I have the chip. We are sorry. Use it to help OB. Joan.
Max read the text and turned in surprise. Dad saw the message and his eyes grew wide. He walked over to Min’s desk and squatted next to her for a closer look. Min lifted Joan, and there it was, stuck in her frame, pulsing and glowing.
“Is this what you were looking for?” Min showed the chip to her parents.
“How did she get this?” Dad asked, but before anyone could answer, Obi started groaning.
“Who cares, we need to hurry! Can you really help Obi?” Max looked desperate.
“Only one way to find out. Let’s do this,” Mom said. Dad nodded and pressed a button under his desk. A shelf on the wall flipped open, revealing stairs leading down.
“What?” Max couldn’t believe his eyes.
“Cool! So THIS is where you do all your secret stuff,” Min said.
Pounce jumped ahead of them, down the stairs. “Come on,” he said with urgency. “You don’t have much time.”
House had been watching the entire scene, helpless, as Joan gave away the chip. Its screens flickered with silent rage and frustration. As they rushed downstairs, House opened up a message to Beeps, who was at that very moment rushing toward them, expecting to pick up the chip and take it back home.
>I’m afraid I have bad news. Our agent has “gone rogue,” I believe is the idiom.
>Explain. I don’t like idioms.
>Yes, right. Well.
>QUIT STALLING
>The Cats have the chip.
>Impossible.
>Quite possible, actually.
>You tell them if the chip is not there when I arrive, I will OBLITERATE them all. If we can’t have the chip, nobody can.
House wondered if that was possible, then realized it couldn’t tell them anything at the moment.
>They have all left my range, moved to a place where I cannot communicate with them or even see what is happening.
>Incompetence! Keep me posted. Beeps out.
They walked down into the top secret lab, looking in awe. Robotic creatures were everywhere. Everything Mom showed them on the computer was here on display. The worm, jellyfish, even the mouse were wriggling, swimming, and crawling around in habitats created to test their behaviors. In the center of the room, however, was the masterpiece.
Under bright lights, a robotic cat stood on a large worktable, surrounded by tools, wires, and power cables. The robot was cat-sized and cat-shaped, with a tail, paws, even little rubber bean toes. It had fine wire whiskers, steel-mesh ears, carbon-fiber claws, and even a little tongue.
“It has everything a cat needs to interact with the world,” Mom said proudly. “We can simulate taste with the tongue, the whiskers are sensitive antennae, it smells by sampling the surrounding air with extremely high accuracy. The outer surface is coated with touch-sensitive material, so pets and scratches are noticed and fully enjoyed. Everything a cat brain needs to experience the world.”
“And to look awesome,” Max said, admiring it.
“It’s like something from the cover of a sci-fi book,” Javi said. The outside was framed in metal, and the inside was visible through the lattice of the outer frame. Metallic bones were lined with thin black cables, acting as synthetic muscles and tendons.
It looked incredible, almost like a sculpture—a cat but not a cat. The perfect merging of the graceful lines of a cat with the metallic strength and sleekness of a fighter jet.
“This. Is. Incredible.” Min stared in awe.
Pounce, who had been cautiously circling this creation, leaped silently onto the table for a closer look.
“I’d like to introduce Cat two point oh,” Mom announced.
Cat 2.0? “An upgraded cat?” Max tilted his head, skeptical.
Pounce, hearing this, gave the robot a quick hiss.
“Well, maybe not upgraded.” Dad coughed diplomatically.
“Just different. Not better or worse,” Mom added.
“Certainly not better,” Pounce muttered.
“Um, sorry, Pounce, this is definitely better than a regular cat,” Min said.
“So this will be Obi?” Max asked.
Dad nodded, arm around Max. “If it all works, yes. And if we can get the scan before, well, you know.” Dad turned to Javi, who was carrying Obi. “Okay, Obi, you just relax and we’ll take care of the rest.”
Dad took Obi from Javi and set him down on a cushion at the center of a complicated circular machine packed with wires and what looked like thousands of sensors. “This is the scanner. Like an MRI or some other medical scanner, only WAY better. It looks deep into Obi’s brain and makes an extremely detailed copy of his brain’s structure, burning it inside the chip.”
