"Mum are you ready yet?"
We both turned towards Devon across the street. "Please excuse my daughter's dulcet tones," I said sarcastically. "She hasn't had a voice for so long but is truly making up for lost time!" I turned towards Spike and my smile dropped at the sight of his expression.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you," Spikes eyes bored into my soul which was unnerving.
"But you...Spike I," I didn't know what to say, he had totally confused me with his comment and I tried desperately to get the correct words out. "I'm not yours to protect Spike."
"Yet, you're not mine yet!"
"Mum I need the toilet!" Tommy shouted across the street.
I looked between Spike and Tommy pulled between the two. I was confused by Spike's comment and a little overwhelmed by everything.
"Give me a call if you need anything." He nodded his head before turning to casually get into his vehicle.
I picked up my bags and strolled across the road in a daze. "Is everything okay Louise?" Amy asked with concern on her face.
"Yeah fine, I just have a lot going on with all this." I gestured towards the children and the building in front of us, letting out a sigh.
"I can come in with you, if you want?"
I shook my head, "I'll be fine, I need to do this Amy. I hope you understand?"
"I certainly do. Remember to give me a call if you should need me."
I kissed Amy lightly on the cheek before I directed the children towards the door. The lady that had greeted me on my first visit had watched the whole scene from the window and looked at me with raised eyebrows as she let us into the foyer.
"Is everything okay Louise?" Nancy asked looking at my obvious confused state as I didn't know if I was coming or going.
I nodded as I looked down at two very excited children.
She seemed reassured, "Please follow me to your new room."
We walked up three flights of stairs that opened up onto a narrow corridor lined with wooden doors with gold metal numbers on them. I followed Nancy until she stopped outside room number seventeen and swiftly opened the door using a key from her big bunch that were attached to her trousers. The children ran into the room and their excitement was quickly dampened as they both looked around the sparse room which contained one single bed and a set of bunk beds that were pushed tightly up against the far wall. The room was decorated in natural tones of creams and light browns which made it pleasant.
"Here is your key," Nancy said handing me a bronzed key attached to a wooden key ring. "The communal kitchen is down the far end of the corridor and you're fortunate to have the bathroom directly across the corridor. I'll leave you to unpack but if you need anything I'll be in reception until 7.00pm, then Brenda will be there for the night shift." Nancy smiled as she left the room, slowly pulling the door closed behind her.
The children stood still as they looked around the room, "Is this where we're having our holiday mum?" Tommy asked as he went to sit on the bottom bunk.
I nodded my head and could feel my eyes well up. I tried to fight back the tears, I hated letting the children see me upset but I couldn't hold them in any longer. Sitting down on the single bed, I brought my hands to my face and sobbed like I had never sobbed before. The sound echoed around the tiny room as I howled until I had nothing left to give.
I felt the children sit either side of me, and realised that I needed to get it together quickly otherwise I would frighten them.
"It's okay mummy, I promise to look after you." Tommy wrapped his little arm as far as it would go around my back to cuddle me offering reassurance. The kids were just amazing, after all that they had been through they were now offering me comfort, it should've been the other way around.
I let out a loud yawn and covered my mouth quickly, "Sorry kids I'm exhausted. Why don't we make the beds up and lay down for a while before we go and explore?"
The children nodded and jumped up quickly to help me remove the bags and put the clean bedding onto all of the mattresses and duvets.
I removed my shoes and snuggled under the covers with the children either side which was a squeeze on the single bed. As we lay there warm and safe, I thought of what they'd been through in their short lives but how blessed I was to have two amazing children. My eye lids became heavy and I found myself quickly drifting off to sleep.
"Tommy you need to be quiet, you'll wake mum."
I could hear talking further in the distance as I was roused from my sleep and slowly opened my eyes a little disoriented. Tommy and Devon were placing our clothes into the chest of drawers that was positioned under the window.
