A moment of silence, and then she felt his presence. A hand on hers. The relief was overwhelming. “I’m right here.”
And at his touch and his voice it all came back. She wasn’t nineteen any more. She was thirty-two, and pregnant with his babies. And he didn’t want her—or them. Instantly she was cold and wide awake. Her eyes opened to see Kaden towering over her where she lay in a hospital bed, austere and remote in his robes and with that beard. She pulled her hand away, knowing that he must be hating her so much right now.
She looked to the man who had to be the doctor. “What happened?”
“You’re severely dehydrated and fatigued. You’ll need to be supervised on a drip for at least twenty-four hours. But apart from that everything is fine, and your babies are fine too. You just need rest and sustenance.”
Julia immediately put a hand to the swell of her stomach and felt Kaden take a step back from the bed. She couldn’t bear to look at him and see the censure in his eyes. The disgust he must feel that she was here, with this unwelcome news. The last woman in the world he would have picked to be the mother of his children.
She wondered again if she should have come, and her own doctor’s words came back to her. “Julia, twins are a monumental task for anyone to take on board. You should not do this by yourself. You must include the father.”
Kaden’s doctor patted her hand and said, “I’ll leave you alone now to rest.”
He left the room and the silence was oppressive. Kaden walked around so that he was in Julia’s line of vision. She felt acutely vulnerable, lying on the bed in a hospital robe.
“Where are my things?” she asked, as if that would postpone the painful conversation that was due.
“Your bag is still with my secretary and your clothes are here.”
Julia bit her lip. “I can’t believe I collapsed like that. I had no idea—”
He exploded. “How could you not have known you were so weak and dehydrated? For God’s sake, you’re pregnant. Are you not taking care of yourself?”
Julia could actually feel any colour she’d regained drain from her face. She’d known Kaden must be angry, but to see it like this … ?.
He cursed and ran a hand through his unkempt hair. Somehow it only had the effect of making him look even more gorgeous. His black eyes came back to her, and to Julia’s utter shock he looked contrite.
“I’m sorry. I had no right to speak to you like that. This has all been a bit of a shock … to say the least.”
Julia’s heart thumped. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t warn you first. It just seemed too huge to send via text …” She blushed. “I don’t even have your mobile number … and I didn’t think it appropriate to leave a message with your aides.”
His eyes narrowed on her face. “You said if it hadn’t been twins you might not have told me?”
Julia avoided his eye guiltily, fingers plucking at the bedspread. “I don’t know what I would have done, to be honest. It was pretty clear at our last meeting that neither one of us wanted to see each other again.”
His mouth tightened. “Yes … but once a baby is involved … he or she … they are my heirs. Part of the royal Burquati dynasty. If you had kept my child from me I would never have forgiven you.”
Julia looked at him, curling inwards at his censure. “I’m sure I would have told you about the baby, even though I know a lasting reminder of our … our meeting again was the last thing you wanted or expected.”
Kaden’s eyes flashed. For a long moment he didn’t speak, and then he said, “That’s beside the point now. We’ll just have to make this work.”
Julia’s eyes narrowed on Kaden as a shiver of foreboding went down her spin. “What do you mean?”
“What I mean, Julia, is that we will be getting married. As soon as possible.”
Kaden hadn’t even realised he was thinking of such a thing until the words came out of his mouth, but to his utter surprise he felt a wave of equanimity wash over him for the first time in months.
Julia just looked at Kaden where he stood at the foot of the bed. Dominating. Powerful. Implacable. Inevitability and a sense of fatalism made her feel even weaker even as she protested shakily, “Don’t be ridiculous, Kaden. We don’t have to get married just because I’m having your baby.”
He folded his arms, and corrected her. “Babies. And, yes, we do.”
“But …” Julia’s mind was feeling foggy again. She was glad she was lying down. “The people won’t accept me as your wife …”
His mouth tightened. “They’re conservative. It might take a while for them to accept you, but they will have no choice. You will be my sheikha—the mother of my children.”
Julia wondered how it could be possible for her to feel dizzy when she was lying down, but the room was spinning and those black edges were creeping back. She heard Kaden swear again, and he moved towards her, but by the time he’d reached her she’d slipped back down into the comforting numbness of the black place.
One week later
“You are much improved, my dear. You should get out and enjoy some of the sunshine. Sit in the garden, breathe the fresh air. I’ll go and get Jasmine to come and help you.”
Julia smiled at the kindly Dr Assan and watched him leave. He’d been on standby since she’d returned to the palace from the hospital nearly four days before, and had been checking up on her at regular intervals.
For the last few days all she’d done was eat and sleep. And tried to block out Kaden’s proposal—if she could even call it that. He hadn’t mentioned it again. He’d come in and out of her bedroom and not said much at all, usually just looked at her broodingly.
Julia sighed deeply now and sat up. Her room was stupendously luxurious. Kaden had obviously had the palace redecorated in the intervening years, because before it had always had a very rustic and ascetic feel. Now, though, it might have come straight from the pages of an interior design magazine.
