by Tina Donahue
At last, he said, “She was sweet, giving and very bright.”
Toni swallowed at the pain she heard in his voice. His accompanying sigh nicked her heart.
He cleared his throat, his eyes avoiding hers. When he spoke again, his tone was even, emotion buried. “I met her in Phoenix while I was at technical school. On the side, I took some business courses at the university so I could run my own shop someday. We had the same business law class.”
He paused briefly, finally continuing in the same steady voice, as though he were a spectator, not a participant in his own past. “She was studying hotel management and graduated with honors. She often talked about going for a Masters. Both of her parents have MBAs. They’re very well respected in the Phoenix business community.”
“They sound like my dad,” Toni boasted, suddenly unable to stop. “He was an accountant. A CPA to be exact, with his own business.”
Zach’s head snapped to her. Beneath his surprise, he appeared to be waiting for more.
Heart racing at what she’d foolishly revealed, Toni didn’t offer anything else. She’d only wanted him to know that before she’d turned fifteen, she’d had an upbringing similar to his and Meg’s. Despite her current lifestyle and financial situation, she wasn’t that different from either of them. She wasn’t less.
To block any questions he might have, she asked casually, “So after school you guys decided to move down here?”
He made a turn and nodded. “We thought it would be a good place for me to start a business and for us to eventually raise a family.”
Her mind pictured him with a little boy, the kid’s eyes big, his questions frequent and fascinated at what went on in his dad’s garage.
Renewed longing for that kind of life—for him—cramped Toni’s heart, her emotions both stupid and futile. But there they were, subduing her tone. “She was good with kids, huh?”
Zach’s gaze turned inward as though he was recalling a memory of her. “She has a younger sister, Allison, that she doted on.” He smiled sadly. “Ten years separated them, so Meg always treated that kid more as her own baby than a sibling.”
“You still miss her.” It was a statement, not a question.
He flicked his turn signal and made the next right. “I blame myself for what happened.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
Frowning, he swung his head to her. “You weren’t there.”
“I know.” Toni softened her voice even further. “But you weren’t texting, Zach. The kid who caused the accident was.”
His fingers tightened around the steering wheel. “Angel or Robbie talks too fucking much when they should be working.”
“Don’t blame them. I asked. I wanted to know how you’d hurt your leg,” she admitted at his surprised expression. “They didn’t want to tell me, but I pressed. The accident wasn’t your fault.”
He blew out an angry sigh. “If I hadn’t insisted on one last run, it wouldn’t have happened.”
“You were going about your business that night. You had no idea you were putting either of you in harm’s way. That’s not how you wanted your life to turn out. That’s not how it should have. If I could change it for you, I would. I’m so sorry.”
His frustration and anger hung on for a moment more, then subsided. Shoulders slumping, losing his frown, he concentrated on his driving.
“You still miss her,” Toni said again. Wanting the truth no matter how brutal, no matter how she failed to measure up to his memory of a woman he could no longer have.
Not answering, possibly wanting to spare her any comparisons, Zach drove in silence.
They reached the road leading to his house, his lost future, the continuation of their time together.
It wasn’t what either of them ultimately desired. He needed the past. She craved a future. Nevertheless, Toni told herself to be grateful for what she had, determined to be all she could to him in their remaining days. To ease his loss to the best of her ability, even if he didn’t welcome it as much as he would another chance with Meg.
Zach’s gut churned as Toni’s comment kept badgering his thoughts.
You still miss her.
How in the fuck was he supposed to answer such a personal comment from a woman he’d just met? One he barely knew. One who’d already become such a large part of his life Zach was beginning to fear what the coming weeks would be without her.
You still miss her.
Hell yeah, he still missed Meg, a part of him always would. But even with that, Toni’s smile, laughter, sass were crowding out the past, dragging him into the here and now.
At least until she left.
Stewing over its inevitability, he said nothing, nor did she, with him concentrating on the road and her thinking about god knows what.
My dad was an accountant, a CPA to be exact, with his own business.
