by Rhonda James
“I’d like to blame my behavior on what you choose to do for a living, but the truth is, I was jealous. Derek and I have always been close, then you came into his life and he began to act differently. I didn’t have to see him to know he was in love. I could hear it in his voice. It was the endearing way he spoke about you. As far as I know, Derek has never been in love before. I was afraid he wouldn’t have time for me now that he has you. I know it sounds crazy, but one day maybe you’ll understand.” Her eyes drift to my stomach before settling on mine. There’s warmth behind her gaze. I feel no judgment this time. All I see is acceptance. She continues speaking, and I’m surprisingly content to just sit back and listen.
“Derek is our only child. I had a very difficult time conceiving. We tried for two years before I finally told Elliott I was ready to stop trying. I just couldn’t take the disappointment of waiting month after month to see if my period would come.” A look of sadness appears, then she shakes her head as if trying to erase those memories. “When I found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed. I called him my little miracle. I was placed on bed rest for months to ensure I would carry him to term. He became my whole world. I gave up my modeling career and focused on my child. I don’t regret it, though. He was worth every sacrifice I made. Once he got older, he never brought many girls home for us to meet. Oh, there was this one girl in high school he’d always had a crush on. They dated for about a year until just before he left for college, she broke his heart. He never spoke to me about it, but after that, he seemed to avoid serious relationships. I hated her for what she did to him.”
“Seriously? Breakups happen all the time,” I scoff.
“She’d broken my baby’s heart, so naturally I held a grudge,” she huffs out a laugh. “Believe me, I know how childish it sounds. I’m not proud of my behavior. I’ve regretted it for years. Being a parent is a remarkable gift, but it doesn’t mean you’re perfect. You’re going to make a lot of mistakes along the way. Let’s just say I’ve made my fair share.” She places a hand on my arm and twists around to face me. “I can see why my son fell in love with you. You’re a beautiful young woman, and it’s obvious you’re in love with him. I could see it in your eyes the minute you walked through my door. The way you looked at him. It said everything. I didn’t respect that then, and I know now I was foolish. I hurt you. I hurt Derek. And I even hurt myself, because it created a conflict between my son and me. Now, you’re carrying his child. You’re his whole world now, and I’ll just be Mom.”
Hearing her say it out loud, even after Derek told me this was what he suspected, finally validates her feelings and why she would have them. Sure, her judgment hurt me, but I was capable of forgiveness.
“You’re not just Mom. Derek loves you, and so will our baby.” I reach over and take her hand in mine and give it a small squeeze.
“You’re a very sweet girl, Laney.” She squeezes mine back. “None of this justifies the horrific things I said about you. I’m sorry for even being cruel enough to say them. But I’m also sorry you had to hear them. They were hateful and untrue, and I’m ashamed of myself. I truly hope you can forgive me and give me another chance. I would love the chance to get to know the woman who stole my son’s heart and is going to give me my first grandchild.”
“I would also love that. I forgive you, Cecilia. I think I can understand why you acted the way you did. I’ll admit I was devastated by your words. I wanted so badly for you to like me. But I wasn’t completely honest with you either. I understand fear. Fear made me dishonest and guarded. So, see, you’re not alone.” Saying the words doesn’t hurt nearly as much as I thought they would. I actually do forgive her. She had her reasons for being leery of me, just like I had reasons for not sharing information with Derek. We all have our own demons. Some of us are just better at hiding them than others. I shrug and offer her a sincere smile. She returns the smile then surprises me by leaning forward and pulling me in for a hug. At first, my arms remain at my sides, unsure of where to be, but as the seconds pass, they find their way around her middle, and soon I’m being treated to an honest to goodness ‘mom hug.’ It’s been so long since I’ve felt a mother’s arms wrapped around me. And it feels amazing. I hadn’t realized how much I’d been missing it until right now. Before long, I feel the tears falling, but I don’t bother trying to hide them. She knows I’m crying, and she must understand, because rather than let go and ask what’s wrong, she simply hugs me a little tighter and rubs her hand down my back.
