“My father didn’t believe me,” I said after a long moment. River lowered the book and looked at me, but didn’t say anything. He just waited. “He didn’t believe me about my cousin when I told him. He said he wouldn’t bother Esteban because of everything he’d been through and then kicked me to the curb like I was Thursday’s trash.” I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged myself.
“I’m so angry. And sad. But mostly, angry. For years I wanted my father to call me, to forgive me for the picture I didn’t remember taking. To be proud of me for everything I’d accomplished and . . . ” I shook my head and swallowed again. “For what? He didn’t even side with his own daughter.”
“He didn’t know how.”
I glanced up and met River’s gaze again. The room was dark, but I could swear I saw the compassion in his eyes.
“Sometimes men don’t know how to deal with the mistakes of another, so they ignore them instead.” He shut his book and set it down, sitting back in the daybed and stretching his long legs out. “We make excuses for ourselves in hopes for our salvation. We ignore others’ wrongdoings so that we don’t have to look too closely at our own. It’s the way we survive.”
“That doesn’t make what he did okay.”
“It doesn’t.”
“It doesn’t make what you did okay.”
“I’ve learned to live with my sins, little witch. I don’t need your judgment, or your penance.”
“I’m not a witch.” I felt myself scowl.
River looked like he wanted to smile, but didn’t.
I yawned loudly. “I can’t believe I’d actually go to sleep after all of that.”
“Sleep.” He stood up and walked over to one of the gas lamps, switching it off. He was wearing khaki pants and a white button-down and didn’t look ready for bed at all.
“Will you . . . ” I bit my lip. “Are you going to stay?”
“Do you want me to?” He paused by the fireplace. “After everything?”
I nodded. I didn’t know why. It didn’t make sense. I should be angry with him. I should never want to see his face again. And yet . . . I sighed. River turned around and clicked another lamp off before walking over to the bed and sliding under the covers. I lowered my legs and scooted farther down in bed until my head was on the pillow.
“I had a dream about you.” I licked my lips.
“A good dream?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Hm.”
I turned in bed, facing him, even though now the room was pitch black and there was no chance of me seeing him at all. “Do you dream?”
“Everyone dreams.”
“Do you have good dreams?”
“Only when you’re in them.” I could hear the smile in his voice when he said it, so I knew he was making a joke. My face went hot anyway. God. If he only knew the dream he’d starred in. “Good night, little witch. I hope you dream about me again tonight.”
I opened my eyes to the sound of murmuring voices nearby and turned to see that River was no longer beside me. When I sat up, I followed the sound of the voices to the door, which was slightly parted. River wasn’t there though, but I could make out a dog standing there. A large dog. A wolf. As if sensing me, the wolf looked over at me, yellow eyes glowing in the darkness, and looked away once more. The person on the other side of the door said something else, but this time no one answered. I held the comforter higher on my chest. For some reason, the wolf didn’t elicit fear in me the way you’d think an animal known to be vicious would. I wanted to stay up, wanted to keep my eyes open, but instead, I lay back down and closed them.
When I woke a second time, I sat up quickly, looking around. There were two lamps on now and no River in bed again, but I could hear the faint sound of the shower so I assumed he was in there. The bedroom door opened suddenly, and I gripped the comforter tightly. If I saw Esteban again I wasn’t sure what I’d do. Run? Scream? What could I do to a ghost that could touch me? It was Mayra.
“Breakfast is served.”
“Oh. Okay.” I felt myself frown. “Aren’t you supposed to knock?”
“I never knock on Master Caliban’s door.” She smiled a small, secretive smile that spoke volumes. He’d said they weren’t lovers. Had he lied? Did it matter? I was quick to gather my bearings. I’d had a hell of a night. If I could face a ghost from my past, surely I could flick off a little gnat like Mayra.
“Well, please knock next time. After all, I am staying here as well, and I don’t wear clothes to bed.” I smiled the same secretive smile right back. She glared and shut the door with a loud thump.
The bathroom door opened. I hadn’t even heard the water turn off, but River was standing there bare chested, wearing khaki pants as he towel dried his hair.
“That was Mayra. She wanted you to know breakfast is ready.” I stood from the bed and walked over to the bathroom, feeling inexplicable anger rise with each step I took. I brushed past him and walked into the bathroom, ignoring the pull, ignoring the sudden, insane urge to claim him as mine. Instead, I kept my voice steady. “I need the bathroom now.”
“She’s not my lover.” He dropped his hand, letting the towel in his hand hang.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to you.”
“Why would it matter to me?” I scowled, crossing my arms and glancing away, but my eyes got caught on our reflections in the mirror and on his golden flesh and ripped body.
“That’s a question you need to ask yourself.”
“No, I don’t.” I looked away from the mirror and up at his face. “What I need to do is get out of here.”
“You agreed to stay the week.”
“I know, and I will. That doesn’t mean I want to.”
