by Eve R. Hart
Iron disconnected the call and flashed me a mischievous smirk.
“You should have been more specific with your demands,” he said chuckling. Damn him. “Tuesdays and Sundays. Noon to four.”
Well, friggin’ awesome. The crap shifts. Dad knew my schedule and I was sure that was why he’d said Tuesdays because my last class got out at ten. I wouldn’t be making much money working those times and he knew it. It also wouldn’t be busy and the chances of something happening like a fight breaking out were slim to none, I imagined. My dad took my slyness and turned it around on me. I should have known better.
But instead of being pissed or pleading for something more, I took it. It was a job and that was what I wanted. At least it would get me out of the house.
“Thank you, Iron,” I said.
“I’ll have someone there on Sunday to train you. Not much to it, but I’m sure you know that.”
“Yeah. I won’t let you down.”
“I believe you. You need anything, you holler, you hear?” he asked with seriousness in his tone.
“I will. Thanks again.” I gave him a huge smile and a wave then headed back out the way I’d come in.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Knight
I sat at my place at the table. I was on edge and irritated, but it wasn’t because of the club. I hadn’t slept well. I hated even being in my own apartment.
It wasn’t that I was completely disgusted by the idea of being around Gwen, it was the fact that I wanted to be around her all the time. I wanted to hear her laugh. Her voice. Hell, I was happy just breathing the same air as her. And at the same time, being near her was like a hard kick to the nuts every time. It was a reminder of what I’d had at one time in my life. It was also a constant warning label of what I could never have. The future that I had envisioned so many times, for so many years, that I would never be a part of.
Pushing my thoughts of Gwen to the side, I looked at my new prez and tried my best to focus on the meeting. Things had been going pretty smoothly for the club for a few months now, but I could sense a shift in the tides coming. Though, I couldn’t tell why.
Iron rattled off things that had been going on, how well the side businesses had been doing. He let us know the plan for the near future and we talked about the prospects, to which we had a good handful of.
This chapter was growing, and pretty quickly I would have said. It seemed like every day we had a new person sniffing around, whether it be someone curious about joining or someone wanting to be cool by association. And not to mention the women, there were so many that wanted the title of exclusive clubwhore.
So far, we hadn’t set up a place for them on the compound. The women usually flocked to the bar and tried their best to pick one of us up or get an invite to a party back at the clubhouse. I could tell that Prez was still trying to figure out what to do when it came to the women that pushed their way into the club.
While the other chapters had a place for them at the compound, usually a little area that they had to themselves, we hadn’t talked about that yet. Sure we had the room if we really wanted to, but I could tell most of the brothers were a little glad that they could send them packing at the end of the night. That wasn’t to say that they didn’t come back the next night to try their luck with the same brother or do their best to find another bed to warm for a while.
The hanger-ons weren’t really my thing, to be honest. I didn’t do the whole club life to get laid. Truth was, I’d only been with a few women. Okay, more than a few, but I could honestly say that my numbers were low compared to a lot of the other guys around me.
There had been a good number while I was in high school, because I was a dumb, horny teenage boy. Once I went away to college, I toned down the wild streak and the only sex I had was with girls I ended up in a relationship with. Though, there had only been two.
The last one ended because we both knew that once college was over we were going to go our separate ways. It was more or less something to pass the time for both of us. Which I realized was really shitty to say, but she felt it just as much as I did. We each always had one foot out the door. But it worked at the time. The whole year that we’d been together, that was. Looking back on it, I wondered how we had lasted that long anyway.
I thought back to how we’d even gotten together in the first place. Sam was in one of my classes and we ended up having a project together. She was fun and always smiled. That was what drew me in, the way she made everything light and playful. It only took two weeks of us working closely together before we fell into bed and then into a relationship. I knew, and I had a feeling that she did too, the moment we went for it and started stripping our clothes off that it wasn’t going to be a quick fuck. I felt comfortable around her and there was just something about her that made me forget about my past, about the world I had left behind. She saw me as Knight, the man that was trying to figure out his direction in life, not as the man who grew up in a motorcycle club.
I wouldn’t have said that the year we’d spent together was a waste, but I knew it was nothing more than a nice, prolonged escape. We seemed to be what each other needed at that time. Though I was never sure what it was that she was trying to distract herself from because we never talked beyond surface level.
Since then, there had been a handful of one-night stands to add the list. I wasn’t a saint and I had needs. The sad part was, I always knew I wouldn’t find what I was looking for with any of them.
“I want to make sure everyone’s happy,” Iron said, and I shifted my attention back to him. I knew he wasn’t talking about the club, but more the outside groups that surrounded us. “I talked to Cal the other day, and he didn’t have much to say in the negative about the port. I want to keep it that way. I’ve been hearing rumors, and while they may just be that—rumors—I want to make sure that things don’t get out of hand. We’ve come in here and shaken things up. We knew that would happen, but we need to be prepared for the backlash. We also need to come up with solutions to mend fences when they break. Got me?”
There were a few murmurs of agreement around the table as well as a few head nods. I had a small clue as to what he was hinting at, but the fact was, I’d been too in my head lately to pay attention to the outside chatter.
