by Stahl, Shey
Why wouldn’t he smile?
His parents were awesome. Sure, we were inept as hell but still...awesome.
I knew the trip home would be just as much of a catastrophe as the trip here but I was surprised to see that it was actually worse.
It started with the boat ride back to Rio De Janeiro, where Jameson vomited twice over the side of the boat but refused to admit that he was seasick.
Instead he blamed it on the amount of water he’d swallowed in the waterfall we found on the island.
Yes, he did swallow an abundance of water but it was hardly my fault. He was the one that who thought it would be cool to fuck up against the rocks beneath the steady stream of water. We had to stop after a few minutes because for one, we did ingest a great deal of water, and two, something slimy was near us and I really didn’t want to hear about another scratch from Jameson.
Originally, I was envisioning it to be comparable to something out of the Cocktail movie with Tom Cruise but it was nothing like that at all.
Have you ever tried it? Water splashes you in the face, it’s hard to steady your feet, and did I mention that there was something slimy in there with us?
The hilarious part about the entire escapade was me asking Jameson his thoughts on the penis fish. I’d never seen him run so fast.
The airplane ride was similar to the flight there but what sealed the deal and made this quite possibly the worst trip ever was when the guy sitting behind Jameson’s seat, kept kicking him.
Utterly annoyed, he rolled his head over to one side, side-eying me. “I’m gonna fucking kill him if he kicks my seat one more time.”
“Just relax,” I urged in a calm voice I’d perfected since marrying him and becoming a parent. “I’d like to go home, not jail.”
Just as I expected, the asshole kicked Jameson’s seat again. What happened next was another experience in my life that was difficult to describe. Jameson and the asshole behind us got in a fight, an actual fistfight brawl over kicking chairs.
My response as we were being escorted to security once we landed in Dallas. “Nice job asshole. Real fucking mature.”
Nursing a bloody lip he said, “He had it coming.”
Jameson was placed on a “No Fly” list for threatening a flight attendant and punching a security guard...security guard being the guy that was kicking his chair. Who knew.
Needless to say, to actually get home, Wes had to come get us because Jameson was not allowed to fly with normal people any longer.
When he returned from security I asked, “How’d that work out for you? Feel good about yourself?”
He had no answer for me. No answer I was amused with at least.
When we finally made it home to Elma, it was both a relief and yet another clusterfuck.
We had picked up Axel from Alley and Spencer’s apartment on Tuesday night. Jameson had to fly out Wednesday morning for Vegas so I had to hurry and pack everything Axel and I would need for the next week so we could go with him.
It was a great plan but as I was standing in the garage getting ready to open the door to go into the kitchen I heard noises and a voice coming from inside the house.
Retrieving our bags from the back of the Expedition, Jameson walked up to me holding the bags and smiled down at Axel. “Open the door, honey.”
“There’s someone in there.” I whispered, watchful.
“What?” he asked, his brow furrowing in uncertainty.
We’d been through so much on our honeymoon it was hard to believe anything else could possibly go wrong.
“I hear voices in there.” I told him removing Axel from his car seat. “What should we do?”
“Uh...grab the tire iron out of the Expedition.” he put on his manly protective face. “I’ll call Van.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s in his apartment, I think.”
I then went into protective Mama Wizard mode and hunched over Axel.
Jameson slowly moved inside the house, with the tire iron in hand.
Van was there in seconds, holding a gun.
“Where’d that come from?” I asked eyeing the black handgun.
“I always carry a gun Ms. Sway.” Van offered nervous smile.
“What if they have a gun?”
“Run,” Jameson said over his shoulder as if I was stupid for even asking this.
The thought that someone might possibly be inside my home with a gun made my blood run cold. I would kill anyone that would harm my little flailing spaz.
When we made our way inside the laundry room we could hear the voices coming from what appeared to be the family room. Van motioned for Jameson to stay with us as he made his way through the kitchen.
We didn’t stay—we followed closely behind our badass Navy Seal.
“What are you two...never mind...just stay behind me.”
All four of us slowly shuffled throughout our gigantic house, room by room, as we carried the flailing spaz with us.
Axel, who usually remained fairly quiet, chose that exact moment to start cooing at his daddy.
We heard glass breaking and then a women’s voice said, “Oh shit...pick that up.”
I knew right then who that was.
Jameson looked over his shoulder at me, glaring. “I’ll fucking kill her if she has my underwear!”
Van spun around to face us his brown eyes dark and contemplating. “Do you know who it is?”
“Dana...that’s Dana’s voice,”
“You mean Dana, the crazy-stalker-next-door-neighbor Dana?”
“Yes,” we both said together as Jameson took Axel from me.
“I’d better hold him. If I don’t, I may possibly kill her.”
“What should we do?” I asked looking between Jameson and Van.
“We need to defend our domain.” Jameson proclaimed handing Axel back to me.
I giggled at his fierce expression.
Van nodded. “Damn straight.”
They made their way into the office to look over the security cameras to find out what room she was in.
Sure enough, she was in our bedroom.