Where in the hell had that come from? Why had she offered it when she refused to tell him anything else about her past? Like how she’d ended up with the Starrs, people who seemed to live on the fringe of society, so fucking different than her father, a normal middle-class provider.
Had he been into drink or drugs? Had their lives spiraled down because of his addiction to alcohol, coke or meth? Was that what had killed him? And what of her mother? Had her dad and mom divorced? If they had and he’d been given sole custody of Toni, he wouldn’t have jeopardized her future with substance abuse, right?
Mulling it over, wondering what the private investigator had come up with so far, Zach pulled in front of the house.
Toni unfastened her seat belt and rested her hand on his thigh, her soft, warm fingers stroking the denim’s inside seam. “Time to relax.”
Her smoky tone and sultry touch pushed away all the bad memories, jump-starting his lust. Balls tightening, heart pounding, he looked from her slender fingers to her.
Tenderness and harsh need sparkled in her blue-green eyes. She leaned toward him, her mouth on his ear, her voice breathy. “Let me take care of you tonight.”
Zach’s lids slid down. Liking her suggestion, his body and soul needing it, he asked, “How?” His voice scraped on the word.
“You’ll see.” She pressed her lips to his cheek in a gentle kiss, popped her door and left the pickup without further comment.
Too limp to move, Zach watched her bypass the front steps and go around the yard to the back. What in the fuck was she doing?
He tossed her saddlebag on the porch and went around the side of the house, favoring his good leg as always. Abruptly, he stopped at the sight of her black flip-flops in the center of the flagstone walk. Gritting his teeth to the expected pain, Zach hunkered down near them and searched for her toe ring, wondering if she’d taken it off too.
Unable to find the jewelry, he glanced up, seeing something black in the corner of his eye. Head turned, he squinted at what looked to be her denim cutoffs.
She’d dropped them on top of one of the bushes he’d planted more than two years ago…a lifetime away. Bringing the garment to his face, Zach closed his eyes, rubbing the softened cotton on his cheek, suppressing an uncivilized groan as he inhaled deeply of her musk and lavender scent.
Something inside Zach shifted. He became aware of emptiness so needy and deep, he feared it would never stop no matter how long he enjoyed Toni. It might only become worse, his craving for her intolerable, unending. Wanting to flee his feelings, desperate to stay and feed them, he continued down the path, her shorts beneath his arm, his mind picturing her naked ass and tattoo.
Desire tore through him. He really liked her tattoo. He really liked her.
A new surge of wanting stole his breath at what he now saw. She’d upended the rake, leaning it against the side of the house. Dangling from one of its tines was her hot pink tank top. Carefully, Zach removed the garment, shoving it beneath his arm, next to her shorts.
His thrumming pulse and stiffened cock urged him to hurry down the path, to sink himself within her hot, silky cu
nt. His mind resisted, advising him to slow down, to make this last, to record each memory for later when he’d be out here alone.
At the unwelcome thought, melancholy gripped him, halting his steps. Head down, breathing as deeply as he could, Zach warned himself to cool it, to reason this out, to simply have a good time.
Toni was still a stranger…a woman whose power over him was spiraling out of control. Already he longed for as little as a glance from her, and as much as her cry of delight—unique, meant only for him, no other man—as he plunged inside her succulent, willing body.
Were those feelings ensnaring him only because their lovemaking was still so new, so satisfying?
He didn’t know. Nor did he want to explore any other explanation.
Reaching the end of the walk before it opened onto the patio, he stared, then grinned. She’d draped her bra over the Victorian-style bird feeder. He stuffed the item in his back pocket and didn’t bother searching for her panties or a thong, knowing she never wore either. Because she didn’t own underwear or she simply went without around him?
His foolish heart hoped it was the latter.
As he turned the corner, he noticed one of the lawn ornaments—a small stone frog—on top of the picnic table. Drawing near, he saw Lucky and Belle’s picture peeking out from beneath the frog’s hind legs, anchored against the gentle breeze.
