SEAL Firsts

by Sharon Hamilton

  His text thrilled her. She ached for him, missed him now more than before. With giddy relief that he was finally going to be home tonight, she texted back:

  Ready? All I can think about, sweetheart. Safe travels. I might never let you out of the bedroom. Ever. Love you too.

  She got the little ping that told her she had a return message:

  Hmmmm. That sounds yummy. I don’t belong anywhere else. See you in a few. Kiss Courtney for me. All my love.

  The Moore’s settled in the third bedroom, while the two new SEAL Team 3 members were given pillows and blankets to sleep on the couch. Shannon had wanted to go to the airport to meet T.J., but knew it was not wise. Ollie, one of the young SEALs, would go while the other one would stay behind and keep watch.

  She dashed into the shower, wrapping her stitched hand in a plastic bag, the plastic covering her abdominal stitches. Anticipation was boiling in her stomach as she carefully changed the sheets, placed fresh candles all around the bedroom. She tried to eat the food her parents had prepared, tried to make small talk with the young SEALs while they all waited, but in the end, she was so distracted by anticipation of T.J.’s homecoming, she couldn’t focus on anything but what it would feel like to be wrapped in his strong arms. He was coming back home to her, and that made her feel giddy as a school girl. Seven hours was waaaaay too long to have to wait.

  Courtney was demanding a feeding, and this eased her nerves. She lit a candle in the bedroom and leaned into the soft pillows of their bed, nursing her, telling her about her daddy.

  “He’s tall and handsome, and he loves you so much. He’ll shower you with kisses and you’ll love falling asleep in his arms.”

  She placed her little finger close to Courtney’s waving hand and fingers. The baby grabbed it like the lifeline it was, and they rocked together on the bed by candlelight.

  “Little strong Courtney,” she said, and kissed her.

  A few minutes later, she put the baby to sleep in the portable sleeper by her bed, covered herself up in the quilt the SEAL Ladies had made for her, and let herself fall asleep.

  When Shannon’s cell phone pinged with another text, she awoke to a darkened bedroom. The screen on her cell glowed on the night stand.

  Just landed. Found Ollie. We’re headed home, sweetheart.

  She returned his text with hearts and flower images.

  The baby began to fuss, so she changed her, nursed her again and then put her back down. Just as she stepped into the hallway she heard Ollie’s truck, and knew he was home. Her heart was racing as she saw the front door open, and there he was. Her parents flocked to him immediately while his brothers stood nearby. Ollie leaned forward and peered down the hallway at Shannon and gave her a wink.

  He hadn’t taken his eyes off her since walking through the doorway. Dropping his bag, he ran to Shannon, pulled her inside the bedroom and slammed the door behind them. She could hear a generous serving of chuckling coming from the other side.

  Alone in the darkened room with the candles lit, T.J.’s honest face danced in the glow of candlelight. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hoisted her up off the ground as she felt the urgency of his deep kiss. She could feel his chest expand as he inhaled her, gave her that gravely groan from deep inside.

  “God how I missed you,” he whispered through his kisses. “Shannon, I’m so sorry for all that’s happened, and for not being here.”

  She placed her fingers over his mouth. “Shhh. No talking now.”

  “But seriously,” he insisted. “Is everything okay? Are you both okay?”

  She showed him her bandaged palm. “Just five stitches and maybe some surgery later on, but I was lucky.”

  He unwrapped the gauze outer wrapping and then peeled back the adhesive tape to examine the work. She watched as he calculated its adequacy and saw the slight nod, giving approval. He pressed the wrapping back down, securing the bandage and then carefully wrapped it back in the gauze, kissing her palm gently, kissing every layer of the wrapping. “Does it hurt?”

  “Just a little.”

  “And here?” he placed his palm on her belly.

  “Better now that you’re here.”

  He smiled. “You need anything for the pain?”

  “No, sweetheart. All I need is right here.”

  The baby stirred, so T.J. let Shannon slide down his frontside, drawing her over to the crib. “She’s beautiful. God, I’m a lucky man.”

