by Rhonda James
“I don’t know. I guess I’m afraid of how I’ll feel about myself in the morning. I mean, will I thank myself for letting go of my inhibitions? Or will I wake up and hate myself for being weak?”
The music plays on, and all around us couples move in time to Ariana Grande, but we’ve stopped moving. Here we are, in the middle of the dance floor, locked in an embrace, hearts beating erratically. Anyone watching probably assumes we are lovers. The way we stare into each other’s eyes, neither one willing to look away for fear of losing what we seem to have found in this moment.
“I don’t think of you as being weak. Quite the opposite, actually. It takes strength to walk away from something as powerful as the lure of sex. It can be pretty compelling.”
I let out a half-laugh and divert my gaze. “I’m afraid you may be overestimating my abilities. Fear often gives us strength, but even that strength can be fleeting.”
“Even still, I’m not sure I possess the kind of strength you presented back there.” I shake my head and try to pull away, but his grip around me tightens. “Look, all I’m saying is, I know it was probably hard for you to deny yourself pleasure, yet you still chose that path. In fact, you were pretty committed to it.” He laughs as he says this and I continue to wrestle against his hold, now humiliated for the spectacle I surely made when I panicked. He reluctantly releases his grip, and I make my way back to where we were seated.
“Laney, wait up.” When we reach the table he slides a chair closer to mine, so close our thighs press together once we’re seated. A moment of silence passes between us, but I can tell he isn’t through speaking. I cock my head to the side, meeting his heated gaze while I wait for him to finish. A gasp escapes me when he slowly drags the tip of his finger down my arm, starting at my shoulder and stopping only when he reaches the tip of my middle finger. The act is simple, yet it sends a thrilling tingle straight to my very core. I don’t know why, but in some way it frightens me. What this man could do to me if I could only trust myself to say yes.
He leans forward until his lips brush the shell of my ear as he speaks on a low whisper, “I promise if you’ll allow yourself to spend just one night in my bed, you won’t wake up hating yourself.”
His words hang in the air, and the sexual energy between us is so thick it’s palpable. I can’t lie; his words strike a chord deep within me, stirring a need I wasn’t aware I was missing. I lied to him earlier when I told him my ex was looking to reconnect. The truth is, it’s been a while since I spent any amount of time with a man, and certainly not the kind of time I already allowed myself to spend with Derek.
“You see, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. You say things like that. And the things you said earlier when we were in your room. God. Those things made me feel something… But that kind of talk also scares me.”
“I scare you?” he questions softly.
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s not so much you. It’s more the things you say and how you say them. It does something to me. Makes me feel ways I haven’t allowed myself to feel in a very long time. If I let you in, even if it’s only for one night, I have a feeling one of us will wind up getting hurt. And I’m scared it will be me.”
“Hey.” He cups my chin between his fingers and forces me to look at him. “I get that you’re scared. You don’t even know me. But I promise you as I live and breathe, I would never hurt you. I just want to spend a little time with you. Would that be okay?”
There’s just something about him…
When he speaks, I can’t resist giving him my full attention. In fact, I don’t even bother fighting it anymore. I hang on every spoken word as if they are the very air I need to breathe. And even though what I’m about to do scares the living shit out of me, I convince myself this may be just what I need right now. I also remind myself that I’m in control of how far this goes and what information I choose to share about myself with him.
“I’d like that very much.” I give his hand a gentle squeeze in return. “There’s one more thing I’d like you to do for me.”
“Name it.”
The fact he doesn’t even hesitate gives me the courage to move forward. “I’d like for you to kiss me again.”
I’ve barely finished saying the words when his lips are wetting mine, moving slowly and methodically at first, then he leans his body forward and the kiss takes a dramatic turn. His left hand cups the back of my head as he crushes his mouth over mine. Our teeth crash together as we frantically fight for control of the kiss. His tongue is wet, sliding slick against mine as they move together in a dance seemingly choreographed by a greater power. When we finally break apart, we’re both breathing heavily, still only millimeters apart, neither of us willing to break the connection completely. When I finally catch my breath I say the first thing that comes to mind, which is one of the truest statements I’ve made all evening.
“I could do this all night long.”
His chuckle tickles my lips just before he whispers, “Then this is what we’ll do.”
He stands and takes my hand, leading me away from the party. Away from the crowd. Away from the noise and distraction. And for the next hour or more, we do just what he promised we’d do.
We kiss.
Lips move. Tongues explore. Hands roam.
I feel like I’m back in high school with the hottest guy and we’re making out in the basement of his parents’ house. Only we’re not in his basement. We’re in a coat closet just outside the ballroom.
It’s hot. It’s intense. It’s electrifying.
It’s everything I need without it being too much.
And then I end it, because I know if I’m not careful I’ll end up right back where we were before, and as much as I like him, I’m not sure if I’m as ready to let go as I thought I was.
“Derek,” I whisper as he peppers my skin with kisses.
