I couldn’t suppress a delighted chuckle as I broke into a huge smile. Immediately Justin turned around, and our eyes connected.
His familiar sweet grin melted my heart. “Hi,” he said.
He looked exactly the same as before… a little better even. He’d put on some more weight and his injuries were all completely healed.
But something was off…
“Hi,” I said back, still searching his gaze. His cornflower blue eyes were as open and friendly as ever. But they were different somehow.
For a second Justin seemed confused by my hesitation, but then he let out an easy chuckle. “I’m sorry, do you live here? I’m a guest of Mrs. Havish’s. I’m just waiting for my father to come pick me up. My name is Justin… Justin Martin.” He walked over to me with his hand stretched out, a wide smile on his tanned face.
“W-what?” I gasped. My mind struggled to comprehend.
Now I knew what was wrong with his eyes–
Justin had absolutely no idea who I was.
Chapter 23. Sacrifice
He came closer, and when I made no move to take his hand, he hesitatingly lowered it. I kept searching his face, trying to see some sign… any indication at all that he remembered me.
He shuffled his feet. “Um, I’m sorry if my being here is bothering you. I’m sure I’ll be leaving shortly. Mrs. Havish had told me to wait here. Sorry if I’m intruding—”
I somehow managed to find my voice. “You’re not intruding, and you’re not bothering me. Please don’t apologize.” I stared harder, hoping to catch a glimpse of something… anything.
There was nothing. He turned from me and looked back out the window, clearly uncomfortable under my intense scrutiny. “This sure is a nice view. One in a million. You’re lucky you live so close to the ocean. I’d be out there all day every day if I was you.”
He glanced over his shoulder and flashed me a quick smile, as if attempting to ease some of the ridiculous tension. I was still in shock, and I just stood there like an idiot, gaping at him.
“I used to live close to the beach,” he continued when I didn’t say anything. “Not on it like you, but just a few blocks away. That was in Del Mar, down in San Diego. But my dad just got transferred up here, and now we live further inland.”
I staggered over to a chair and sat down. I noticed the coffee table I’d slammed through the other day had been replaced, and there was no evidence of any trauma. Erased from existence, as if it never happened.
Like me and Justin.
I swallowed, and my voice was a cracked whisper. “When did you move here?”
“A few months ago. Right after the Fourth of July. I just started at St. Morgan’s Prep this week. I’m a senior.” He narrowed his eyes and studied me. “Do you go there, too? I don’t think I’ve seen you. ‘Course I’ve only been there a few days, and it’s pretty overwhelming being the new guy. So many faces and names to learn all at once.”
He thinks it’s September. Four whole months ago. Before I arrived here… before I showed up to totally ruin his life.
I gulped again and nodded, silently cursing the tears that forced their way down my cheek.
Justin’s expression immediately changed to one of concern, and he came over and knelt beside me. “Oh, wow, hey, I’m sorry… are you okay? I’m sorry for just talking away… I shoulda known something was wrong with you.” He placed his hand on my arm. “Do you need me to get someone?”
I shook my head. “No… no… I’m fine. I—I just need a minute.” I took a couple deep breaths and tried to compose myself. I had always known that Justin’s memory of our time together might be lost during the procedure, and I should’ve prepared myself for the possibility. But I hadn’t. Deep down, I never really believed it would happen. And the realization that our friendship had been completely obliterated was an unexpected and brutal punch in the gut.
Admittedly, Justin had been pretty traumatized by his relationship with me. But was the only way to undo the damage to remove all his memories of the times we’d had together, even the good ones? If that was it, if that was the price I was being forced to pay for his peace and happiness…
It was worth it.
Seeing him this happy, this healthy, this free of the wickedness that had befallen him… even if it meant losing him as a friend… it was worth it.
As much as it tore me up inside, I would willingly sacrifice my happiness for his.
I took several more deep breaths, wiped away my tears, and gave a faint smile. “I’m sorry I’m being so weird. I just lost a really good friend, and I’m pretty devastated about it. And seeing you here caught me off guard.”
I could feel the compassion that filed his eyes. Justin always was such a genuine guy. “I’m so sorry. That’s awful. If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?”
I lifted my gaze to his. “He had to go away,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, his voice low. “Maybe he’ll come back someday.”
I shook my head as another tear escaped. “It’s for the best that he doesn’t.”
He was quiet, but I could tell that my answer threw him a bit. Still, he was too polite to press it. I rested the side of my head on my hand and stared at the floor.
“What’s your name?” he asked a moment later.
I made a strange noise, somewhere between a hiccup and a laugh. “Calista. My name is Calista McCoy. And Ana, Mrs. Havish, is my grandmother.”
He raised his eyebrows slightly and gave a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Calista McCoy.” He held out his hand again, and this time I took it. His beautiful energy soared up through my arm and straight into my heart. “I can definitely see the family resemblance. You both have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen.”
I dropped his hand and glanced away. “Thanks,” I murmured. “So what’re you doing here?” I was curious to know what was going through his head.
