The host’s words banged like a drum in his head. He tuned out the rest of his dribble about Golden’s preference for blondes and punched the off button on the remote.
He’d seen enough.
Kat had been engaged to Michael Golden? For a whole damn year?
True, Justin had been overseas for the past nine years, but hell, he knew the Golden name. His own brother had been married in one of the hotels, for heaven’s sake. The Golden Hotels were everywhere in the United States. Even an out-of-touch soldier knew the power and influence that name wielded.
He ground his teeth together, hating that his heart ached so badly. Hating that his soul was seared with the truth Kat didn’t tell him. The truth he’d had to hear on a gossip television show.
His initial instincts about Kat were correct. She was a social climber, a woman out to snare a rich man. When she’d thought he was Brett, she’d made it clear she wanted nothing more to do with him. One fling, one weekend, and that was that.
Her lies and bone-sharp betrayal made bitter acid churn in his stomach.
He bounded off the sofa and paced the floor. Everything made sense now. She’d dumped the man she’d thought was a hog farmer, refusing him knowledge of his baby, and didn’t waste time getting engaged to the hotel giant. Was that it? Was it all about money? If it wasn’t, then why hadn’t she told him about Golden? Hell, he’d poured his heart out to her, telling her things he’d never told another human being. He’d given her a piece of himself with his confessions about Brett.
He heard the rattle of the screen door and a key turning in the lock. The scent of gardenias preceded Kat into the room. He breathed her in, for a second remembering only the past few days of their lives together. He’d been a fool to believe in her in the first place. His instincts had been dead on. If only he’d listened.
“Justin.” Her soft voice floated over him as she smiled and walked inside the house.
He braced his nerves. This wasn’t going to be pretty. He stood facing her by the front door.
“How did it go? Did you get the baby to sleep?”
“He’s napping,” he said curtly. He was glad he didn’t have time to stew about this. He wanted this out in the open, pronto.
“Everything okay?” she asked, her smile slowly fading.
“He’s fine. Go check on him. We need to talk when you get back.”
“Oh, okay.” She swallowed and narrowed her eyes, watching him curiously as she brushed past him. Justin stayed rooted to the spot, hands on hips, breathing hard.
By the time she walked back into the room he’d calmed his nerves a little bit.
“He’s so beautiful when he sleeps. I could stand there and watch him forever.” There was a sweetly whimsical quality to her voice when she spoke of Connor that seeped into Justin’s soul.
He glanced away.
“What is it, Justin?” She walked over to face him by the sofa, her eyes troubled. “What’s wrong?”
“Were you engaged to Michael Golden in New York?”
She jerked back as if he’d hit her. A gasp sprung from her mouth. “How did you...?”
“Does it matter how I found out? You didn’t tell me. Is it true? You lived with him for a year?”
She shook her head. “Not a year.”
Justin rolled his eyes. “So LLL got it wrong. How long were you with him?”
“LLL? The television show? Are you telling me that you saw it on television?”
Justin pursed his lips before saying, “The host was happy to share a rare photo of the three of you together.”
“They showed a picture of Connor? How? Why? I don’t understand.”
“He’s a famous man. He’s in the gossip news, that’s how. Apparently, he has a thing for beautiful platinum blondes. No one in the public eye can avoid scrutiny, Kat. If you lived with him, you should’ve known that.”
“But he promised me Connor would never be exploited. He promised me he’d protect us from the media.”
“Well, something’s changed, hasn’t it?”
Kat opened her mouth to say something. But no denial came forth and slowly her lips came together again as a glimmer of knowledge flickered in her eyes.
She was holding something back. Her expression closed up tight. “Aside from the obvious, what aren’t you telling me?”
Kat lowered herself down onto the sofa. It was as if she couldn’t hold herself upright any longer than her need to sit. “I saw him the day after Logan’s wedding.”
“You saw him? As in, spoke to him in person?” Now Justin needed to sit. Did he know this woman at all? Who was the real Katherine Grady? He wished to hell he had the answer.
He lowered himself onto Mattie’s chair and uttered a curse.
Kat’s gaze found the floor. “I’m sorry, Justin. It wasn’t planned. I bumped into him outside while I was...I was waiting for you. I guess I didn’t realize how much I’d hurt him. He’d gotten attached to Connor.”
Her eyes lifted to him. At the mention of his son’s name, Justin’s mind clicked back in gear. “Why’d you do it, Kat? Was it just about the money?”
She shook her head vehemently, causing all that gorgeous blond hair to fly around. “No.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
The light in her green eyes dimmed. “It’s not that simple.”
“Lies never are.”
Her pretty face crumbled. “I know.”
She should just spit it all out and lay the truth at his feet. It might even be liberating for her.
“Explain it to me.”