"No that's mums drawer, you need to put it in yours Tommy." Devon let out a sigh clearly exasperated by Tommy's inability to follow simple instructions.
"Sorry kids, I must have fallen into a deep sleep." I pushed myself up slightly so that I was leaning on my right arm to observe the children further, "You're doing a lovely job."
Tommy smiled at me as Devon snatched a pair of Tommy's pyjamas from his hand.
"Devon be nice to your brother." I said sternly as she could be very over powering.
"I am mum, he just doesn't listen." Devon huffed as she put the pyjamas into the correct drawer.
I lifted the quilt and winked at Tommy as he quickly scrambled onto the bed and into my embrace for a cuddle. Tommy had always been a mummy's boy whereas Devon was more independent and everything was on her terms.
"What do you think of the hotel?" I asked intrigued as to what they both thought of the whole situation.
"The room's small and there's no television." Tommy stated looking at me as he wrinkled his face.
Devon closed the drawer looking pleased at what she had accomplished, "It's not as nice as Amy's."
I gave a wry smile, "I know but it's not forever. It's just until the nice man at the council gives us somewhere else to stay."
"Does that mean we're not going back home to daddy?" Devon asked now standing looking at me with confusion.
"That's right, this is going to be our new home from now on." I said waiting for the gazillion questions that were sure to start flowing out of Devon's mouth.
"Good!"
"What did you say Tommy?" I asked although I was sure I heard him correctly.
"Good. I'm happy we don't have to go back."
Spike
Rev was half an hour late and I was doing everything within my power to stop Diesel from having a shit attack. This is what he did, Rev played games but Diesel wasn't in any mood to be cocked about. I don't even know why I agreed to come this evening, this wasn't my thing as he usually brought Bear, Hound or Justice on business matters like this. I was more often than not kept out of this shit because I ran one of the legit businesses like CJ and Locke but I guess he just wanted to catch up this evening.
"How's Ink doing?" I asked trying to take his mind off things.
The brief mention of her name made him smile, "She's doing well all considering." He pondered thoughtfully, "Are you still okay to do her tattoo on Monday?"
"Yeah, the design she's put together is great." He nodded his head and continued to tap the table with his fingers which was doing my fucking head in.
We both turned to the sound of laughter as Rev, Sunny and Bishop casually walked into the pub and over to the bar to order their drinks.
"Fucking pricks!" Diesel stated as he took a swig of his jack.
"Chill! He wants a reaction so don't fucking give him one." I made eye contact with Rev as he looked around the pub, giving a slight nod of the head before he made his way over.
"Sorry boys didn't mean to keep you waiting." He stated as he joined us in the booth with a shit eating grin.
"We've only just got here ourselves, we thought we may have missed you!" I said as a matter of fact, nudging Diesel to get him to lighten up a little.
Sunny and Bishop didn't join us, they sat at the bar watching from a far. Although Rev was the President of the Kent charter he wasn't w
idely respected and kept his goons close for back up. Duke fucking hated him and the only reason he was still alive was the fact that we couldn't prove that he was responsible for Viper's death and that he had contacts, contacts that we needed to get rid of our drugs.
"How's that old lady of yours Diesel? I hear through the grapevine that she's a beauty." Rev rubbed his chin smiling at Diesel to get a reaction.
I could see Diesel's fists clench and the tightening of his jaw as he sized up the situation. We could take Rev and his henchmen easily but Duke would then kill us for fucking everything up.
"She's a beauty alright, Diesel's punching well above his weight," I said humorously trying to defuse the situation. "Anyway, I know we haven't come here to exchange small talk." I raised my eyebrows looking at Rev expectantly who still hadn't taken his eyes off Diesel. I'm sure that man was looking to get his arse kicked.
Rev glanced towards me, "Your right young Spike, here's the address where we're meeting on Thursday." He slid the scrap of paper along the table and I reached out to take it but he didn't immediately remove his hand. "Tell Duke I want to speak to him. I'll visit him tomorrow evening as we have some important things to discuss." With that he stood knocking back his drink in one gulp, and nodded at the two guys to follow him as he casually strutted out of the bar.
