Remember was glad that Martha was so concerned about the health of her child. The truth was, she was worried about it too.
Unlike her mother, Martha and Tabitha avoided hovering over her. She was grateful for that. The more that people hovered over her the angrier she felt about her reactions to what Jordan had done to her. She had lived in love and safety until the moment of the attack. She wanted that back. She wanted to feel like her world was safe and whole again. She wasn't sure if that security could ever return.
"These raspberries will make an excellent jam. I might even enter it in the fair," Tabitha said.
"Only if you want to compete with mine," Martha said.
"Martha's jams always win. She has a secret ingredient that she refuses to share," Tabitha said pretending to look hurt.
"Perhaps I will try my hand at a raspberry jam as well," Remember said. She would make jams and quilts and anything that would keep her hands and mind busy. Maybe that would be enough to take the fits of fear away.
***
Cyrus walked through the kitchen door and placed his sack on the counter.
"Been out to the bear clan I see," his mother said. Remember was standing beside her and mashing up berries in a bowl.
"Several patients to see there," Cyrus said lowering himself into a chair. After a full day of walking his leg was sore from where the prosthetic rubbed against it. He thought of taking it off. If only his mother had been there he might have, but even though Remember had seen his stump in the darkness of their bedroom at night, he couldn't bring himself to let her see it in the light of day.
"The bears pay well. Probably the best of all his patients. Plenty of dried meat, herbs, and fruit in here as well as some seeds," his mother said.
"Was it heavy to carry?' Remember asked looking at the bag and then at Cyrus.
"Not too heavy," he said. He hated the thought of Remember thinking him weak.
"Dinner should be finished in an hour or so," his mother said. He hadn't noticed the pot on the stove. It was covered, so the aromas from whatever was being cooked were contained.
"I do have some paper-work to do in my office, but I wanted to make sure my wife and child were well first," Cyrus said.
"Martha gave her some tea," his mother said.
"I told her I really am fine. I just need some time," Remember said with a sigh.
"All right. I will try to stop worrying then," Cyrus said. He wouldn't actually be able to stop worrying about her but he would try to show the worry less if that was what she wanted. He remembered the days after he lost his leg. He wanted nothing more than to be alone and allowed to wallow in his misery. The nurses and doctors fussing over him at the hospital had made him angry. Perhaps Remember really did just need space. He would try to give it to her.
Chapter 7
Remember was glad Uncle Isaac brought his wagons and insisted she ride with him. The distance to their moon haven was further than she expected. The night before she drank some of the calming tea Aaron had given her. She'd felt unsettled most of the evening and her heart had started to race as she prepared for bed. The tea had soothed her but it had also made waking difficult.
"Is Cyrus kind to you?" her uncle asked.
"He is very kind," Remember said glancing at the wagon behind them where Cyrus and his mother were riding. Some members of the pack were walking the distance but she guessed that it would be too much for Cyrus to keep up on his leg. She was disappointed that she was put in a wagon separate from him. He had been quiet for the last several days and she had hoped to find time for them to speak. She hoped that her transformation into a werewolf and near attack on him hadn't made him afraid of her.
"Do you have any letters to send to your mother?" Isaac asked.
"I will give them to you after the moon," Remember said. She had written two letters though in both she hadn't known what to say other than to assure her mother that she was well.
"Do you need anything for the baby?" he asked.
"It is still a long time until he comes," she said.
"Your mother will skin me alive if she thinks I am not taking care of you. If you need anything be sure to let me know," her uncle said.
"Thanks," she said.
It was already growing dusky when they arrived at the edge of a wooded area. Isaac ordered everyone out of the wagon with supplies. She followed her uncle to a large cabin about a mile into the woods. She could feel the tension in her body as the werewolf within her felt the pull of the moon.
She laid down the supplies she carried in the pile with the others. The witches who accompanied them would care for the horses and wagons as well as making sure that the wolves remained in the forest.
Her uncle gave his signal and she began to take off her clothes. Her hands trembled at her buttons but she forced herself to undo them. She didn't want to tear another dress. This was her pack. She was safe with them. They would protect her. She looked around for Cyrus but didn't see him. Tabitha was at her side.
They folded their clothes and placed them neatly in a pile against the wall. Her wolf pushed inside of her. She looked at her uncle silently begging for him to give his signal. He did and she let her wolf rush forward.
***
Cyrus let his wolf rush forward but he didn't feel as much relief as he had hoped. The days of the full moon were still hard. He hated for the pack to see him without his leg so he always made sure to find as vacant a corner as possible to strip down in and to remove his prosthetic leg. Then, he stood with one hand balancing him against the wall as he waited for the signal from his alpha.
Once the signal came he let his wolf out. The first few times he had felt a deep shame at his pack seeing him. He was a three-legged wolf and in the beginning he and his pack hadn't been sure what that meant. He could keep up with the pack now and his fellow pack members barely seemed to notice his missing leg. Tonight he was only worried about one member of his pack seeing him.
