by Avril Ashton
Anton lifted his head, but Sylvie was the one to speak. Her eyes glittered with lust and a tender kind of understanding. “You’re not into it.” She shifted to the side and nodded her head to the opposite side of the room, near the entrance. “Friend of yours?”
Van followed her gaze then went rigid.
Levi leaned against the wall, both hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans, gaze on Van.
“Oh, fuck.” The curse left his lips on hiccup.
“He’s a friend?” Anton asked softly.
Friend. Van snorted. “Ah, husband, actually.” He didn’t take his attention off Levi, and his husband didn’t break their stare off, either. He couldn’t decipher what he was supposed to read in Levi’s eyes, but he didn’t see anger or disgust. Seven years ago, Levi would be right there beside Van, barking the orders in that cool and unflappable way he did. Back in the day, Levi would watch him get fucked and Van would know every thought in his husband’s head.
Now, he was so fucking lost. He wanted to apologize. Felt as if it was the right thing to do, but why? They were done, and it was that knowledge that had sent him here to get fucked to numbness. But he’d been numb with Sylvie and Anton’s hands all over him.
Levi’ gaze boring into him, now that brought him to life.
How had Levi found him? How did his husband know about the club? Movement at the corner of his eye made him turn to his left, and he scowled when he spotted Mateo Oliveros and his husband coming down the stairs. Their eyes met, Van and Mateo, and the guy grinned at him, snapping a mock salute before looking at Levi. Van returned his gaze to Levi in time to see his husband turn on his heel and head for the front door.
Van didn’t have to think about it before he was moving, racing after Levi while zipping his jeans and buckling his belt on his way out the door. The cold air assaulted his lungs as he stood at the top of the brownstone’s steps and watched Levi hop into his car and pull off. This was stupid, and he had no reason to apologize, just like Levi had no reason to be mad.
Hell, he didn’t look mad. Or happy. His face was a fucking blank mask, showing nothing of his feelings, but Van got into his rental anyway. He followed Levi through the Brooklyn streets anyway.
Back in Coney Island he pulled into the underground parking lot just as Levi was walking to the condo entrance.
“Levi. Wait.” Van called to him as he jumped out the vehicle and ran over.
His husband didn’t look back, nor did he slow down which meant Van had to run after him, chase him into the building. He slid into the elevator seconds before the doors closed. Levi stood there, head straight ahead, hands back in his pockets.
“Levi.” His name cracked on Van’s tongue.
Levi’s gaze flicked to him then away, and still Van couldn’t make out his thoughts. “You left your friends hanging,” Levi said calmly.
“It didn’t mean anything.” Fuck, he shook his head. “Nothing happened other than what you saw.”
Levi punched the buttons on the elevator panel, and Van flinched as they lurched to a stop in between floors.
“No?” Levi faced, stalked him, which shouldn’t mean much in the small space they were now trapped in, but it did. “It didn’t mean anything?” His voice was so fucking calm it lifted the hair on Van’s nape. He kept his eyes locked on Levi’s, unable to blink or look away. Something was happening, but he couldn’t say what, he just felt it on the air around them, swirling, leaving goosebumps. A blurred movement barely registered then a hand was at his throat.
God. Oh God. The veil shielding Levi’s thoughts lifted and Van caught it all. The anger. The fury. The hunger. Blinding. And the fingers tightening around his throat, pinching.
Levi was always the only one to get away this thing, and he knew it too, the way the corner of his mouth curved in a mocking smile.
“That’s too bad,” Levi murmured. He moved forward, pushing Van back until his back was up against the wall of the elevator. “It’s really too bad, Donovan.”
“Van—”
“Maybe I wanted to watch.” Levi bent, nose at Van’s ear, breath hot even as his voice remained so calm and even. Cold. “Maybe I wanted to see if it’s still the same, the way you take dick. The way you spread wide and beg.” He pulled away slightly to gaze down at Van with the mocking still in his eyes. “Has it changed, your greed for it?”
Van shook his head. “I was only ever greedy for you.” For Levi’s touch, his voice. “I only ever begged for you.” From that very first touch, their dynamics had changed. Van hadn’t realized how much he’d needed what Levi was so fucking happy to deliver. They didn’t have to jockey for position nor did they have to fight. It worked. Their shit just worked.
