Her chest heaves as her breaths race past her parted lips.
She needs this as much as I do. I have no idea what I’d have done if she’d have turned me away like she did the other night. Hell, she might still do so.
That thought spurs me on.
The second she arches her back for me, I slip my hand behind her to unhook her bra.
She moans loudly as I pull the fabric from her body.
Her nipples are pert and ready for me.
Fuck, this girl has my head all kinds of fucked-up.
I hate her.
I want her.
I shouldn’t have her.
I can’t help myself.
“Shane,” she moans. “Please.”
I stare up at her as she looks down at me.
I should walk away and not look back. There’s no way that this is anything short of a disaster waiting to happen. But I fear after just one taste all those weeks ago that I’m already in too deep.
Tension crackles between us as neither of us moves and only the sound of our heavy, labored breathing can be heard.
“Shane? I thought you came here with a plan in mind,” she taunts. “Or aren’t you man enou—fuck,” she cries when I dive forward and suck one of her rosy nipples into my mouth.
Her fingers dive into my hair to hold me in place and she groans in pleasure under me. I switch to the other side as my fingers trail down her sides to pull at her pants.
My lips leave her as she lifts her hips, allowing me to drag the fabric down her legs. She kicks her pants from her feet so I don’t have to pull away to rid her of the clothing.
Sitting up, I stare down at her laid bare before me.
She’s so fucking beautiful. Her slim body is flawless perfection and clearly shows all the hours she puts into her sport.
I can’t get e-fucking-nough.
Skimming my hands down her thighs, her hips writhe with her need for more.
“What do you need?”
“You,” she moans. “Y-your mouth.”
I swallow nervously. She has no idea—I don’t think—that our time together before was a first for me. Unlike most of the rest of the team, I don’t spend every night of the week with a different girl. I wasn’t waiting for anyone in particular. I just knew that I didn’t want it to be just anyone. I never in a million years would have thought Chelsea would have been the one to take my V-card, but now it’s happened, I can’t imagine it any other way.
“What’s wrong? You going to leave me high and dry?”
I stare at her, my head spinning with my need.
“I deserve it. You should get up and walk out now and not look back. Everyone else would.”
“Enough,” I bark, ensuring her lips slam shut immediately. “I said no talking.”
Lowering to my stomach, I wrap my hands around her thighs and focus on her core.
She’s so ready for this, and the sight has desire racing through me. My cock is impossibly hard and desperate for her touch, but for some fucked-up reason, I want to give this to her first. I want to help her leave everything behind just like I’m craving for myself.
Closing the space between us, I flatten my tongue and press it against her. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t really know what I’m doing, but as she moans, her fingers once again find their way into my hair and pull painfully hard. Not that I’m about to complain. With her taste on my tongue and her sweet scent surrounding me, I’m so fucking lost I barely know my own name. It’s exactly what I needed. What I knew she could give me.
“Shane, fuck,” she moans, her back arching in her need for more.
Releasing one of her hips, I find her entrance and slide one finger inside her.
“Yes, yes. Fuck yes,” she chants, spurring me on. I lick faster before grazing her with my teeth and add another finger stretching her open. “Oh god. Oh god.”
Her muscles clamp down on me and I keep my rhythm, desperate to feel her fall apart against me.
I remember all too well how tight she was when she came around me last time, the little noises she made as she came down from her high. It was fucking mind-blowing and I need to experience it again more than I need my next breath.
“Shane. Shane. Shannnnnne,” she screams as her body quakes beneath me. Her thighs clamp around my ears as she falls.
Standing from the bed, I drop my hands to the waistband of my pants and pop the button. My eyes stay on Chelsea as she lies lax on the bed, trying to catch her breath.
“Shane, I—” Propping herself up on her elbows, her words are cut off as she watches me push both my pants and boxers down my thighs and take myself in hand. “Fuck.”
“What?” I ask, kicking the fabric from my ankles and taking a step toward her. “You thought that was all I came for?”
She shakes her head, her eyes still locked on me. “N-no. I just thought…” She trails off as I place one knee on the edge of her bed and then the other.
“You just thought…” I prompt, reminding her that she was in the middle of saying something.
“I thought you were about to leave.”
“Not yet. I need to take what I came for first.”
Something flashes in her eyes, the fire I’m so used to as she rips me a new one, but the words don’t follow. She knows full well that she’ll only be denying herself if she turns on me right now.
However fucked-up this might be. However much we might hate each other. This right now is happening because we both need it too much. We need each other too much.
That thought is fucking terrifying.
I shouldn’t need anyone, let alone Chelsea.
Forcing the thought from my head, I crawl between her legs and find her entrance.
“Condom?” I ask, realizing that I don’t have one. Fuck.
“It’s okay, it’s safe.”
“But…”
“I haven’t been with anyone, Shane. Not since…”
My eyes fly up to meet hers. All I see is honesty staring back at me.
“Contrary to popular belief, I’m not actually a whore.”
“No, that wasn’t…” She quirks a brow. “I was just surprised.”