“I, uh, well, I’ve already told you about my childhood. About the abuse and the way my mother and I lived in fear for years. Keeping one step away from my father messed up our lives. We never had anything of value. My mother’s car was twenty years old. We were lucky it ran and if it didn’t, we were at the mercy of some kind soul who would fix it for us. Those things most people take for granted. We never had that luxury. We were fortunate to have a roof over our heads. Thanks to the women’s shelters and the generosity of friends, we had clothes on our back. Mom and I loved each other. We were very close. We never let my father’s abuse come between us.
“As I got older, I saw the toll it had taken on her. She was worn out and sickly before she reached forty. It was hard to watch, you know? As a kid, I thought she was invincible. She was my strong, solid, rock.
“When I was a teen, I started playing around with fabric, using material from donated clothing that didn’t fit. I used kitchen shears to redesign our clothes. I had a real talent for sewing and I loved every aspect of design. I was determined to make something of myself. Mom and I moved to New York and I promised her we’d live better. It was time for me to take care of her. I got a job at an upscale store and later started working behind the scenes with designers. I had talent, but no connections and no money. It’s a competitive field, hard to break in. I was struggling.”
“That’s where Golden came in. He had money and connections.”
“Fast forward a few years. I met Michael for the very first time a few weeks after you and I were together. If you recall, I had a blind date that never showed.”
“And I was the fill-in.”
She sighed. “I didn’t look at it that way. Michael had been called out of town on business. I was lonely and grieving my mother’s death. That’s when I met you.” Despite the situation, she gave him a warm smile. “You...you were amazing.”
He frowned. “So amazing you slept with Golden a few weeks later?”
Her chin lowered and she shook her head. “It wasn’t like that. We started dating and he was charming. I was flattered. When I found out I was pregnant, I did really try to find Brett. I wrote him and I never heard back. I was with Michael at that time, and we were becoming serio
us about each other. But I decided to tell Michael about the baby right away. Michael can’t have children, so he knew he wasn’t the father. I offered to end our relationship. I told him I’d understand if he didn’t want to see me anymore. Instead, he was overjoyed at the news of my pregnancy. He wanted us to be a family. As the weeks went on and I didn’t hear back from Brett, no news at all, I continued to see Michael.
“I was frightened, Justin. I didn’t have a dime to my name. I didn’t have a way to support my son. I didn’t want Connor to have the same life I’d had growing up. I know you won’t believe this, but my thoughts back then were only for my baby. I saw a way for Connor to have a good life. I was enamored with Michael.”
“With Michael or his money?”
Her cheeks flamed red against her creamy complexion. “You think you’ve got it all figured out. But you have no right to judge me. You grew up wealthy, having everything at your disposal. You had money, friends, influence. I had none of those things...and it didn’t look as if I was going anywhere in my career. My dreams had to be put aside...for the baby’s sake. What I did wasn’t right, I know that. But in my heart and at that time, it was my only option.”
“The truth is always an option.”
Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’m telling you the truth now.”
“Would’ve been nice if I didn’t have to hear it on TV first. Would’ve been nice if you’d come clean when we’d first met in Silver Springs. You passed my son off to another man. He had the time with Connor I missed out on.”
Her eyes squeezed shut. “I’m sorry about that. So sorry, and if I could go back and change things, I would. If I’d known who you were...but you lied to me, Justin. You can’t forget your part in this.”
“I know,” he said, quietly agreeing. “I can’t deny that. But you’ve had all this time to tell me about your past. Here I thought you were all alone, struggling to survive with a baby in New York. Wasn’t that the impression you wanted me to have?”
“No, it’s not.” She opened her eyes; they were beautifully green and brilliantly clear as she focused directly on him. There was clarity in her voice, as well. “You’re a good man, Justin. A good father to Connor. I know I messed up. I know that you probably h-hate me.”
Justin rose from his seat. Hell, he didn’t hate her. He hated her lies. He was halfway in love with her before all of this happened. His fingers dug into his scalp. “I don’t know how I feel about you right now, but that’s not important. What’s important is to get all the facts out. If you had everything you wanted with Golden, then why’d you leave your perfect little setup? Why did you come here? And don’t tell me you had a stroke of conscience.”
Her hand lifted to wipe away her tears and she drew in a deep breath. “Michael started getting very controlling.”
“What?”
She nodded. “When things didn’t go his way, he got nasty. He’s a man who expects his demands to be met. He’d been ‘yessed’ all of his life. While we were dating, he was the most attentive man I’d ever met. I thought I was falling for him. He thought he loved me. After Connor was born, things changed. He was smitten with Connor. He wanted a child very badly, but things started going downhill between us. He started ordering me around. He wanted things for Connor I didn’t approve of. He tried to completely take over my life. I started feeling...suffocated. Like I was being choked with his orders. I won’t go into details, but at one point it got so bad, I trembled with fear whenever he walked into the room. I never knew what he’d find to pick on, what he’d find wrong.
“It was as if I was reliving my past with my father. Michael got verbally abusive with me. That’s how it starts. I’m not saying that Michael would’ve physically abused me, but his harsh words were enough. I knew it was a matter of time, before Connor...Connor... Oh, my sweet baby... I couldn’t subject him to a life like that.”