  “We’re the lucky ones,” she said. The tenderness she saw in his face for Courtney filled her heart to capacity. “We were so lucky they’d taken her away before the—”

  “No,” he said, stopping her with his kisses. “You were right. No more talking. Besides, we’ll wake her.” He took her hand, examined the room full of candles and brought her over to the bed. “Our time now.”

  “Yes,” she said as she felt his hands slide up her front, squeezing her breasts. She helped him remove her clothes, and then took her time removing his shirt, kissing his warm flat stomach muscles, up the center of his chest to under his chin. She undid his belt and button fly carefully, one by one, slid her hands into his pants and then around to his butt cheeks and pulled the denim fabric down until his jeans fell. When he stepped out of them, they were completely naked together, his erection pressing into her belly.

  Her hands massaged the full length of him, massaged his balls as they kissed. Their heat ignited, and he pulled her down into the bed. He kissed a trail under her ear, and whispered, “God, Shannon, I don’t know what I would have done if anything—”

  “I know, love.”

  “You were so brave. So very lucky,” he said to her mouth. He kissed her neck, down to her breasts and then back up again. She held his head between her hands, and he leaned into her bandaged palm, kissing her again on the wound. “So strong. Do you know how incredible you are, Shannon?”

  She rolled back into the pillow, placing her arms back above her head. “Show me.”

  His answer was swift, and with another guttural moan he was rooting for her opening. “Sorry, but I have to—”

  “It’s what I want too. I need you inside me, T.J.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you, honey. You sure this is okay?”

  “I need you.”

  He thrust deep, being careful not to press against her lower abdomen, but matching her urgency. The delicious feel of him made her arch back, raise her knees and press her pelvis into his. His long strokes were tentative and careful. Then he began a deliberate rhythm that was long and smooth, enough to absorb every motion, but fast enough to heighten her arousal with each thrust. He kissed her eyes, whispered I love you’s to her mouth over and over again.

  He arched up, slid his knees under her thighs, bracing her back with his powerful arms and moved her down on his shaft, carefully grinding her down and then releasing her to writhe against him. He was so deep she was melting as her internal muscles milked him, as she felt him tense and then thrust several more times deep into her tender soft tissues that burned for him. On one final thrust he allowed himself to release into her, holding her pressed against him as she felt him lurch and begin to spill.

  “Oh, God, T.J. I need this.”

  “Yes, baby.” The sound of his voice triggered a slow rolling orgasm as her body exploded. She pressed her chest against his, grabbed the hair at his nape and let her pelvis ride down onto him, her legs balancing them as he pushed up and deeper inside her.

  He held her firm, slowly pressing harder, then releasing, working her insides with deep, short movements as her spasms subsided and her bones turned to rubber. A forlorn moan sounded somewhere, and then she realized it came from her, so completely spent, and yet craving more.

  At last they collapsed back into the bed, a tangle of arms and legs, kisses and caresses.

  This is the life I’ve always wanted. This is the way it’s supposed to be.

  Turning to the man in her arms, her rock, his eyes searching her face, she realized that wh
atever came with the intensity of loving this man, whatever it was, she was in for it one hundred percent, and always would be. This was the life she was destined for.

  The next morning Kyle came over, and the family held a strategy meeting.

  “We have only a few choices,” Kyle said. “The Navy is working hard with local media outlets, who have promised no more inappropriate posting of pictures of family or Team members. This has been a tradition going back many, many years, but oddly enough, we have to keep repeating it.”

  “Can’t believe they didn’t know that, Kyle,” added T.J.

  “Well, we have to be ever vigilant. You know that.”

  Everyone nodded. Shannon sat on the couch between T.J. and her mom, and she was holding hands with both of them.

  “It’s a double-edged sword. We can have you guys move, which in essence disrupts your life, changes your plans, maybe permanently, or we stay and fight.” He lowered his eyes. “And we’re not supposed to be fighting here on our soil. But everyone understands we need to be prepared and, if attacked, we defend.”

