As a child it had been a secret craving, hidden deep in the belief that such emotion made him weak when he had to be strong to survive. As a man such sentimentality had no place in his world.
Now he wondered if there could be more in his life.
He shook his head, clearing it of half-formed imaginings.
Yes, he’d marry. Arrangements were already in progress. But, while his bride would provide comfort and pleasure, this would be no love match. No partnership based on attraction or volatile emotions. As a kid he’d learnt what an unstable foundation that was.
He’d marry to ensure a line of inheritance. For the stability of his nation. To shore up the prestige and reputation of his dynasty after so much notoriety and disharmony. His bride had been chosen for her impeccable breeding, her connection to one of the wealthiest, most powerful families in Tarakhar, as well as for her beauty and docility.
Not for him a wife who, like his mother, was a magnet for scandal. His children wouldn’t know the disgrace of living in the shadow of outrageous parents. They’d bask in the care of a beautiful, calm, respectable mother. They’d have their father’s unflinching support and protection.
Never would they suffer because of their parents’ behaviour. There’d be no sidelong looks of distrust as a nation waited for them to go the same way as their parents.
A wedding was necessary. But that didn’t stop his desire for Cassie.
He stroked her hair. There was something about this foreign woman, something utterly missing from the paragon of female virtue he planned to wed. He needed time to explore it, savour and enjoy it.
Amir smiled and drew Cassie closer.
He’d refrain from sex this morning, but he had no intention of denying himself in the longer term. Cassie would return with him to Tarakhar as his guest, his lover, till their passion was spent.
One last affair before the business of marriage began.
Arranging the betrothal and then the wedding would take time. Time to sate himself with Cassie’s unique brand of sexual allure. A mutually enjoyable interlude beckoned.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘NO, NO more!’ Cassie stared at the clothes spread across the embroidered coverlet and shook her head. ‘Thank you, but I can’t accept these.’ The garments had been reverently laid out for her approval in a kaleidoscope of sumptuous fabrics, a shopaholic’s dream come true.
The palace maid frowned. ‘Are you sure, ma’am? There is more to come.’
‘Absolutely sure.’ Registering her concern, Cassie softened her words with a smile. She didn’t want Amir’s staff thinking she was ungrateful. ‘It’s all lovely, but there’s more than I need. Far more.’
And more beautiful than the hard-wearing cotton and denim she’d carried in her backpack when she came to Tarakhar. Who ever heard of a volunteer teacher wearing gauzy rainbow hues spangled with semi-precious stones or edged in silver?
Though there was more to her refusal. Seeing the finery reminded her of one of the few times she’d been allowed home to her mother’s chic apartment during the holidays. Her mother had been shopping with her newest lover’s platinum credit card. Her bedroom had been awash with silks and lace, teetering high heels and designer handbags. Yet they’d satisfied her only for a few days, till she’d discovered some woman wearing an even newer, more expensive fashion item that she craved.
Cassie had shrunk from her mother’s blatant greed even as she’d guessed it was a sign of discontent. That her much vaunted emotion-free life hadn’t made her happy. Though she’d never admit it or accept Cassie’s overtures for a closer relationship.
‘I only need a few things,’ Cassie explained to the maid. ‘This just isn’t me.’
Even after bathing in a marble bath the size of a plunge pool, being anointed with attar of roses like a princess from the Arabian Nights and wearing a caftan of finest silk, Cassie knew she didn’t fit in this luxurious palace.
Prisoner in that isolated mountain camp, it had been one thing to hear Amir was a king, to read in his actions and attitude that he was used to command. It was another to see evidence of his position all around her. From the servants’ deep bows to the excitement of people in the street as their air-conditioned four-wheel drives passed by.
Medics had awaited them as they’d crossed the border from Bhutran. It had taken just one phone call as they rode down the mountains and out of the telecommunications black spot for a team of professionals to be on the ground.
All for her.