“Is that right?” Levi stepped back, but Van grabbed his hand at the last second, connected to his husband by his fingertips. Not an unfamiliar sensation.
“Please.” He didn’t have to know what he was begging for. Or why. All his subconscious knew was that Levi stood there, and Van would beg for him, to him, all motherfucking day. Because Levi loved it when he begged.
And Van was all about giving his husband what he loved.
He’d given up. God knew he had. Last night, after he’d heard what Dutch had to say, he’d given up. But that was last night. Today he was back here, staring into this man’s eyes, and loving him so fucking hard.
Needing him so badly.
“A chance,” he whispered. “I want you. I want us. Forgive me for fucking up the best thing that ever happened to me, and take me back.”
They didn’t move. The tiny space was humid, claustrophobic, and not the ideal place for this conversation. But they were there now, and anytime was the right time to ask for what he wanted. But Levi remained firmly in control, in charge of Van’s pain and his pleasure. In control of their future.
Again Van begged. “Please.”
Levi pulled his hand away, body twisted as if to turn away from Van. And he saw it, going another seven years without this man. Hell another seven days.
“I know I messed up. I know you hate—” Van’s heart fucking stopped when Levi faced him fully. Everything was on display right then, everything on his husband’s face. Oh man. Wide eyes and dilated pupils. Flared nostrils and parted lips. Color high on his cheekbones, pulse beating at his throat.
“You know.” Eyebrow raised to his hairline, Levi gave him a dry chuckle. “What the fuck do you know, Donovan? Nothing,” he answered himself softly. “You know absolutely—”
“I know I hurt you deeply,” Van told him. No backing down. He had to earn this, and he would. “But I love you, and I also know somehow, in some fucking miraculous way, you still love me.”
Levi’s lips curved, but Van knew enough, remembered enough to know that was no happy or light gesture. “You love me, Donovan?” Head cocked, Levi stepped back. Once.
Van licked his lips.
“Prove it.”
Those two words slithered over Van’s skin, dragging, leaving marks behind.
Eyelids lowered, Levi said again, “Prove it.”
Van went to his knees. Forget where they were, and weren’t. Forget who they were, and weren’t. He wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist, buried his face in the other man’s stomach and wrapped himself around Levi’s left leg.
Humping him.
A firm hand gripped the back of his head, pushed his head backward, and Van gazed up while continuing to fuck himself against Levi. The best kind of feeling, being on that dusty elevator floor, fire raging, indecision of Levi’s face. He didn’t want to take them back to this, but they were always supposed to be here. So Van held Levi’s gaze, making sure his husband knew how much Van wanted this.
Needed it, as he rubbed so wantonly on Levi. The pleasure spiked, sweet and drugging, rushing through him, hardening his cock, making his balls throb. So good. They were always amazing, but when they got here, to this place, they were fire.
He rubbed so hard, cock dripping precum inside his jeans. The
friction was bliss, wrapped up in pleasure and pain. The kind Van hadn’t known he wanted until that first time Levi got his hands on him, put it on him, left him all trippy.
He wanted that again, so Van tipped his head all the way back, throat working as he gazed up at Levi. “Please.”
Hands on him. Eyes on him. Skin on his. All the things he wanted right there. Up to Levi if he’d get it, though. His eyes were wide, dark and swirling with the power Van had given him. The power to fuck him, love him, hurt him.
Grabbing Van by his beard, Levi tipped his head slightly. “Beg for me.”
One of Levi’s favorite things, that begging shit. Van stilled his hungry rubbing, swallowing the whimpers. “Please.” He was another person when he got here, but unlike the roles in which he pretended, this one was the real him. Levi didn’t even know, he didn’t realize how much of Van he had. How much of Van he got when he put Van on his knees. Every motherfucking thing. “Touch me. Let me touch you.”
Levi smiled. Predatory. The first Van had witnessed that smile he’d gotten the fiercest thrill, knowing instinctively his world was about to be flipped, fucked and changed.
No lie.
“Unbutton me,” Levi said softly.