  Shannon felt T.J. tense up. “What does your Navy liaison suggest? Should we move?”

  “We don’t know what they know about you, Shannon. We know they are probably studying T.J., because the news put up his picture. It may be that T.J. being here poses more of a danger to all of you, which totally sucks, because he’s the one that could defend you better than anyone else.”

  “But if we move together—” Shannon began.

  Kyle shook his head. “Still no guarantees, Shannon. Should we house our families in a compound somewhere to keep them safe? Are we going to do that just to make sure they are? That’s not what we’re about. That’s not how we live. We live free.”

  “Just that we have to root out the bad guys,” Ollie added.

  “How do we do that?” Shannon asked.

  “Two schools of thought there. What we’re not going to do is go on a search and destroy mission. We don’t do that here. Ever. We hide in plain sight, or you move to a location that they don’t know about. We don’t know how long that would work. Will you have to be looking over your shoulder for months, years to come? No guarantees even if you do move, you will be safe.”

  Shannon could see the dilemma. She knew her answer, if T.J. would allow it.

  “I can’t take that chance,” T.J. said. Shannon closed her eyes. She’d known he’d say that. “I’m the one who is exposing this family to more danger. You’re right, Kyle.”

  Shannon knew she had to be careful with this next part. “But they came after me in the hospital. They found me somehow.” The room remained quiet.

  “It has to be your decision. I don’t know how they got your information, Shannon. Maybe it was one of the hospital staff, someone who knew you were in labor, and knew what T.J. did for a living. Just hard to say. We don’t talk about what we do. We were never supposed to. But especially now, we don’t talk about it.”

  Everyone agreed with this.

  T.J. squeezed her hand. “Honey, I am causing further danger by staying here. I say we move, or—”

  Shannon stood up and addressed the seated circle. “I won’t be safe, T.J. if you leave. We stay together. If we move, we move together. Or we stay here, and we keep our eyes and ears open. But I’m not running away.”

  Kyle smiled. “That’s exactly what Christy would say. You gals are tough, I’ll grant you that.”

  “Look at what she did yesterday. They’ll be asking her further questions. Won’t that trigger curiosity with the neighbors here?” Mrs. Moore asked.

  “We can arrange for all interviews to be done at the jurisdictions. None here. I think that could be carried out,” Kyle added.

  “What about Frankie’s parents? What if they stayed there?” Shannon’s dad asked.

  “That would be putting them in danger. I couldn’t ask them to do that,” Shannon answered.

  “Come here, Shannon,” T.J. said and stretched out his arms.

  The group chuckled in response as Shannon sat on his lap, legs across his thighs. The protective shield of his arms warmed her and calmed her nerves.

  “I say we ask them, honey.”

  Shannon couldn’t believe he was actually proposing this.

  “I think they’d want to help, in fact, I know they’d love to help. And they’d love spending time with Courtney.”

  Kyle nodded. Shannon could see he thought it was a good idea too. “I don’t think they’d be on anyone’s radar,” he said.

  “If they know I live here, or know anything about you, Shannon, they’ll come here. But they may not know about Frankie’s parents,” T.J. followed up his statement with a kiss. He ducked his head to make direct eye contact, “Or, do you not want me to be there with you? You could stay there alone, if you want.”

  “Don’t be silly.” Shannon was beginning to warm to the idea.

  “Shannon and the baby could come stay with us in Palo Alto,” Mrs. Moore cut in cheerfully. She got an immediate reaction.

  Kyle, T.J. and Shannon all answered with a resounding, “No.”

  Chapter 33

  T.J. knew the Bensons would be happy with the arrangement, and he really didn’t mind the fact that he’d be spending time with Joe Benson, one of the best dads ever. First day they stayed with the couple, Joe reached out to T.J.

  “I was real sorry to hear about your father,” he said, his warm eyes not following the smile on his lips. T.J. could see the death of his son still pained him, and probably always would.

