He breathed a sigh of relief when the cabin finally came into sight. He pulled to a stop in the backyard for Anna and Rani to get out. Simon rode past him toward the barn.
Anna hopped out and motioned for Noah to come with her. The boy climbed down, took her hand, and walked with her into the house. Rani didn’t move.
Matthew swiveled in his seat to glance over his shoulder. She hadn’t moved from the back seat, and her dark eyes bored holes into him. He would have expected to see anger in her gaze, but he didn’t. Instead she had the look he’d often seen on wounded animals, and it broke his heart.
“Rani…”
She held up her hand. “I just wanted to tell you that I will finish making all the bricks for your chimney. I should have them completed in the next few weeks. If you want Mr. Davis to begin laying them then, I suggest you get to work on the cabin. You need to be in it by fall.”
“Thank you for doing that. I don’t want to put you to any trouble, though.”
“Maybe you should have thought about that before you told me you loved me. Compared to what I’m feeling now, making a few bricks won’t be any problem at all.”
“Rani, please know I never meant to hurt you. I’m doing this for your own good.”
“Well, excuse me if I don’t thank you,” she sneered. “I’m afraid I can’t see how the way I feel right now is better for me. But I’m not going to belabor the subject. You don’t have to worry about me begging you to change your mind. I will never do that. I’m just sorry that you’ve thrown away what could have been the best thing in your life.”
Before he could answer, she jumped out of the buggy and ran into the cabin. His head drooped, and he closed his eyes. She was right. She was the best thing he’d ever had in his life, and he had thrown it away. He’d done it for her good, but even knowing that didn’t make the hurt any easier for him.
He flicked the reins across the horse’s back and headed toward the barn. Simon was waiting for him when he climbed from the buggy. “What’s this I hear about you moving back to your farm today?”
Matthew busied himself unhitching the horse from the buggy and tried to keep from making eye contact with Simon. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome, and I have a lot to do there. I’m using up a lot of time traveling back and forth.”
Simon placed his hand on Matthew’s arm. “Has something happened to make you feel unwelcome? I know Rani was a little hard on you at first, but I thought the two of you had become friends.”
“We have. I just think it’s time for me to go. Besides, you have Noah now. He can sleep in Stephen’s room.”
“Matthew, quit unhitching that horse and look at me.” Simon’s voice vibrated with the authority Matthew had often heard him use when he was a child. Matthew turned to look at him. “I know something’s happened, and I’m not letting you leave here until you tell me what it is.”
Matthew swallowed hard. “Please, just let me go.”
“No. What has caused this sudden decision? Maybe I’m wrong, and you and Rani aren’t friends. Are you leaving because of her?”
“Yes, but…”
“What has she done? Tell me, and I’ll make her apologize. I won’t have you leave here because she’s done something to make you feel unwelcome.”
Matthew raked his hand through his hair and groaned. “Simon, please don’t…”
Simon took a step closer and glared at him. “I know she’s headstrong, but I won’t have her being rude to guests in our home.”
Matthew sighed and rubbed his hand across his eyes. “She hasn’t been rude to me, Simon. In fact, it’s just the opposite.”
A puzzled look flashed across Simon’s face. “Just the opposite?” Then his mouth dropped open, and his eyes widened. “You’re not saying that you and Rani…”
“I love her, Simon.”
A confused expression flitted across Simon’s face, and he blinked his eyes. “But when did this happen? You barely know each other.”
“It may seem like it’s sudden to you, but not to me. I’ve never known anyone like her.”
Simon’s shook his head in disbelief, and then his eyes darkened. “You’ve been a guest in our home for weeks, Matthew, and you haven’t said a word about this to Anna or me. Rani is still a young girl with romantic notions, but you’re a man. You shouldn’t have kept this from us.”
Regret washed over Matthew. Now he had something else to add to his list of mistakes. “You’re right, Simon. All I can say is I’m sorry. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
The stern look on Simon’s face relaxed, and he exhaled. “Of course I’ll forgive you, but I’m still having trouble taking this in. When did this attachment between the two of you begin?”
