They immediately caught on to that though.
“Oh damn – you really like this woman, don’t you? We can pull back,” Lincoln offered, while Braxton laughed.
“She must’ve really put it on you, cause I would’ve told anybody that your ass was married to this job, Dre,” he said. “I’m proud of you.”
My eyebrows shot up. “You are?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “We’re getting too old for the aloof bachelor shit. It was fun, yeah, but in my personal life? All I’m trying to do is keep my lady happy, and make some babies before all I’m putting out is dust,” he said. “If you’ve found somebody that makes you want that too, go for that shit man.”
I shook my head. “I’ve only even known who she really was for a couple of weeks. Last night was the first time we’ve held any real conversation.”
“I knew I was gonna make Eden my wife after the first fuck,” Braxton cackled. “Did I want to admit that shit? Hell no. But I knew.”
Beside him, Lincoln shrugged. “Same here. I didn’t even know if I’d ever see Willow again, after that night at the club, but… it felt like a loss. So when I recognized her in that elevator, I just knew. I had to make it happen while I had a chance.”
“Yeah, but y’all are talking about women you’ve been with for years now. You didn’t have this certainty back then, when the shit was fresh,” I argued.
“Of course not,” Braxton said. “At least I wasn’t trusting it. But I felt it. Against all the shit men aren’t “supposed” to feel or whatever. We’re not “supposed” to talk about the shit, sitting around chatting about our feelings like a bunch of broads. But whatever man, we family. We went through similar shit, so we can tell you – if you’re feeling her, don’t fuck it up.”
“Is this where we’re supposed to hug or something now?”
“Fuck you Lincoln,” Braxton grunted, lounging back in his chair. “Y’all are always talking shit about me not being serious….”
“My bad,” Lincoln conceded, laughing. “He’s right though,” he added, speaking to me now. “Yes, it’s early and all that, but… treat it like it’s not. Treat it like it’s real, so you don’t have to wonder later if you should’ve done something different.”
I nodded, but didn’t say anything, because… what was there to add?
I was thirty-six years old, so of course I’d dated, but never gotten to anything that felt serious. None of those had ever felt like a loss though.
This thing with Drew felt, already, like something to hold on to.
“Aiight, enough of the fluff and shit,” Braxton drawled, clearly having had his fill of talking about feelings like a bunch of broads. “Are the Clarke brothers revamping these restaurants for us, or nah?”
It was never that I didn’t want to see Drew – more like I needed her to start calling before she just… popped up.
Another week had gone by, and things between us were good.
Really good.
She just had a habit of “dropping by” the restaurant to surprise me in my office – just to say hello, or for me to join her for dinner or take her to lunch, sometimes a quickie. None of which I could ever seem to find the power to say “no” to.
None of which I wanted to say “no” to.
It was just really, really fucking with my schedule.
Finally though, when we were going into the second week of this, and she popped up ten minutes before I was supposed to be taking a meeting about Tigress, I couldn’t keep putting it off. I welcomed her into the office, like usual, but had to stop those fast fingers of hers before she had my pants undone.
“Baby,” I started, hoping the term of endearment would make what I had to say sting a little less, even though she was already looking at me sideways for catching her hands. “We can’t keep doing this.”
She pulled her hands away from mine and took a step back. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, but not about what it looks like you think I’m serious about,” I said quickly, trying to get ahead of a potential misunderstanding. “When I say this, I don’t mean… me and you,” I explained. “We absolutely can and will keep doing this.”
Her shoulders dropped. “Okay. What are you talking about then?”
“You popping in on me like this… as much as I enjoy seeing your gorgeous face… you’re messing with my flow.”
Drew’s eyes went wide, and her mouth dropped open in surprise as if she – as I expected – hadn’t realized what she was doing. “I… I’m sorry,” she said, with a little sigh. “I didn’t mean to impose, I just… wanted to see you.”
“And I want to see you too,” I assured her. “I just need us to make some plans. It doesn’t have to be days in advance or anything like that, but you have to understand – you’re a lot more flexible than I am. Can you meet me in the middle here?”
I was relieved when those words brought the smile back to her face, and she nodded. “Yes. I don’t want you to feel like you have to always match my energy – especially if I’m doing something that bothers you. So… thank you for saying something, instead of letting it turn into something else.”
“Holding shit in is really not my style,” I scoffed. “So while you might appreciate it now…”
She laughed. “Oh, I’m sure there will come a time where I’m going to wish you’d shut up. But as long as you’re not trying to nitpick me into something I’m not, we’ll always be good.”
“Okay. Can you bring your ass back here then?” I asked, gesturing at the space she’d put between us when she thought I was about to say something she wasn’t trying to hear.
Giggling, she closed the distance, letting me wrap her in my arms for a kiss until I remembered what time it was.
“I have a meeting with your homegirl from Tigress in like two minutes,” I told her, hating now that we had to part.
