by Tina Donahue
Toni let out a guttural moan. Her ass left the table, bringing her cunt closer to his mouth.
Taking full advantage, Zach licked her clit, enjoying its faint saltiness, the flavor of her and of him from last night’s passion. Not to be outdone, she cupped his balls in her free hand and drew his rigid cock inside her mouth.
Lids fluttering, he muttered an oath. To it, she responded by taking him even deeper.
Her mouth, greedy and loving, embraced him, its heat and moisture destroying his concentration. Several moments passed before Zach managed a bit of control. Even then, as he tongued her clit, she tongued the back of his crown, its sensitivity matching that of her nub. As one, they aroused each other, delaying climax, indulging in an act both salacious and oddly sacred.
When Zach came, his climax produced a shout of relief that sounded like a request for more.
And Toni gave it to him. She delivered herself fully.
Well into the morning, they played…they loved…on the lawn, in the pool, back on the front porch, stopping only when their growling bellies tamped down their lust.
As they ate a late breakfast, Zach noticed Toni’s increasingly pensive mood. He wanted to attribute it to fatigue, but knew better. Mischief and the sparkle he loved no longer registered in her eyes, the same as last night, as though she were pulling away from him earlier than he’d planned.
He fought for the right words to say in the hope of recapturing their earlier joy. Instead, he recalled what she’d said as this all began.
This isn’t about my past. It’s about here and now. You and me. Having some fun. Then I take off. No harm done. You go back to your life. I go back to mine.
As if reading his thoughts, she finished the last piece of bacon and pushed away from the table. “We better shower and get dressed.” She used an impassive tone, the kind reserved for a stranger. “We have to go to the sheriff’s for my license.”
“Come on,” Robbie said, his voice uncharacteristically subdued so as not to be overheard. “It’s Angel’s birthday. You gotta help me celebrate with him tonight.”
Avoiding an immediate answer, Toni finished writing her work order. She’d picked up her license a week ago. During that time, she’d gotten her first paycheck. With the money she’d wired to Lucky and Belle and what she’d been forced to use for the cheapo insurance that wasn’t cheap at all, she didn’t have much left to blow, especially on a party.
After her next and last paycheck, there was still her bike to get out, gas and food to buy for her trip out of Indulgence, the money she’d need for an inexpensive hotel or the Y before she returned to the circuit and got back to her life.
Away from here. Far from Zach.
Hopelessness and anguish washed over her so quickly, Toni had to lean against an SUV to hide her dizziness. Not once since she’d been a scared, homeless kid had she allowed herself this kind of weakness or grief. It was too unnerving, too daunting. In those early days, she’d had to be strong.
Toni wasn’t certain she could do it again now.
She loved Zach, powerless to deny her feelings any longer.
She’d liked him from the first when he’d bought her breakfast at Em and Hector’s, treating her with respect, behaving as though she mattered. The pain he’d gone through in losing Meg endeared him to her even more. Never had she felt anything as powerful for another man. She’d allowed other guys to get close in order to quiet her gnawing loneliness. She’d slept with a few so she might feel connected to another human being, at least for a moment.
When it came to Zach, Toni carried him with her at all times, recalling his scent, touch, the impressive thunder of his voice, his impassioned and endearing caress.
“Come on,” Robbie repeated, breaking into her thoughts. “I’ll buy,” he added finally.
Toni heard the reluctance in his voice. Forcing a smile, she said, “You have your girlfriend to think about, not me.”
“She can’t come.” He curled his upper lip in disgust. “They got her on the night shift at the hospital’s laundry. It’ll just be you, me and Angel.”
“You’re not inviting Zach?”
“I tried. He said he had stuff to do tonight.”
With her. Yet only for a little while longer. The end of her stay was approaching quickly, the days speeding by. Toni pressed the tip of her pen so hard against the work order the paper tore. Pulling the instrument away, she told herself she was a fool for hanging on to something that couldn’t be. There was no choice except to move on.