“Hmmm?” he murmurs against my neck.
“I think I’m going to call it a night.”
“Wait. What?” His head lifts to meet my gaze, and I take in his disheveled appearance. His suit is rumpled. His hair sticks up in various directions from where my hands have been buried in it. His eyes are heavy-lidded, his lips swollen and red from our marathon kissing session.
Holy hell. He looks hot as fuck right now.
I pull out my phone and snap a picture before it even registers with him what I’m doing. He’s still stuck on the fact I just told him I’m leaving, so he gives me a questioning look.
“You look like you’ve just had sex.” I muss his hair once more, just because I can. He responds by doing the same to mine.
“Hate to break it to you, but so do you.” He steals another kiss. “Why’d you just take a picture of me?” His voice is hoarse, probably from all the moaning we’ve been doing.
“So I can stare at it while I’m lying in bed attempting to fall asleep.” I turn my phone to show him, and he lets out a throaty laugh as he shakes his head. “See, you look really sexy right now. I want to remember you this way.”
“Baby, you don’t need a picture, and you don’t have to imagine me in your bed, not when you can have the real thing.” His voice is thick with desire and I nearly melt when he kisses my forehead and curls an arm around my waist. “Come back to my room, and we’ll continue this in my bed.”
“I’m sorry.” I huff out a sigh and press a palm to his chest to try and create some distance between us. It’s hard to think clearly when his lips are this close. I’m not entirely sure why I’m pushing him away. I definitely want him. I only know if I follow him back to his room, we will have what I believe will be amazing sex, and may God help me for walking away, but then tomorrow we’ll go our separate ways and probably forget this night ever happened. I figure walking away now saves me the hassle of an awkward parting later. Or worse yet, the fake “I’ll call you. Maybe we can meet up and do this again” routine. Trust me, this way I am saving us both a lot of uncomfortable conversation down the road. I’m quite sur
e he’ll go back home and forget all about me. “I know this is what you say you want right now, but tomorrow you’ll probably wonder what you ever saw in me.”
He doesn’t hesitate to try and convince me otherwise, and what he says makes it that much harder to leave him. “Never. I’ll want you just as much tomorrow as I do right this very moment. I can promise you that.”
“When are you leaving?” I can feel myself wanting to give in as I trace a finger over the light scruff on his jaw.
“Not until tomorrow evening. Why?” The hand not cupping my waist finds its way to my thigh, and a shiver runs down my spine as the tips of his calloused fingers tease my bare skin.
“Tell you what, if tomorrow comes and you still want me, I’ll be on the fifty-sixth floor, room 5627. I like a bacon and mushroom omelet with a side of fresh fruit and orange juice.”
He laughs heartily then checks to see if I’m serious. “Why are you giving me your breakfast order?”
I laugh with him. “Honestly? I’m not sure. Maybe I’m doing it to see if you’re paying attention. Now, are you going to be a gentleman and walk me to my room?”
“A gentleman never allows a lady to walk when he can carry her.” He lifts me until I’m level with his waist. We’re both laughing so hard I have to wrap my legs around him to keep from slipping. We’re still in this position when he stumbles out of the coat closet and straight into a scowling Noah.
“Laney? Who is this and what the hell were you two just doing in the closet?” Noah demands to know, his words dripping with blatant jealousy.
I open my mouth to respond, but Derek gives me a look as if to say let me handle it. So I do.
“I’m sorry, who are you? And how is what she’s doing any of your fucking business?”
Something about the way Derek’s muscles flex with every spoken word tells me he could probably take Noah down with one punch, but that doesn’t deter Noah from his sudden concern for my welfare.
Sorry, asshole, you’re about a year and two hundred and fifty kisses too late. But who’s counting?
He studies both of us, taking in the state of our hair and clothing, and a look of understanding passes over his face, causing him to take a step backward.
“Noah.” My voice cracks.
“Were you? Did you two just—? In there?” He points to the closet. “With him?”
Derek’s gaze meets mine and a tight smile forms at the corners of his mouth before he whispers in my ear. “Is this the ex you were running from?” I offer him a subtle nod.
“Noah, I think it’s painfully obvious Laney has moved on. I think it’s time you do the same. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to continue this in our room. Right, Pookie?”
Noah doesn’t stick around long enough for me to answer, but after he rounds the corner, we both burst into another fit of laughter.
“Pookie?” I manage to ask him after I stop laughing. Seriously, the look on Noah’s face was priceless.
Derek shrugs and lowers me to the ground. “It was the first thing that popped into my head. No good?”
“Actually, it’s kinda sweet. Just like you.” I rise up on my tiptoes and kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks for handling that the way you did.”
“Anytime, Pookie.” He returns a kiss on my cheek. “I have a feeling he won’t be giving you any more trouble.”
“Come on. Walk me to my room.” I turn to leave.
“Are you seriously leaving me? After I just came to your rescue? It’s only eleven o’clock.” He gives my arm a tug, pulling me back to him when I try and move away.