It hadn’t completely lost that rustic feel. For instance it didn’t share the de luxe opulence of the Hussein Castle in B’harani. But it was just as impressive. The palace itself looked as if it had been carved out of the hill it stood on, soaring majestically over the small city. Vast courtyards opened out into colourful gardens, where peacocks picked their way over glittering mosaics.
The interior stone floors were minimalist, but covered in the most exquisitely ornate rugs. The walls were largely bare, apart from the occasional silk wall hanging or flaming lantern. Windows were huge and open, with elaborate arches framing stunning views of the city.
Julia had a suite of rooms comprising a bedroom, bathroom and sitting room. With every mod-con and audio visual requirement cleverly tucked away so as not to ruin the authentic feel.
Outside the French doors of her sitting room lay a private courtyard filled with flowers. There was a pond, and a low wall which overlooked the ancient hilly city. In the near distance could be seen the blue line of the Persian Gulf. Seagulls wheeled over head, and the scent of the sea was never far away.
Julia felt incredibly emotional whenever she looked out over the city. From the moment she’d first come to Burquat the country and its people had resonated deep within her. She felt at home here. Or she had until that night—
“Dr Somerton? I’ll help you get ready to go outside.”
Julia glanced around from where she’d been sitting on the edge of the bed to see Jasmine, the pretty young girl who’d been helping her every day. She knew she’d only worry Dr Assan if she didn’t go out, and she craved some air, so she smiled and let Jasmine help her.
Clothes had materialised one morning—beautiful kaftans and loose-fitting trousers to wear underneath—and Jasmine laid out a set now, in dark blue. They were comfortable and easy to wear in the heat—especially now that her bump seemed to be growing bigger by the day. It was as if her coming to Burquat had precipitated a growth spurt.
The palace had many gardens, but Julia’s favourite so far was the orchard g
arden, filled with fruit-bearing trees. Branches were laden with plums and figs, and a river ran through the bottom of the garden, out of the palace grounds and down into the city. It was peaceful and idyllic.
Jasmine left her alone to walk there after showing her where a table and chair had been set up for her to rest in the shade. Julia couldn’t believe how kind everyone was being to her. Certainly the oppressive atmosphere she remembered from Kaden’s father’s time had lifted, and she had to wonder if that was because Kaden’s stepmother had also died, and some of the older, more austere aides were no longer part of Kaden’s retinue.
She sat down and took a sip of fresh iced lemonade, savouring the tart, refreshing bite.
“I hope you don’t mind if I join you.”
It wasn’t a question. Julia looked up to see Kaden standing nearby, and her belly automatically clenched. He’d shaved off his beard and had a haircut, but he looked no less wild or uncultivated despite the custom-made suit he now wore. He alternated between western and traditional dress easily.
She shook her head. As if by magic a man appeared with another chair, and through the trees some distance away Julia could see a man in a suit with an earpiece, watching over his precious Emir.
He sat down, his huge body dwarfing the chair, and helped himself to some lemonade. “You’re looking much better.”
Julia fought not to blush under Kaden’s assessing gaze as it swept down over her body, and wished she’d put her hair up and some make—up on. Then she remembered how quick he’d been to let her go in B’harani and looked away, afraid he might see something of her emotions. Once again she felt humiliated heat rise at remembering that he’d seen the necklace.
“I’m feeling much better, thank you. All of your staff have been so kind. I should be well enough to return home soon. I’ll have to organise a plane ticket back to the UK.”
He shook his head. “You’re not going home, Julia. I’m already arranging to have your belongings packed up and sent here. We can rent out your house in London while you decide what you want to do with it.”
Julia looked at Kaden and her mouth opened. Nothing came out.
He leaned forward, his face grim. “We are getting married, Julia. Next week. Your life is here now—with me.”
Panic bloomed in her gut, but it had more to do with the prospect of a lifetime facing Kaden’s cool censure than the prospect of a lifetime as his wife. “You can’t keep me here if I decide I want to go home. That would be kidnap.”
“It won’t be kidnap because you’ll be staying of your own free will. You know it’s the right thing to do.”
Julia reacted. “Is it really the right thing to agree to a marriage just for convenience’s sake?” She laughed a little wildly. “I’ve already been through one unhappy marriage. I’m not about to jump head-first into another one.”
Kaden was intent, his face stark. “This isn’t about just you—or me. It’s about the two babies you are carrying. And it’s about the fact that everyone knows you’re here and that we were once lovers. The news of your pregnancy will soon filter out, and I want us to be married before that happens. For your sake and our babies’ sakes as much as mine.”
Our babies. Her eyes were wide. She felt control of her own existence slipping out of her grasp. She knew she must have gone pale again, but at least she felt stronger now.
As much as she didn’t want to admit it, his words resonated within her on a practical level—bringing up two children on her own would be next to impossible with no familial support to speak of. Both her adoptive parents had died some years previously. Her divorce had wiped out any savings and a meagre inheritance. How could she afford childcare for two children unless she worked like a demon? And what kind of a life would that be for her children?