He cautiously stepped forward to join his pack as Isaac led them through the door of the lodge and out into the forest.
He caught sight of a sleek gray she-wolf out of the corner of his eye. Her smell told him that it was Remember. She gave him a playful nip on the shoulder and bounded away. He could sense the pure joy in her from being in her wolf form. He chased after her and gave her a playful nip back.
She play bowed before him and then took off at a run. He hurried after her howling as he went. He had almost caught up to her when his alpha let out a howl to alert the pack of prey. He and Remember looked at each other for a moment and then took off towards the call of their alpha.
***
Remember was amazed at how fast Cyrus could move on just three legs. She didn't know why it hadn't occurred to her that her husband would be a three-legged wolf but once she saw him her wolf accepted the information. It also felt a hunger for him as her mate that she wanted to push away. How could her wolf want a man after what had happened to them? She hadn't expected the draw to her mate to be so strong.
She kept glancing at him as they ran towards the hunting call. He was a handsome wolf. He was pure lean muscle. His thick coat was a dark gray that was almost black. His tail wagged as he walked and she wondered if he was just as pleased as she was to be in wolf form. Perhaps he didn't even know he was wagging his tail.
She wagged hers as well though she didn't know if he noticed.
Her uncle had spotted an elk and it was already down by the time they made it to the pack.
Several wolves hauled the carcass to the lodge while her uncle sniffed the ground. A moment later he scented some other prey and this time she followed him in hot pursuit.
***
Cyrus quickly dressed and attached his prosthetic leg. The morning sun had risen and they had returned to the lodge just before dawn. Their hunt had ended with two elk, three white tailed deer, seven rabbits, and a lynx.
He followed the other members of the pack outside where several had already started butchering
the meat with the tools Isaac brought. The meat would be preserved and divided between the pack members and the witches’ coven as payment for their services.
He turned to look for Isaac so he could be instructed on his task and noticed that Remember was talking to her uncle. He felt a sudden surge of emotion looking at her. He wouldn't exactly have called the emotion joy but that was the closest he could come to naming it.
"You do things so different here," she was saying as he approached.
"Life out here is different than city life," her uncle said with a shrug.
"What do you want me to do?" Cyrus asked when Isaac looked towards him in acknowledgement.
"You and Remember can lay out the ticks and blankets," Isaac said. Cyrus nodded. He went over to the corner and began to grab the ticks. He showed Remember where the blankets were and she followed him around the room as he laid the ticks down in long rows.
Most of the members of the pack would just use the tick to sleep on but some of the older members or those who needed extra comfort would fill their ticks. Usually, he filled one for his mother but didn't bother to fill his own. He glanced at Remember. He knew she wouldn't protest sleeping on the tick but in her condition it might not be very comfortable. He'd noticed subtle changes in her belly. If he didn't see her every day he might have missed the slight rounding that was starting to occur.
No, he would see what could be found to fill their tick and keep her off of the hard wooden floor.
***
Remember crawled onto the tick and pulled the blanket over her. It was noon and the pack was preparing to sleep until the arrival of evening. Light streamed through one window at the front of the room so the inside was dim but not dark.
She felt a deep sense of safety and contentment. She was with her pack. The tick and blanket were far from the luxury of the bed she had slept in at her parent's house. They were not even as comfortable as the bed that she shared in her new home with Cyrus but after a long night as a wolf she probably could have slept on the wood floor and been content.
Cyrus had laid down before her. He was still but she could tell from his breathing he wasn't fully asleep.
The impulse to snuggle against him hit her like a runaway wagon.
She knew it was because she was with her pack and her wolf knew that was her mate even if there had been no actual mating happening.
She thought of resisting the impulse but they were there surrounded by the pack. She didn't believe Cyrus would ever harm her but even if he tried the pack would never allow it. Her own uncle and alpha was in the same room as she was. It was enough for her to allow her wolf impulse to win. She rolled onto her side and snuggled her body against Cyrus's arm.
She felt him stiffen at her side but he didn't pull away from her. Likely, his wolf craved her closeness just as much as hers did.
She could smell the wolf on him even with her human nose. It was such a comforting smell that she felt her whole body relax. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep at his side.
***
Cyrus looked over at Remember snuggled against him. He knew it was the effects of the moon on her wolf. Part of him wanted to pull away from her. She was against the side of him with the missing leg and he didn't want her to touch his stump. It would hurt only his pride if she did, but that was pain enough. He tried to understand why her opinion mattered so much to him. She knew what he was before they married. She hadn't been bothered by his missing leg last night in the woods when they were both in their wolf forms.
He realized that his concern was more of his own feelings. Even after so much time he felt like less of a man and less of a wolf because he was missing his leg. He sighed. He wouldn't let his own insecurities prevent Remember from having the comfort she was seeking. The moon had so many strange effects on them. It would wear off soon and she would want her distance again. For now though he would try to close his eyes and let his wolf enjoy the closeness of hers.
***
Remember didn't want the moon to end and this moon seemed to pass far too quickly. It was the first time since the attack that she had felt fully safe and free. She hadn't been able to feel that during the moons at home after the attack. Jordan's pack was too near.