Van did, so quickly. Ravenous for it. Desperate to see it. Belt unbuckled. Button undone. Zipper down. He held his breath, knees aching, mouth agape as he reached in, wrapped his fingers around Levi’s thick length and pulled him out.
God. Still so devastating, the skin a few shades darker than the rest of Levi’s body. Crown wet, tip fat and bright and guaranteed to make Van see stars. Call on God. Stutter.
His favorite thing. Ever. Levi’s dick.
His need for it had him leaning forward, closing the slight gap to put his lips on it. The tiniest brush against the glistening head. Kissing it in reverence. Fuck, he was about to sob. Fall apart at that smell. And the feel. Of this.
His man.
His.
A bead of liquid formed, and he flicked his tongue out. Caught that shit, moaned when the taste hit him in the nuts.
Motherfucker.
“Put your mouth on it.” Levi sounded as though he’d swallowed gravel.
Van didn’t need telling twice. He parted his lips, went full tilt. Until Levi was hitting the back of his throat, cutting off his air. Then he yanked himself away, panting, drool already sliding down his chin. He grasped Levi at the base of his cock and went back at it, wrist twisting, flicking as he stroked, throat working as he sucked, tongue licking, body jerking as he fought to take everything.
Levi made those sounds Van loved above him, hips rolling, slamming forward, fucking his throat. Impossible to get a good grip on him with all the saliva slicking him, but Van still held him as he let Levi dick his throat, bang the fuck out of it.
Whatever he wanted.
Shit, he was already sore. Knees. Throat. Balls.
“Fuck.” Levi staggered, grabbed on to the back of Van’s neck, and Van held him, too. One hand on his dick the other on his right hip. Keep him there, no getting away.
He sucked so hard, the sounds were the best. So fucking obscene. His wet gasps, the snick-snick every time he stroked the pulsing cock in his mouth. Fighting to breath without taking his mouth off Levi, without lifting his head.
Then Levi pulled him off. Van struggled to get back there, to put his face back at Levi’s crotch, eyes closed, whimpering at the loss.
“You give the best fucking head.” Levi guided him back on it, shoving his way in and through and deep.
Van gagged, clung when Levi would’ve pulled back again.
“Stop.” Levi stilled, but Van couldn’t. “Fuck. Fuck.” Levi yanked him off and Van fell backward, but Levi came to him, caught him before he could hit the elevator wall behind him. “Stay there.” Hand on Van’s chin, he ordered. “Open.”
Van did, so eager.
Levi brought himself to Van’s lips, but instead of dipping inside he stroked the tip over Van’s lips, smearing his precum. As Van stared up at him. Levi smiled that tight, hungry smile. “Got me on your lips like lip balm.”
Van licked it off, nice and slow, loving the way Levi groaned, gaze darkening as he brushed Van’s lips again.
“You like it when I’m nasty,” Levi murmured, almost absentmindedly.
“Yes,” Van croaked. Nasty Levi was the best.
Levi’s hold on him fell away, and Van made a grab for him, but Levi dodged him.
“Please.”
Cock in hand, Levi stroked himself, gaze intent on Van’s face, and he lifted a foot. The right, brought it to Van’s face then dropped it lower.
Oh God. Van tipped his body backward, balancing his weight by keeping both hands flat on the floor as he exposed his neck. That booted foot came to rest at his throat. He convulsed with the rush of adrenaline and pleasure that seized him. The foot stayed on his throat, enough pressure for him to feel it all over.
But especially in his balls.
He held himself still as Levi stroked his dick.
“How many men’s been here?” Levi asked. “At your throat?”
“One.” He cleared his throat. “One. You.”
“I feel so special.” Levi dropped his leg, stepped closer. “Give me your mouth.”
Getting back into a seated position, Van leaned forward, and Levi canted his hips, cock head pushing at Van’s lips before sliding between, inside. He went back to sucking, loud and wet, and hard enough that Levi’s breath turned loud and harsh above him. But just as Van closed his eyes and sank back into that pleasure, Levi was stepping away again.
“On your feet. Jeans around your ankles.”
