Matthew nodded. “Yes. I’ve always kept it with me.”
Simon sat back down and flipped through the pages. “I remember when you were a boy, you told me you had put your trust in God and wanted to follow Him. Do you still believe that?”
“Yes, but for years I acted like He didn’t exist. I’ve failed Him in so many ways.”
“We all have failed at times, Matthew. But He’s always ready to forgive us for faltering in our faith. You’ve had this fear all your life that you’re going to be like your father. The truth is that all children are affected by the actions of their parents. You lived with your father’s abuse and drunken rages. You convinced yourself that since his blood runs in your veins, your life would be just like his. But have you thought about Jesus’s blood? He shed it to give you a life free from sin and doubt.”
Matthew frowned. “I know that, but it’s hard to forget what I’ve done in the past.”
“I understand that. But you need to focus on Jesus and what He promised in the Scriptures. You’ve let the fear of being like your father control you for years. You need to quit dwelling on that and think on the promise we’re given in 2 Corinthians 5:17. ‘Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.’”
“But Simon, how can He forgive me for injuring, and maybe crippling, all those men?”
“I wish I knew how many times someone has asked me how God can forgive horrible sins we’ve committed. The answer lies in one little word, Matthew. It’s grace. When we sin, we don’t deserve His favor or His mercy, but He gives it freely. It’s difficult for us to understand how He could love us that much, but He does. God stands willing to forgive you for what you did, but it sounds like it’s going to be harder for you to forgive yourself.”
Tears ran down Matthew’s cheeks. “I don’t know if I ever can.”
Simon pressed Naomi’s Bible into Matthew’s hands. “Do you believe the words in this book like your mother did?”
“I do,” he whispered.
“Then put the past behind you and become the new creature God wants to make of you. You can’t run the rest of your life. It’s time you faced up to the past.”
“How do I do that?”
“You pray and ask God to forgive you for what you’ve done. Ask Him to take the guilt out of your heart and replace it with peace and strength to live your life for Him.”
Matthew pushed to his feet and strode across the room. He stopped with his back to Simon and raked his hand through his hair. After a moment he turned, retraced his steps, and came to a stop in front of Simon. “It can’t be that simple. There has to be more to it than that.”
Simon put his hand on Matthew’s shoulder and sighed. “Don’t try to make something difficult out of something so easy. The Bible tells us that we’re going to have tribulations in the world, but Jesus stands willing to give us the peace we need to face them. All you have to do is ask Him.”
Matthew’s lips trembled. “I want that peace, Simon.”
“Then ask Him to help you find it.”
Matthew dropped to his knees in front of the bench and clutched the Bible to his chest. “Oh, God, help me. I asked You into my life when I was a boy. But somewhere along the way, I forgot about You. Forgive me for the things I’ve done and the people I’ve hurt. Help me be the kind of man my mother would want me to be. Show me how to let go of the past, Lord. Make me that new creature the Bible speaks of.”
Simon knelt beside him and placed his arm around Matthew’s shoulders. “You’ve taken your first step toward letting your past die, Matthew. Now you need to study God’s word and discover the man that’s inside you waiting to be born. His name is not Luke Jackson. It’s Matthew Jackson, and he’s got a life to live free from guilt and the fears of the past.”
Matthew stared into the face of the man he’d always admired more than any other and smiled. “I think I’m on my way to finding him, Simon.”
David stopped the car in front of Uncle Charles’s house and swiveled in the seat to face Rani. “I enjoyed having supper with you tonight, Rani. I hope we can do it again soon.”
Rani laughed and shook her head. “David, we’ve had supper together nearly every night this week, and you’ve said the same thing every night when we’ve gotten home.”
He grinned, and the dimple in his cheek winked at her. “It’s my way of reminding you that I enjoy your company and want to spend more time with you.”
“I enjoy your company too. I’m sure we will be together more. In fact, if I remember correctly, Uncle Charles asked you to come to supper tomorrow night.”
David put his arm on the back of the seat, and his fingers touched her shoulder. “That he did. I suppose he thought the only way he was going to get to see you was to invite me over. I hope he doesn’t think we’re spending too much time together.”
She shook her head. “No, he understands how hard I’ve been working to get ready for the exhibit, and he appreciates all the help you’ve been to me.”
He leaned closer, and his arm slid around her shoulders. “I enjoy the time in the studio with you, but it’s the after-hours time that’s beginning to interest me more.”
Rani’s throat went dry, and she swallowed. “I’ve enjoyed that too.”
His other arm encircled her, and he pulled her closer. “We’ve only known each other for a few months, but you must have figured out that I’m crazy about you, Rani.”
She stared into the eyes that held her captive. “Y-you are?”
“Yes.” His hand slid up her neck, and his fingers stroked her hair. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I think about you all the time.”
“I think about you too, David, but…”
His finger touched her lips. “Don’t say it. He’s gone, Rani, and I’m here. We’re a good match. We have the same interests, we work well together, and we never fight.”