The way my mom used to do.
We break apart, and I brush the tears away from my face. “Hey, would you like to come inside? Derek picked up these amazing cinnamon rolls last night, and I was thinking about popping one in the oven to get it nice and warm.”
She smiles then joins me in standing. “Make it two and you’re on. You think that coffee’s still warm?” She links her arm with mine and we head inside. “You know, Laney, I would be honored if you’d consider yourself a part of my family.”
“You know something, Cecilia? I already do.”
I learned something sitting on the porch swing with Derek’s mom. I learned that I miss my mom more than I ever realized, but I also learned it’s okay for someone else’s mom to come along and try to fill the void my mother’s death left behind. I also learned I wanted a friendship with her; but in order to have that, I needed to let go of any hard feelings and try to move forward. So that’s what I did.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
DEREK
“Sir, which prisoner are you here to see?” the woman behind the glass partition asks without bothering to look up from what she’s doing.
I clear my throat and slide my driver’s license through the small gap at the bottom of the partition. “James Dixon.”
She studies my ID then finally acknowledges me when she hands it back to me. “Sign in then take a seat in the waiting room to your left. Someone will come get you within the hour.” She goes back to what she was doing, so I add my name to the long list of those visiting a friend or loved one at Cedar County Correctional Facility.
Too bad James Dixon is neither a loved one nor friend of mine. He’s just a man I needed to see before I take the next step in my life.
I wait forty-five minutes before someone calls my name. I’m escorted down a long hallway lined with metal doors, each one featuring a small square window approximately two feet down from the top of the door. We stop at one, and I’m led inside. The room is nondescript. White. Cold. And barren. Save for the small table and chairs located in the center of the room. A door on the back wall opens, and I come face-to-face with Laney’s father.
“You’ve got fifteen minutes,” the guard behind him orders. James nods in understanding. The guard exits the room, and it’s just the two of us.
“So, Mr. Davis, what brings you all the way out to Cedar County just to see me?” He eyes me warily and takes a seat across from me.
“Please, call me Derek. I’m here because of your daughter.” I rub my hands together nervously.
“Laney? What about her? Is she okay?” His eyes flash with concern.
“She’s fine, well, she’s going to be. Mr. Dixon, do you have any idea what your daughter’s been through this past year? How she’s sacrificed everything to save your home?”
He grunts and narrows his eyes at me. “What do you know about that? That’s none of your business. I told her to let them take that house. I’ve got nothing for it anymore.”
“Yeah? Well, maybe you don’t, but Laney does. She’s spent the last eight months working at a strip club to earn enough money to keep the bank from taking away the only part of her family she has left!”
“Strip club? My baby girl is a stripper?” He looks to me for confirmation, and when I don’t respond, his stoic features crumble. “Oh god. What have I done?” His right hand closes into a tight fist before he brings it to his mouth. I swear it almost looks as if he’s biting down, and I wonder if he’s stopping himself from screaming or cry
ing. Or both.
“The house was sold this morning,” I tell him.
His eyes close and a choking sob escapes from the back of his throat, confirming my earlier suspicions. He still cares.
“I built that house with my own two hands. Took pride in every last nail driven into that wood. Felicia loved that house. She poured her heart and soul into making it a home for all of us. After she died, I couldn’t stand being there. I would look around the rooms and all I saw was her. It should have comforted me, but it didn’t. It was torture, because I could see her but would never feel her arms around me again. Felicia and Laney were my whole life. I would have done anything for them. I’d have sooner died than live without them. I watched her die. The only woman I ever loved needed me, and I couldn’t save her.” He looks at me with tired eyes, and I see a defeated man. I see a man who loved his wife and daughter, and when he wasn’t able to save the woman he loved, he felt he’d lost his entire family. In his mind they weren’t a family unless they were all together. He failed to realize that he and Laney were still a family and when he gave up, he gave up on not only himself but on the one person who needed him most.