One of my main jobs was to secure the docks and make sure nothing came in or went out that we weren’t alright with. It also meant that I was in charge of most of the hand-offs and making sure the merchandise what exactly what it was supposed to be. I hadn’t run into any problems with the Russians or the Irish so far, but that didn’t mean that there wasn’t trouble once they stepped beyond my gates. I could admit that I had been distracted for weeks now, but I did my best to keep my head level when I was on the job.
It looked like it was time to really start paying attention. Based on the prez’s words, I had no doubt that he wanted all ears to the ground and eyes wide the fuck open.
I had to get Gwen out of my head. But the only way to do that was to get her away from me and out of my apartment. And I knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. I needed to figure out something, and fast, because I had no doubt that my distracted mind wouldn’t be able to stay hidden for much longer. While Iron was new to the president seat, he wasn’t a dumbass. In fact, he was sharp as a damn tack, and the thing was, you might night even know that he was on to you. He was cool and collected, just like a man in charge should be.
“Knight,” Prez said, catching my full attention. I raised a brow and waited for him to go on. “Docks good?” I gave a firm nod. “Any problems with the prospects?”
“Nope,” I said letting out a long breath as I took a moment to think. “The new kid seems to be doing the best out of all of them. He’s very perceptive and doesn’t slack off. I’m curious to see if that continues. He knows when to say something and when to keep quiet. He isn’t cocky but he isn’t timid and unsure either.”
Prez nodded as he took all the information in. He knew that if I h
ad a problem on my end that I would immediately come to him.
The meeting ended and we all headed downstairs to the common area. I decided that it was probably a good idea that I hung around a bit. I had two beers and played three games of pool while I listened to my brothers chat about the one thing I was trying to avoid. I couldn’t tell if they were doing it just to get on my damn nerves or if they just had nothing more exciting to talk about.
“So, Gwen said she’s going to start having a movie night on Fridays,” Mouse said as he leaned over the table and took his shot. He got the intended ball in the intended pocket and I hated him just a little more. How he was able to talk—to think—about her and keep his focus was lost on me. “She wants to cook and all that shit. I told her I was down, but she said I had to get you on board.”
I grunted as I waited for him to take his next shot.
“You aren’t going to say no, right? Bro, come on, her cooking is the shit,” a very drunk B-ry said as he slung his arm over my shoulder. I knew he was living at the compound, so I wasn’t worried about how he’d get home.
“Whatever,” I replied like a pissed off teenager. “It’s her place too. She doesn’t have to run every little thing by me.” I leaned over and tried my best to line up a shot.
“Yeah, but I think she’s trying to be courteous and all that shit. Damn, Knight, who the hell soured your beer?” B-ry said with a slight slur. I brushed it off. I knew it wasn’t him, I was pissed off with myself.
“Hell, if she’s cooking, I’m fuckin’ in,” Ky added as he tossed back the rest of his beer.
I wanted to hate them all, yet I knew there was no reason to. That was the thing that sucked the most, knowing that I was in the wrong about the whole thing. They were good guys and I knew they were simply trying to make her feel welcome and be friendly. Well, I had hoped anyway. B-ry and Mouse had known her for a long time and who was I to stand in the way of their friendship.
I felt like the biggest dick in the world. Probably why I fucking missed the simple shot that had practically been laid out for me.
“Wow,” Mouse said and I could tell by his tone he was being a sarcastic asshole. “Do you even know how to play pool?”
I was going to punch the fuck out of his pretty face.
“Shut it!” I barked and downed the rest of my beer.
“Well, fuck. What the hell is your problem?” By the fucking smirk on Mouse’s face, I knew I didn’t even need to give a reply.
I wondered if I was that readable or if he simply knew because he had been around back then. He had been there to witness what happened with Gwen. But then I remembered that he wasn’t around the club all that much when he was younger. His mom did her best to shield him from the life. Maybe it just was that I was that fucking obvious. Damn, I really hated everything right then.
“I’m headed out,” I said in a pissed off tone.
“Really? So early, man?” I turned to B-ry and by the twitch of his lips, I knew he was just trying to get me going. I wasn’t having it.
“Yeah,” I replied with a forced smile as I slapped him on the back. “See ya.” I chuckled as I shot Ky and Mouse a chin lift then made my way out to my bike.
I sat there on my bike for a long moment. The muggy air filled my lungs with the same kind of heaviness that seemed to saturate my soul at that moment. I wanted to head home, yet, I didn’t. That was what sucked the most, to finally feel like I had a place of my own only to have the peacefulness that I’d done my best to create there yanked away from me.
The ride back home was short. As I put the key into the lock, I heard voices from the other side of the door. One I knew was Gwen’s but the other I didn’t recognize at all. I stood there for a long moment and listened. Sure it was creepy as fuck, but I didn’t care. The thing was, I wanted to know all about Gwen’s life, hell, I wanted to be a part of it. But I knew it was best if I stayed on the outer rim and just observed in the quiet darkness.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Gwen
I was sitting on the couch chatting with Tara when I heard the key in the lock. I knew it was Knight and as much as I wanted to jump up and dash to my room, I couldn’t. So I held my ground and kept talking to Tara like I wasn’t even fazed that Knight had come home.