Cyrus sent a smile her way as he emptied the tick they had been using as a bed. The urge to be close to him hadn't faded as the moon returned to normal and the power of her wolf subsided to a whisper.
"Cyrus, we need you!"
Remember turned her head to see Aaron rushing towards them. She sighed. She wouldn't have the chance to speak to Cyrus alone on the return journey either.
"What is it?" Cyrus asked. She could see his body tense. It must be serious if Aaron had come. She moved closer so she could hear what was being said.
"Diphtheria. I suspect it is anyways. You know how it can look a bit like scarlet fever. That was what I thought it was at first but-"
"Is Martha with the patient?"
"She is."
"And is she taking precautions to protect herself?"
"I made her wear a mask even though it frightens the child a bit. Everyone in the family was given a mask to wear in the sick room. Hard to say what good it will do though," Aaron said.
"Let me grab my bag and tell Isaac what's happening," Cyrus said.
Remember felt a soft touch on her wrist. She turned to see Tabitha standing beside her.
"The life of a doctor's wife isn't an easy one. They belong to their people before they belong to you," Tabitha said. Remember wondered if Tabitha had noticed her playfulness with Cyrus under the moon.
Remember didn't want to lose the feelings that she was developing. It was how a wolf should feel for her mate. Playful. Loving. Even a bit desirous.
"I imagine it would be about the same as being married to an alpha," Remember said. Her father put his duties to his pack above their family except for when Jordan proposed a marriage. It was the one time her father had put the pack's interest after his child's.
A marriage would have been the easiest thing for the pack. It would have given her father's pack power and it would have diffused the tension that had been created by Jordan's attack.
Jordan had offered to do the honorable thing but she couldn't stand living with the man who had forced her. She couldn't imagine being part of the pack that had...
She closed her eyes and forced the thoughts from her mind even as she felt her skin get tight with goose flesh.
She was safe here. She was part of her uncle's pack. She was married to Cyrus. Jordan couldn't hurt her again.
"Just one more week until the state fair," Tabitha said rubbing a hand up and down her arm soothingly.
"Yes, just a week," Remember agreed.
"You've never seen a state fair like ours," Tabitha said.
"I'm sure I haven't," Remember agreed.
"Did Aaron say the child had diphtheria?"
"Or scarlet fever."
"Well, let us hope it is only the one patient. I would hate to see the fair closed by an epidemic. I'm ready to take home some ribbons this year," Tabitha said.
Chapter 8
Remember followed Cyrus and Tabitha through the fairground gates. It was bigger and louder than anything she had expected but the air was filled with a contagious excitement.
Martha and Aaron had brought them in their wagon because the distance to the state fair was too far to walk especially laden with the items they were entering in various competitions. Remember had sewn a child sized quilt. She very much doubted it would win but even if it didn't the quilt would be perfect for her son's bed once he was old enough to be moved out of the cradle. She had put the design of a wolf howling at the moon on the quilt and she was quite proud of it.
Tabitha's offerings to the competition were mincemeat, apple butter, raspberry jam, and blackberry pie. Martha had brought jam plus three kinds of decorative bread including one shaped like a friendly looking bear and another that could have been a dog or a wolf.
Remember
was glad the weather was sunny and neither too warm nor too cold the day of the fair. She'd worn a light dress with a checkered pattern and a bonnet to shield her from the sun. It was her second best dress and she felt very pretty in it despite the fact that it was snug around her belly. She would need to make alterations to her clothes soon to give her baby room to grow.
"Let's drop these things off and then Martha and I will take a look at our competition while you two enjoy the fair," Tabitha said. Remember wasn't sure whether or not it was her imagination but it seemed her mother-in-law had kept finding opportunities to leave her and Cyrus alone ever since the full moon. Remember couldn't say she minded it. Snuggling up next to Cyrus at night during the moon had been comforting and made her feel safe and protected. She had continued the practice once they returned home though the first night she had felt her heart race in panic at being so near to him when their wolves were again dormant. She almost couldn't touch him. She didn't know why she wanted to. It wasn't the influence of her wolf. Perhaps it was nothing more than a desire to feel normal. A desire to not let the damage Jordan had done ruin her completely.
She was sure that sleeping next to Cyrus would bring back the nightmares and she tucked a basin under the bed in case she woke up and got sick.
Her worst fears weren't realized. Once she was against Cyrus, her body relaxed. He didn't smell like wolf but he did smell like grass, land, and the Iowa air that he was always out in. She fell asleep with little difficulty and slept through the night. It had been easier the second night and by the third she had managed to move close to him without her heart panicking and fear flowing through her. It helped that Cyrus lay still beside her. He didn't reach for her or try to touch her. She didn't know if she would be able to allow him to hold her in his arms though, as they were wed, she knew she should allow that. One day she should even allow him to put a pup in her though how she would manage that she didn't know.
The Alpha's Niece (Barton Pack Book 1) Page 5