The memory of the heated words she and Matthew had spoken at times flashed through her mind, and she realized she and David didn’t clash like that. Maybe they were a good match. “We do seem to get along well together.” Her gaze drifted over the interior of the car. “But there are other things to consider. Your family is wealthy and can afford to give you anything you want, like this car for instance. I’m a girl from a poor family in a remote mountain valley. I’m sure your family wants something better for you.”
“There is no one better than you. I’m not pressuring you into anything right now, Rani. I only wanted you to know how I feel. Think about what I’ve said.”
“I will.”
He lowered his head, and she raised her lips to meet his. She closed her eyes and tried to push Matthew’s face from her mind, but she couldn’t.
Uncle Charles was already seated at the breakfast table when Rani came into the kitchen the next morning. His eyes lit up when he saw her, and he set his coffee cup down.
“Good morning. I wondered if I was going to see you this morning since you spend so much time other places.”
She laughed and kissed him on the cheek before she settled in her chair. She picked up her napkin and spread it in her lap. “I’m spending a lot of hours getting my pieces for the exhibit finished. Maybe I’ll be able to cut back on my time at the studio soon.”
His eyes twinkled. “I’m only teasing, darling. I’m very proud of the work you’ve completed since coming here. And I can hardly wait to see the full showing.”
Mrs. Miller set a plate of ham and eggs in front of her and smiled. “I’m proud of you too, Rani. I get real excited when I think about all the folks that are gonna see your work. I wouldn’t doubt you selling all of your pieces while you’re there.”
Rani reached up and squeezed the woman’s hand. “Thank you, Mrs. Miller. But this is really David’s show. I only have a few pieces in it. I have to confess, though, that I couldn’t be more excited if I’d done the whole show myself. David’s pieces are gorgeous.”
&nb
sp; Uncle Charles nodded. “I’ve seen them, and I have to agree. He’s outdone himself this time.” He picked up his coffee cup but set it back down. “By the way, isn’t he coming to supper tonight?”
Rani swallowed the bite of ham before she answered her uncle. “He is. He’ll come home with me today when we close the studio. I know he’s looking forward to spending some time with you tonight.”
Uncle Charles glanced up at Mrs. Miller and rolled his eyes. “I doubt if David will want to share any of his time with me. He seems intent on keeping Rani to himself.”
Rani put down her fork and stared at her uncle. “Do you think I’ve been neglecting you?”
He shook his head. “No, darling, but it’s plain to see the man’s fallen in love with you.” He put his elbows on the table and leaned closer. “The question is, how do you feel about him?”
“Well, I…” She stopped, unsure of what to say next.
Her uncle’s forehead wrinkled into a frown. “Be careful, Rani. Make sure you’re over Matthew before you become involved with David. It wouldn’t be fair to him if you’re still in love with someone else.”
Rani stared into her uncle’s eyes for a moment before she sighed. “Matthew made it plain there was never going to be anything for us in the future. I have to think about what’s best for me now. David and I share a love for our work, we get along well, and he makes me laugh. Besides, he’s a wonderful man.”
“I know he is. That’s why I don’t want to see him hurt.” The doctor laid his napkin beside his plate and reached across to grasp her hand. “Your mother wrote me and said you’ve mentioned working with David in your letters to her, but you’ve said very little else about him. That surprised me since you spend most of your time with him.”
Rani bit down on her lip. “I really didn’t know what to tell her. I didn’t want…”
“Matthew to know?” he finished for her.
Her face grew warm. “What difference should it make to Matthew? He’s the one who rejected me, Uncle Charles. I don’t think it makes any difference to him who my friends are.”
Uncle Charles stared at her a moment before he picked up his fork and speared a bit of ham. “Your mother is also upset because you told her you wouldn’t be home for Christmas.”
Rani concentrated on pushing the scrambled eggs around on her plate. “I thought it best not to travel in the winter. There could be snow drifts in the Cove, and it might be too cold for Poppa to drive to Townsend in the buggy to pick me up at the train station.”
“That might be true unless you go home before the first snowfall.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Do you want me to go home?”
He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Of course not, darling. But I don’t want you to be unhappy because you have to spend Christmas with me instead of being with all your family.”
She laughed and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll miss Mama and Poppa, and Granny too. But I also know I’ll enjoy spending Christmas with you and Mrs. Miller.”
His eyebrows arched. “And David? He told me he isn’t going to his father’s house for Christmas.”
She laughed. “And David too. I’m sure we’ll all have a Christmas to remember.”
Her uncle laughed. “I wouldn’t doubt it. And remember, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want. I’m sure the longer you stay the happier David will be.”
She smiled. “I really like David a lot, Uncle Charles. I think he’s helping me get over Matthew. Now I want to get on with my life. You’ve always told me to look for the plan God has for me. That’s what I’m doing.”
“Then be careful how you interpret what God is saying to you. Don’t try to substitute your desires for His will.”
“I won’t. I’m praying God will show me what that will is.”
“Good girl,” her uncle said as he picked up his fork and began to eat.