The veins in Justin’s neck popped. His nerves jumped, picturing that big man verbally slashing Kat, trying to undermine her self-esteem and confidence. And Connor? Anyone who called himself a man wouldn’t bully a woman and child.
“We fought like crazy and I hated subjecting the baby to all that arguing. Finally, Michael agreed to let me go. I was afraid he would follow me because of Connor. I never told him where I was going and I’m grateful he never tried to find me.”
The blood pumping in his veins simmered. “I’m trying to wrap my head around all of this.”
“Justin?”
“Is this all the truth, Kat?”
“Yes, I had to leave him. I couldn’t go back to that kind of life.”
“Leaving that jerk was the right move.”
“It was the only move I could make.”
He looked deep into her eyes. “Answer me this one question, Kat. Were you deceiving Matilda Applegate with your intentions? Were you using her to put a roof over your head hoping to ingratiate yourself into her life?”
Her face crumpled, and her voice fell to barely a whisper. “You know the answer to that, Justin. I love Aunt Mattie. Connor loves her. And when we came here, we believed her to be Connor’s great-aunt. Remember, it wasn’t until you showed up and revealed your lies that I found out Brett Applegate wasn’t Connor’s father. So no, I wasn’t using Aunt Mattie in any way.”
All of this was hard to digest. There were so many lies, so many omissions. “Then if that’s the case, why didn’t you tell me about your engagement to Golden?”
“Because I knew you’d think what you’re thinking now. That you’d look at me the way you’re looking at me now.”
Justin clamped his jaw tight. Her suspicions were justified...he didn’t trust her.
“If I’d told you right away...wouldn’t you have thought that I was only after Michael’s money? That I was desperate and wanted a secure life for my son at any cost?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Your explanation makes sense to me. But you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth. I had a right to know another man was raising my son.”
“I thought I was doing the right thing, Justin. What’s happening between us is new and special and—”
“You didn’t want to muck it up with the truth.”
“I planned on telling you...one day.”
He stared at her and sighed. Shaking his head, he spoke quietly. “Kiss Connor for me when he wakes up. I’d better go.”
Kat rose and braced her hands on the back of the sofa. Unmasked fear entered her eyes. “I hope you understand, Justin. I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. Especially you.”
“I guess you paid me back for the lie I told you in New York.”
Kat’s eyes closed. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Look, I get it. I really do.” He was dizzy from the different directions his mind was going. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”
Harsh words.
Twin tears rolled down her cheeks. “I hope it’s soon.”
His shoulder lifted in a shrug. He’d never abandon his son. Connor would always be in his life.
Kat, on the other hand, was a different matter.
Ten
Connor’s chunky feet hit the floor and he pushed off, springing up and down in the seat of his baby bouncer. His smiles seared her heart and the sweet sound of his cackling echoed against the parlor walls. “He’s loving this,” Kat said.
The new bouncer, decorated with giraffes, lions and monkeys, was a hit. “I think our son likes his new toy.”
“He’s a natural. Maybe there’s some bronc busting in his future.” Justin stood a distance away watching him. “I’m glad he likes it.”
“It’s generous of you.”
Justin’s eyes remained glued to his boy. He didn’t look at her much these days. His shut-out was a cool blast of reality. How long could he continue to freeze her out? “It
’s only the beginning. I’m making up for lost time.”
His comment grated on her jumpy nerves. At least he was still speaking to her. That was something, wasn’t it? “Thanks again for coming by and watching Connor every day, while I visit Aunt Mattie.”
Five days and counting.
“He’s my son. I’m not going to abandon him, because things didn’t work out between us.”
Wow. Point taken and heart crushed in one single blow. Justin must’ve been a good soldier—he had killer instincts.
Connor went even higher in his bouncer and his giggles rang out.
A smile broke the barrier of Justin’s tight lips. At least Connor could do what Kat hadn’t been able to accomplish...make Justin happy.
“How do you like the new kitchen floor?” she asked hopefully. She’d had a crew in here yesterday and they’d worked into the night to get the floor finished. Tomorrow, the cabinets would be replaced and the new granite counters came after that.
He slid a glance from the baby to the kitchen tiles poking out from the doorway. “Whatever Mattie wants is fine with me. The floor looks good.”
That wasn’t exactly a glowing endorsement. But what did she expect? Justin wasn’t giving her an inch.
“I hope she’s happy with everything. I’ve been gradually getting her to make decisions about the remodel. The good news is if all goes as expected, she should be home from rehab in two weeks.”
His eyes lifted to hers. She soaked in the impact of his gaze. “Two weeks? So she’s better?”
“Apparently...if they’re sending her home.”
“That’s good.”
“She asked about you.”
His gaze shifted to Connor. “Give her my best.”
“You should go see her. Talk to her. She’d like that.” Kat knew the reason Justin didn’t visit her. Guilt about Brett’s death still managed to dictate the terms of his life. But she loved him enough to want to see him unburden himself from the pain eating him alive.
The Secret Heir of Sunset Ranch Page 15