“Yes,” I shake my head and push off him once more. “Are you going to escort me or not?” I wiggle my fingers at him.
“Fine. But I can’t make any promises about the elevator ride. I’ve always had this fantasy about throwing a woman up against the back of an elevator and having my way with her.”
“Sounds exciting, but aren’t you worried about the security cameras?” With his body flush against mine, he guides me back until my shoulders meet the hard granite outside the bank of elevators. His lips trail along my jaw and whisper over my mouth. My hand fumbles along the wall behind me in search of the call button.
“Cameras make it that much more exciting. Don’t you think?” He winks at me.
“With that comment you’ve just proven my previous assumption about you.” I giggle when his fingers tickle at my sides.
“Oh yeah? And what assumption is this?”
“You’re no gentlemen, are you?” His rock-hard erection is evident as he shamelessly grinds his hips against my pelvis.
“Hell, yes, I’m a gentleman. But I can still play dirty,” he growls in my ear and I melt into him just a little more. God, this man is slowly destroying the last remaining shred of resolve I’m clinging to.
At this rate, I’ll be a puddle of goo before we ever make it back to my room.
“Well then, I guess from this point forward I’ll have to call you my Dirty Gentleman.” The elevator dings, and he pulls me into the empty car. “Derek,” I warn him. “I’m not having sex with you in this elevator.” His face falls slightly at my confession. “But I am up for giving those security guards something to talk about.”
He grins wickedly before backing me against the wall. Taking both of my hands in one of his, he pins them over my head and lowers his mouth to my ear. “Sounds like someone wants to be a little exhibitionist. Guess you’re a little dirty, too.”
“Just shut up and kiss me already, you fool.” I smile inside, because I don’t have to ask him twice.
CHAPTER EIGHT
LANEY
“Wait,” he says huskily, grabbing hold of my wrist and preventing me from stepping inside the room. “One more, and then I’m gone. I promise.”
I smile against his mouth when he sucks on my bottom lip before rolling it between his teeth. He’s been saying this for the last ten minutes, yet one more has turned into at least twenty more kisses since we exited the elevator. And let me tell you, that was an unforgettable ride. Not one stitch of clothing was removed, but the things he did with his mouth and hands… OMG. I’ve never had a man elicit the kind of response from me that he does. Then again, I’ve never been with a man quite like Derek.
“You keep saying that, yet we’re still here. At some point, you’re going to have to let me go.”
“Yeah, I know, but it’s just so fucking hard. You’re like a feast for my senses.” He cups my face in his hand and brushes a thumb across my cheek. I smile and lean into his touch, loving the way he’s looking at me in this moment. “I can’t stop staring at you. You’re so beautiful, Laney. I love how soft your skin feels beneath my calloused fingers. How your mouth tastes of tequila. I just want to stay here and get drunk on you.” His other hand curls around the back of my head to draw me against him, and I gasp when the tip of his tongue sweeps over my upper lip. He continues the sensual assault, placing his nose against my neck and inhaling deeply. “You smell… incredible.” The warm rush of his breath against my skin leaves me moaning involuntarily. “I love the noises you make when I’m near you. Every little sound is music to my ears. And I can’t stop wondering… If I can elicit this type of response just by kissing you… What sounds are you going to reward me with when you finally say yes and allow me to fuck you?”
His mouth stops below my ear, and I hold my breath, waiting for him to finish speaking, waiting for him to back away so I can finally breathe. I’m afraid if he keeps this up, he won’t have to wait much longer to hear the sounds he’s talking about.
“Something tells me those sounds may be the death of me. But what a way to go.”
Cupping my face in both his hands now, he captures my mouth in another heated kiss, but when this one ends, I wiggle my fingers at him and back through the door. He remains standing there with his hands braced against the doorframe as if he’s using it to hold himself up.
His eyes never leave mine as I ease the door shut, and before it latches, I ca
tch his lips mouthing one word.
Tomorrow.
Once the door is finally closed, I lean against it and sink to the floor, feeling boneless and drained.
My thoughts are all over the place. Never in my life have I felt a connection of this magnitude with someone so quickly, but I have a feeling my inability to make up my mind left him with a nasty case of whiplash. After all, I was the one to start this whole seduction in the first place.
I’m the one who forced my way into his room.
I made myself comfortable. Drank tequila. I flashed him my panties, then practically begged him to touch me.
Then, when things got heated, I’m the one who chickened out and ran away.
And by leaving my phone behind, I’m ultimately the one who set the stage for the rest of the evening. Sure, he took charge when we were kissing. And in the elevator, he was definitely the aggressor. He made it perfectly clear from the start that sex was the goal of the evening, and at first I thought I wanted that too, but a small part of me isn’t ready to be careless with my heart. I’m an extremely emotional person, and right now, I can’t afford to have my head getting messed up by some guy I’m never going to see again.