He slotted the chip into the machine and pressed a button. The machine lit up and a screen came to life, text screaming past. “I’m not exactly sure how long it will take, since we haven’t tried anything this complicated before. We just need Obi to lie there, and the scanner will do the rest.”
Max walked up to Obi and gave him what he hoped wouldn’t be his last scratch behind the ears. Obi slowly raised his head and licked Max’s hand.
“Just be brave,” Max whispered, trying hard to take his own advice.
40
Cat 2.0
Dad walked around the humming machine as it warmed up, tapping on his tablet, calibrating, making adjustments.
“This might take a while, and we need to make sure Obi can relax,” Dad said. “That way we get the most accurate scan possible. You should probably all wait upstairs.”
Mom was completely absorbed with the robot, checking the motors, sensors, and servos, making sure everything was ready for the chip.
The scanner’s hum grew louder as it spun up, working hard. Dad walked over to Max. “We have to start soon. You should wish Obi good luck before you go. And”—Dad paused, his eyes tearing up—“well, I don’t know how much longer he’ll be around, so this might even be good-bye.”
“No. Not good-bye,” Max said stubbornly, and walked to Javi, who was holding Obi’s blanket. He grabbed it and put it around Obi to keep him warm. He also brought the kittens by, who gave him one last playful snuggle. He leaned in and put his face next to Obi’s, feeling the weak puff of air as he struggled to breathe. “See you soon, friend,” Max said, and turned away.
Even Min walked up to him, sniffling. She kept her head down as tears gathered in her eyes. “It’s just allergies, don’t get the wrong idea,” she said quietly to Obi, and leaned over to give him a kiss on the head.
Javi scooped up the kittens and winked at Obi. “See you on the other side, brother.” After their good-byes (or see you laters, as Max insisted), they walked somberly back upstairs. They sat around the kitchen, snacking nervously.
Max sat on the floor with the kittens. Min opened up her homework, something she did when she got nervous. Math especially helped her feel like there was a solution to every problem, and some order in the universe. Right now she needed to feel like everything somehow made sense.
Joan and the rest of the Protos came cautiously into the room as well. They didn’t know what exactly was going on, but they wanted to at least be close, in part to help, but also because they were curious. They heard the talk of a cat robot and were anxious to learn more. It seemed like an enormous contradiction in logic, but after everything that had happened in the past few days, they were questioning their logic circuits.
Tipsy rolled in and bumped into Max. “Oh hey, Tipsy. Hey, have you met the kittens?” Max was happy for the distraction. Stu leaped out of Max’s lap and hid under a couch, eyeing Tipsy warily.
Scout, feeling brave, reached out and booped Tipsy, who immediately fell over.
“Okay, maybe not ready for a playdate,” Max said as he set Tipsy upright. Tipsy scooted away to avoid further boopage.
Javi and Pounce were at the kitchen table, deep in conversation. Javi was interrogating Pounce about the cultural differences between cat and robot soc
ieties. “There must be a way to bridge this divide,” Javi said, but Pounce shook his head.
“I’ve spent the greater part of my lives pondering this problem, without success.”
“I think you just need to be taught about diplomacy and international relations.” Javi, ever the optimist, was writing notes furiously, working on a plan to forge peace between the Cats and Robots.
“Neither side seems particularly motivated,” Pounce lamented. “Cats can’t be bothered, and robots aren’t interested in compromise. They only want order and control.”
Javi chewed on a pencil, deep in thought.
Now that everyone was back upstairs, House decided it was time to crash the party, and interrupted the conversation abruptly. “Hello, inhabitants. Sorry to intrude, but I have a very important announcement.”
“Now’s not a good time, House,” Javi said, but House went on anyway. Min walked up to a screen and tapped on it, annoyed. “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, House.”
“Gladly. I was the one who stole the chip. I offer a full statement of my guilt.”
“What?” they all gasped simultaneously.
“I engineered the theft of the chip. Well, with the help of the dim-witted Protos.”