“Sure, I’ll go,” she said. Better to spend the time with Angel and Robbie than alone with Zach, wanting him more with each passing second. Desiring him endlessly, hopelessly.
Zach punched in the third digit of the investigator’s phone number. At just that moment, Toni came inside his office.
Hanging up, he met her gaze.
Quickly, she averted hers and closed the door, then went to his desk. With her attention on the stack of paid invoices next to his computer, she spoke in a low voice. “The guys invited me out tonight. I’ll be leaving here with them.” Rapping the accounts twice with her knuckles, she turned to leave.
“Wait a sec,” Zach said.
A moment passed before she faced him, her expression masked, her thoughts unknown.
Zach stopped himself from frowning and kept his voice as neutral as hers. “You’re going to Angel’s birthday party?”
“It’s not really a party, just him, Robbie and me. Don’t worry,” she said, taking a step toward his desk, while remaining out of his reach. So unlike this morning when she’d crawled all over him in bed and the shower. “I wasn’t planning on having them take me back to your place. They don’t know what went on between us, nor will they. I’ll have them drop me off here. I’ll spend the night on your couch.” She swung her hand in its direction. “I’ll claim I have a headache and my noisy neighbors will only make it worse.”
Finished, she backed away.
“Hold it,” Zach said, her words replaying in his mind. What went on between us. Not what was going on. She’d used past, not present tense. “You’re not staying in here,” he said.
At his sharp tone, her brows edged together.
Zach didn’t care. If she wanted a fight, he’d give her one. “I’m working late,” he said. “When they drop you off here, I’ll take you back home.”
“Your home,” she said.
Where the fuck else? “I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“I may be very late.”
Jaw clenched, he looked back at his computer screen, not really seeing it. “No matter when you come back, I will be here. We’ll be going back to my place.”
Without further argument, she left.
Zach frowned at the blinds clacking against the window, the thought of Toni spending the night with anyone else, the way she kept pulling away from him. No matter what she thought, they weren’t through with each other. They still had some time and he intended to enjoy it.
No matter what it took, he was going to know about her and, if necessary, help her before she left Indulgence.
Ignoring his sinking heart, he grabbed the phone’s receiver, punched in the investigator’s number and interrupted the receptionist’s “how-can-I-help-you” spiel.
“Zach Brody,” he said, “I need to talk to Ms. Anunciata now.”
Within a minute, she came on the line. “I just sent you an email, Mr. Brody.”
His pulse quickened at the satisfaction he heard in her voice. “You found something out?”
“It’s in the email.”
“Hold on,” he said, “let me get into it.” He logged onto his Yahoo! account and stared at the name in the subject line of her email. His mouth went so dry, Zach wasn’t certain he could speak.
“It’s there, correct?” she asked.
He ran his tongue around his mouth, then spoke cautiously. “Yeah.”
In his mind, Zach repeated the last name in the subject line, Toni’s surname, so di
fferent than Starr. His eyes got moist, even as he smiled. The name fit her…if it was hers. “You’re sure about this?” He dropped the volume of his voice another notch. “That it’s her, I mean.”
“Everything matches.”
Zach swallowed. He frowned quickly. “You didn’t ask Lucky or Belle or any of their friends about—”
She interrupted, “You asked me not to and I honored your request. We researched her records at the DMV—the department of motor vehicles. She got her first license as Toni Starr when she was sixteen. We figured she must have been with Belle and Lucky for at least a little while before she began to use their last name. We checked old newspaper stories about them to see where they were performing prior to her getting the license. We were able to trace them back to a number of places, including Seattle.”
Zach’s gaze moved to his door leading into the bays. He thought about Toni’s pale skin, so unusual in southern Arizona or the part of Texas where she’d gotten her last license. Not so in rainy Seattle where being deeply tan would have been an anomaly.