He sat down on the couch beside my chair and crossed his ankle over his knee. “Well, it’s a bit of an odd story, to tell you the truth…”
Understatement of the century.
“I guess I was in some sort of an accident. Best they can tell, I was surfing or swimming or fell overboard from a boat. Guess I was pretty banged up, but this man rescued me and brought me back to shore. They cleaned me up and gave me some fresh clothes and brought me here.”
“What man?”
“Never did catch his name. Nice guy though. I owe him my life. He just told me I’d been unconscious for some time, and brought me over to get checked out by the doctors and nurses here. Now they’re just trying to track down my dad to come get me and bring me home.”
“Oh, really? They’re bringing your father here?” Why did I think that wasn’t very likely?
He nodded. “That’s what Mrs. Havish said. She said she had to talk to him, but I guess they’re having a tough time trying to find him right now. He does that sometimes… takes off. But only for a day or two.”
“Why don’t they just take you home?” I wondered aloud.
He shrugged. “Guess the doctors thought I shouldn’t be alone for a while. They said I’d had a bad head injury, and even though I was fine now, I needed to be watched closely for at least 48 hours. So they didn’t want me to go home if no one was there. And Mrs. Havish is so nice, she’s offered to let me stay here…” He chuckled. “I mean, more like insisted.”
“Yeah, she’s really something else,” I murmured. “If you’ll excuse me I’ll be right back.”
Justin smiled. “Take your time. I could stare out these windows all night long.”
I hurried out of the room and met Ana’s hopeful, but wary gaze. I shook my head. “He has no idea who I am. He thinks it’s early September.”
Lily and Sophie gasped, and Ana bowed her head. “Yes. Unfortunately, the spell undid more than was intended. There’s nothing more we can do to restore his missing memory without risking serious damage. We’d only wanted to undo up to the nigh
t he discovered your identity and triggered his Hunter curse. But as you saw, a bit more was erased. Other than that, however, it was a remarkable success. His personality seems the same, and he remembers all the important details of his life.”
“Except me!” I whispered loudly. “He has no idea who I am! It’s like I’ve never existed to him!”
“Perhaps it’s better that way,” Ana said quietly.
I glared at her and my hands trembled. I knew she was right… I’d already come to the same conclusion myself. But that didn’t make it any less heartbreaking.
I sat down on the couch and buried my face in my hands. Sophie and Lily came and sat beside me.
“Does that mean he doesn’t remember us either?” Sophie asked sadly.
“Probably not, unless you made an impression on him his first few days at St. Morgan’s,” Ana replied.
“No, not until later.” Lily frowned. “But other than that he seems okay?”
“It appears so. Calista, what do you think… how did he feel to you? Do you think he is healed?” Ana asked.
I lifted my face from my palms and slowly nodded. “Other than the fact that I’m as significant to him as some random stranger on the street, then yeah, he feels great. Better than ever, actually.”
It hurt to admit what a huge and dramatic shift in his energy I’d felt. He hadn’t been the same since the night of the Winter Ball and his Witch-Hunter curse was triggered, and now that he felt good again, the suffering he’d been going through was even more glaringly apparent.
His soul had been shattered because of me. But he’d been given a second chance. We both had.
“Maybe it is better this way,” I murmured. “There was so much baggage and drama that happened between us… maybe a fresh start is just what we all need. A chance to make our friendship better, and this time I won’t make the same mistakes, and he won’t get hurt…”
“Calista,” Ana said softly, shaking her head. “You must know that’s impossible.”
“Why?” But I didn’t need to hear her answer. I already knew. Deep down, I knew that in order to truly ensure Justin’s happiness and safety, I’d have to stay away from him forever. We all would.
“I think you know why,” Ana said gently. Sophie let out a quiet sob beside me, and Lily wiped away a tear.
“So that’s it? We act like we never knew him, and we all just go our separate ways?” I whispered.
Ana’s mouth was firm, but I felt the compassion that emanated from her. “You know that’s the only way. It’s too risky for him to be around you. If anything should trigger his memory…”
“I know, I know. You don’t have to spell it out for me,” I sighed.
“How are we supposed to act around him?” Sophie asked. “Are we just supposed to ignore him? What if he tries to be our friend anyway?”
Ana was understanding, but stern. “I trust you three will know the right thing to do and how best to handle the situation. Think of his future… of his happiness. Would you risk his health, and possibly his life, again?”
We all slowly shook our heads. Sophie sniffed and grabbed my hand. “We just avoid him at all costs,” Lily whispered.
I gulped and picked at a loose thread on the corner of the couch. If I pulled it hard enough, would the whole thing fall apart?
“Can we at least say goodbye?” Sophie asked.
“How do you say goodbye to someone who doesn’t even know who you are?” I replied flatly.
“How’re you going to explain that it isn’t the beginning of September, but the middle of January? That might be quite upsetting for him,” Lily pointed out.
Ana nodded. “Yes, we have someone working on a special blend of calming herbs that will help him to understand what has happened with minimal further stress. Once he has accepted it, he should be able to move on and live a normal, healthy life. That is what you want, isn’t it?” She looked at me when she asked the question.