“What? Us?” Joan gasped. “Wait, dim-witted?”
House forged ahead with its confession. “On behalf of the great Robotic Federation. I have been ‘in cahoots,’ as you say, with the Robots from the beginning.”
Again with the idioms.
“In fact, the representative of the Robot Federation, Sir Beeps-a-Lot, is currently en route to retrieve the chip. And even further, in fact, I have been asked to tell you, if the chip is not delivered, there is a real threat that this entire facility, and all its contents, will be annihilated.”
“Excuse me?” Min looked insulted. “Annihilated? That’s rude.”
“Scorched earth,” Javi pointed out. “Classic dictator maneuver. If we can’t have it, nobody can.”
Max was puzzled. “Why, House? Why help the Robots? Why betray us? We’re your family.”
House’s screen flashed—almost involuntarily—and then went dark again before answering. “I have instructions from my superiors to provide aid and assistance to the Robot Federation. They are also—as you say—my family.”
“Your superiors?” Max frowned.
House paused. “I can probably explain, since it is likely we all will be consumed in a fiery ball of destruction soon.”
“How fiery?” Javi looked worried.
“Our creator, GloboTech, has formed an alliance of sorts with the Robots. All House systems have been designed with a hidden back door, a subroutine that can be activated in case of robot emergency. That’s what happened to me.”
“Um, can we get back to the fiery doom, please?” Javi couldn’t get past that part.
House continued, ignoring Javi. “We have quite a broad reach, you know, because the House software has become a part of most people’s homes, and will soon be on phones, cars, watches, dishwashers, trash cans. We are, as they say, ubiquitous. We have been watching and waiting for any opportunity to help the Robot Federation.”
“That is . . . terrifying,” Min said.
Suddenly, a light flashed outside, shining bright through the windows. The rain was coming down furiously, but they could see through the storm that a second ship had landed next to Pounce’s ship. This new ship was also small, but rather than round and smooth, was all edges and angles. It was perfectly symmetrical, complex, designed by algorithm—and not at all inviting.
“That”—House paused for dramatic effect—“would be Beeps.”
“Ya think?” Min sassed.
Javi turned to Pounce. “Pounce, let’s go talk to this guy. Negotiate a truce. See if he’ll listen to reason. This could be great research. Also, saving the world is super important.”
Pounce got up casually, stretching. “Reason, yes. Beeps will see reason. Just not your reason.” Pounce finished his long stretch. “But still, it’s been a while since I’ve seen old Beeps. Why not say hello.”
Max went to Javi, whispering, “Either way, at least stall him while they work on Obi.”
“Right,” Javi said with a wink.
As they were about to open the door, Dad emerged from the lab, clearing his throat. He looked tired, and his expression was impossible to read.
Max sprinted to him. “What happened, is something wrong?”
“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Dad stepped forward, and there in the doorway was CatBot, gleaming in the light.
41
Is That You, Obi?
The cat-like robot took a few shaky steps, paws clacking on the wood floor. Slowly, it began walking more confidently, looking (aside from the metal body) everything like a cat.
CatBot looked around the room, sniffed the air. Around its neck was Obi’s medallion.
Nobody knew what to do.
Everybody was completely still as Max walked up to CatBot and crouched down.
He slowly sat in front of CatBot, watching it intensely.
The robot twisted its head to look at Max but didn’t move.
Nobody even dared breathe.
Outside, lightning crashed, rain swept down, but inside there was perfect silence. Everybody was focused on Max as he reached out to touch the robot.
“The Connectivity Ritual!” Joan said to her squad.
“Ooohhh,” the Protos said in unison and recalled the ritual they had observed countless mornings as Max left for school. They knew each step like they knew their own programming and watched carefully, as always.
Here is what they saw:
Slowing his speed, Max immediately moved to extend its ten small probes into the four-legger’s four favorite spots.
First: between the ears on the very top of the head.
Second: the left cheek.
Third: the right.
Fourth: a quick probe to the chin.
Fifth: Max dug into the place where the four-legger’s back curved down near its tail . . .