It played with the ends of Zach’s hair, dancing them over his forehead. He turned to the pool and stopped breathing as his heart staggered through too many beats.
Floating on her back, fully nude except for her toe ring, Toni gave him a welcoming smile. The kind a man needs following a shitty day at work or after a tragedy that crushes him into not expecting happiness or peace.
He swallowed hard before too much emotion bubbled up. His gaze trickled down her. Water licked the sides of her breasts and thighs, filling her navel, sparkling in the dark curls between her legs. Lucky water.
She murmured, “Let me take care of you tonight.”
Zach used a moment to calm down so he could trust his voice. “How?”
“You’ll see. Take off your clothes.”
Her encouraging smile convinced him faster than any command or outright seduction. He dropped her things on the flagstones and backed up to the cedar table, sitting on the plank seat to remove his boots and socks.
Finished, he tore off his tee, flinging it to land on her things. Ignoring the pain in his leg, he pushed to his feet, shoved his jeans and Jockeys to his ankles and stepped out of them. Fully aroused, his cock bobbed against his thigh. It should have captured his attention, but did not. Even at this hour, the day’s light was still too harsh, too revealing, so unlike the soft glow from a candlelit bedroom or bath. Doubt returned as Zach glanced at his leg.
Deep purple gouges crisscrossed his tanned flesh, showing where the pickup’s metal had gored him. More refined scars, these a fading red, revealed the many operations so he could walk again. The contours of his left thigh and calf weren’t as muscular as those of his right. One of the physicians had warned they might never be.
Until Toni, Zach hadn’t really cared. Now he did. Cautiously, he lifted his eyes to hers.
Her gaze caressed his torso, groin, cock and bum leg, as though it was simply another part of her journey. No frown marred her smooth forehead. He didn’t see revulsion in her eyes at the brutal defects he and the rest of the world noticed.
Her attention inched back up to his shaft, causing it to thicken a bit more, showing off for her.
In the seclusion of their surroundings, with no one else around for miles, her voice seemed little more than a whisper. “My god, you are so damn beautiful.”
Zach nearly laughed with relief. In gratitude, he wanted to cry. Swallowing quickly, he shoved sentiment back as her gaze lifted.
Tenderness, mingled with a craving as deep as his, brimmed in her eyes. Treading water now, she inclined her head to the shallow part of the pool. “Follow me.”
Zach’s cheeks hurt from his nutty grin. “You want to make love in the pool?”
Toni swam until she was able to stand in the water. Walking through it, making splashing sounds, she stopped at the edge, submerged to the waist. Arms crossed over the nicely warmed concrete, she looked at him from beneath her lashes. Tiny beads of moisture sparkled on the ends. “I want to massage your leg.”
Instantly, Zach’s grin faded. “Why?”
“So it doesn’t hurt as much. So you can enjoy me taking care of you.”
“Let’s just get on with the program.” He lied, “It doesn’t hurt at all.”
“Sure it does.” She fingered sodden hair from her cheek and neck. “You’ve been working all day.”
“So have you. I should be massaging your feet and legs. You’ve been on them for eight hours.”
Resting her head on her arms, she cocked one slender brow. “That’s because I’m not as lazy as you.”
His laughter rang through the backyard. “You are so going to pay for that.”
“Oh yeah?” Her nostrils flared delicately with her sharp intake of air. “Gonna spank me ‘til I obey?”
More laughter shook his shoulders. “Oh sweetheart, I think my arm will give out before that happens. But tell you what, I’ll give it my best shot.”
Pleasure glittered in her eyes. She gentled her voice. “Do as I ask, just this once.”
“This once?” Zach recalled her asking for a job he hadn’t expected to give, and sex he’d tried to avoid and a connection he still figured he should resist.
“Please?”
Unguarded yearning echoed in her voice, increasing the moment’s intimacy. Powerless to resist, he padded to the shallow end of the pool, making certain no pain showed on his face as he sank down. Sitting on the edge of the toasty concrete, his feet and ankles dangling in the water, he insisted, “It doesn’t hurt.”