After everything that had been happening to us lately, I had a feeling we’d be in wheel chairs and this shit would still be occurring. Never a dull moment, that’s for sure.
We stepped inside our master bedroom, Van with a gun, Jameson with a tire iron and me standing behind him with our flailing cooing spaz, who just sneezed.
“Bless you.” I whispered, kissing the top of his rusty curls.
Dana froze, standing in front of our dresser with an armful of Jameson’s underwear while Cooper, stood there staring at my underwear drawer.
What a bunch of fucking sicko’s.
I had this fear that they would start asking us to put lotion on our skin and then take that too.
“What the fuck? Put those back!” Jameson ordered.
“I...um...I...shit...” Dana squeaked out dropping the underwear, her frantic eyes looked toward our Navy Seal.
“You have five seconds to get out or I will shoot you.” Van warned in a stern voice he used when in his protector mode. It sounded like Christian Bale in the Batman movies.
Suddenly, Cooper and Dana made a run for it and were out the door, without our underwear.
“Does this kind of thing happen a lot?” Van asked putting his gun inside the front of his pants.
“Yes.” We both mumbled, spent from everything that had happened in the last few weeks.
An hour later, Van went back to his apartment over the garage and Jameson and I packed for the Vegas race.
Axel played in his bouncy chair beside us cooing away. He loved that thing.
When we finally had the last of everything packed, the doorbell rang.
“If that’s Dana...we’re moving.” Jameson told me and picked up the tire iron beside his feet.
Blend Line – Jameson
I really was expecting it to be Dana when I answered the door but no, it was Spencer.
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“I was thinking you could help me with something.” He greeted me. “You’re—”
“No, I’m not helping.” I cut him off walking into the kitchen to find a much needed drink.
He kept throwing ideas out for ways I could help him get back on Alley’s good graces—he’d apparently pissed her off somehow. All of them I quickly dismissed as trite and lackluster. I refused to help anymore. I’ve done my good deeds.
“Oh yeah...how’d it work out with Dana in your house?” he asked leaning against the counter.
“What?” I slowly turned my head toward him.
“I forgot to tell you...” he burst out laughing. “I let her in.”
“Get the fuck out!” I yelled pointing at the door. “Get the fuck out right now!”
“No,” He argued.
“Fine...” I chugged the beer in my hand before slamming it down on the counter. “Paybacks are a motherfucker, Spencer!”
He threw his head back and laughed one loud bellowing laugh.
This was war.
The next morning, I put my plan into action
“Wow, no bullshit—do you think it will work?” I asked Van as he explained how this particular taser would work.
Spencer had fucked with the wrong man.
“Yep, it’s flawless.”
“Really?”
“Yep,”
“Is this thing legal?” I held up the taser.
Van adjusted my hand away from the trigger and away from his body with a laugh.
“Well no...it’s not legal, but it’s either that or you could hit him over the head with a hammer.”
“I wanna hurt him, not kill him.” I took a step toward the door. “C’mon let’s get outta here before the Sheriff comes back.”
Van and I had snuck into the Sheriff’s office this morning to snatch a taser. I really thought a taser would come in handy with Dana stalking me and my shitfuck of a brother assisting her.
“Good idea, you’re already on a No Fly list.”
“Hardly my fault,” I mumbled walking to my car.
It was around six in the morning and we were all set to fly to Vegas this afternoon when Van turned to me. “Hey, so, Logan and Lucas were asking if they could come with us to Vegas.”
“Fuck,” I sighed.
I hated to say no after everything they’d been through but I also did not want any drama in Vegas. I needed to concentrate on racing and not babysitting the Lucifer twins.
I agreed only because Andrea agreed to come along as well but I did sit the twins down prior to boarding the plane. “Okay, if you are going to come with us we have to set a few ground rules. First off no asking me any questions. Second, if you do anything besides look at Axel, I will strangle both of you. Third, I have duct tape—if you fuck with me—I will use it.”
“Got it,” They both said together nodding with wide smiles before running toward the plane.
I had a feeling this was not going to be a positive experience.
Van looked over at me and reached for the bags. “You actually sound worried.”
“Spend more than five minutes around them and you’ll understand.” I told him adjusting my bag on my shoulder.
The plane ride was a complete disaster, as usual. The twins never stopped talking. Sway spent the entire time soothing Axel who cried the entire two hours, and Emma and Aiden fought the entire trip.
I had a feeling they didn’t want to tell anyone why they were fighting but I was beginning to think it might actually be something serious by the way she was crying.
“What the fuck is going on between you two?” I asked Aiden once we got off the plane and loaded our bags into the waiting Expedition.
“You should talk to her about that...she’s made it pretty fucking evident I have no say in any of this.” He grumbled walking away from me.
Besides the time in Eldora last year when another spotter got in Aiden’s face from something I did on the track, I’d never seen Aiden worked up or angry. Now he actually resembled me.
I just blew it off. I had way too much on my mind with the race to be trying to solve other people’s problems.
