by J. M. Madden
John could appreciate how much good fortune he and his buddies had had in the past couple of years. For a long time they’d been stagnant, just making the motions of living. But that had all changed .
John took Shannon’s hand in his own. It was a little damp, like she’d just washed them. That was something they both did a lot with two little bears to take care of .
“Are they finally down ?”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into his back. “Yes, I think so. Something upset their tummies today. I don’t think I fed them anything new, so I’ll have to sit down and think about it but I’m too tired right now .”
She rested her head on top of his own. Shifting the chair a little, John twisted and pulled her down into his lap. “Maybe it was the beef jerky I fed them earlier .”
Shannon jerked her head up and she scowled at him, her hazel eyes fierce. “Beef jerky? They’re too little for that. They’re only six months, old, John .”
He chuckled, enjoying her ire. “I didn’t feed them beef jerky .”
Scowling, she began to relax .
“They spit it out and wouldn’t swallow it,” he continued .
She jerked vertical again, smacking his chest. He knew she thought she hit hard, but she actually didn’t. He chuckled in spite of himself, loving her protectiveness over their children. “I’m kidding, Shannon. You need to chill .”
She melted into his chest again and he felt bad. The woman was on the move from sun-up to sun-down, and sometimes through the night. Their identical twins, Wyatt Patrick and Caden James, were handfuls, he thought with pride. The boys were at an age that they were exploring everything in their little worlds. They doted on their mother and he’d like to think that he held a special spot in their worlds as well. It made his heart swell with love .
Turning from the window, he balanced Shannon on his lap. She knew where to tuck her feet to keep them out of the way of the wheels, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, sagging into him. Whether she meant to do it or not, she made him feel like he was the only man in the world that could take care of her .
Wheeling into the bedroom, he maneuvered into the bathroom and stopped in front of the sink. “Brush your teeth and we’ll go to bed .”
Shannon nodded as she slipped from his lap, grabbing the toothbrush and toothpaste. After applying the paste she started brushing. “What time is it?” she garbled .
He glanced at the watch strapped to his wrist. “It’s late. Eight-ten .”
She looked at him incredulously, foam filling her mouth. “What ?”
“Eight-ten .”
She shook her head and spit. “I remember a time when eight-ten was when we left the house to go get dinner,” she laughed, wiping her mouth on a towel. “We’ve gotten old in the past year .”
John laughed with her. They’d done no such thing, but they had matured. He reached for his toothbrush, layered on paste and started to scrub. Leaning up, he spit into the sink and repeated .
Shannon looked at the shower. “I know I need a shower but I’m too tired. I’ll do one in the morning .”
Chuckling softly, he herded her from the room. “That’s fine, babe. And why don’t you let me take the night shift ?”
She stared at him for a long moment. “Really? Do you think you’re ready for both of them ?”
Scowling, he shook his head. “They’re my kids. Of course I can take care of them .”
“I think Caden might…” she trailed off as he held his hands up to stop her .
“I know you take care of them a majority of the time, but give me a little credit. I can do this,” he promised .
She moaned as she sank down onto the side of the mattress. “You know, I’ll let you. I’m whipped. I got everything wrapped but I know I’ve forgotten something . ”
John dragged the quilts up over top of her and tucked her in. She gave him a hazy smile before her breathing deepened and she fell to sleep .
How the hell did she do that? It took him the better part of half an hour before his brain relaxed enough to fall asleep, and then he didn’t always stay asleep. Though the dreams that used to pester him were still present, they were fewer and farther between .
Now that he had a family to worry about, some of his night dreams had changed. Now he worried about one of the boys rolling off something and he not being able to catch them, or needing medical care more immediately than he could get his chair to move. Hell, the other night he had a dream that the boys were crying for strained carrots, and he couldn’t reach the carrots from the top shelf in the grocery store .
It was stupid what your brain spewed out .
Wheeling around the bed he locked his wheels and lifted himself to the mattress. It wasn’t a graceful movement, but he tried to do it smoothly so that he didn’t disturb Shannon. He shouldn’t have worried. She was totally ass out asleep, her mouth open slightly as she breathed .
John sank down into his own pillow, sighing as he closed his eyes. He’d been home hours, but it felt like minutes. By the time he rolled in the door, Shannon was usually ready for a break. So while she cooked them dinner, he took care of the boys, playing with them and just basically interacting. They were six months old now and growing like crazy. Shannon was not a very big woman, but when she held one of the boys in her arms she looked even smaller. They’d each gained a pound in the past month, creeping up on the fifteen-pound mark. Wyatt seemed to be built a little bigger than his brother Caden, but they were both just plain adorable. Both boys had thick dark hair, but facially they were just a bit different. Wyatt looked more like him, with big dark eyes and a stubborn chin. Caden looked more like his mother, the structure of his face built a little more delicately. The differences were so subtle that most people never saw them, but Shannon could tell the boys apart a mile away, and John had learned to as well .
The boys loved to be close to one another. Even when they were out and about, rolling on the floor or playing in the portable play pen, they preferred to play together. When they woke in the night, nine times out of ten when he rolled into their room, they were reaching through the bars of their cribs to each other, seeking comfort. He and Shannon had debated just letting them sleep together .
