you need to focus on me.” She pointed to herself to emphasize her point. “
They grudgingly complied and slouched back on the couch to listen. With raised eyebrows, Benjamin silently asked, “What are you waiting for?”
Shrugging off their impatient attitudes, Nicole focused back on her list. �
�First things first, you need to get the washer fixed, and bring in a professional to clean up the mess and determine the damage already done. Having mold in the house is not acceptable. Secondly—”
“Do you understand how much that will cost? We don’t have that type of money.”
Nicole calmly looked over to Benjamin after his outburst. “You can always apply for assistance, and in fact, I recommend it. Now, secondly…” She broke eye contact, and looked back down at her paper. When seeing where she was, she glared at the two adults. “The master bedroom is atrocious! There’s food in there, bugs, and I don’t want to know what else. It needs to be thoroughly cleaned, picked-up, and disinfected.”
When there was no objection, she looked back down to her papers. “Those were the two main things. I would really like to see more food in the house, so a trip to the grocery store should be done soon.”
When the room stayed silent, and there were no objections, she looked up to observe the family. She didn’t know if they were okay with what she was saying, or they just wanted her to get out, but she didn’t care. At least I'm being heard, she thought.
“Those were the major things. Overall, the house doesn’t seem too bad. Whatever you guys have been doing to clean it up has been working.” Glancing over, she saw that Shane’s cheeks had turned a light shade of pink. By the way that the blanket had fallen from his shoulders, she could tell that he was no longer freezing, so she wondered if he was blushing instead.
Nicole let her gaze travel over the boy to do a quick check on his physical well being. Aside from the worn clothes, she noticed that he was pale, but had put on a little more weight since she had last seen him. That was a good thing.
“Okay, are we done here?”
Just when she was about to turn, something grabbed her attention. Ignoring Evelyn’s question, she walked over to the chair Shane was sitting in and knelt in front of him. Taking his hand, she turned it over to take a closer look at his wrist. There were small marks that marred his pale skin. To the naked eye, they wouldn’t look like anything in particular, but Nicole knew these marks.
Taking both his hands in hers, she looked up into his face. “Shane, how long have you been cooking in the kitchen?”
Glancing quickly at his parents, and back to her, he pulled his hands form her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Smiling kindly at the boy, she turned her arm over and pulled up her coat sleeve, as well as the sleeve to her shirt. “See these?” She pointed to the scars she had that matched the marks on his wrist. “When I was your age and younger, I had to do a lot of cooking. It is hard not to burn yourself when you are not tall enough to clear a pot all the way or not strong enough to lift something out of the oven.”
Shane looked as if he wanted to say something, but chose to lower his head instead.
Nicole covered her arm back up and tapped his hand encouragingly. “I know a lot of kids your age help in the kitchen. Maybe get a stool to stand on, and ask for help when you need it. A lot worse can happen than these if you’re not careful.” She turned his hand back over to acknowledge the burn marks. “Okay?”
He still didn’t say anything, but he slightly nodded his head to show her he understood.
“Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah.”
“How’s school?”
“Fine.”
These one word answers were nothing new to Nicole. The boy had always been tight lipped about his life. She continued in a soft voice.
“Are you looking forward to winter break?”
This time, she didn’t even get an answer, only a slight shrug of his shoulders.
“Where were you when I got here?”
“We told you that he was at a friend’s house!” By the tone in Benjamin’s voice, Nicole could tell that he was a little more than irritated about her questioning his son.
If she wasn’t so close to Shane, she probably wouldn’t have noticed his subtle flinch, but she did. Keeping her body facing him, she turned her head to glare at the man beside her.
“Umm…” The quiet voice had her turning back around. “He’s right. I was at my friend’s.” Shane looked nervous as he looked to his father, but eventually turned bolder. “Are we done?”
Nicole stood up and smoothed out her skirt. “Yeah, we’re done.” She turned back around, and started gathering her things. Once she was ready to leave, she looked over to the family sitting before her. Benjamin and Evelyn were talking quietly amongst themselves while Shane tried to look anywhere but at her. Figuring that everything had been said, she decided to show herself to the door, but as soon as her foot hit the first stair, she remembered the mural in the basement.
Staying where she was, she turned her head to look in Shane’s direction. “Oh Shane… I saw the walls in your room. Did you paint that yourself?”