Amir’s consideration touched a part of her that she’d learned to guard close.
Impulsively she’d turned, reached out a hand to touch him, then stopped as she’d read the carefully blank expressions on his attendants. He’d worn a mantle of aloof authority that distanced him from everyone, even her.
Especially her.
Last night’s lover might never have been.
All morning he’d been reserved. A gulf had yawned between them, unbreachable and forbidding. Loss had welled in Cassie, sideswiping her with its ferocity.
Yet she’d walked into the medical tent telling herself it was for the best. Last night had been madness.
She should be grateful Amir had made it easy to put the madness behind her. Stupidly she hadn’t felt grateful. She’d felt bereft. As if something vital had been severed inside.
The thought had made her square her shoulders. Cassie didn’t do needy.
So she’d kept her head up as she’d been escorted through the palace. Despite the dusty camel-hair cloak, she’d carried herself like a queen through elegant marble corridors and porticoes, past glimpses of richly furnished apartments and picture-perfect gardens.
Now, in this exquisite suite, she gave up pretending.
‘Are you all right, ma’am?’ The maid hurried over as Cassie sank into a gilded chair.
‘I’m fine.’ She smiled up and tried not to notice how the woman’s dark eyes reminded her of Amir. They were a softer, lighter brown, not the incredible midnight-dark hue of Amir’s. They didn’t sizzle as his did. But—
Cassie couldn’t stop thinking about him!
‘I’m just tired, and probably a little too relaxed after that long soak.’
‘That’s good. His Highness was concerned that you rest.’ She clapped her hands. Instantly a couple of women hurried in. After some brisk instructions they cleared the bed.
‘If you’ll permit, ma’am, I’ll have a smaller selection put in your dressing room. When you’re rested you can choose which you’d like to keep.’
‘Thank you.’ Cassie smiled gratefully. It was stupid even to think it, but for a moment, looking at the display of beautiful clothes laid out, the suspicion had crossed her mind that Amir was paying for her services last night. A preposterous idea, but unsettling.
‘Is there anything else I can get you?’
‘No, thanks.’ There was a myriad of things Cassie should be doing—organising a passport to replace the one she’d lost, accessing her bank account and letting the volunteer programme people know where she was. Yet it seemed too much effort. ‘I think I’ll rest now.’
Moments later Cassie was alone. She was safe and cared for. It was absurd to feel a sense of loss. Yet it pooled within her, grim and undeniable.
For the man who’d been her lover such a short time.
A prickle of sensation spread under her skin. Amir had been fierce yet gentle, demanding yet considerate. They’d shared things she’d never dreamed of.
Flattening her lips as they began to curve into a besotted smile, Cassie shot to her feet.
Probably most women felt this…yearning for their first lover. It had only been last night. She’d barely had time to assimilate what had happened before she was chivvied out of the tent for their perilous descent down the mountains.
She should be thankful there’d been no time for awkwardness. Much easier to act as if nothing had happened, as Amir did.
Cassie folded her arms and paced to the window.
She’d initiated their lovemaking. Sex was what she’d wanted. An antidote to the crawling tension that had filled her for a week, and to the stirrings of desire she’d felt for the first time. A way to overcome the murky fear that had surfaced at the idea of being intimate with a man.
So why was she battling distress because Amir kept his distance? Why did she long for a tender look?
She should be pleased he realised what they’d shared was over. That he didn’t press for more.
The idea of Amir wanting more made her breath hitch. Her hand shot out to the window frame for support. For a split second she let herself imagine her and Amir together as a couple, not for a night but for much more.
‘No!’ Cassie spun on her foot and headed into the garden. She was strong and independent. She’d weave no foolish dreams about any man.
Dusk had fallen when Amir went in search of her. His spurt of anxiety on discovering her rooms empty disturbed him. The bottom had dropped from his stomach till he’d seen the open door and realised she’d gone into the garden.