The more time John spent with the boys, the more he remembered little things about his own childhood, both good and bad. When he’d been little, there had been no one to give him comfort. His boys were going to have a life that he’d only dreamed about .
The scene in Duncan’s hospital room played through his mind a lot. Though he’d been in shock, he’d absorbed everything he could about his little brother— the leanness of his body, the anxiety in his eyes he tried to hide. The two of them had been through a lot in their own lives, but John had a feeling Jaime had been through more than he could imagine. In spite of that he was there protecting John and his extended family as if there were no other option. John knew Jaime could have simply washed his hands of them and his life would have been easier. That wasn’t the way he worked though .
John had been hyper vigilant since Jaime had left. If one snake had tried to draw Jaime into the light, there could be more, and John didn’t want to be the reason for his brother’s demise. If he needed time to figure out who was behind everything going on, John would give him that, and try not to become a liability .
Sometimes John thought Jaime was nearby. He never actually saw anything, but the hairs on the back of his neck would stand on end, making him turn his chair around. One day when he and Shannon and the boys had been heading into work, there had been a huge crash on the interstate at the exit he normally took to get to the Lost and Found offices. Crashes happened all the time around the greater Denver area, but something about that one set his teeth on edge. He didn’t see Jaime, of course, but he thought he felt him .
John had taken the roundabout way to the office that day and Shannon hadn’t said anything about it. She was great that way, dealing with his eccentricities .
Ag
ainst his better judgment he’d gone back to work, leaving her home with the boys most of the time. Alone usually, although one of the wives were usually over to the house. Willow and Raven were over in the afternoons if she finished with clients early. Raven loved seeing the smaller babies and they played beautifully. Ember came over with Drew a good bit as well .
John could tell that Shannon loved staying home with the boys, but she also craved adult interaction. For the first four or five months of the boy’s lives, they’d really needed her. Now, they were weaned and becoming a little more independent. And they were thinking .
“That’s when I know they’re getting into trouble,” she’d told him once. “The little buggers go quiet and I know they’ve gotten into something. They’re not very mobile, but they make the most of what they’re able to do .”
John had seen that as well. They were just starting to roll over and crawl, but their eyes followed everything he and Shannon did. They responded in ways that he didn’t think babies should, but Shannon had shrugged him off. “All parents think their kids are the smartest and brightest,” she’d laughed .
John didn’t think that was all it was, but he let it ride .
Carmella was their partner in crime. The dog followed the boys everywhere, and got concerned if they split up. When Duncan had given them red and blue matching walkers, it had only taken a couple of days of practice for the boys to figure out how to move around. John had thought they’d be too young for the toys, because they could just barely reached the hardwood floor with their big toes. But it was enough for them to move themselves along. Carmella had learned to dance out of the way when they moved faster, but she still followed along behind, hoping for a dropped treat .
John rolled over to look at Shannon. She’d taken up motherhood as if she’d been born for it. Everything seemed to come to her instinctively. It was a little maddening, because he second-guessed and third-guessed everything he did with the boys. If something happened to them on his watch, he’d never be able to forgive himself. And he wouldn’t be able to look Shannon in the eye .
When he’d confessed his worry, she’d shaken her head and smiled. “Grab whichever one is in the most imminent danger first and you’ll be good .”
Okay, he could do that .
When it came to everything else in his life, he dominated, but raising two babies was hard as fuck .
Sighing, he let himself sink into the pillow and close his eyes .
Chapter Two
A cry lanced through him. John jerked awake and sat up. Shannon hadn’t moved. She was ass out asleep. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he waited. Did he actually hear the cry or just imagine it ?
When it came again, a bit softer, he moved for his chair and slid into it. The baby monitor was beside him on the nightstand, but this cry sounded different. He would do a quick check and see what was going on. Before he left the room he muted the monitor so it wouldn’t wake Shannon .
When he rolled into the room, Wyatt had his chubby fist through the bars of the crib, reaching for Caden. Caden was sitting up and rubbing his eyes, letting out little intermittent cries. When he saw John in the doorway, he let out an even more piteous cry and held his arms out to his father. John didn’t have the heart to turn away. Carmella wagged her tail when he entered the room, as if she just knew he would be able to help her boy out .
John squeezed the modified latches on either side of the crib and the front panel dropped down. Caden held his arms out and John pulled him onto his lap. “What’s going on, little man ?”
Before the question was completely out, he could feel the heat radiating from the little boy. “Oh, Caden. You poor little dude. Those teeth are bugging you again, huh ?”
As if to answer his question, Caden shoved his fist against his mouth and dropped his head against John’s chest .
For the past couple of weeks, Caden had been feeling pain from his erupting teeth. There were two bright white little buds coming in through the lower jaw. They were so cute, but they were also causing the little boy a lot of aggravation. John gave him his knuckle and the little man bit into it, chewing desperately. He let him do that for a few minutes just to calm down before moving toward the dresser. The ibuprofen was there waiting. One-handed, John measured out the dose and held it out to Caden. The baby took the medicine like a champ and dropped his head back to John’s chest. Readjusting his left arm to hold the baby tight, John used his right to rock the wheelchair wheel back and forth in a rhythmic motion. With a tired snuffle, Caden sagged into him .