When in reality, I was super shocked. I knew he’d been avoiding me. He wouldn’t normally come in until late and he would often leave before I even got up.
It hurt, I wouldn’t lie, but he had made his feelings known all those years ago so I should have expected the distance he kept between us.
“Oh, hello,” Tara said in a surprised, perky voice as she turned to see him walk in. For some reason, it grated on my nerves but I did my best to swallow the feeling down.
“Hey,” Knight grunted out, not even giving her a second look.
On the one hand, I was glad that he wasn’t making eyes at her but on the other, I was pissed that he was being openly rude.
“Well, um, I should get out of your hair then,” Tara said jumping up and grabbing her books. His rudeness and dismissal was so blatant that I was sure she didn’t miss the way the air turned to ice in the room. “I’ll see you in class.” She darted off to the door before I even had a chance to tell her bye.
That was it. I’d had enough. Or maybe it was lack of a decent nights sleep, but I snapped.
“What the hell is your problem?” I barked.
Knight froze, halfway to his bedroom and his escape from me. He didn’t move his head as his eyes cut over to me. Suddenly I was so cold and all it took was one look from him.
I stood there waiting for an answer even though I knew I wasn’t going to get one.
“This isn’t working,” I finally said because I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to feel comfortable in my own living environment. “I’m just going to tell my dad that I want my own place and I’ll be out of your fucking hair.”
I didn’t wait for a reply, one that I probably wasn’t going to get anyway. I stormed off and slammed the door closed behind me once I was in the safety of my room. I leaned against the solid wood and tried to hold my tears back. I knew he wasn’t the same boy that I’d once known but that didn’t stop hope from keeping the flame alive in my heart.
All I wanted to do was crawl under my covers and hide. And really, I was two seconds away from that when I heard his feet on the floor just outside of my room. I didn’t breathe as I waited for him to knock or say something. Part of me thought he wouldn’t even do either of those things. That instead, he would stand there for a long moment and then turn and leave, and I would call him a coward in my mind.
“Gwen…” He sighed and still I held my breath, waiting for the words that would change this whole hostel dynamic we had going on.
There was only the thin layer of the door between us but it felt like so much more. It felt like we were, and had been for a long time, a world away. I knew at some point one of us was going to have to break the ice, but I wanted it to be him since he had been the one to freeze me out in the first place.
“I’m going to bed,” he finally said and I wanted to scream. “This place is yours too, don’t feel like you have to hide in there or that you can’t have people over.”
With that, I heard his steps retreating and I had no idea what to even think. He didn’t tell me that he wanted me to stay yet, he didn’t tell me to get out. Frustrated was a light word to use for how I felt.
If I wanted things to change then I knew I was going to have to be the one to do it. I felt so torn on the whole Knight thing. I wanted the old Knight back yet, I wanted to get to know the man that I now shared a space with. I knew we couldn’t ever go back to how thing were when we were kids, but that didn’t stop the child in me from hoping.
“Knight?” I called out through the door. I imagined that he hadn’t gotten far and when the sounds of his boots walking on the hardwood floor halted, I knew he had heard me. “I can’t do this anymore. And I know you don’t want to either.”
I was met with silence. The air so still that I felt like I was suffocating. With a shaky hand, I grabbed the doorknob and twisted. The door opened and I saw him standing there, his back to me and his shoulders hunched in what I would have assumed was defeat.
“I won’t live like this. I deserve better,” I said as I stared at the back of his neck, willing him to turn and face me. But then again, I might have lost all my courage once I looked into his eyes. “I don’t know what I did to you, but it’s not fair to either of us to live in a place where neither of us feels like we want to be here. I’m sorry my dad asked this of you. I wished he hadn’t. God knew if I had any idea I would have done my best to stop him. Then again, I’m sure he suspected I would and that was the reason he didn’t even tell me beforehand. But I can’t, no, I won’t live like this.”
There. I’d said my peace and I resigned to fate that Knight was my past and that was all he would ever be. I was prepared to let him go because that was all I could do. I thought I had before, but at that moment I realized that I had only lived in denial of the past.
“Don’t go.” His words came out so low that I wasn’t sure I’d even heard him right.
“Why?” I asked because that simply wasn’t good enough. “Because you’re afraid of my dad or because you want me here.”
His body jerked with a silent, sarcastic chuckle before he turned to face me. There was so much anguish and pain etched on his face that it pulled at my heartstrings.
“Because I don’t want you to go,” he said and his eyes pinned me as though he was trying to tell me so much more than his words.
“Something has got to give here, Knight,” I whispered as I felt my feet move to close the distance between us. I stopped when I had no more room to move forward and looked up at him. “What happened to us?”
I could feel my body shaking as I asked the question I’d been holding onto all these years. I knew I wasn’t going to get an answer but it still cut me to the bone that we had ended up here.