Rani picked up her coffee cup and took a sip. How could she know what God’s will was? All her life her family had talked to her about it, and she had thought Matthew was the one God had sent to her. But that hadn’t worked out, so it must not have been God’s will. If it wasn’t God’s will, then why couldn’t she put Matthew out of her mind?
She tightened her hands into fists, and her fingernails cut into her skin. Matthew was out of her life, and there was nothing she could do to change that. She would not think about him. She would concentrate on what David had said to her last night.
David was right. They were very much alike. They shared the same interests. Her life with him would be very different from what it would have been with Matthew. With David she would never have to worry about money, and they could work together in producing their pottery.
After all, if Matthew had really loved her, he never would have thrown their love away like it meant nothing to him. Maybe he wasn’t capable of loving. If that was true, then she was better off without him.
Chapter 17
Matthew stepped out of the barn and pulled his coat tighter against the cold December wind that blew down from the mountains. The first snowfall hadn’t come to the Cove yet, but it wouldn’t be long. The white peaks in the distance signaled that winter was on its way.
Smoke curled up through the cabin’s chimney, and he hurried to get inside out of the cold. When he approached the cabin, though, he didn’t go inside but walked around to the tall chimney that stretched from the ground and up the side of his cabin to tower above the roof. Every time he passed it he thought of Rani and of the times they’d sat beside the fire pit and watched the bricks baking in the flames.
He reached out and trailed his fingers across the rough bricks. Touching them made her seem closer to him somehow. It was like she had left a part of herself with him when she went away. He put both hands against the bricks and leaned forward until his forehead rested between his hands.
“God,” he prayed, “thank You for the peace that is slowly coming into my heart. Thank You for Simon, who’s guided me through Your word and helped me understand how much You love me. Be with Rani wherever she is today and keep her safe. I love her so, Lord, and I pray that someday I’ll have the chance to tell her I’m learning to live each day knowing You’re with me. Amen.”
He straightened and took a deep breath before he walked to the front door and entered the cabin. He’d just taken off his coat when he heard horses stopping in the yard. He opened the door and frowned at the sight of Simon and a man he didn’t know climbing down from their horses.
They tied their mounts to a tree nearby and walked toward Matthew. “Good morning,” he called out. “Come on in out of the cold and have some coffee.”
“Don’t mind if we do,” Simon called out.
They followed him inside and walked toward the fireplace. Simon stuck his hands out to warm them at the fire and nodded toward the man next to him. “Matthew, this is Sheriff Frank Hawkins. He came by my place this morning, and I thought I’d better come over here with him. He has something to tell you.”
Matthew’s eyes grew wide. “To tell me? What is it, Sheriff?”
Sheriff Hawkins turned his back to the fire and clasped his hands behind him. “I hear you had a fire a while back.”
Matthew glanced at Simon, then back to the sheriff. “Yes, back in the fall.”
“And you’d had some threatnin’ notes before that?”
“Yes.”
“Had any since?”
“No. They stopped right after the fire.”
“Do you know a man named Chester Goode?”
Matthew shook his head. “The name’s not familiar to me.”
The sheriff shrugged. “Don’t make no matter. He lives over toward Wears Valley, but we caught him peddling some moonshine yesterday. When we arrested him for selling illegal liquor, he decided to tell me about the others involved.”
Matthew glanced at Simon again and back to the sheriff. “I hope he didn’t say I was one of them.”
Sheriff Hawkins laughe
d and shook his head. “Naw, he said Wade Campbell was the one who owned the still, and he had a boy named George Ferguson helpin’ him.”
Matthew’s mouth gaped open in surprise. “George? Does Pete know?”
Simon nodded. “We stopped by there on our way here. Pete didn’t seem too surprised, but Laura took the news hard.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Matthew said. “I’ll go over to see them later today.”
“Anyway,” the sheriff continued, “Chester said Wade and George were the ones who set your field on fire. Right after that, they figured the law would be after them, so they headed over to the North Carolina side of the mountains near Proctor where they set up a still. They’ve been over there selling moonshine to the workers of the Little River Lumber Company for the past few months. That explains why your night visits stopped.”
Matthew frowned. “If Wade’s making liquor in North Carolina now, where did Chester get the moonshine he was selling?”
The sheriff hooked his fingers in his gunbelt and exhaled. “Well, it seems they’ve come back to Tennessee, and Wade had a new still in his barn. We went over there, and sure enough there it was. But it had been abandoned. He must have found out we were onto him.”
“What about Wade and George? Did you find them?”
“Not a sign of them anywhere. There were no clothes or food in the cabin, so I figure they cleared out. Chester thought they probably went back to North Carolina. If they did, then I reckon the sheriff over there can worry about them.”
“But you can’t be sure?”
Sheriff Hawkins shook his head. “No, but since Chester didn’t show back up with the money, Wade probably suspects we’re after him. I don’t expect he’ll be showing his face around here for a while. He spends most of his time running from the law in Tennessee, North Carolina, and Georgia. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about any more fires.”
“That’s good to know.” Matthew stuck out his hand. “I appreciate you coming by and telling me this.”
Mountain Homecoming Page 23