Van scrambled to do it, and he got one leg free before Levi was on him, pushing him into the wall. His jeans was stuck in his right boot, but he managed to lift the left, wrap it around Levi’s waist. Because his husband was on him, teeth sinking into Van’s shoulder, biting as he grabbed both Van’s ass cheeks and pressed in.
No lube. Just spit. Van grunted, everything hurting. Everything, but the pressure of Levi’s invasion was…
Nirvana.
All that pain?
Yeah, nirvana. Because Levi was on him, barging in him, teeth too. Van’s limbs locked, breath paused for that heartbeat as Levi dragged out.
“Unngh.” He grabbed Levi’s ass, tightened the leg around him. Fucker was going nowhere. Nowhere. “Levi.” He didn’t even know how he managed to speak with that blinding pain tearing through him, but Van needed Levi to know. “Don’t go.”
A bitter chuckle warmed his shoulder where Levi’s face was buried, and his husband pushed forward again, driving in again. No less painful this time…but that nirvana shit was still true.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Levi muttered at his ear. He pulled his head back, grabbed Van’s chin so their gazes could connect. Lock. “Fuck me right and I might forgive you.” He slammed in, all the way.
Van cried out, Levi did too. And he saw the realization of what they were doing darken Levi’s eyes, felt him shudder. No protection. Van clung to him by the belt loop just above Levi’s ass since he hadn’t bothered to remove his jeans.
Levi rolled his hips, and Van tightened around him, lashes fluttering, He wanted to close his eyes, lose himself in that sensation of full, and right and motherfuck! that he got every time Levi got up in him. Seven years. His eyes burned, turned damp. Levi’s eyes were red, too.
This was no small thing. Never could be with them. Van had accepted it the very first they’d gotten naked.
“Your body remembers me,” Van whispered. He thrust, and Van moved with him, riding him, shoulders against the wall of the elevator, hips lifting off, and rolling, fucking Levi as he did the same. “Yeah? You remember this.” He slammed in. “That deep up in your ass dick you could never get enough of?”
Van couldn’t speak, gone with the agonized pleasure melting him. But Levi never could stop with the talking when they got like this.
“I remember how you let me get away
with anything once my dick was in your ass.” He stopped moving, and Van tightened around him, sounds of frustration rumbling in his throat. Levi bit Van on the neck, near his Adam’s apple.
Van convulsed.
“Yeah. Like that.” But he didn’t stop biting Van, sharp, so painful, but sweet Jesus it felt good. Felt fucking good. Jacked his balls up, had him leaking, soaking that spot between them where Levi had his dick trapped.
“Please.” This was what his dialogue had been reduced to. Simple, plaintive begging.
“That’s it.” Levi rolled his hips, cheeks rubbing against Van’s. “Beg me for it. Beg me to fuck you. Beg me to ride you the way you like.” Lifting his head, he peered down at Van with blown pupils. “Beg for the rest of it.”
The rest of it.
Van could come from just that last sentence alone. Took him a minute to get his tongue to work, and Levi pulled out, almost all the way, trailing heat, the flared tip of his cock right there, just inside Van’s entrance.
“Don’t. Don’t fucking stop.” His voice shook as he tried to wiggle on it, tried to get Levi to get back in there. Deeper. “Stay.” His voice was barely there as he said it again, “Stay. I don’t want to be empty. Don’t leave me empty.”
He reared up, slammed himself back on it, took that dick all the way inside him.
“Shit.” Levi pounded into him, both hands gripping Van’s ass cheeks now, hiking him higher, opening him wider. “Greedy son of a bitch. Ride it. Fucking ride it.”
Van panted, sweating, twisting, mouth open and he rode it. Loved it. He’d thought he’d never get this chance again, feel Levi inside him like this. No rhythm, just Levi slamming into him, and Van taking it.
“Want you to feel me.” Levi’s mouth was at his ear, breath harsh, loud, broken. “In your fucking chest. When I come inside that ass, you better taste it on your tongue.”
Van grabbed Levi’s face in both hands. He shook. Sweet God. He missed this man, so gentle and tender and shit, until he got his cock in Van and then he was beast. He loved this man. When Levi looked into his eyes, Van told him. “I love you.”
The cock inside him jerked, got thicker, those punching thrusts reverberating through his bones.