But Kaden’s words also impacted on her at a much deeper and more visceral level. Growing up knowing she was adopted had bred within Julia an abiding need to create her own family. To have children and give them the assurance of their lineage and background that she’d never had. Her adoptive parents had loved her, of course … But she’d never really got over the stain of being unwanted by her birth mother and father. Irrationally she felt it was a reflection on her, something she’d done. And she had carried it down through the years to make what had happened with Kaden so much more devastating. But he was the last person she could confide in about this …
The haunting call of the muezzin started up in the city nearby and it tugged on her heart. She’d once fantasised about living here for ever with Kaden, but this was like a nightmare version of that dream.
As if sensing her turmoil, Kaden came out of his chair and down on one knee beside Julia. He took her hand in his. For a hysterical moment she thought he was going to propose to her, but then he said, “You said it yourself when you came here—two babies change everything. I won’t allow them to be brought up on another continent when their heritage is here, in this country. It’s two babies, Julia. How can you even hope to cope with that on your own? They deserve to have two parents, a secure home and grounding. I can provide that. They will have roles to fulfil in this country—one of them will be the next Emir, or Queen of Burquat. Who knows? They might even rule together …”
Julia moved back in her seat. The thought of him seeing how his touch affected her was terrifying. “They also deserve to have two parents who love one another.”
Kaden’s face became cynical as he dropped her hand and spat out, “Love? You speak of fairytales that don’t exist. We will make this work, Julia, because we have to. We don’t need love.”
She saw the conflict in his eyes and on his face. His mouth was a thin line.
He stood up, instantly tall and intimidating. “I’ll do whatever I have to to make this work. You know this is the only way. I will be a good husband to you, Julia. I will support you and respect you.” A flash of heat sparked between them. “And I will be faithful to you.”
A week later Julia looked at herself in the floor-length mirror in her dressing room. The dawn light hadn’t even broken outside yet. According to Burquati tradition, they would exchange vows and rings in a simple civil ceremony as dawn broke.
At any other time Julia would have found the prospect impossibly romantic. As it was all she could think about was Kaden’s grim avowal: “I’ll do whatever I have to to make this work.”
She was wearing an ivory gown, long-sleeved and modest, but it clung to every curve and moved sinuously when she walked. Thankfully the heavy material skimmed over her bump, so it wasn’t too glaringly obvious. A lace veil was pinned low on the back of her head, and Jasmine had coiled her hair into a loose chignon. She wore pearl drop earrings, and Kaden had presented her with a stunning princess cut diamond ring set in old gold the day before, telling her it had been his mother’s engagement ring, to be kept for his own bride.
The thought of wearing a ring that his first wife had also worn made her feel sullied somehow, but she hadn’t had the nerve to say anything to a closed-off and taciturn Kaden. It couldn’t be clearer that he was viewing this marriage as a kind of penance.
If she was stronger … Julia sighed. It was more than strength she needed to resist the will of Kaden. And deep within her she had to admit to a feeling of security at knowing that at least her babies would live lives free of shadows and doubts. She wasn’t even going to admit to another much more personal and illicit feeling … of peace. Julia quickly diverted her thoughts away from that dangerous area.
She thought of the whirlwind it had been since she’d tacitly agreed to this marriage. And of the very muted fanfare that had greeted the public announcement a few days ago. At dinner on the evening their nuptials had been announced, Julia had voiced her building concern to Kaden; the reality of what might be expected of her had started sinking in. “Wasn’t your mother half-English? The people will be used to a foreign Sheikha, won’t they?”
Kaden had avoided Julia’s eye, and that had made her instantly nervous. “Unfortunat
ely the track record of Sheikhas here hasn’t been good since my mother died. Both my wife and my stepmother never really connected with the people. As for my mother … They accepted her, yes … after a rocky start. The truth is that my father went against his own father’s wishes to marry for love. The only reason he was allowed to marry my mother was because she came from a lineage on her father’s side that went back as far as our own.”
He’d looked at her then, with a carefully veiled expression. “It took the people some time to accept her, but they did, and when she died they were just as devastated as my father. He never came to terms with her death during Samia’s childbirth. It changed him … made him withdraw and become more cynical … He blamed himself for having pursued his own selfish desires in bringing her here.”
Julia had protested. “But it was just an awful tragedy.”
Kaden had abruptly changed the conversation then.
Julia had hardly slept since that night, more and more aware of how hard it was likely to be for her to be accepted by the Burquati people, and wondering how far Kaden was prepared to test his people’s limits of acceptance to keep his heirs safe—and here.
CHAPTER EIGHT
KADEN paced back and forth in the huge ceremonial ballroom of the palace. He was dressed in the royal Burquati military uniform. His chief aides and the officiator for the wedding ceremony waited patiently. He looked out of the window for the umpteenth time and saw the faint pink trails in the clear sky that heralded the dawn breaking. The thought of how delicate Julia had looked at dinner the previous evening. She’d hardly said a word, and her eyes had been huge, full of shadows, with the faintest purple smudges underneath.
He bit back a curse, hating the urgency rushing through his blood that had nothing to do with protocol and much to do with his disturbing need to see Julia.
He hadn’t felt like this on his first wedding day. He’d been battling an almost dread feeling of suffocation that day. But since his marriage had ended he’d put that down to a presentiment of what had happened with his wife, and nothing to do with the lingering memory of another woman.
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