“Kima?” she asked, and I nodded. “Okay. Hopefully she doesn’t kill you. I’ll check back in after.”
7
Drew
“You are so pleased with yourself, aren’t you?” Bianca asked, tossing a french fry at me over the desk.
We’d ordered in for lunch today, and apparently I was doing too much daydreaming, not enough talking back and forth with my friends, because this wasn’t the first time I’d been accused of such.
“My bad, B – did I miss something?” I asked, giving her my attention.
Shaking her head, she laughed, and Raisa joined her.
“Not really – we’re just laughing at how you kept the fact that you were a whole ass dominatrix from us, and ended up falling in love with the nigga who was booking you to smack him around,” Raisa teased. “And now you’re sitting there in la-la-land, thinking about him.”
“Thinking about that dick is more like it,” Bianca added, propping her legs up on the corner of the desk.
“I was not smacking him around,” I corrected. “And I wasn’t a dominatrix either. That’s… a whole other thing, with training and all that. We were just two people who happened to like complimentary kinks.”
Raisa snickered. “Well, whatever you wanna call it, go ahead and slide the address to that club my way.”
Bianca and I both gasped. “Rai, you have a whole ass husband!” I reminded her, and she shrugged.
“Girl please – who do you think I’m trying to take with me? I feel like I might want to shove his face in my pussy while a crowd watches or something.”
“Whatever keeps it hot I guess,” Bianca laughed, shaking her head. “I got my fill of “being watched” years ago.”
Raisa and I both cringed, knowing she was alluding to an unfortunate “revenge porn” incident she’d been the victim of years ago. I couldn’t blame her for not wanting anything to do with even the insinuation of public sex.
She and Rashad had hot enough sex anyway though – I’d gone to her apartment to return something thinking she wasn’t home before, and walked in on them, so I knew that firsthand.
A
lso, she’d recently started sporting the baby bump to prove they were definitely getting it in – after I spilled my secret about what really happened with Andre that night at 81C, she’d spilled her secret about slipping the waiter a note to not bring her anything with alcohol. She was early in the pregnancy, and afraid of suffering a loss, but there was no hiding the bump on her small frame now.
“You’ve gotta join us in the mommy club now that you’ve got a man,” Bianca said, rubbing her belly as my eyes went wide.
“Not when “mommy brain” already has you losing your damn mind,” I laughed. “I just got a man – who isn’t even “officially” mine yet. Why in the world would I be trying to have his baby?”
“I don’t wanna be pregnant by myself,” B whined, and Raisa sucked her teeth.
“Um, excuse me – you bitches had me pregnant by myself twice.”
I shook my head. “Nah, that was Gabe knocking the hinges off you and spreading his seeds that had you pregnant “by yourself”. Sorry B – I’m just trying to enjoy… whatever this is right now. I’ve got years to think about babies.”
“That’s right D,” Raisa said, and Bianca agreed.
“You deserve to just be with somebody that has you at peace.”
Honestly… I agreed.
Which is why I took their good energy toward my budding whatever with me and Andre back to my office with me to get some work done. I hadn’t been at it very long before my email chimed with a new message. Instead of immediately going to it, I kept at my current task, waiting until my appointed email checking time to see what had built up in my inbox – a little productivity tip I’d picked up from Andre.
I… kinda wished I’d skipped it once I caught a look at my inbox though.
From: Jaylan Chambers; Subject: Checking On You
Really… I knew better than to open an email from my ex – especially considering that this was undoubtedly his last-resort method of contacting me.
I’d blocked him across all social media, and from phone contact.
I moved on from it, looking into the other messages it, taking the time to return them too, just to give me some form of distraction.
Unfortunately, it didn’t work.
Hey Drewbie – I know I probably don’t have permission or standing to call you that anymore, but I can’t help it. You’ll always be that to me babe. Anyway… I was reaching out because I’ve been seeing the honestly alarming stuff you’ve been posting on social media lately. I guess you’re trying to make it clear you’re attempting to move on from what we had, but I think you might be sending the wrong message. I just don’t want you out here making it easy for people to say you’re acting like a slut, or worse.
Let’s get together for dinner.
I feel in my gut that you’ve been acting out like this to try to get my attention. The more I think about what we lost, the more I feel like we both made some mistakes in deciding to end it. I can tell you upfront – I forgive you for your unladylike behavior when you moved out. You have to understand why I reacted the way I did, and what drove me to grab you like that – I was just trying to calm you down. You know I would never put my hands on you otherwise – I’ve never done anything but try to help you, never wanted anything but the best for you.
That’s all I still want.
I hope we can get past the ridiculousness of spending a year apart, and find ourselves back where we never should’ve left in the first place.
There’s this great place, 81st and Clarke, that I wanted to take you to, but it’s been all over town that you’re more than familiar. So maybe let’s meet at Honeybee instead, since you’re less… familiar with the owners there?
This Friday, at eight o’clock.
“No” isn’t an option.
Controlled Chaos Page 6