He set his mouth into a thin line and nodded once before walking away from me. When he was gone, I shut the bathroom door and went about my business. I’d dragged the trunk of clothing in here yesterday and was grateful that it was still here. Today, I dressed in a dark green shift dress and black heels, hoping it would serve as the pick me up I needed to get through this. Two more days. I brushed out my hair from the braid I’d slept in and let it cascade over my shoulders. When I finished, I walked back into the bedroom, where I found River sitting on the daybed, reading the same book he was reading yesterday. He was wearing khaki pants, black loafers, and a white button-down shirt. He looked all the bit prep school graduate, the type that had a sailboat and an expensive vacation home somewhere along a coast. I couldn’t imagine that would be the case for River though.
“You done staring?” he asked, not looking up from his book.
“Yes.” I glanced toward the door. There was no use in denying that it was what I’d been doing.
“Good. Let’s go have some breakfast.” He shut the book with a loud thump and set it down.
“You’re not even going to mark your page?” I glanced at the book and back at him when he stood. Even with the three-inch heels I wore, he loomed over me. “Won’t you lose your place?”
“It won’t matter. I’ve read it before.” He started walking toward the door. I followed quickly, my heels clicking loudly against the marble.
“That huge book?” My eyes widened. “Why are you reading it again?”
“Why does anyone reread a book or rewatch a movie?” He looked over at me as we headed down the stairs. “It brings a sense of comfort.”
“I don’t read much.”
“That’s a pity.”
“Why’s it a pity?” I let out a laugh.
“I pity those who can’t get lost in fictional worlds.”
“Oh. I mean, I read magazines and message boards on the internet about old houses and photography, but I don’t read many books.”
“Like I said, pity.”
When we reached the first floor, I was surprised to see everything looked immaculate, as if there had been no party at all.
“Where’d everyone go?” I asked as we walked to the dining room.
> “Home.”
“I thought you said they couldn’t get out of here.” I felt myself frown as I sat in the same chair I’d sat in yesterday. River took a seat across from me.
“The tide lowered and they were able to after all.”
“Hm.” My frown deepened. The food was already laid out for us and we dug in right away. Well, I did. River let me serve my plate first. I sipped on my coffee and looked up at him. “I saw you last night. You were a wolf.”
“A wolf?” He raised an eyebrow. “A protector. That’s what your kind would say about that dream.”
“My kind?” I let out a laugh. “You mean humans?”
“Sure.”
His answer gave me pause. He’d already told me he was human, but the way he said sure like that, so flippantly, filled me with turmoil. Even more so because I realized that despite myself, I wanted to believe in someone, maybe even dream a little like one of the characters in the fictional stories he liked to read. It didn’t make any sense, especially since by my own account I was dying to leave this place, but still. Far be it from crazy for me to be attracted to someone who didn’t even end up being part of the human race. Maybe he was lying and was really a ghost, like Esteban. I met his gaze. He was watching me closely. Waiting.
“Are you human?” I asked, my voice a near whisper.
“Back to this?” He chuckled. “I’m whatever you need me to be.”
“What does that mean?”
“If you want me to be a wolf, I’ll be a wolf. If you want me to be your lover, I’ll be your lover.” His gaze darkened. “But yes, I am human. I’m not a ghost or some creature of the night if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I’m not worried about it.” I cleared my throat, still trying to get over the lovers bit. “Why is it always so dark in here? Doesn’t it drive you mad?”
“Why would it drive me mad? It’s all I’ve ever known.”
“You never answered my question the other day. Did you go to university? Or school in general?” I asked, correcting myself quickly. Maybe he’d been homeschooled.
“I did.”
“Up to what grade?”
“Year four of medical school.” His mouth curved. He was so amused by my questions and so damn sexy when he looked that way. I wasn’t sure which of the two was more maddening.
“Medical school?” I raised an eyebrow. “I take it you didn’t finish?”
“I didn’t.”
“But year four? You were so close to finishing. What happened?”
“Life.” He sighed heavily.
“Hm. Where’d you attend undergrad?”
“Cambridge.”
My brows rose. “And medical school?”
“Cambridge.”
My jaw dropped momentarily. “Why are you here?”
“This is my home.” He chuckled deeply. “Where else would I be?”
“This is your parents’ home. You could easily get your own or finish your studies. Why didn’t you finish?”
“My father needs me here right now and he needed someone to take charge of his investments.”
“So medical school was set aside.”
He nodded. That was commendable. It was the right thing to do. It was what my father would have wanted me to do had things gone differently between us. Then again, hindsight was twenty-twenty. It was probably something he wanted Esteban to do. Thinking about my father and Esteban made my stomach roll. I was no longer hungry.
“So my friends left without me.” I glanced toward the ballroom, where everyone had been drinking and dancing last night.
“They’ll be back tonight. It is a weeklong event, after all.” He set his napkin down beside his plate. “I expect you’ll want to join the festivities again?”
“I’m not sure I do.” I pursed my lips. “I want to see my friends, but I don’t think I want a repeat of last night.”
“That’s fair.”
“And I don’t want to dress to the nines again.”
“You look beautiful regardless of what you wear.”
