Jesus, I sound just like the woman who gave birth to me.
A sobering chill runs down my spine at the thought. I guess it’s true what they say, the apple never falls far from the tree.
I told myself I’d never be like her. Never reduce myself to the things she did. I was too young to know what it was she was really doing at the time, but I sensed it. And as I’ve gotten older, it’s become clearer and clearer the reason why she used to take all the random guys back to her bedroom and be high as a fucking kite when they eventually left.
My stomach turns over as I think back to that trailer. I can still remember the smell as if it were yesterday.
I heave as my memories get too much. I’ve been with my parents for over ten years, yet that life is still as vivid as the day I moved here.
Bringing my car to a stop about a million miles from the Dunn house, I throw my door open and climb out. I tug at my uniform in an attempt to feel like I used to in it, but it’s pointless. I fear that I no longer belong in it, and I have no idea what that means for me. Being the captain was who I was. Without it, I’m just some lost girl who seems to have no control over her life despite the fact she’s the one who did all the things to make it explode in the first place.
Luca and Leon, Shane’s brothers, have thrown some massive parties over the years. But then I guess they never won the state championship when they both played for the Bears because I’ve never seen anything of this scale before.
I wonder how much Mr. Dunn paid the neighbors to ignore this tonight?
Cars litter their usually quiet street, there are people everywhere, some moving to attend the party, others just watching the commotion and probably wondering what the hell is going on.
As I round the final corner, I have to weave in and out of the cars to even get close to the house.
“Jesus,” I mutter when I find a press van and a load of reporters huddled in the front yard. But I’m not surprised to find Brett at the front and center of the attention. He lives for the fame.
As I get closer, I find the twins with wide proud smiles on their faces and their arms thrown around a very reluctant looking Shane.
This is his idea of hell, I don’t need to see the pained expression on his face to know that. He’s done everything he can to stay out of the spotlight over the years. This is his dad and brothers’ thing, it’s not his.
Brett chats away despite the fact the questions are most probably about tonight’s game.
I stand to the side, hidden in the bushes as Brett continues to take the limelight until four other people join them. The press immediately turns away from Shane’s fame-hungry father and to Jake and Mason, who both have their girls pinned tightly to their side.
That pang of jealousy I felt earlier hits me. I want someone to hold me that tightly. Just once. Is that too much to ask?
Jake and Mason answer questions, but they don’t look entirely comfortable about it. They need Ethan. He’d lap up this kind of media attention.
It’s weird not to see the three of them together.
Regret fills me for not responding to the messages he’s sent me over the past few weeks. I know Kelly has left and it was selfish of me not to at least ask how he was handling everything. I need to remember that while my life is falling apart, others’ are too.
At some point, Shane manages to slip away because when I drag myself from my thoughts, he’s nowhere to be seen.
Taking that as my cue to also head inside, I step around the tree and walk around the back of the house.
There are people everywhere. Most of which I don’t recognize as Rosewood students.
As I make my way to the kitchen, I get more than a few dirty looks. I keep my head high and smile in return.
Yes, I’ve made mistakes. A lot of them. But I refuse to cower down to these people who suddenly seem to think they’re better than me.
I find myself a soda in the kitchen and sip it as I look around the room.
Everyone chats and laughs as if they don’t have a care in the world.
“I hope you dropped a few of your own pills into that,” Shelly barks, coming to stand in front of me.
She has Victoria and Krissy standing right behind her. All three have their hands on their hips and fierce looks on their faces.
“It’s funny,” Krissy pipes up, breaking the crackling tension between us all. “I thought we’d made it clear that you weren’t welcome here.”
I push from the counter and get in Shelly’s space.
“Oh yeah. And you should probably remember who got you your place on the squad,” I spit at Krissy. She was nothing before she tried out. I made her what she is today. I was the one who allowed her to attend these kinds of parties and hang out with the football team.
“Krissy deserves her spot on the squad. Much more than you do right now,” Shelly barks, speaking for Krissy, who fumes behind her.
“Ladies, ladies, ladies. Put the claws away, eh?” Zayn says, sliding up beside me and wrapping his arm around my shoulder and making me cringe. I know it’s my fault that the guys think they own my body, that they have the right to touch, but they really fucking don’t. Not anymore. “I’m sure Chelsea has a reason to be here that doesn’t involve drugging us all.”
“Fuck you,” I spit, pushing his arm from me and stepping away from them.
“Here you go, Chelsea. I made you a drink. It’s a special cocktail, especially for you.” A wicked smile pulls at Zayn’s lips as he holds out a cup for me. “Go on, drink it. See how you like it.”
We stand, locked in our stare. Him daring me to take it and me begging him not to make me.
“No,” I bark, not taking my eyes from his.
“What’s wrong, Chelsea? You too good to drink your own poison?” He lifts a brow.
“I’m not drinking that.” My stomach turns over at the thought alone.