I guess that’s what happens when you lose hope.
“Do you know who bought it?” he asks sadly.
“I did. I bought it for the woman I love.” Our eyes meet, and I see a small flicker behind those empty brown eyes. “Mr. Dixon, I’m in love with your daughter, and tonight when I hand over the deed to our home, I’m going to ask her to be my wife. She’s pregnant, and I want us to raise our child in the same home where Laney always felt safe and loved. I wanted to be able to give that to her, because she’s already lost so much.”
“My little girl is pregnant? With your child?” He lets out a deep breath. “And you bought my house for them? You must really love her.”
“She’s my whole world. I’ll give her anything she asks for, plus everything she doesn’t. I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. I’d like your blessing.”
“She ask you to come here and do this?” He offers me a smile.
“She didn’t have to,” I tell him.
“You’re a good man, Derek. Promise me you’ll take care of them. Treasure them always.”
“Easiest promise I’ll ever keep,” I chuckle.
“Fifteen minutes are up. Let’s go, Dixon,” the guard calls through the open door.
“Tell Laney I love her and I’m proud of her. Will you do that for me?” he pleads.
“I can. But I think you should tell her yourself when she comes to see you next week.” I wink at him.
He laughs and looks back over his shoulder. “Oh, and son. You have my blessing.” And just like that, he’s gone.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
LANEY
“Can we go home now? I’m exhausted and starving, and I miss Derek. I didn’t get to see him before he left this morning,” I pout and collapse into the passenger seat of Cassie’s car. It’s late, and I skipped dinner because we’d been out shopping all afternoon. Cassie wanted to look at baby stuff and insisted on buying a few items even though I told her it was much too soon to be thinking about things like this. After all, it hasn’t even been a month and anything could happen. I rest my hand over my stomach and silently pray this pregnancy goes smoothly. I’m already in love, and I haven’t even heard its heartbeat or felt its first kick. But this baby is a part of Derek, and for that reason alone I will do anything to protect it.
“Yes, I’ll take you to your man so he can feed you.” She laughs and tosses a bag of baby clothes in the back seat before putting the car in gear. “So, you never told me when your last day of work is.”
“I’m already done. I told Gavin I wouldn’t be back. He almost cried. I swear he had a crush on me.” We both giggle. “Sometimes it got a little weird when he would come into the dressing room while we were changing. I won’t miss that at all.”
“Well, I know Derek is going to be happy. I’m surprised he put up with it as long as he did. That man is fiercely protective of you. I love that,” she said in a dreamy voice.
“Girl, you know Brantley feels the same way about you. They’re real life superheroes.”
“Every girl deserves a superhero.” She smiles a dimpled smile.
“Iron Man!” I shout and pump my fist in the air.
“Superman!” Cassie does the same only her fist smacks against the headliner. “Ouch!” She makes a pouty face.
“Uh oh, where’s B when we need him?” I tease.
“Shut up,” she giggles and shakes out her hand. “He’ll kiss it and make it better later.” She winks. I smile, having no doubt he’ll do just that.
“Hey, Cassie. I’m really glad we’re friends.” I reach over and give her hand a squeeze.
Her eyes get all watery, and she smiles a goofy smile. “Me, too. You’re my very best friend, besides B, of course.”
“Oh, of course.” I laugh, and we spend the rest of the drive joking about what I’ll look like when I’m eight months pregnant and balancing a dinner plate on my stomach.
When we pull up to the house, she reaches in the back seat for my bag, but she doesn’t offer to get out of the car. She has her phone out and is frantically typing on the screen, probably letting Brantley know she’s on her way home.
“Aren’t you coming?” I throw a quick glance back at the house I’ve called home for twelve years. It’s going to be really hard saying goodbye to all the memories trapped within those walls. She simply gives her head a shake and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
“You need time with Derek. I’ve heard how pregnancy can make you horny. I don’t want to get between that.” She laughs.