I could see Diesel physically relax, "He's such a fucking arsehole, every time I see him I want to smash his face in."
I chuckled at Diesel's comments. We were more like best friends than cousins and I'd do anything for him but he was lucky that I understood what an arsehole he was over the years and knew how to handle his mood swings and constant outbursts.
The barmaid brought us another drink, courtesy of the owner. We both raised our glasses to toast the man before knocking them back. This treatment was becoming more regular which was flattering but on the flip side embarrassing. The owners of certain establishments thought that they needed to please us in order for their businesses to be treated respectably but we didn't roll like that.
"What's happening with Louise? Is she out of Amy's apartment yet?"
I nodded, "She moved into the refuge today."
"What's that face for?" Diesel asked looking confused.
"I wanted her where I could keep her safe. I can't do anything if she's in that place."
Diesel sniggered, "They're professionals Spike. It's their job to look after her and the kids, not yours mate."
"I know that but I want to, I just feel this urge to protect them." I rubbed my forehead and turned to Diesel, "Does that sound fucked up?"
"In any other circumstances yes because you've only known her two minutes." I let out a snigger at his sarcasm. "But because I know you and what you've had to deal with, I'd say no. You have this urge to protect because of what happened to Helen but you need to remember that you can't save everyone Spike. I've said this to you a million times over the years but you can only save the people that want to be saved. Don't let it be at the detriment of your own feelings and happiness."
I listened to his words, taking everything in. Diesel knew me better than anyone and his judgement was correct, I did have a tendency to try and protect people especially women. This had caused myself and others pain over the years because women couldn't cope with the thought of a man being nice to them and not wanting anything in return apart from their happiness. I'd had plenty of women turn up either at the club or my apartment thinking that we were in a relationship purely because I'd helped them out of a sticky situation. I had become the brunt of many jokes and piss taking from the guys but I couldn't help it, it was in my makeup, this had shaped me into the man that I had now become.
"Do you like her?" Diesel asked with sincerity in his voice.
"It's difficult man, I want to make sure that they're safe. I will do everything within my power to make sure that her husband never hurts them again."
"But!" Diesel said looking at me expectantly.
"But when I don't see her, I miss her. Fucking hell I'm soft!"
"Well, we all know that but that's what makes you, you! Ahhh, give me a hug baby cousin."
Diesel opened his arms to give me a squeeze before pulling my cheeks and wobbling them like you'd do to a child.
"Get off me you dickhead. I was wondering how long it would take before you started taking the piss." I eagerly brushed him away with my hands.
"Seriously though, have you told her?" Diesel stood fumbling around in his pocket for his keys.
"I may have suggested something today that indicated that I like her," I grinned as I stood and followed him towards the door. "She's so fucking jumpy when I'm near her, although she's getting better but I don't know if she'll ever accept another man into her life."
"What's the matter, have you lost your charm?" Diesel nodded at Ramsey who had been keeping a watchful eye over our rides while we were in the pub.
"No! I just gotta be in it for the long haul."
"You obviously like her then." He stated mounting his ride.
"Yeah, I guess I do."
Chapter 8
Louise
"Thanks Maggie I really appreciate this." I walked into the living room placing the twin's bags on the floor. Maggie had agreed to look after the children for me today as I had an important meeting at the council office regarding benefits and housing. I didn't relish the idea of taking the twins as I didn't know how long I was going to be but Amy had suggested that Maggie could look after the children so that I didn't need to worry. This obviously wouldn't stop me from worrying, I had only known the group for a week but they had yet to give me any cause for concern. I found it difficult to trust, especially after the way Liam and his mother had treated me over the years but I was slowly coming around to the idea that there may be hope for a better way of life.