The investigator continued, “Using her date of birth and first name, we were able to locate the records for her permit when she was fifteen. We cross-checked what we found there with the names of CPAs in the area at that time. You did say her dad had been a CPA.” Not waiting for his answer, she said, “We found a match. Her father died of a heart attack when she was fourteen.”
Fingers rubbing his temple, Zach asked, “What about her mother? Where was she when Toni left home?”
“It’s all in the report.”
A few minutes ago, Zach couldn’t have been more eager to know everything about her. Now reluctance pulled him back, along with fear that he’d discover something he wouldn’t be able to fix, a hurt so deep he wouldn’t be able to comfort her.
“Is her mother still alive?” he asked.
“She is.” The investigator paused, adding finally, “So is Joe Bauchmann.”
Chapter Thirteen
Angel’s thick fingers tapped the second of six photographs near Toni’s plate. Leaning close, he pitched his voice so she could hear him above the pizza parlor’s jukebox and rowdy teens. “In this one,” he said, his tone holding a mixture of wonder and pride, “Ernesto’s watching his first football game with me.”
Toni smiled at the four-month-old baby propped against Angel’s burly torso in a living room stuffed with mismatched furniture. The child had a surprisingly thick mop of dark hair and wore a jumpsuit with the insignia of Angel’s favorite team.
“He’s beautiful,” she murmured.
Angel beamed.
Robbie downed his Bud and burped. “Ain’t no way I’m ever getting a girl pregnant and letting her take my kid, then have her screw me for child support when I can’t even live with him.”
“Sometimes things happen,” Angel said gently, “stuff you can’t predict.”
Robbie snorted. “That’s why they invented condoms.”
“Even if you use them, they don’t always work,” Toni explained, hoping to get Robbie to back off. Before he could think of another verbal jab, she picked up Ernesto’s picture taken at Easter. The stuffed blue bunny plopped next to the boy was three times his size and capturing his attention completely. “How old is he here?”
Talking around the pizza in his mouth, Angel told her—to the day and hour—adding, “He’s big for his age. Doc says he’s one of the biggest boys he’s ever seen.”
“Takes after his daddy.” She smiled. “So, you hoping he follows in your footsteps?”
He wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand and reached for his beer. “You mean being big like me? Sure.”
Toni warned herself not to laugh. Angel was such a sweet, unassuming guy, she’d kick herself before hurting his feelings or making him feel foolish. “What I meant is—do you want him to become a mechanic like you?”
“Oh hell no.” He leaned back in his chair, resting his beer bottle on his meaty thigh. “My kid’s going to college, the very best, not one of the crappy community kinds around here. He’s gonna be a lawyer or a doctor. Something real good. I’m already saving for it. Each payday, the bank takes out money from my check and puts it into a college fund for Ernesto. By the time he’s eighteen he’ll be able to go to any school he wants.” He grinned. “Zach helped me set it up. Showed me what to do.”
Robbie rolled his eyes and helped himself to the last slice of pizza. “Zach keeps trying to talk me into getting a savings account. No fucking way. I’m still young. When I’m too old to do stuff I like, I’ll think about it.”
“It’ll be too damn late then,” Angel countered, then turned back to Toni. “Once you’ve been at the garage for a while and get certified like Robbie and me, you’ll be making more dough and you can talk to Zach about having your money work for you—that’s what he always says. I’m telling you, he knows that shit like nobody else. He’ll set you on the right course so you won’t have to work into your eighties, like Robbie’s gonna be doing.”
Offering a brief sneer, he swallowed his bite of pizza, finishing with a burp. “Least I’ll have good memories.”
“And that’s all you’ll have,” Angel warned, his gaze darting back to Toni. “I’m telling you, ask Zach for help after you get bumped up in pay. You’re real good at repairs. Shouldn’t take more than three months, at most, for you to get ready to be certified. I’ll help you prepare if you want.”