Looking hesitant, he answered slowly. “Yeah, why?”
“It’s really good, that’s why. You have an amazing talent, especially for a kid your age.” She couldn’t tell for sure, but it looked as if he enjoyed the compliment. For the first time since she had seen him today, he had stopped fiddling with the small rope in his hands.
“Thank you.” His voice was a little stronger than before.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know.” He looked in her direction, but it felt as if he were miles away. “It’s just stuff I see in my dreams.” She nodded before going back down the stairs.
After stepping out of the house, she quickly walked back to her car. “Come on! Heat up, heat up,” Nicole begged her car after getting in and turning the key. The blast of cold air in her face made her cringe, and she turned down the controls.
As she started to pull away from the curb, she looked down at the clock on her dash. Jeez, where had the day gone? It was almost quitting time, but Nicole didn’t think she could stomach going home right now, so she headed back to the office.
At home, she would be alone. All alone with her thoughts, and she didn’t think she was ready for that yet. If she started thinking, she would think about the tiny life inside of her, and unfortunately, the man that helped put it there.
Thinking back to that day, she wondered once again why she had let things go as far as they had. Yes, she had drunk a little, but not enough to make her act so drastic. Whatever the reason though, it had the same result.
She was pregnant, and had to figure out what to do. She could keep it, but she didn’t know the first thing about raising a child. What if she screwed up like so many other parents she dealt with on a daily basis? Was she ready for that much responsibility?
As she turned on her signal to merge onto the highway, her thoughts continued.
Would it make it into a good family, if she gave it up? This is where her job didn’t give her the luxury of thinking like everyone else. She had firsthand knowledge that not everyone was cut out to be a parent. What if her child got put into a home and wasn’t loved unconditionally?
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she thought about the pamphlets in her purse. The only safe option might be to terminate the pregnancy. That way, the child would never have to feel the pain the cruel world could inflict upon him or her. Could she bring herself to actually go through with it though?
When her eyes started to water, she quickly dashed away her tears so they didn’t hinder her sight. She shook her head to try and clear her thoughts, but nothing was working. It was not the time or the place to think about everything, she chastised herself.
Pulling off the highway, she made a right turn to head back to her office. There were a couple weeks left before she had to make up her mind. She decided to logically lay out all the options when she got home, and go from there.
CHAPTER 4
Nicole nervously sat on the doctor’s table, while she looked at the pictures on the wall. They were of bright flowers, tropical views, and completely contradicted the cold temperature in the room. She took a deep breath in and let it out, try
ing to calm her nerves.
The door burst open, and she straitened, startled by the sudden interruption.
“Sorry! I’m so sorry! I know I’m late… again.” Trinity flew into the room, and threw her stuff down on the corner chair before turning back around to shut the door. “One of my students needed to talk about their project that’s due tomorrow. I answered all her questions as quickly as I could, and with the deadline so close, there was no other time for her. Even though I talked quickly, it felt like it took forever and…”
Nicole calmly held up her hand to stop Trinity from saying any more. “It’s okay. You made it, and that’s all that matters.”
Trinity visibly relaxed, and tentatively touched her hand. “You’re not mad?”
Nicole laughed. “If I were to get mad every time you’re late, I would be forever angry.” She chuckled at her own joke, before smiling kindly at her friend. “Over the years, I’ve kind of gotten used to it.”
Trinity smiled back. “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”
Together they laughed, and Trinity leaned over to give Nicole a hug. While embracing each other, their laughter died out as reality came crashing back to them. Using Trinity as a lifeline, Nicole held on, not yet ready to let go.
“Are you okay?” Trinity’s voice was just a whisper, and almost soothing. When Nicole felt a hand starting to caress her hair, she remembered how good it felt to be cared for by someone. The thought snapped her out of it and with regret, she sighed and let go of her friend. Everything was on her, and she couldn’t rely on anyone else to take care of her anymore.
Not meeting her eye, Nicole gave a slight shake of her head. “No, not really.” Looking heavenward, as if for answers, she breathed, “I’m nervous.”
“Of course you are. That’s only natural.” Trinity rubbed her shoulder in a comforting gesture. “You know…” The tone in her voice was the first sign that indicated that Nicole was not going to like what she was about to hear. “You could always tell the baby’s father. He could help with all of this.” Trinity waved her hand, to indicate the exam room.
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