Now, watching her sleep, he assured himself it was normal to feel relief that she was OK. She was his guest, his responsibility.
His lover.
His gaze trailed over her sinuous curves as she sprawled on the day bed in a secluded garden pavilion. The air was heavy with the scent of roses and she lay like an innocent seductress, one hand beneath her cheek, the other flung wide so he had an unimpaired view of her perfect breasts rising and falling beneath fine silk.
He closed the door and paced close.
On his return he’d been sucked into the business of ruling. Agreements, agendas and annotations. He’d met officials and dealt with a few crises.
Yet his mind had been fixed on her. It had taken all his effort not to shove aside his work and go to her. He told himself it was the novelty of their relationship. Lust, in the early stages, was incredibly distracting.
Yet how long since he’d felt one-fifth of this fascination for a woman? His interest in affairs had waned as boredom with his partners’ over-eagerness took over.
In his early thirties and he’d grown jaded with the predictable!
In some ways he was like his father. But whereas his father had sought distraction in vice and mindless pleasure, Amir could control temptation.
Amir sank onto the bed, one arm braced over Cassie’s hip. He lifted his hand and delicately circled one nipple with the tip of his finger. It peaked and he recalled her responsiveness last night when he’d taken that taut bud in his mouth.
Smiling, he touched his lips to that sensitive peak.
She stirred. Drowsily her eyes opened, dark violet and velvety with pleasure.
Amir was here. The laxness in her muscles, the heat in her blood convinced her it was no dream, even as her eyes opened and she found him, black eyes riveted on hers.
‘Amir!’ So right did it seem, it took a moment to shake the cobwebs of sleep away. When she did, Cassie shot a horrified look towards the door. ‘What are you doing? Anyone might come in!’
She surged up, pushing him away, swinging her legs over the edge of the divan and rising on unsteady legs.
‘No one will intrude, habibti, not without permission. These grounds are for my exclusive use and yours.’
Something about the deep, proprietorial tone made her brow pucker. He hadn’t been so interested in her this morning when she’d sought his reassurance.
‘As for what I’m doing.’ His mouth lifted in a rare smile and, despite her misgivings, Cassie felt its impact deep inside. ‘I was caressing my lover.’
My lover. In that resonant drawl the words stirred magic in her soul.
Till she reminded herself he’d withdrawn from her all day. He’d been aloof, not sparing her a private word, and acting as if last night hadn’t happened. Despite her determination to treat it as a one-night stand, his behaviour hurt. It smacked of off-hand dismissal.
It reminded her of the cool attitude of her mother’s lovers. Each had expected his mistress to be available on tap, but had never bothered to think about her needs.
Cassie moved away.
‘I’m not your lover.’
Amir stood and Cassie’s gaze clung to his rangy form, clad this time in tailored trousers and shirt. He looked mouth-wateringly gorgeous with his sleeves rolled to reveal the corded muscle of his forearms. His collar was undone, drawing her eyes to the V of golden skin against the pure white cotton.
‘Are you not?’ Sleek brows pinched in disapproval as he stalked closer.
If she hadn’t experienced Amir’s tenderness she’d have retreated in the face of what looked like searing anger. As it was, trepidation shivered through her.
Her chin shot up. ‘We had one night together. That’s all.’ She told herself that was all she wanted. One night out of time to experience such heady delights. Any more would be too dangerous. Too addictive.
He paced closer, stopped when his breath hazed her cheek and her skin contracted in response. Her nipples stood proud and pouting, as if inviting his touch, and between her thighs moist heat bloomed.
Her cheeks flamed as she registered how her body prepared itself for his possession. As if he only had to touch her and she’d give herself to him!
‘Why not share more than a single night?’ The words, pure temptation, swirled soft as thought on the air.
Because Amir scrambled her brains. He uncorked longings she’d barely known she harboured.
Because she was scared if she didn’t make the break now it would be impossible to drag herself away.