“No talking, remember?” she sasses, wrapping her legs around my hips and dragging me closer.
“I didn’t forget.”
She squeals as I thrust my hips forward, filling her in one swift move.
Fuck. My eyes squeeze tight as I give myself a second. She’s so hot, so tight, so fucking incredible.
Leaning over her, I wrap my hand around the back of her neck and tilt her up so I can capture her lips. I thrust again as my tongue delves into her mouth and my hand comes up to cup her breast, my fingers pinching her nipple.
“Oh god, Shane,” she mumbles against my lips as I play her body.
I was nervous as fuck that first time. I had no idea what I was doing and she was, well… Chelsea, expert at all the things. But the second I got my hands on her, everything just fell into place. It was like my body just knew what to do and the nerves fell away as she moaned and writhed against my touch.
Our tongues duel as our bodies find a rhythm that has me racing toward my release long before I’m ready for this to be over.
Chelsea’s nails scratch down my back as her slick walls ripple around me, telling me that she’s about to fall over the edge with me.
“Chelsea,” I groan. It’s half in awe and half just to remind myself that it’s her, that this is happening again.
Dropping my hand down her body, I find her clit and circle it.
She cries out, her nails digging into my skin, but the bite of pain only adds to the pleasure that’s coursing through my veins.
“Fuck. Fuck,” I groan against her lips, desperate for air but refusing to pull away from her.
“Shane,” she cries. “Oh god, Shane.”
Her entire body locks up as her pleasure slams into her. Her back arches and she throws her head back. I miss her lips immediately, but the second I open my eyes and g
et a look at her, it’s soon forgotten.
With her eyes squeezed shut, her swollen lips are parted in pleasure as she rides out her climax. Her pussy clamps down on me impossibly tight and I can’t help but fall over the edge with her.
Falling to the side of her, we both lie lax and trying to catch our breath.
The silence surrounding us becomes heavy, but it’s not with the tension that was filling the room not so long ago, it’s quickly becoming more and more awkward as neither of us says anything.
Chelsea is the first to break it, but I never could have guessed the words that fall from her lips.
“Well, that was unexpected but enjoyable.” A laugh bubbles up my throat. “But you can leave now.”
Sitting up, I stare down at her. Her hair is all over the place, her cheeks pink with exertion and her lips red from my kisses. She doesn’t make any attempt to hide the fact she’s naked and if her words weren’t so final, I’d probably have a job keeping my eyes on her face, but as it is, I’m too shocked to really notice.
“I can leave now. Wow.”
“What? Did you expect to spend the night cuddling? You got what you came for. You can go now.”
She rolls on her side, turning her back toward me.
“What? I didn’t… Chels?”
“Just go, Shane. We both know you don’t want to actually spend time with me. You just wanted that revenge fuck you talked about Saturday night. Well, you got it so off you fuck.”
“You don’t actually believe that, do you?” I place my hand on her waist and her body locks up at my touch.
“Leave.”
Knowing that I’ve got no chance of getting through to her. I reluctantly push from her bed and drag my clothes on.
She doesn’t move an inch as I prepare to leave.
With a sigh, I walk to the door, bending down to pick up my jersey as I do. Unable to stop myself, I look over my shoulder. She’s staring at the wall, but I know she’s aware of my attention because her body tenses as my eyes run up the length of her.
“Here,” I say, throwing my jersey at her. “This isn’t over.”
She opens her mouth to respond but doesn’t say anything. Assuming she’s done, I turn to leave. I’m halfway across her living area when her sob sounds out.
My fists clench, my nails digging into my palms, but I don’t turn back. I might not know her all that well, but I do know that I wasn’t meant to hear that.
The second I get in my car, I regret it.
15
Chelsea
I shouldn’t have let him go. I knew that the moment he stepped out of the room. I should have called him back, allowed him to spend some more time distracting me.
While he was here, I forgot about everything that happened today. For those few moments, I felt like me once again. Like I belonged somewhere, like someone wanted me.
I’m not stupid enough to believe it’s the truth. He might have said it wasn’t about revenge, but I’m sure he would have said anything in those few seconds before getting what he came for to make sure I agreed.
When I wake, my eyes are sore from crying once again and my muscles ache from our short time together, but that’s not the most noticeable thing.
That’s his scent.
It’s everywhere and for the briefest of moments, I believe I dreamed that he left, I allow myself to believe he’s still here with me.
But the second I open my eyes, it all comes crashing down. The bed beside me is empty, just like the rest of my pool house.
He left. He left after getting what he wanted. He’s just like the rest of the guys on the team, only he’s left more of a mark. He’s the only one—other than Jake—that I’ve ever wanted more from, needed more from. Only he has no idea. Because just like the rest of the team, he just sees me as an easy piece of ass. I allowed him to have me and now he thinks it’s his God-given right. He’s probably enjoying that everyone else hates me. It means he’s got no competition. I now really am a sure thing.
My chest aches as those short few moments from last night run through my mind. I don’t want to think about it, but I can’t stop. It’s like my brain just wants to torture me.