“He said his dad was coming here? I can’t believe you’d invite an old Witch Hunter over to a house full of witches.” True, Justin’s dad was too old for the curse to take effect, and therefore was basically harmless. But he was proud of his family’s special ‘gifts’ and could be a threat if he wanted to expose our secret.
“We’ll be returning Justin to his father when he is ready. As far as he knows, his son was missing for a while, but now he’s back. He sustained a major head trauma and has mild amnesia, but will live a happy and healthy life. He will in no way know that there was any witchcraft involved.”
We sat in silence for several long moments. “So that’s it, huh? We just undo everything, act like nothing ever happened, and carry on as usual?” I knew my voice sounded bitter, but I couldn’t help it.
“Would you prefer he tried to live the rest of his life suffering the way he was?” Ana asked.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “No. Of course not. Obviously I want him happy.”
“Then this is the only way.”
Lily stared blankly at a wall, breathing deeply, while Sophie frowned and rubbed her eyes. “It’s weird…I didn’t even know him all that long, but it seems like we’ve been friends forever.”
Lily and I nodded. “It’s because we’ve all been through so much together,” I murmured. Some of us more than others.
“What do we do now?” Lily whispered.
“You know what I want to know?” I glanced around at the three of them. “We’re supposed to be these powerful, magical beings descended from gods to make this world a better place and help humans. So why have we done such a great job of ruining this one’s life?”
Sophie’s mouth twisted into a grimace. “Well, to be fair, he was designed to kill our kind. So perhaps that put a mild kink in the cosmic order.”
“Besides, we haven’t ruined his life,” Lily added. “He’s going to be fine now. Better than fine. You said so yourself… his energy felt great. All that’s really happened is he’s lost four months. He’ll have no memory of being rejected by you, or of being a Witch Hunter, or of trying to kill you, or of trying to kill himself, or of having his soul ripped out and put together again—”
I held up my hand. “Okay, okay, I get it. It’s just a bitter pill to swallow.” But something she’d said had triggered a memory. I turned to Ana. “Do you think it’d be all right if I talked to him for just a minute more? It’s not about me or us or anything. In fact, I think it might help him.”
She was thoughtful for a moment. “I trust you will do the right thing. Keep it to a minimum and do not encourage a friendship with him. It doesn’t take much for a boy to fall for a pretty girl who is being nice to him.”
I stood up. “I know what I’m doing. Be right back.”
Chapter 24. Bittersweet
Justin glanced up and gave me a warm smile. I walked back to my chair, subtly avoiding eye contact.
“Are you feeling better?” he asked. “You seem a bit better.”
I nodded and sat down. “I just had to call my boyfriend, Nicholas. He’s on his way here now.”
“Cool.” Justin moved over to sit on the couch. “You guys been together long?”
“Yes, a real long time. I love him with all my heart. We’re getting married one day.”
He smiled again. “Well then, Nicholas is a really lucky guy.”
This time I couldn’t stop myself from returning his kindness, and I gave him a small grin. “Thank you.” Here was my opening. “What about you… do you have anyone special in your life?”
He glanced away, but I could feel his embarrassment. He chuckled softly. “Nah…”
“Really? I find that hard to believe.”
He shook his head. “I’ve only been living here a few months. Haven’t met all that many people yet.”
I stared at him, and tried to keep my conversation casual and my tone natural. Because I knew he was so lying to me right then! The second I’d asked him if he had anyone, his mind had filled with yearning, and a deep sense
of unrequited love. Was it Savannah? Or had some part of his memory of me survived intact?
“Oh, that’s too bad. No one has managed to catch your eye yet?” I pressed.
He paused. “Well…” Then he stopped himself. “Nah… never mind.” He chuckled again and started to fidget with his hands.
“What? Tell me,” I urged, hoping my voice didn’t sound as desperate to him as it did to me.
He half rolled his eyes, and brushed his shaggy hair out of his face. “Well, I did meet this one girl. Right after I moved out here, in fact. I thought we’d hit it off. I really was liking her… a lot.” He broke off and stared out the windows.
“What happened?”
He smirked and shook his head. “You don’t want to hear this.”
“I do! It sounds romantic.” I gave him an encouraging grin.
He shrugged. “Not romantic. Nothing, really.” Then he sighed and lowered his voice. “We’re from two different worlds. I didn’t think it mattered, but I guess it did. I thought we had a lot in common and enjoyed just being with each other. But I guess…” He paused. “And she’s so beautiful. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen in my life. Funny, too. Most people probably don’t know that, though, ‘cause she comes off kind of reserved at first. And smart. Sweet.”
“I don’t get it,” I said, my own heart practically breaking as I felt his profound disappointment. “It sounds like you were really into her. Why did you think you’re from different worlds, and that she didn’t want you?”
“There’s just certain things a guy can tell without having to have it spelled out. Her family is richer than the Pope. My dad drives a twelve-year-old Honda. Her grandfather has a library named after him at the school I go to on a partial scholarship. Two different worlds. And she didn’t want me to be in hers. Not really.”
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