“For me, from the beginning. I think I fell in love with her the first time I saw her at the mountain laurel bush at my cabin. Can you understand that?”
Simon’s stern expression gave way to a smile. “Yes, I can. I knew I loved Anna the first time I saw her.”
“As for not telling you, we decided to take it slow and see what happened. I know I’ll never love anybody like I love her.”
Simon blinked and shook his head. “Then I don’t understand. If you love each other like you say, why are you leaving?”
“I’m leaving because I’m Luke Jackson’s son.” Matthew almost spat the words from his mouth. “And like my father I’ve done a lot of things I’m ashamed of. Things I don’t want her to ever know, but they’ve made me what I am. Rani is your daughter, and she deserves better than being tied to somebody like me.”
Simon let out a sound that was half laugh, half cry. “Oh, Matthew, have you forgotten all I taught you? God stands willing to forgive whatever we’ve done. He doesn’t want us to live in the past. He wants to give us hope for a better life.”
“And that’s why I came home. I wanted a better life. I thought it might be possible until today at Wade’s cabin.”
Simon frowned. “What happened?”
Matthew took a deep breath. “I knew there were folks in the Cove who wouldn’t forget my father, and today I found out for sure. I was in the barn with Noah when Wade came home. When he found out who I was, he pulled a gun on me. He said he knew I had come for revenge. I tried to tell him he was wrong, but then Rani walked in. She placed herself between me and Wade’s gun.”
Simon’s face paled. “She did what?”
Matthew gritted his teeth. “I was scared he was going to shoot her, but she wouldn’t move. I tried to pick her up and move her out of the way, but she fought me. Then she faced Wade and gave him a tongue-lashing. I thought Wade was going to shoot us both.”
Simon let out a long breath and slumped down on the buggy step. He rested his elbow on the wheel and covered his eyes with his trembling hand. “When Wade’s been drinking as he was today, there’s no reasoning with him. She could have been killed.”
“I know. When he finally left, Rani and I had an argument. I told her how my mother would stand in front of me and take the beatings my father intended for me, and I vowed I would never put another person I love in danger again. I love Rani too much for her to be hurt because of me.”
Simon didn’t move for a moment. Then he straightened and rose to his feet. “Thank you for telling me this, Matthew. And thank you for wanting to protect my daughter. But we both know how determined she can be. She may not accept your decision.”
“She’ll have to because it’s final. I won’t do anything to encourage her, and I’ll stay away from your home. She said she would finish the bricks. Maybe you can bring them to my cabin or let me know when they’re ready, and I’ll come get them.”
Simon shook his head. “I’ll bring them over. What about your clothes?”
“I only have a few left inside. Just bring them when you do the bricks. I don’t want to run into her again.”
Simon grasped Matthew’s shoulder and squeezed. “I’m sorry about all this. I remember how it hurt when I thought I had lost Anna. I’ll pray tha
t God will show you what He has planned for you and Rani. It may not be His will for the two of you to be together, but He may also have plans we know nothing about.”
“Thank you, Simon. I appreciate that.” Matthew inhaled. “Now I’ll put your horse up and get out of here.”
Simon shook his head. “No need for that. I’ll put the horse in the barn. You go on. You’ve already missed out on a day’s work. I’ll be over to check on you in a day or two.”
Matthew nodded and turned toward the barn. “I’ll look forward to seeing you.”
“One more thing, Matthew,” said Simon, reaching out a hand to the young man. “If you ever want to talk to me about what happened after your mother died, I’ll be willing to listen. I’m not a judge, just a preacher who’s loved you since you were a boy. Maybe you’ve judged your actions too harshly because you’re afraid you’re going to be like your father. I’m willing to help any way I can.”