I bit my lip and glanced away in hopes of hiding my blush. I needed to gather my bearings if I was going to stick around two more days. The last thing I needed was to hand my heart over to the Devil over some stupid leaves.
Chapter Twenty-One
River went to the study to take some phone calls, but I couldn’t bring myself to walk anywhere near it even after he told me that ghosts didn’t cling to one specific room. I started heading back to the bedroom, but as I neared the stairs, I spotted Sarah walking out of the hallway.
“Well, hello, dear.” She smiled brightly. “Are you busy?”
“No, I was just going back upstairs.”
“Walk with me.”
“Sure.” I followed her to the back of the house. “I didn’t see you at the party last night.”
“Oh. I heard you had a bit of a scare.” She looked over at me. It was so strange to see her up close like this after a lifetime of seeing faded pictures.
“I saw a ghost.”
“A nice one or a bad one?”
“A familiar one.”
“Those are the worst kind, aren’t they?” Her nose scrunched up. “Sometimes it’s best to do what they ask and let go of the past.”
“Are you speaking from experience?”
“I am.” She pulled open the door that led to the backyard and let me walk through first. The fog was heavier than it was yesterday, swirling all around us like a snake. “I don’t think there will be a party after all tonight,” she mused, looking around. “The conditions aren’t ideal for travel.”
“Do you ever leave this island?”
“Of course, I do.” She smiled. “I’ve spent a lot of time in France. In Spain. In Lisbon. I feel happiest there.”
“Why not move then?”
“My husband needs me.” She smiled softly. “You asked if I speak from experience in regards to the ghosts.” She stopped walking when we reached a tree. The tree. She began cutting leaves and putting them in a small wicker basket that was sitting beneath it. As she cut them, she looked at me. “My ex-husband haunted me in the beginning.”
“In the beginning?” I frowned. “But he wasn’t dead.”
“Not physically, no, and yet, he haunted me just the same.”
“How? Why?”
“I suspect he was clinging on to hope that I’d come back.” She stopped clipping, folded the scissors, and put them away in the basket, sitting down underneath the tree and patting the spot beside her. I walked closer and sat down, folding my legs to the side. The grass was surprisingly dry.
“So he haunted you because he wanted you to go back to him,” I said. “Do you think maybe it was your own guilt for leaving that haunted you?”
“No. Not really. I was horrified when Wilfred chose me. I mean, I was already the talk of the town. I’d been married five years and had no children, and when that night came and Wilfred announced it was me he wanted, I . . . it was shocking to everyone.”
“I bet. Men usually don’t pick married women.”
“Not for lack of wanting them or because of decency.” She shot me a look. “I knew many women having affairs, but they’d never do anything to display it openly.” She glanced back at the wicker basket on her lap. “My marriage was awful. My husband ridiculed me for not being able to get pregnant and we’d just had a huge fight about my worth and how little I was contributing, so when Wilfred called my name, despite reason, despite knowing how awful it would make me look, I was glad.”
“It sounds like he saved you in a way.”
“In many ways.” She smiled. “And I saved him in many ways as well. River was in boarding school at the time. They’d just lost Rosie, River’s birth mother.” She looked at me. “The house shook when I got here. Visibly shook, as if grieving. I know the island is dark and can be a little spooky, but the house isn’t the problem, it’s the curse that looms over it.”
“The curse set on it by
my family.”
“I’ve been told you don’t believe in curses, but if you were to see a picture of the house before the curse and after you’d be forced to question that notion.”
“Is there a way to get rid of it?”
She smiled sadly. “Some of the staff thinks that when my husband dies, the curse will lift. They could be right. There’s no telling. You know what they say about the island though.”
“It takes one and gives another back,” I whispered.
Sarah nodded slowly, sadly, and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was any other way, one that didn’t require death.
Chapter Twenty-Two
River
He thought there must be another way. It had taken six years to get her back on Pan Island and a lifetime to get her on Dolos Island, and yet he wanted to look for another way. Any way that would spare both of their lives, but it seemed impossible. Maybe it was a doomed plan from the beginning. Maybe he should do what he was supposed to and take her to the cave, to the part of the island where, according to legend, according to the man in black, he could reverse all of this. He could restore everything back as it once was. He hadn’t expected to enjoy her company as much as he did. He hadn’t expected to enjoy laughter. Or light. Or any of the things he often read about but hadn’t truly experienced in this way. He hadn’t expected her to be the way she was, and so, he had to look for another way.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Penelope
It was dark and dreary, which wasn’t a surprise, but it was also raining hard outside, and that hadn’t happened since I’d arrived. I sighed, stepping away from the window and going back to the dinner table. River, Sarah, and I had finished having dinner, and she excused herself to go back to her room, leaving him and me here. We’d dressed for the party—him in a tuxedo, me in a floor-length silver and ivory gown. I’d said I didn’t want to dress up, but when I saw it, I couldn’t not wear it. It was similar to last night’s in that it was also simple, also made of fine silk, and also didn’t allow me to wear a bra.
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