Toni forced a smile for Angel’s benefit. In three months, she’d not only be back on the circuit, but would have already been through Texas, Nebraska, Missouri, Ohio, heading toward the East Coast. There, she’d perform at more county fairs, sports events and celebrations, surrounded by strangers, spending her nights alone, trying not to remember Zach.
Her soul ached for him now, her heart missing him terribly even though they’d been apart no more than a few hours. If she hurt like this while still here, how in the hell was she going to live through the next weeks, months and years without him?
Rubbing his belly, Robbie added, “I’ll help too.”
Toni looked at him, even as she recalled Zach’s face the moment their eyes first met. The instant connection he hadn’t wanted and only succumbed to because she’d goaded him into it, asking if he didn’t know how to satisfy a woman.
He’d done that and so much more for her. He’d returned Toni’s dignity and a bit of hope during their time together.
Not that it could last. She fought tears, again telling herself she had to prepare for an inevitable departure, to accept it as she had so many other events in her life.
Running his hand down his face, Zach kept rereading Anunciata’s report and regarding the accompanying photos…some from old newspapers, reporting on the Starrs and Toni’s motorcycle performances. Others from school events Toni had participated in over the years.
He swallowed at the shot of her in a blue-and-white cheerleading costume for the middle school she’d attended. Probably thirteen at the time, she hadn’t yet developed her lush curves or adopted her shaggy hairstyle. With her black hair in a ponytail, she smiled for the camera, her youthful features sparkling with invincibility and joy. The kind only kids have, before something awful happens to shake their confidence in the sanity of the world.
His throat tightened with sorrow. He compared the cheerleading photo to the first one taken with her and the Starrs. Toni’s eyes weren’t the same in the second shot. In them, he saw sadness and uncertainty that didn’t jibe with her smile.
Belle and Lucky had taken her in, loved her, and for their kindness Zach would always be grateful, understanding finally what good people they were. Even so, they couldn’t replace her parents. No one could.
For the fourth time, he read Anunciata’s information on Toni’s mother. There was no police record of the woman having reported her child as a runaway or a possible victim of abduction.
We have concluded that she made no effort to locate her daughter, the file said.
Disbeli
ef and outrage gripped Zach in equal measure. He squeezed his fists so hard, his fingers hurt. How in the fuck could any mother turn her back on her own flesh and blood? A fifteen-year-old kid who deserved a home, a parent—to have someone take care of her, to be loved?
What excuse could the woman have possibly used to allow herself to sleep at night? Unlike her daughter’s daily struggles these past twelve years, Toni’s mother continued to lead an incredibly affluent life. One Toni had grown up in, attending the best private schools, coming home each day to a beautiful house in an upscale area of Seattle.
An upper middle-class existence that should have continued after her father’s untimely death.
Close to four million dollars had come into her mother’s hands from a combination of life insurance, the proceeds from the sale of the CPA firm and the value of the house. It wasn’t as though she couldn’t afford Toni.
Her daughter simply hadn’t mattered to her anymore when she began her new life, remarrying within eighteen months of her husband’s passing to a man named Joe Bauchmann.
Anger mounting, Zach scrolled down the screen, reading the information Anunciata had on him. After serving for years as a police officer in one of Seattle’s bedroom communities, he’d next gone on to run for and win a seat in county government. According to an unflattering commentary in one of the local newspapers, he’d stolen the election because he’d used his wife’s money to far outspend the other candidate.
Toni had been seventeen at the time. With no close relatives on either her mother or father’s side, she’d adopted the Starrs, becoming to Belle and Lucky what she thought they expected her to be. No doubt frightened that if she disappointed them in the least, she’d be alone again.
Zach fought emotion so deep it tightened his chest muscles, refusing him all except the scantest breath. Scrolling farther, he stopped on the last news article Anunciata had on Joe Bauchmann. It told Zach far more than he’d expected to find out and provided the last piece of the puzzle as to what had brought Toni to this point in time.
