by Stahl, Shey
“Oh sweetie,” Ami cooed rubbing my shoulder with her one free arm. “I feel the same way. Lily told me last week when she fell off the monkey bars that she wanted Axel.”
“How’d Justin take that?”
“He wasn’t there but when I told him later he wasn’t thrilled that Axel rates higher than we do.”
We both watched as Lily skipped away to sit in the stands with the rest of the kids and wave her sign as the cars rolled onto the track.
Tommy pushed his car off and then sat down beside me with a huff. “That kid is pickier than his father.”
I just giggled as he wiped sweat from his brow.
“Poor fire crotch.” I reached over to ruffle his orange curls.
“Cut it out, people are looking at us.” He pushed my hands away.
“What are you talking about?”
“People...they’re looking.”
I glanced around; no one was paying any mind to us. “No one is looking at us.”
His eyes glanced toward a woman off to the left sitting with her son. “Someone is looking.”
Oh, I get it. Fire crotch had the hots for the mama in front of us. Ami, sitting beside me, started laughing. This was my chance to embarrass fire crotch and I took every opportunity I could to act on this and now wasn’t any different.
When I went to stand, his arm caught mine and pulled me back down roughly. “Don’t you even think about it shit head.”
“I’m thirsty.” I told him smacking my lips together. Ami was now laughing so hard she was crying and snorting. I turned toward her. “You’re not helping. Stop it.”
This did nothing for her attempts and made her laugh harder. Our kids noticed from two rows in front of us and looked back at us as if their parents had lost their minds. If only they knew we never had them in the first place.
“Do not move.” Tommy warned and clicked his stopwatch. I lost interest in embarrassing fire crotch when the four pace laps the kids ran were completed, and the green flag was dropped. At this particular event, they allowed for a one-way receiver in the cars attached to the helmets that helped with safety for the kids.
“Green flag,” Tommy told Axel as the cars all raced toward the line.
If you have never been to a quarter midget race, you’re missing out for two reasons. The crazed parents and the little racers who couldn’t keep their cars on the track. They never could complete more than a lap or two without someone spinning themselves or someone else.
Not my little guy though, he kept his car straight, paid attention to the flags and other cars with the help of Tommy and even passed others. Their B-Main event was 20 laps—by lap 7, Axle was leading.
His fan club in front of us started cheering like crazy, even jumping up and down. I made sure I got them on the video for Jameson.
“I think he’s gonna pull this off.” Tommy nodded with a smile when Axel took the white flag.
I could hardly control my excitement, handed the camera to Ami and started cheering just as loudly as the kids for him.
“Go buddy go!” I yelled acting like a complete idiot.
Everyone cheered. “Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of the Jr. Animal 120 class, Axel Riley!”
Quickly, I sent a text to Jameson and Alley letting them know he’d be in the A-Main tomorrow. I knew Jameson was in the car right now so I figured Alley would tell him.
Later that night Emma, Nancy, Ami and me along with Tommy took all the kids out for Pizza. I took some time to step out and call Jameson to see if he’d be able to make it tomorrow since he didn’t reply to my text.
“Hey honey,” he answered in a low voice. I could hear the faint sounds of engines revving in the background and assumed they were making some changes to the car.
“How’d qualifying go?” I already knew he got third based on ESPN playing in the restaurant but I always asked.
“Got third...we’re changing out the gears though, hopefully that will make it better.” He told me. “How’s Axel?”
“He’s missing you. He keeps asking when you will see the video of him in the B-Main.”
“How about tomorrow?”
“What?”
“Tomorrow...what time does the main start?”
“The Jr. Animal 120 main starts at ten.”
Jameson was silent for a moment before he covered the phone with his hand and yelled for Alley. “Can Wes get me there by ten?”
“Yes, he will have you there anytime you need.”
“Really?” I asked. Not only would Axel be pumped but so was I.
Jameson thanked her and then asked, “What hotel are you in?”