“Girl, you’re crazy!” I roll my eyes but don’t deny it. I have to admit I have been feeling extra needy in the sex department. “Hey, we’re gonna need some help packing this weekend. You think you and Brantley are up for it? I’ll order Chinese.”
“Deal! Well, gotta go! Give Derek a hug and kiss for me.” She wiggles her fingers in a wave before she backs down the drive.
The lights are all off when I walk through the front door. Only the flickering glow of candlelight lights my path as I walk down the hall toward the kitchen.
“Sweetie? I’m home.” I turn the corner, but he’s not there. I jog up the stairs to the bedroom expecting to find him either sleeping or lying naked in bed and waiting for me. I’m kinda hoping for the latter. “Derek?” I whisper to an empty room.
Huh. Where could he be? His truck is parked out front.
I trudge back down the stairs feeling confused, horny, and hungry. I head straight for the kitchen, because lately hunger always wins out. I pull a bottle of water out of the fridge and grab and apple out of the bowl on the counter. Next to the sink there’s a note written in Derek’s handwriting. I laugh, because it is so typical of him.
Me + You (and my unborn child) = Date night
P.S. I’m in the backyard
I set the note and apple aside and feel a flurry of butterflies dancing around in my stomach. Or maybe it’s just hunger pangs. Either way, I’m excited, because I’ll finally get to feel his lips on mine. I’ve been craving that connection all day. I go through the back door and what I see nearly takes my breath away. All the trees in the backyard have been adorned with white twinkle lights. There are at least fifteen trees in our yard and every one of them is lit up. This must have taken him all afternoon. It’s so dark out tonight, but the effect of the twinkle lights makes it appear as if there are hundreds and hundreds of stars scattered throughout the yard. There’s a table set up, and it’s been decorated with a tablecloth and my mom’s china. Chinese takeout boxes fill one side of the table, while the other holds two wrapped presents. The Backstreet Boys serenade us through the outdoor speakers, and Derek is waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.
“Oh my gosh. Derek. It’s breathtaking. How did you do all this? When did you do all of this?” I spin around to get the full effect. He chuckle
s softly and takes me by the hand to pull me to him.
“This afternoon, and I may have had a little help from the guys,” he says sheepishly. “I missed you today.” His lips meet mine in a warm kiss. After he pulls away, I run my tongue over my lips still craving the taste of him. “Hi, baby.” He smiles then crouches down to place a kiss on my belly. “Hi, little one,” he whispers into the fabric of my dress. “Daddy loves you.” I love seeing how happy he is about this baby. What it does to my heart is beyond measure.
“Hi,” I whisper back and wrap my arms around him for another kiss. I was hungry when I walked outside, but for now, his lips are more than enough to satisfy my needs. He nuzzles his nose over my neck, his lips finding the spot that drives me crazy, and my head falls back. His tongue flicks out, searing my flesh with its heat, and I moan in his arms. His tongue teases and dances over my skin before he returns to my lips and I melt against him. He breaks away, leaving me breathless and needy. “God, I needed that. Promise me you’ll always greet me that way.” I giggle.
“Pfft, piece-of-cake promise to keep. There’s more where that came from, but first, you need to eat something.” He guides me over to the table.
There’s a candle in the center as well as two champagne flutes. He pours a glass of champagne for himself and a glass of white grape juice for me. He raises his glass in a toast, and I lift mine to join his.
“To that night in Atlanta when it all started. To finding our way back to each other. To falling in love with your soul mate. To building a life together and raising a family. To being there for each other in good times and remaining there even through the bad. To you. To me. To us.”
I have no words, only tears, so I offer those and join him in clinking our glasses together as I sob pitifully. Everything makes me weepy these days.
“Aww, baby. Don’t cry.” His thumb wipes away my tears, and he kisses the tip of my nose. “I love you, Laney.”