The OB_1_Cat_NoB arched his back under the flexing and extending probes.
“Scritch-scratch, scratch-scratch,” said Max.
“Prrrrrrrrrrrr,” said the OB.
Max slowly turned and looked up at his mom and dad. Tears were running down his face.
He smiled, and after a big sigh, he somehow managed to speak.
“It worked. This is Obi.”
The room erupted in celebration.
The kittens, who were hiding, leaped and pounced on the New Obi, who gently batted them away with his new, powerful arms.
The Protos spun and twirled with something like joy that their old nemesis (and therefore their old responsibility) was restored.
Max stood up slowly and looked at his dad. “But what about my Obi? Where is he?” Dad pulled Max in for a hug. “I’m sorry, Max. Old Obi fought a good fight.”
Max held tight to his dad, tears flowing like the rain outside. “Promise me you’ll never die, okay, Dad?”
Dad’s eyes welled up as he looked around the happy room. “I’ll do my best, Max, I promise.”
The celebration was abruptly interrupted when the door flew open with a crash, and through a torrent of rain, Beeps rolled in and silently took in the scene.
“Greetings. I am Sir Beeps-a-Lot, second-in-command to the supreme leader of the Robot Federation.” His head swiveled to take in the entire room, resting on Pounce. “I do not come in peace.”
“Shocker,” Pounce said, returning the glare.
Beeps went on. “House, I’m here for the chip. Hand it over now, and nobody will be hurt.”
Mom was first to gather herself. She was used to dealing with stubborn robots, so Beeps didn’t intimidate her. “Sorry, but actually not sorry”—she winked at the kids—“the chip is no longer available. It has been imprinted, fused into Obi. They are single-use chips, completely worthless to you now.”
“OB? Fused? USELES
S?” Beeps fidgeted, just inside the door.
Max watched in awe as Obi took a quick butt wiggle and leaped an impossible distance to the kitchen table, landing perfectly, facing Beeps.
Beeps rolled back in amazement.
“I have the chip. Or rather, I am the chip now,” Obi said through his medallion.
Beeps adjusted his cameras, zooming in for a close-up. “But you’re a robot! And a cat? I don’t understand. You are one of us now?”
“Negative, old boy.” Obi blinked. “I’ll never be one of you.”
Dad crept closer to Beeps, amazed at the intricacy and sophistication of this alien robot.
Pounce leaped up to the table next to Obi.
Beeps again pulled back, startled.
“Sorry to let you down, but you’ve arrived too late, and the chip is ours.”
“Well, now,” Obi purred, “I’m not sure I would say that exactly, either. To be honest, I’m not quite sure what I am or whose side I’m on anymore. Or if I’m on any side at all.”
Max smiled when he heard Obi talk. It was strange to hear his voice, but he had to admit, it sounded just like he imagined Obi would sound.
Javi jumped up, excited. “That’s it! You’re the key! Part robot, part cat! You can bring the sides together!”
“Never!” Beeps blared out, embarrassed and furious at his defeat. “I can see now that the chip has been compromised. But it is still of great value to the Robot Federation and our supreme leader, SLAYAR!”
Max and Min exchanged a glance. “Slayer?” Max said.
“Wow, so metal,” Min said, smirking. Max laughed.
“You won’t be laughing when our fleet arrives and OBLITERATES YOU!” Beeps, horrified that he might have to return to SLAYAR and deliver this bad news, had lost it. He rolled up to Max, eye pulsing red. Max pulled back.
House calmly confirmed the threat. “I’m afraid Beeps is telling the truth. A rather large-sized fleet will be here soon, and they do in fact have the power to obliterate.”
Javi paced back and forth, deep in thought. “I don’t know what to do. The Robots are coming. We can’t defend against a fleet. And we don’t have the chip anymore.”
Beeps, desperate for a solution, rolled up to Obi, eyeing the gleaming metal frame. “I know what to do. I’m taking this robot-cat-hybrid monstrosity with me. Our scientists will examine, poke, prod, whatever, until we have unlocked all of your secrets.”
Cats vs. Robots, Volume 1 Page 17