“Radisson Garden Inn,” I told him. “Are you coming tonight?”
“I think I will. That way I can spend more time with you guys and then be back in time for happy hour Saturday afternoon.”
We ended our call soon after that when it got too loud for me to hear him. He asked me not to tell the kids he was coming—he wanted to surprise them.
When Axel saw all the kids who raced with him today, with their dads, it took all I had not to tell him.
You don’t really see the strain our lifestyles put on everyone until you see it in the eyes of our children. They didn’t deserve it but they took the brunt of it.
Later that night most of us were back in the suite getting ready for bed when Arie was telling Axel a very detailed description of her encounter with a spider earlier in the day. He wasn’t nearly as into it as she was but Casten thought it was funny—he thought everyone was funny.
“It was really big!” Arie motioned with her hand in a circle that I’m sure a whale could stick his head through. There was no way the spider was that big and if there was, I would never return.
Axel, who was brushing his teeth, spit in the sink and wiped his mouth with his hand. “I’m sure.” He replied with a roll of his eyes.
For being five, he had quite the attitude, much like his father.
Casten walked up to me and handed me his diaper he had removed. “Ucky,”
“Monkey, you need to keep this on. I don’t want you...” I didn’t finish the words before I felt the little trickle of pee down my bare calf.
“I’m not a fire hydrant kid!” I told him picking up my laughing little monkey. He’d be two in January so I knew potty training was nowhere close to the light, but I still hoped since he wouldn’t keep his damn diaper on. Axel was nearly three before he was completely potty trained and Arie was two. So far, every child was different but with Casten, he was in no rush. He just liked to have fun and taking off his diaper and peeing on people was funny to him.
Right before I put the kids to bed, there was a knock on the door. I smiled and looked over at Axel who was pulling his blankets up over his chest. Lily crawled into bed beside. “Hey, where did you come from?” I didn’t remember Lily coming into our room.
“My mommy said I could sleep here.”
“Oh did she...?”
What a traitor. She knew I already had three in this suite with me and now she’s adding to the madness. Ami thought it was funny watching me parent. A lot of people did. I couldn’t understand what they found so entertaining about it, probably because I had no idea what I was doing.
The person at the door knocked again, I figured it was Jameson so I looked over at Axel. “Why don’t you go get the door buddy?”
He didn’t hesitate before he bolted out of bed with Lily behind him.
“Who are you?” Axel asked when the door opened.
Who are you? Surely, that wasn’t Jameson. Nervous who was knocking on our door, I walked toward the door.
Before I could make it around the corner, the man answered. “I’m Gab, is your mommy in here?”
“Gab who?” Axel asked, I giggled when I came around the corner to see Axel with one hand securely around Lily and the other holding the door from opening any further. My strong little boy.
“Gab Kinney,”
“We don’t know a Gab Kinney.”
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The man sighed and looked in our room. “Is your mommy here or not?”
I didn’t like his tone, not at all. It was demanding and no one was demanding to my kids unless I said so. I did not say so to this Gab, who I’d never met before. I quickly dialed Van and then hung up when he answered. This was our silent way of letting him know we needed him. Like I said, Van was never far from me and the kids—he had the room next to us.
“I’m his mommy...who are you?” I saw Van appear behind him in the doorway.
This Gab fellow looked relieved to see an adult but hadn’t noticed Van watching behind him. He looked around the same age as me, maybe a few years older. Dark hair, tan, brown eyes, almost appeared to be Mexican or at least someone in his family was Mexican.
Gab smiled. “I’m Gab Kinney—a representative with A-Tech. I’d like to speak with you about maybe sponsoring your son here.”
Axel smiled and looked back at Gab. “Well then come in.”
I stopped him before this. “I’m sorry...I’d rather you speak with my husband about anything to do with his sponsorship. JAR Racing is the primary sponsor but I’m sure they would be willing to explore others.”