I think about the gentleness of his touch, the way he played my body like he had a fucking map. The way he moved, the softness of his lips. None of those actions screamed revenge and hate fuck, but it couldn’t have been anything else or he would still damn well be here.
Wouldn’t he?
If he cared, he wouldn’t just walk away. If it were anything more than a quick release, a way to prove to me that he has the power then he wouldn’t have left.
You told him to, a little voice says, and I remember the exact words that fell from my lips as I dismissed him like he was nothing.
I cover my mouth with my hand, wanting to stop the sob from erupting.
What the hell was I thinking?
Sitting up, I discover the reason for his slightly overpowering and mind-spinning scent. I’m wearing his jersey.
I should have showered after he left, but I didn’t have it in me. Instead, I pulled his shirt over my head and curled up in bed, willing my body to sleep to take me away from the memory of his touch. Only when it did claim me it was filled with vivid memories of him.
This is such a fucking mess.
Pushing from the bed, I set about getting myself ready for another shit show of a day at Rosewood High where I’m sure I’ll be chewed out by Shelly and the squad and ignored by Shane like I’m nothing more than a piece of trash he threw away.
With a sigh, I pull his jersey over my head, but before dropping it to the laundry, I can’t help but gather the fabric up to my nose and breathe him in.
I want to cling to the feelings that race around my body while I’m surrounded by him. The safety, the contentment, the belonging. But what’s the point? They’re all lies.
I’m sitting in English later that morning, my many regrets spinning around my head. I seem to be adding more to my already endless collection.
Will I ever make the right decision?
I was first in, much to our teacher’s surprise. I’m not sure I’ve ever been early to class in my life, but right now it sure beats risking running into Shelly or anyone else in the school who wants me gone, which sadly is almost all of them.
She starts talking to me about what I’ve missed while I was gone after expressing her half-hearted delight at having me back. I half listen. I know I should be more interested in what she’s telling me, but right now, as I wait for the rest of the class to appear and turn their hate stares on me, I really can’t find it in me.
A few students start to file in, most of which I don’t really know, although each and every one looks my way, even if for a very brief second.
I keep my head down, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel their stares or hear their constant whispers.
The class must be about half full when the atmosphere changes. I don’t want to look, I already know the cause but I’m powerless but to lift my head.
The second I do, my eyes lock with his green ones. His face is blank and I have no idea what he’s thinking or feeling. I hate it.
Does he regret last night? The lack of expression or care seems to hint at that.
My stomach knots. No matter how naïve, I was still hopeful things might be different this morning.
Dragging my eyes from Shane’s, I focus on the guys standing behind him. Zayn’s standing with his usual smirk playing on his lips as he looks between the two of us. Great, seems another person knows our secret. How long until the rest of the school finds out? Shane will be lynched for even talking to me, let alone touching me.
But it’s not Zayn’s amusement that really catches my attention because that’s the furious eyes of their captain who’s standing just behind Shane’s shoulder.
I gasp at the darkness of the blue eyes I used to think I knew better than my own. His stare pins me to my chair and a shudder of fear runs down my spine.
&nb
sp; Jake Thorn might be an asshole, but he’d never hurt me on purpose, of that I’m sure. But I hurt the one person who means more to him than anything else, and I know that I’m going to have to accept whatever consequences he has for me.
I know it won’t make much difference, but my lips part anyway.
“I’m sorry,” I mouth to him.
His lips purse in anger as his stare holds but it’s only a few second later when our teacher barks at them for blocking the entrance and the three of them are forced to move.
He holds my stare until he’s got no choice but to look toward his desk.
My stomach rolls and I worry that I’m going to end up running to the bathroom any minute. Thankfully, the rest of the class arrives, the teacher starts and I’m able to breathe through the nausea.
Regrets are horrible things. I hate that I hurt people that were my friends. I hate the way they look at me now with disappointment and anger laced through their features. But other than apologize, I have no idea how to fix everything I did. I know it was wrong. I know it was a massive mistake. I was just… I am… lost. I’m so desperate for those connections that I see everyone has around me. The friendships, the relationships. I’ve never had them. Never.
It should have been a natural thing with my mother, but she was too concerned about getting her next hit than she ever was about me. Honey and Derek are great, I love them in my own way, but they’re not my real parents. I don’t feel that natural bond with them. Our relationship has taken years to evolve to what it is now, and at times it wasn’t easy, but together we found our way through. They have proved to me that people don’t always let you down. They could have so easily given up on me over the years. Hell, I’ve given them enough reason to, but they’ve stood by me through every one of my mistakes and bad decisions.
I let out a sigh, wishing I had all the answers and that one day I won’t feel like such an outcast. Everyone walks around the hallways here like they belong, like they’ve found their place, but even before all of this, I never felt at home. It’s why I forced the relationships I did form. The girls in the squad needed to be friends with me if they wanted to keep their place, the football team accepted me because I had something to offer. Not one of them wanted me for me. I’m pretty sure no one has ever wanted me for me.
FIERCE: A High School Enemies to Lovers Romance (Rosewood High Book 4) Page 11