John wasn’t fooled though. He continued to rock for several minutes to ensure that his son was completely out. Wyatt had drifted off to sleep once Caden quieted. John was close enough to the crib to lift Caden into it and he held his breath as the little boy shifted in his sleep. But he stayed asleep .
Rolling out of the room as quietly as he could, John paused at the door to look back. Maybe he’d wait just a few minutes to make sure he stayed asleep. If he heard Caden again he could get him that teether thing out of the freezer. Maybe that would help .
John grabbed his tablet from the kitchen counter charger and moved to the table. He could play here for a few minutes watching the monitor before he headed back to bed. He glanced at the clock. Yeah, it was only a little after midnight. Plenty more time to sleep .
The ibuprofen did its job and Caden slept on, so John went back to bed .
At six-thirty the next morning, though, both boys were clamoring for their breakfast. Shannon moved to get up but John stilled her with a hand on her shoulder. “I told you I would get them .”
Shannon arched in a bone-cracking stretch. “I love you.” And she rolled over and went back to sleep .
John headed to the nursery, trying to wake up. Getting both boys to the kitchen was a bit of a job. It was easier now that they were able to use the walkers. First he put on the black nylon baby carrier to the front of his chest. The kids were growing so fast he didn’t know how long he’d be able to use it, but it was a Godsend right now .
Wyatt seemed the most disgruntled, so John grabbed him first, rolling to the secondary, lowered changing table. “Let’s get you changed big man .”
John had come a long way in the personal business department, if he did say so himself. Shannon had had a good bit of morning sickness when she’d been pregnant, and there’d been more than one instance of carrying her back to bed in his lap. And the kids… well, there was no getting away without dealing with nastiness. Puke, pee, crap— he’d dealt with it all. He wasn’t a pro by any means, but definitely better than he had been a year and a half ago .
When he opened Wyatt’s morning diaper, though, he had to remind himself he was a bad-ass Marine, capable of dealing with dangerous terrorists, armed militants and all other shapes of bad guys and bad situations. He turned his head to the side, gasped in a breath and manned up. Wyatt chewed on his fist as John worked and all was good until Wyatt reached out and grabbed the shit-filled diaper, resting on the side of the changing table. John had rolled it and fastened it closed, and he’d thought far enough away, but those tiny little clutching fingers managed to find an opening to the nastiness. Giggling, Wyatt heaved the diaper above his head, not aware of how much danger he was in .
John slicked the last tab closed on the fresh diaper and grabbed Wyatt’s little wrist, removing the diaper and setting it out of reach like he should have done the first time. Then he grabbed a wad of baby wipes and cleaned off Wyatt’s filthy fingers, but it didn’t seem like enough. The baby smiled at him and tried to pull the hand back to his mouth, even as John growled and tried not to gag. He held onto the hand as he lifted the boy from the changing table and fit him into the carrier strapped to his chest, but he retained the hold on the contaminated limb, tucking the fingers into his armpit as he spun the chair and rolled toward the bathroom. This hand needed washed. With soap. Then he might need a shower to scrub his armpit .
Wyatt chortled as John turned the faucet on to wa
sh the nasty hand. He pumped Meyer basil-scented soap onto all of their hands and scrubbed as the baby balanced on the edge of the sink. Wyatt once again laughed as he rolled around and John was thankful as fuck that he was such a good baby .
Once he was as clean as John could reasonably get him, and smelling as good as possible, he pulled the baby back into the nylon harness and rolled back into the room. Then he grabbed a red Christmas-y zip-up pajama thing from the stack on the right hand side of the closet, Wyatt’s side. Caden was beginning to fuss, so John knew he was almost out of time .
Everything moved the way it was supposed to as John dressed Wyatt and placed him into his bright red walker. John expected him to take off, but instead he headed back to his crib and grabbed the bars. Yelling, he rattled the panel. John frowned and looked at the crib. There, laying where the baby had been, was a brown-furred bear in a red jumpsuit .
John picked up the bear and looked at it for a moment, trying to remember where it had come from. He didn’t recognize it. Glancing at Caden’s crib, he saw there was a gray-furred bear in a blue jumpsuit. Again, not something he remembered the kids having. John had been in here less than five hours ago and he would swear that that bear had not been in Caden’s crib then .
Wyatt took his bear and squealed. Immediately, the little man was tiptoeing out of the room, banging the tray of his chair and the toys mounted there. The damn thing made noise too, so he could usually tell where the kids were in the house by the noise the walker made .
John knew Wyatt wouldn’t go far from his brother, so he grabbed Caden from the crib. Caden was much more accommodating and didn’t grab a handful of diaper goo like his brother had, so the whole process went a lot faster. After he placed Caden in his blue walker and handed him his bear, John led the way from the room and headed toward the kitchen. It would take them a couple of minutes, but the babies would follow Carmella to the kitchen where he would be getting their breakfast ready. Shannon normally did this, but she’d been so worn out recently. This was the least he could do .