Van came into the room behind Gab. “Oh,” Gab looked between Van and me. “Is this your husband?”
“No,” I told him. “My husband is Jameson Riley, I’m sure you’ve heard of him.”
Gab looked confused. “No, actually I haven’t.”
He’s either lying about knowing Jameson or lying about being a representative with A-Tech, a company that designed titanium engine parts. Surely, being in racing, or at least representing a company that was so heavily involved in USAC, he should know who Jameson Riley was.
Van seemed to sense the same confusion I felt and stepped closer to Axel and Lily standing by the door. Axel had been in enough of these situations with us in the past and he knew to stay next to Van.
“What’s going on in here?” Jameson asked peeking his head inside the door. His eyes scanned the room cautiously.
“Daddy!” Axel yelled and ran toward him. Jameson caught him in his arms with a smile, his brow furrowed as he looked over at this Gab guy standing next to me. “Who are you?”
Gab looked nervous and reached out to offer his hand to Jameson. “I’m uh...Gab with...A...Tech.”
They shook hands, Jameson held on to Axel moving closer to me.
Van picked up Lily. I was thankful our other two had already fallen asleep and weren’t running out here to see what was happening.
“Gab huh...what happened to Wayne?”
“Wayne?”
Jameson handed Axel to me. “Yeah,” he stepped closer to Gab. “A-Tech has been an associate sponsor of my cup team and sprint car team for the last two years.” He let out a chuckle. “Wayne Matson is their representative that I’ve dealt with. So my question is...who are you and what are you doing in my hotel room?” Jameson’s voice was hard and demanding.
Van simply stood aside holding Lily with a smirk on his face. Van may be the bodyguard for us but if I would be afraid of anyone in any situation; it would be Jameson, hands-down.
Sure Van had Jameson on size. Hell, he even had Spencer and Jimi on size. What most failed to realize with Jameson was his brash temperament that left you wondering when and how he’d react.
“I don’t know Wayne, but I am a representative with A-Tech. They asked me to see about sponsoring him.” Gab pointed toward Axel.
Jameson simply nodded, his eyes focused on Van’s for a brief moment before he placed his hand on Gab’s back. “Let’s talk outside.”
Gab agreed and looked over to me. “It was nice meeting you, Sway.”
I smiled politely as a chill ran down my spine. I never once told him my name.
Van handed Lily over to me just as I heard Jameson’s voice raise slightly.
“If you know what’s good for you...you’ll walk away right now?” Van warned Gab as I pushed the kids toward the bedroom.
“Mama...who was that man?” Axel asked. His eyes were nervous.
“Nobody buddy...daddy will be back in a minute.”
Sure enough, Jameson came back inside not more than two minutes later.
“Hey buddy.” He whispered toward him trying not to wake Arie and Casten. “Let’s watch that heat race.”
Two hours later, it was close to midnight and poor Axel fell asleep with Jameson on the couch. Lily was on the floor with me as we watched Axel’s race on replay.
As quietly as I could I took Axel and Lily back into the bedroom with Arie and Casten. Amazingly, they stayed asleep, even when I nearly dropped Axel on top of Lily.
When I made my way back into the living room of the suite, Jameson wasn’t there.
“Jameson?” I whispered and then heard him laugh quietly.
“In here, honey.
Turning around I saw him lying in the bed already. Smiling like a fool, I was out of my clothes and closing the door all in under a minute. “What happened with that guy?”
His eyes seemed guarded. “How often does that sort of thing happen?”
“You mean random people wanting to sponsor our son?”
“No...” his hand moved from my hip to touch my cheek, his eyes focused intently on mine. “How often do people get past security in the lobby to your room?”
“Security in the lobby? I wasn’t aware there was any?”
He chuckled softly and let his hand fall from my cheek, he pulled me closer. “There is always security in the lobby of any hotel you or our kids stay at.”