Because she’d had a taste of what it was like to be dismissed by him. It made her feel…vulnerable.
‘You didn’t seem so interested in me this morning!’ She kept her voice cool, but inside shreds of hurt whirled and accumulated, weighing her heart. ‘There was no private discussion. Not so much as a look. For all I knew I’d never see you again!’
That had frightened her far too much.
‘Cassandra.’ His voice was seductively low. ‘I’m sorry.’ He lifted his hand towards her cheek but checked himself, his fingers mere centimetres from her face.
Yet she felt him as if he’d touched her!
‘I sought to protect you from gossip and discomfort. Bad enough that my staff know you were given to me as a sex slave.’ His look was grim. ‘I tried to counter that by ensuring Faruq knew how things were between us until last night. He would have made that known to rest of my staff. My aim today was to reinforce that. To treat you with respect so others would too.’
‘Really?’ The notion hadn’t entered her head. All she’d known was lacerating pain and a sense of shame she couldn’t quite suppress when he’d seemed to spurn her. The possibility he’d attempted to protect her took a lot of assimilating.
Yet hadn’t he cared for her? Hadn’t he kept his distance as much as he could till last night?
‘The people of Tarakhar are good people, but they are easily influenced in matters of reputation. Believe me; I know what I’m talking about.’
The steel in his words grabbed her attention and threatened to divert her.
‘Besides, what’s between us is private.’
The gleam in his eyes was nearly irresistible and Cassie’s heart flipped over.
‘You could have said something. Given some indication.’
Slowly he nodded, his gaze never wavering. ‘Would it surprise you to know I was scared of what would happen if I did? The compulsion to touch you, kiss you and hold you close has driven me insane all day.’
Fingers of heat spread through Cassie as she heard truth ring in his words.
Logic told her to break this relationship, such as it was, before she got in too deep. Yet her overwhelming feelings were relief and excitement. He wanted more, as she did. She wasn’t alone in experiencing this overwhelming need.
‘I can’t imagine you scared.’
His lips twisted wryly. ‘A man doesn’t like to lose control. Especially a man like
me. And you, habibti, are too dangerous a test of my restraint.’
Cassie followed his look to where his hand hovered close to her face. It was unsteady.
Like her limbs that trembled from his nearness.
In that moment, like the single powerful stroke that sliced the Gordian knot, Cassie felt tension and doubt disintegrate in a violent rush of relief.
This was mutual. Amir wanted her as she did him. More, he was honest about it, treating her as an equal. He’d been genuinely considerate in attempting to prevent gossip.
‘I want you, Cassie.’ The words devastated thought. ‘Do you still want me?’
Silently she nodded.
‘Then why not share this passion a little longer?’
His eyes flared, reminding her of the conflagration that had consumed them last night. A delicious shudder racked her body.
She wanted to. How she wanted to.
Yet was it wise?
Suddenly it struck Cassie that, far from being strong all these years, she’d lived in fear. She’d let the past dictate her life, scared of repeating her mother’s mistakes or laying herself open to manipulation. Had she used that as an excuse to hide from her own sexuality?
The disturbing notion wouldn’t shift.
What Amir offered wasn’t manipulation. It was mutual pleasure and respect.
How could that be bad?
‘I’m here in Tarakhar for a reason. I can’t just forget that.’ It was a last-ditch attempt to resist the irresistible.
Amir’s eyes narrowed as if displeased. Then he shrugged. ‘I’m sure that can be accommodated. After all, you’ll need time to sort out your travel documents and so on. There’s no rush to leave, and you’re welcome to enjoy my hospitality for as long as you desire.’
Desire. The word shivered through her very bones.
The evening air hung still. Even the end-of-day chatter of the birds faded as Cassie tried to weigh this sensibly. But it wasn’t logic that dictated her response. It was something far more visceral.
Desert Jewels & Rising Stars Page 43