“I know you are, but I don’t think there’s anything that can help me. Just take care of Rani. She needs you more than I do. I’m sorry I’ve hurt her so. I should never have come back here.” He turned toward the barn but stopped and faced Simon. “And I really am sorry about not telling you and Anna about my feelings for Rani. I guess I always knew nothing was going to come of it. It always turns out that way for me.”
He hurried into the barn to saddle his horse. When he reached the stall, he covered his face with his hands and sagged against the wall. He’d had such hopes the day he rode back into the valley. He knew there would be those who wouldn’t welcome him, but he’d never dreamed he’d meet a woman who would capture his heart the moment he saw her.
Now he had made a mess of that like he had everything else in his life. He hadn’t been able to protect his mother and brother, he’d made enemies everywhere he’d worked, and now he’d broken Rani’s heart. Simon was wrong. God didn’t have any plans for him. He was destined to make the same mistakes over and over again. Just like his father had done.
Chapter 14
Simon’s legs were shaking so hard that he didn’t think he could make it to the cabin without falling. He stared at the back door and counted each step until he stumbled into the kitchen and sank down at the table. He propped his elbows on the tabletop and buried his face in his hands.
How could Rani have been so foolish as to put herself in Wade’s line of fire? The very thought sent chills down his spine and made him sick to his stomach. Oh, God, he silently prayed, I did it once, but I don’t think I could survive the loss of another child. Thank You for sparing Rani’s life.
He sat there with his shoulders shaking for several minutes before he heard footsteps and looked up to see Anna standing in the door from the front room. Concern lined her face. “Simon, are you all right? What’s the matter?”
He took a deep breath and pushed to his feet. “Where’s Noah?”
“He’s in the other room with Granny. She’s telling him a Bible story. Did you want to see him?”
He shook his head. “No, I want to see Rani. Do you know where she is?”
“She headed for her room the minute we came inside. I haven’t seen her since. Why do you want to see her?”
“We both need to talk with her.”
Anna frowned. “You look upset. Has she done something?”
“Yes.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I was afraid of that when she said Matthew was leaving today. If she’s offended him in some way, I want to know what it is.”
He reached out, grasped her hand, and held it for a moment. He didn’t know if he could say the words or not. Finally he took a deep breath. “I had a talk with Matthew, and he told me what happened at Wade’s farm. It has shaken me to the bone, Anna. I wish I didn’t have to tell you this, but I feel I must.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Simon, you’re scaring me. Tell me what happened.”
“All right.” He licked his lips. “It all began when Wade came home and found Matthew in the barn with Noah.”
As he continued his story, he watched her face change from puzzlement to shock to fear. When he’d finished, she reached out and grabbed the back of one of the kitchen chairs. She closed her eyes and held onto it for a moment. Her lips were clamped together, and her body shook as if it were experiencing spasms.
“She could have been killed,” she finally whispered.
He put his arm around her to steady her. “Yes.”
They held each other for a few minutes, each lost in thought of how they had almost lost another of their children. After a few minutes, Simon released her and cleared his throat. “We need to talk to her right away. Let’s go to her room.”
Anna wiped the tears at the corners of her eyes and followed him down the narrow hallway. They stopped at the closed door to Rani’s room and knocked. “Rani,” Simon said, “are you in there?”
He could barely make out her muffled reply. “Yes, Poppa.”
“Your mother and I want to talk with you. We’re coming in.”
He eased the door open and they stepped into the room. Rani lay facedown on the bed, but she pushed into a sitting position when they entered. She wiped at her eyes, but couldn’t disguise the fact that she’d been crying.
“Wh-what d-do you want?” she stammered.
They walked to the bed and sat on either side of her. Anna glanced up, and Simon knew she wanted him to take the lead in the conversation. “Rani,” he began, “I had a talk with Matthew after we got home, and he told me what happened at Wade’s house. I have to tell you that your mother and I are very concerned. You could have been killed today.”