“Prove to us that you’re sorry, that you belong here. Come on, the Chelsea I used to know never turned down a drink. We’ll start to think they’re something wrong with you.”
My heart pounds, and my hands shake. I can’t let these assholes see beneath my mask. I hate to do it, but I know there’s no other way out of this.
I stare at Zayn a little longer, really study him. He’s not a bad guy. He doesn’t go out of his way to hurt people, girls especially. I really doubt he spiked that drink.
I guess I’m about to find out.
“Fine,” I spit, taking the drink and downing it in one.
The girls’ eyes go wide as Zayn continues staring at me.
Sweetness explodes on my tongue the second the liquid hits and I instantly know it’s just fruit juice. It’s still yet to be seen if there’re any drugs in it though.
I feel weak for doing it. I shouldn’t bend to them. I need to stay strong. Focus on what I want and why I’m here.
I look back up to Zayn and hold his dark stare. He’s usually the joker, but right now his eyes hold a viciousness that I’m not sure I’ve ever seen. Would he take things this far? Have I just played right into his hands?
My stomach turns over and I worry I’m about to puke on my own feet.
Not wanting to show any kind of weakness. I take a step forward.
“What are you trying to prove, Hunter?” I sass, popping my hip out.
His top lips curls in a way I’m not used to when I’m this close to him before he dismisses me with a tilt of his chin.
Glancing to the side, I find Shelly and Krissy staring daggers at me.
Needing to get away from their burning, hate-filled stares, I turn on my heels and run.
I push people aside as their too-loud whispers, all directed at me, fill my ears.
“Why the hell is she here?”
“Doesn’t she know we don’t want her anymore?”
“Karma will kick her ass into next year.”
“She looks like a whore.”
“She’s put on weight.”
“Why did we ever think she
was that pretty?”
All of them swirl around my head as I fight to find an escape.
I shouldn’t have come here.
I should have driven home, or better, just kept going.
Finally, I make it out of the packed room and out into the hallway, reaching for the handle of the first door, I slip inside and breathe a sigh of relief.
4
Shane
Everything about this party is exactly as I feared. It’s meant to be about us celebrating a successful season and taking the championship, but predictably, Dad is making it about him.
“Shane’s skills and success are down to me. I made sure he had a ball in his hands from the day he was born. I made him practice. I encouraged him to join the team. I, I, I, me, me, me.”
I’m fucking sick of it.
Everything is about him. About his NFL career, about his success as a father, about his wealth.
Fury bubbles in my veins as I push through all the people, most of which I’ve never seen before in my life to find some space, some peace.
If I knew he was going to have the fucking press here waiting for us, then I never would have come back. But I needed to get away from her. From those large dark eyes that do things to my insides. The way they practically begged for me to give her a chance, to listen to her.
I might be the only one who will do that. She might have never wanted to admit it, but she’s been in my life longer than anyone realizes thanks to our mothers. But she needs to realize that I’m not the pushover she thinks I am.
While Chelsea might have spent our entire school careers avoiding me, pretending I’m nothing to her, she’s spent hours under this exact roof, mostly hanging out with my brothers, but also me too on occasion. I know the things she keeps hidden from the outside world. I’ve even had a glimpse of the real girl hiding beneath the hard outer shell on occasion. And it’s those little glimpses that keep me going back for more because she calls to me in a way I can’t ignore.
I fall down onto the chair behind my dad’s desk and stare around the room.
His career is proudly displayed on every single wall as well as lining each shelf. There are jerseys, posters, trophies, everything to remind him of what a success he is every time he looks up. But that’s not all. His golden boys’ journey to the top is also proudly displayed. Photographs of Luca and Leon in their first jerseys, a ball between them which is bigger than the almost newborn babies. Images of them playing at little league, proudly holding their first trophies, and an array of other similar photos right through to them now playing for the Maddison Panthers.
What’s glaringly obvious as I sit here, ignoring the party that’s booming on the other side of the door, is any evidence that I even exist.
I let out a long sigh, rest my head back and close my eyes in an attempt to block it all out. It does fuck all though. My reality is still pounding around me. I should be enjoying myself, reveling in our team’s success. But no, I’m hiding like a fucking pussy.
The sound of the door opening drags my head down from staring at the ceiling and when I look over, the person who’s leaning back against it is the last I expected to see.
The anger that was already beginning to get the better of me reaches all new heights at the sight of her.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I bark, pushing the chair out with so much force that it clatters against the wall behind me.
Her wide, startled eyes find mine. If I weren’t so lost in my frustration over tonight, then I might see her shock, but I don’t, all I see is red.
Stalking toward her, my fists curl at my sides.
“I asked you a question.”
She swallows, the skin of her long slender neck rippling.
“I needed a breather.”
I don’t stop until I’m right in front of her.
“You weren’t welcome in the first place.”
Her already dark chocolate eyes darken further with my words.
“I’m pretty sure this is an open house tonight.”
“Yeah, to anyone but you,” I snap.
“But—”
“There are no buts here, Chelsea. You fucked up. Big fucking time.”