"Not a problem Louise, I told you I don't mind having them. I was hoping that one of my four children would've had kids by now." Maggie raised her eyebrows and sighed as she directed me into the kitchen. "Have you got time for a drink before you go?" she asked as she switched on the kettle.
"No sorry Maggie, it's going to take me forty minutes to walk to the council offices from here so I better get going."
I bent down to give Tommy and Devon a kiss as they sat on the sofa watching Scooby-Doo, "Be good for Maggie please, she's doing me a huge favour." I whispered as they both nodded in unison understanding what I'd just said.
"I'll call you a taxi Louise, you can't walk to Epping high street from here." Maggie reached for her phone.
"Honestly Maggie, I'll be fine. The walk will do me good and I could do with saving the money." I hung my bag around my neck and put my arm through the large handle so that it was secure and made my way towards the front door.
"I can give you some money Louise if you're short." Maggie said sympathetically.
I shook my head, "That's lovely of you to offer but I'm fine. Thanks again Maggie and please give me a call if there's a problem."
Maggie smiled, "They'll be fine, see you soon."
I waved as I walked down the brick paved path that led to the street and started the long journey to the council offices.
I walked at a steady pace through the residential areas and eventually found my way onto the high street and familiar territory. I used the phone that Spike had given me for directions and was now grateful for the gift. My tummy started to twist at the thought of Spike, he was everything that Liam wasn't and everything that any parent would tell their child to stay away from but he did things to my body that I didn't know were possible without even being touched. The thought made my cheeks warm. Get a grip Louise!
I let out a sigh as I continued down the high street until I came to the council offices. Fumbling around in my bag I found the scrap of paper that had the lady's name written on it that I needed to speak to but as I removed it from my bag, a gust of wind took hold of the paper and I quickly took chase on the grassed area adjacent to the building. As soon as I was upon it another gust of
wind took hold and blew it further away, to passersby's I probably looked like a lunatic chasing litter down the street. I was about to give up all hope when I noticed a man in a grey tracksuit step onto the note before bending down to retrieve it from under his trainer. He stood and I noticed how tall he was as he stepped forward and handed me the piece of paper.
"I'm assuming this is yours." He said with a smirk as he'd obviously seen me running around like a crazed lady.
I could feel my skin redden under his scrutiny and quickly took the piece of paper from his hand, "Thank you, I was worried that I'd be chasing it all day." I said laughing nervously.
We stood there awkwardly looking at each other, "Well I'd better be going, thanks again." I said before turning.
"Do you want to grab a drink?"
I quickly turned to see the man still rooted to the spot, looking at me intently. "Erm...I've got an appointment," I said holding up the piece of paper. "I'd better be going or I'll be late." I smiled sweetly before turning around to walk back in the direction of the council offices. Before I opened the big glass doors, I glanced over my shoulder to see the man still standing in the same position glaring at me. I smiled uncomfortably and entered the building feeling a little uneasy about my latest encounter.
"Hello, can I help you?"
I was pulled from my thoughts as the smartly dressed lady spoke to me.
"Oh erm...I'm here to see Sarah Kennedy. My name is Louise Walker." I stated as I read the name on the piece of paper.
The lady smiled and typed away on her computer as I took the opportunity to look around the spacious lobby.
"You can either take the lift or the stairs to the second floor." She said pointing in the direction I needed to go in, I smiled and nodded as I made my way in the direction she had pointed.
The interview itself ran smoothly and Ms Kennedy was sympathetic to my needs of keeping my information private due to the circumstances. There were lots of forms to complete and I was conscious of how long this was all taking. Ms Kennedy informed me that she would check the forms but I should be finished within the hour, and was happy for me to take a quick break so that I could contact Maggie to see if the children were okay. I had thankfully programmed her number into my phone this morning but my earlier calm demeanour was slowly slipping away as I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for her to pick up the phone. It rang and eventually went to answer phone and I hastily left a message for her to call me back as soon as she received my message.
Spike (Aces MC Series Book 3) Page 10