Her eyes grew wide, and she looked from one to the other. “I’m sorry if I’ve caused you any worry, but I really don’t think I was in danger. Wade was just trying to scare Matthew. Besides, Noah was there, and he wouldn’t have shot his son.”
Simon shook his head. “You don’t know that for sure. But we’re thankful you’re safe and that no one was hurt.” He paused for breath. “However, that was a very foolish thing for you to do. We love you and don’t want you to place yourself in a situation like that again. Your mother and I don’t want to lose another child.” His voice cracked. “You’re the only daughter we will ever have, and I don’t think we could survive if something happened to you.”
A sob ripped from Rani’s throat as she threw her arms around her father. “Oh, Poppa, I didn’t think about that. I’m so sorry. But it scared me so when I opened that door and saw that gun pointed at Matthew.” She then turned to her mother and hugged her. “I’m sorry, Mama. I won’t do anything like that again.”
A tear slipped from Anna’s eye, and she hugged Rani close. “You act before you think sometimes, darling. You have to be more careful. I love you so much.”
“I love you too, Mama. And I’m sorry I upset you.”
Simon cleared his throat and glanced at Anna. “Good. Now that we are agreed about your future safety, let’s talk about your happiness. Matthew tells me that the two of you have feelings for each other.”
A surprised look flashed across her face. “I can’t believe he told you that.”
“Well, he did,” Simon said, “and I have to tell you I’m disappointed you didn’t feel like you could tell your mother and me. You and Matthew should have been honest with us.”
Fresh tears ran down her face. “Maybe I was afraid you wouldn’t approve. But I was happier than I’ve ever been, and I wanted to enjoy it without hearing why Matthew might not be the man for me.”
Anna reached for her hand. “He is a bit older than you, Rani, and he has a lot of memories that have scarred him. If we had disapproved, it would only have been because we love you and don’t want to see you hurt.”
Rani squeezed her mother’s hand. “Well, after the hateful things he said today, I know how wrong I was not to tell you.”
Simon reached for her other hand and covered it with his. “He wasn’t being hateful, Rani. He was honest. He has a lot in his past th
at causes him pain, and he doesn’t want you hurt because of it. He’s only trying to protect you.”
Her body began to shake, and tears poured from her eyes. “But I love him so. I just want to be with him. He has a wonderful plan for his farm, and I wanted to be a part of it. Now he’s turned his back on me.” She turned to face Anna. “Mama, how could he do that if he loves me?”
Anna shook her head. “I don’t know what’s in his heart, Rani. I only know the journey toward the one you love is often filled with heartache. But you’re young. You’ll meet someone else, and you’ll fall in love again.”
Rani’s eyelids drooped, and she shook her head. “I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that things didn’t work out with Matthew. I’ve always known God wouldn’t let me be happy in life.”
Anna’s eyes grew wide. “What are you talking about?”
Rani clasped her hands in her lap and stared down at them. “It was my fault Willie died,” she whispered. “I took him from you and Poppa, and I’ve always known God would take something from me. I…I didn’t want it to be Matthew, though.”
Her last words died with a wail before she fell into Anna’s arms and buried her face against her mother’s chest. Anna’s face had paled, and Simon knew his must look the same. He touched Rani’s shoulder. “Rani, Willie’s death wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was,” she cried out. “I should have watched him like Mama said, and then he wouldn’t have died.”
Anna gritted her teeth and pushed Rani into a sitting position. “No, Rani, it wasn’t your fault. It was mine. Willie came in the kitchen and wanted to stay and watch me work. I told him I didn’t need him underfoot while I was so busy. I made him go outside. If I had kept him with me, he’d still be alive. I’ve always blamed myself, not you.”
Simon stretched his arms to embrace them. “No, you’re both wrong. I was going fishing with John that morning, and Willie begged me to let him go. The last time I took him he’d thrown rocks in the water and scared all the fish off. So I told him he had to stay home. There’s no way I’ll ever forgive myself for not taking him with me. If I had, he’d still be alive.”
Mountain Homecoming Page 19