Once we were at the track the reporters and fans had some sort of obsession with Sway and Axel, wanting pictures of all of us. I didn’t mind but I also didn’t want Axel in the spotlight so soon. This newfound fascination left Sway and Axel camping out in the motor coach most of the weekend with Van.
“How’s the car today?”
“It’s really fast.” I smiled. “Yesterday we had the car in race trim so we’ll see. It’s not just having a fast car...it’s tires, it’s fuel and more importantly, position on the track.” I told the reporter.
I enjoyed racing in Vegas as I loved the 1.5 mile tracks. With the asphalt surface and twenty degree banking it made for some exciting racing. I also loved the fact they had a dirt track there.
Who wouldn’t?
“Now Justin West drove your car last weekend and pulled off a win for you in Rockingham. Do you think Justin has what it takes to make it in the cup series full-time?”
“Without a doubt I do...but that’s not what Justin’s interested in. He’s a sprint car guy. If he wasn’t—I know Jimi would be hiring another driver by now. Both Justin and Tyler are incredibly talented drivers.”
“Midway through last season everything seemed to take a turn for the worst after your wreck. Was there ever a point where you just said this may not be the season for me?” Neil, a reporter with SPEED asked me while I stood next to my car before the race.
“Yes and no. I wanted to say it...I felt it but everyone was pushing me to continue on and I’m glad they did. That’s why I was able to come back from it and win. We don’t give these behind the scenes guys enough credit for everything they do. It was because of them I was able to do it.”
I didn’t want to come out and say who helped me, only because it was none of the media’s business.
“It looks like this season may be a repeat?”
“I don’t know about that but I’m sure gonna try.” I told him wrapping my arm around Sway who stood next to me holding Axel.
Neil turned looked at Sway. “You recently lost your father. Is it hard being around racing so much, knowing the impact he had on the racing community?”
Sway smiled softly looking down at Axel. “No...it is what it is. Charlie will always hold a special spot in a lot of people’s lives but especially mine. He was more than a father to me—he had to be. He raised me by himself.” Sway said. “He would have wanted us to continue living our lives. That’s all anyone can do.”
I glared at Neil for even bringing up Charlie.
“Well, good luck today Jameson and congratulations on the baby.”
Watching Sway before the race, smiling at Axel, I couldn’t believe how well she’d adapted to all this. She just went with the flow of everything. I mean Christ, she’d just lost her father a few weeks back but here she was, supporting me and being a mother to our son.
“I can’t believe how well you just...go with the flow.” I said to her once Neil left.
“Is that supposed to be dirty?” she asked adjusting her hold on Axel. His eyes peeked over her shoulder peering out at the line of cars.
“No silly girl.” I laughed kissing the top of her head. “I just...thank you.”
After the National Anthem, Sway left with Axel to go up to the towers where they’d watch the race and I got inside the car.
“You copy Aiden?” I asked when I got my helmet on.
“10-4, loud and clear,”
Checking switches and adjusting my belts, I asked. “What about you Kyle, you copy?”
“Yep, gotcha,”
“You got five laps to green, do you see your pit box when you come around. Spencer’s waving at you.”
“Yeah I see him.” I laughed. “It’s hard to miss his egg head.”
“Watch your RPM’s as you come by?” Aiden said. “That should be pit road speed.”
“3900,”
“Okay so 3900, second gear when you hit pit road, remember that.” Kyle reminded me. “We don’t need a penalty for that.”
“All right...let’s have a good race here boys.” I said tugging on my belts.
“10-4; just take your time. It’s a long race, stay focused.”
“Keep me calm.”
Once the race was underway, it was hard to think of anything but the race.
I was battling for second place with Colin Shuman and Paul Leighty was right on my ass.
“Is that legal?” I asked when Paul darted below the line to pass me on the inside.
“Three wide...two wide...all clear behind.” Aiden announced. “Down on the line. Thirty nine on your bumper,”
“Yes, it is.” Kyle said with a laugh. It was rare for anyone to pass me on the inside. I was known for hugging the line.
“Does that mean...?”
“Yes, it does.”
“Thirty four at your left rear...two-wide, clear,”
“Oh, goddamn it!” I slammed my fists on the steering wheel and for good measure—I tossed my water bottle across the cockpit.
“Pretty much,” I knew I couldn’t win them all, but that sure as hell didn’t stop me from wanting to.
Remember that saying “Say When?” I didn’t know when to say “Say When.”
I’d always want more but the longer I raced, the more I realized every other driver was exactly like me, always wanting more.
Blend Line – Sway
“Stop booing. Everyone is trying very hard.” Emma said suddenly looking up from her TMZ magazine. Why she is looking at that was beyond me.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I punched her shoulder and ripped the magazine out of her hand. “Your brother just got his ass handed to him on a pass that should have been illegal. Stop acting like a damn cheerleader.”
“Sportsmanship. Try it.” She replied taking her magazine back with force.
I went back to listening to the in car audio.
Next to me, Nancy played with Axel beside me laughing at every little noise he made.
“The bottom is good...I just can’t arch it in like I did yesterday.” Jameson said as he battled again with Colin Shuman, the new driver that took Darrin’s place.