“Oh,”
“This hotel however...we won’t be staying here again for that reason. He shouldn’t have been up here.”
“Who was he?”
“Van’s going to look into it but he definitely doesn’t work for A-Tech. I called them and they’d never heard of him.”
“Jesus,” I panicked. “I let Axel answer the door thinking it was you!”
He nodded. “We do need to be more careful. Axel is getting a following now and whether we like it or not, he’s a target. If someone doesn’t like me as a driver, well they might take it out on him.”
I knew that already. We experienced that when Axel raced in the Western District Qualifier in March. When Axel outran his kid on the track, the kid’s dad took his frustrations by screaming at Axel about Jameson and his temper. It was something all of our kids would be facing having Jameson Riley as their father.
My mood for sex was ruined with the thought that my little spaz children were in danger.
Jameson sighed, the guarded expression returned and kissed my forehead before pulling back to look at me. “He was looking for you.”
“Why though.”
“We don’t know yet but Van caught onto it when he only said goodbye to you .”
“Yeah...I never told him my name.”
“That’s not why.” Jameson blinked slowly. “Just like our kids, you’re a target as well. You’re very attractive and in the public eye. They see you and they see...opportunity.”
He didn’t need to say anymore, I knew what he was insinuating. This wasn’t the first time I’d been cornered by men even after Darrin. There had been a handful of various men over the years who had come on to me or saw that I was Jameson’s wife and tried their luck. I don’t know what it was but when men found out I was married to Jameson, they tested their luck. Maybe it was some kind of bragging rights if I paid interest to them, I don’t know but it was all part of this lifestyle we had. Paying no mind, I ignored them and the fact that it was even happening for the simple reason that it didn’t bother me. I knew from the very beginning when I committed myself to Jameson and his career choice this was a possibility. To have him, I’d endure anything.
Yellow Line – Jameson
“What’s the air pressure in the right rear?” I asked Tommy handing him the gauge.
“Jameson, can my son get your autograph?”
Keep your cool. I told myself. I had to say this a lot this
morning. All I wanted to do was help get my son’s car ready to go, but the fans here had another idea when they saw me in the pits this morning. I signed autographs, took pictures, talked to reporters...I had done everything this morning but what I came for which was to see family and to see my son race.
The right rear of Axel’s car kept losing psi as it sat on the grid so Tommy changed it out while I signed yet another autograph.
“Daddy?” Axel called out as the horn sounded for the kids to report to their cars. “Can you push me off?” Tommy usually pushed him off on the starts and re-starts if needed but when I was around, I made sure I was the one to do this for him. Another fan approached us and I shook my head. “I’m sorry, not right now. My son is about to start his main event. Catch me after the main and I’ll sign anything you want.”
The woman who had approached us simply smiled and walked away.
“Of course I will buddy.” I knelt beside Axel’s car as he adjusted all his straps and pulled his helmet on. “Now remember, stay focused. One car at a time,”
They inverted the field again, since Axel had transferred up through the mains, he was starting fourth. “I will be talking to you through the radio in your ear. I’m just going to tell you when a caution comes out and when it’s green again, okay?”
He nodded; the fear in his eyes evident. “Do you get nervous?” he asked.
I had to think for a moment because no, I didn’t really get nervous anymore. There are times when I would say I’m anxious to race, but nervous, no. But I knew the feeling and I remembered from when I was his age and even older during the time I traveled around. Sure I was nervous back then.
“When I was your age...yes,” I finally told him when I saw Lily skipping over. “But you know what my dad told me?”
“What?” I saw what Sway was referring to when she told me Axel hung on my every word. Here he was, holding on to any piece of advice I could offer him in this moment.
“Take one lap at a time, one car at a time.”
Axel smiled up at me and then looked at Lily. His bright green eyes sparkled as she sported a t-shirt that said: Axel Riley’s fan club. She then spun around to show him that back that had his number and underneath it said number one fan.