  “Thanks. That helps, Joe. We both lost someone. I lost a brother, and you a son. Although I also lost my dad, I didn’t have what you guys had.”

  “Everyone does the best they can, son.”

  “I’ve heard that a lot lately. Too much, I’ll admit.” T.J. had thought he’d purged it all out of him, but some of the familiar loathing for his horrible childhood came roaring back.

  “Well,” Benson said as he removed his hand from the top of T.J.’s shoulder, “We just take it a day at a time. We celebrate when we can, and we cry when we must.”

  Nothing was ever discussed further. Shannon and T.J. moved several items in two trips from the old house, enlisting the help of a couple of the Team guys. The rush of every day life, with a newborn and with grandparents to dote on the child, started to make everything seem normal.

  But that was a problem for T.J. He did not feel normal, and it was getting worse. He was filled with pain, and needed more and more time alone. He retreated to the back bedroom often and lay down while Courtney slept beside the bed. The sounds of the baby’s breathing were healing, reminding him of new life and future miracles. But it was short-lived. He couldn’t put his finger on it. This was not something he was used to, a family routine. Loving relatives who were gentle and civil to one another. The more he was around it, the more he began to feel out of place.

  Today was an especially bad day. He’d tried to work it out down at Gunny’s, overstaying the meter and getting a huge parking ticket. Fredo and Mia were back from their honeymoon in St. Thomas, and all of a sudden everyone on the Teams wanted to know when he and Shannon were getting married. The police interview today was especially hard, because they brought up his juvenile record.

  Like I’m one of them? Do they really think that?

  The FBI agent in charge of the questioning separated him and Tyler and kept harping on the fact that their stories didn’t entirely match and kept grilling them for several hours. Even Tyler was upset by it, but took it a lot better than T.J. did.

  “You getting along with your wife?” the heavyset agent asked him. The guy had a grease spot on his tie T.J wanted to cut off with scissors.

  “Of course. Never better.” He knew the man knew they weren’t married and had said it on purpose to pick a fight.

  “You’re living with her in her dead husband’s parents home. Why are you not living in your own place? You’re not married, right, and have no plans to?”

  “We
have plans to.”

  “Yet nobody here seems to be able to give me a date. Have you set a date, Mr. Talbot?”

  “What do these questions about my personal life have to do with this investigation?”

  “You have a problem talking about your personal life?”

  “Fuck no. Except it’s personal.”

  “You’ve always been known as kind of a loose cannon, Mr. Talbot.”

  This one really got to him. He fisted his hand under the table and purposely didn’t grind his teeth. “Who told you I was a loose cannon?”

  “Your LPO, Lansdown. Said you had been kind of a party animal, and now you were more domesticated. Surprised him, he said.”

  “Then I’m sure he meant it as a compliment.” T.J. didn’t think Kyle would have said this, or at least didn’t mean the implication.

  “You like being domesticated? That idea appeal to you, or are you itching to get out there and do something wild and crazy?”

  “We all do that. It’s what we do. But no, I don’t have any plans to go chase girls or go off on a stupid drunken bender. I don’t do that anymore. Kyle’s right.”

  The agent leaned back in his chair and took his time answering. “I’m wondering if all this bliss, without the ring and the date, has got you feeling like your balls are in a vice. Know what I mean?”

  T.J. hated the man now. He looked back at him like he wished he could’ve looked at his father years ago growing up, not the kind of look he had to give him as he was dying in the hospital bed. He didn’t care what the man thought of him now. He knew it was a danger sign, and he was powerless to stop it. He decided no response was the safest course of action. He was used to some professional jealousy, but this was over the top.

  But the agent couldn’t stop either. Something was growing between them, and it stunk up the little interview room.

  “You ever get angry with your girlfriend? Strike her?”

  That was enough. T.J. reached across the table and grabbed Agent Asshole by the greasy tie and yanked his face close. “You fuckin’ prick. Get off my back. I don’t ever raise my voice or my hand to Shannon. I’m not the one you’re looking for. I was clear across the country paying my respects to my dying father, you asshole.”