Toni studied his face. For a moment, Zach thought he saw tears welling in her eyes. Glancing away, concentrating on his thigh, she murmured, “I know.”
Lightly, she rested her fingers on his battered flesh.
His muscles jumped. He flinched slightly.
“It’s okay,” she assured, her voice soothing and low. Pressing her thumbs into his thigh, she rotated them gently. “Does that feel good?”
He choked out his words. “Hell yeah.”
“How about this?” She lowered her head, pressing her mouth to the inside of his thigh, just above his knee.
His feet slapped water. A sigh poured from him. “Uh-huh.”
“Good.” With an adoring touch, Toni kneaded the uninjured part of his leg, while she licked the shockingly deep scars, bathing them with her tongue, wanting him to know she enjoyed each part of him. There wasn’t an inch of his body, mind or being she didn’t love.
She squeezed her lids tight at her heart’s admission, the depth of her feelings for him.
Don’t go there, her mind warned. Just enjoy yourself. Give him some measure of happiness.
She licked the short dark hairs on his upper thigh, smiling inwardly as he crossed his calves over her legs, keeping her close, claiming her for the moment.
Inching higher, her tongue reached the thicker hair on the inside of his thigh beside his groin.
Briefly, his body stiffened, as though she’d surprised or amazed him. On an uninhibited moan, he sagged to the concrete, his left arm above his head, his right draped over his eyes.
Continuing to knead his muscles, she pressed her face into his groin, enjoying his musky male scent and heated flesh.
Zach’s breath sputtered out. He groaned, “Suck me.”
Toni licked his wiry hairs one last time, lifted her head and murmured, “I need to massage your leg.”
“It’s fine, dammit.” His voice crackled with tension and thickened with desire. “Suck my cock. That’s what hurts.”
She heard the truth of it in his jagged breathing. Obediently, she stopped kneading his muscles and caressed his meaty rod in h
er palm, testing its weight, staring at its beauty. Ruddy with arousal, the thick column of flesh pulsed with male power and life. Prominent veins coursed down the shaft, ending at the cap, smooth, silky, tantalizingly plump. A bead of clear fluid, his pre-cum, escaped the tiny slit.
Head bent, tongue snaking out of her mouth, Toni licked it away.
Zach’s legs bumped into her sides. What breath he’d managed to take escaped him noisily.
Pleased with his response, stirred beyond restraint, Toni eased his penis aside and concentrated on his balls, lightly furred, tumid with need, tight against his body. Her scalp tingled in delight at the wonder of him. Need, rich and deep, rippled through her as she eased his right testicle between her lips.
Zach spat out a curse. His lean hips jerked.
Unmindful, Toni slipped him inside her mouth, her tongue exploring his male terrain, the faint hairs, the oblong gland inside his sac, his body’s intense heat.
He brought down his hand, pushing his fingers through her hair, cupping the back of her head. Toni expected him to force her away from his balls so she could tend to his cock. Instead, he used the weight of his hand to anchor her to him.
Releasing his right testicle, she gave all of her love to his left.
He groaned loudly. Uncrossing his legs, he pulled them up. Water splashed. It poured down his calves to the concrete as he rested the heels of his feet on the lip of the pool.
Toni ran her fingers up the seam of his ass.
A sound more animal than human poured from him. He cut it off, struggling for air.
Relentlessly, she stole it, releasing his gland, taking his cock into her mouth, driving it to the back of her throat, nearly as far as it could go.
Obvious surprise ripped a gasp from him. Contentment followed, producing a prolonged moan.
Enjoying the sound, loving it like nothing she’d heard before, Toni swept her tongue down his length, easing him from her mouth. His hand fell away from her head, dropping to the side.
In her peripheral vision, Toni saw Zach fisting his fingers. Between her lips only his crown remained, a delicious mouthful. She flicked the tip of her tongue over the tiny slit, tasting the salty fluid and his passion.