“Yeah, and I’m sorry, all right?”
A bitter laugh falls from my lips. “No. It’s not fucking all right. First you drugged Amalie, and then not happy with causing all that drama, you had to go for Mason. What the fuck were you even thinking?”
Her eyes narrow. I know I’m getting to her and that the best thing for both of us would be for me to send her away, but now we’ve started, I can’t stop, and it seems she’s in the same mood too.
“Ah, I forgot about your obsession with the supermodel.”
“I’m not obsessed with her. She’s just a decent person, unlike someone else I know.”
“Pfft.” She rolls her eyes at me and I lose my shit.
Reaching out, I take her chin between my fingers and squeeze.
“You don’t get to walk back in here after disappearing out of the blue and expect to fit back in,” I seethe.
“No one cares I left.” She tries to avert her gaze, but I hold her in place and meet her eyes once more.
“Is that what you really think?” I ask, my eyes drilling into hers.
“Well no one wanted me to come back so clearly no one missed me.”
Something twists in my chest, but I refuse to tell her that I spent the past few weeks trying to find out where the hell she was. I was aware that Ethan knew, but he wasn’t giving that information up for shit. Nor was my mother.
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m sure a few of the guys missed you. There was one less slut to suck their cocks with you gone.”
“Fuck you, Shane. You’re just jealous.”
“Really?” I laugh. “You think I’m jealous of those assholes?”
Tears begin to pool in her eyes, and it feeds something inside me. Something dark that I don’t really want to acknowledge, but I’m powerless to keep going.
“That night only happened because I wanted to see what the big deal was about.”
She gasps.
I lean in so my lips brush the shell of her ear. She shudders, but she’s about to learn there’s going to be nothing pleasurable about this. “All I hear is how good you suck, how tight your pussy is. Thought it would be a damn shame to be the only one on the team not to experience it.”
“No,” she cries.
“What? You think I actually wanted you that night?” A bitter laugh rumbles up my throat. “You offered it to me on a plate. Did you really think I’d refuse?”
“Shane,” she warns. “Don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what? Treat you like the cheap slut that you are? You’re nothing, Chelsea. No one wants you here. Now fuck off.”
A sob rumbles up her throat, but she somehow manages to keep the tears that fill her eyes from dropping.
She stares at me for a beat before pulling her face from my grip and wrenching the door open.
At the last minute, she turns back.
“You’re lying, Shane. I know you’re fucking lying.” It’s then her tears fall, but she runs before I get a chance to do anything.
“Fuck,” I bellow into the room, but the sound gets swallowed by the loud music coming from the wide-open door.
A huge part of me screams to chase her. To pull her into my arms and tell her that she’s right. That I was lying. But I can’t. Not tonight. Maybe not ever.
Chelsea doesn’t want me. She’s made that abundantly clear on many occasions. Hell, most of the time she doesn’t even want to be associated with me.
I know as well as she does that that night between us meant nothing. We’d both been drinking. Noah and Tasha had disappeared upstairs, and I was fucking livid that he was screwing around on Camila. Chelsea was just there. A distraction from going and rearranging one of my best friend’s face for disrespecting one of my closest friends and the girl I thought he was in love with.
Needing
to do something other than just hide in my dad’s office. I storm through the open door and go in search of some alcohol. Anything to stop me from chasing after Chelsea and doing what I really want to do.
5
Chelsea
I manage to keep it together until I’m safely inside my car. Everyone inside that house might not want me there, but I’ll be fucked if I’m going to show any of them that they’re getting to me.
I blow out a shaky breath and stare ahead through blurry eyes.
I didn’t really know what to expect from Shane. He’s always been the quiet one, the one who sits back and watches all the drama unfold around him. I thought he’d probably be angry, after all, he was the one who got the blame for drugging Amalie seeing as Jake found them together that night. It had worked out kinda perfect for me because everyone believed Jake and no one even bothered to look for another suspect.
I shouldn’t have done it. I knew it at the time and I really know it now. But I was desperate. It’s not an excuse, I’m aware of that. I spent a lot of time with counselors while I was away dealing with the guilt and I fully accept that I was wrong and that I have no excuses for my appalling behavior. I just have to apologize and hope that at least someone will forgive me, or I don’t know what my future looks like here in Rosewood.
I’ve applied for colleges out of state. I never intended to hang around once I graduated. But everything’s changed now.
My priorities have changed. The easiest thing would be to stay. I’ve got my new pool house and the support of my parents here. But if I bump into someone who hates me every time I turn a corner, then I’m not sure they’re enough to really keep me here.
Once my tears clear enough for me to drive home safely, I make my way back.
It’s not all that late, but still the house is in darkness when I pull up into the driveway. I make my way around the back and let myself into my new little home.
I breathe a sigh of relief the second I shut myself inside.
No one can hurt me here.
FIERCE: A High School Enemies to Lovers Romance (Rosewood High Book 4) Page 3
