The air felt cool and fresh, and it helped me gain my bearings. And I noticed my panties were soaking wet. That freaked me out at first, but I didn’t want to say anything. Brad slid the door to the van closed and pulled me close again, his hands circling me at my waist. “Did they make you uncomfortable? I know that was weird. I can get us a room, just you and me…”
“I can’t, Brad. I just can’t.” I looked down. I felt guilty. “I think I’ll just go home.”
He was still holding me pressed close to him. “No, that’s cool. I respect your decision…probably more than you’ll ever know.” He rested my head on his shoulder and held me in a tight embrace. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t wish you wouldn’t change your mind.” He let out a heavy sigh. “How far do you live from here?”
“Not too far. Probably less than a mile.”
“I’ll walk you home.” He let me go but wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “You okay?”
I smiled, wrapped my arm around his hip, laced my thumb through a belt loop on the other side of his jeans, and leaned my head into the crook of his arm. “Yeah, I think so.”
“You are amazing.”
I giggled, thinking that was the truth. I even amazed myself sometimes.
* * *
“Val, the door!” Danny yelled up the stairs to my bedroom, although he was so loud, I think the neighbors could have heard him.
I’d been hiding out in my room since we’d gotten home from church that morning. Oh…I’d prayed and prayed and prayed. I was a sinner, and I was going to burn. I felt so guilty, and I’d hated being in that building that day, surrounded by good God-fearing people and a few hypocrites. I felt like they were all staring me down like they knew.
We went home to pot roast and potatoes, one of mom’s specialties, and ate what started as a quiet meal. But then the family asked me questions about the night before, and I told them about the concert…but not the party after. They expressed interest in meeting my friends, and I told them if they came back to Winchester, I’d make sure they would get to.
After we’d done dishes and the leftovers were put away, dad went out back to mow the lawn and mom went in the basement to work on whatever craft she had going on. I think at that time she was into ceramics, but I can’t remember. She went through phases, focusing on needlepoint one month, quilting the next, scrapbooking later on. So Danny started playing a videogame, and I went to my room to listen to music. I’d only been in there for five minutes or so when Danny hollered at me.
I figured it was either Jill, having enjoyed our time together and wanting to spend more, or one of my other old high school friends I hadn’t seen since last year. But it wasn’t. It was Brad.
Seeing him was completely unexpected. I wasn’t quite ready to see him. I smiled, feeling shy, trying to forget our steamy night together. He’d been so loaded, maybe he’d forgotten. And that made it easier for me to talk. “Come in.” He came into the living room and sat on the sofa. I’d just promised my parents I’d introduce them to my friends, but my family didn’t know it was way too soon. So I had to see what Brad wanted and send him on his merry way. I didn’t have to introduce Danny because my brother had already passed me on his way back to the family room. “So…what’s up?” I hoped it wasn’t going to be any kind of awkward apology for what had happened between us. Oh, shit. Maybe I should have talked to him outdoors. I didn’t need my family hearing about what a slut I’d become.
I was nervous, wondering what the hell he wanted. Surely, he wasn’t there to confess his undying love to me or anything stupid like that. “Me and the guys wanted to talk to you about something before we blow town.” I had already expected them to be gone, but I wasn’t going to say so. I knew they must have continued to party hard the night before and were just getting around to leaving.
“What?”
“We’re gonna eat a late lunch before we go. The guys are already at a pizza place downtown. Can you join us for a few minutes?”
“Sure.” I wasn’t going to tell him I didn’t plan to eat. “I need to let my mom and dad know, though.” So I got up, and he came with me. I yelled down the stairs to the basement. “Hey, mom, is it okay if I go hang with my band friends for a while before they leave?”
She was talking but moving at the same time because her voice got closer as she continued. “Where are you going to be?” She appeared at the foot of the stairs.
“Napoli, I think.”
“Oh, is this Ethan?”
Oh, shit. I’m sure Brad loved hearing that. “No, I’m Brad Payne, Mrs. Quinn.” Mom was already walking up the stairs, so he held his hand out to her as she got near him.
“Nice to meet you,” she said, shaking his hand. I was glad she didn’t ask or say anything else. “I’m sure that’s fine, hon. What time do you think you’ll be home?”
I looked at Brad. “I should have her home in two hours or less.”
“Have fun, kids.”
On the way there, I figured out what they wanted to talk to me about. They wanted to apologize for the activities of the night before—the drugs, alcohol, and sex. But I wouldn’t take the wind out of Brad’s sails. I would let them apologize, and I would graciously accept it. Even though I would probably harbor a grudge against Ethan for my entire natural life, I did want to remain friends with these guys. It had been a simple misunderstanding, and I knew now that I was too straight-laced to hang out with my band buddies after hours. Still, it was sweet of them to think enough of me to say they were sorry.
Brad didn’t say a word on the way, choosing instead to crank an old Guns N’ Roses CD. I thought either he was feeling sheepish about the night before too or maybe he had forgotten a lot of it. That was okay, because I didn’t want to talk about it either. Just thinking about the fact that he’d seen me with my shirt off—that he’d kissed the top of my boobs!, a place no one else had ever touched—made me blush like mad. Maybe I’d be able to talk about it someday, but I wasn’t ready yet.
When we got to the restaurant, I hopped out of the van before Brad could play gentleman again. I wanted to go back to being regular old Valerie, just one of the gang. He met me in front of the van, though, and we walked in together. Just as the hostess came to ask us if there were two in our party, Brad said we were already with a group, and he’d already spotted them.
As we approached the table, Zane said, “We ordered one pepperoni and one with everything and a couple pitchers—one Pepsi, one Dr. Pepper. Is that okay?”
Brad shrugged. “That’s fine.” There were three empty seats, all in between each of the guys. Brad sat between Nick and Zane, and I sat between Zane and Ethan.
Ethan acted kind of surly, sitting with his back to the wall. Nick looked like he had seen better days. I guessed he had a horrible hangover the likes of which he’d never seen before. The waitress stopped by our table just to check in on us. I asked, “Can I get a glass of water, please?”
“Sure thing.”
Brad poured himself a glass of soda and then said, “Okay, guys. Who wants to tell her?”
Ethan sat up straight. “I will.” He looked at me, and I couldn’t read a thing from his expression. So…we were on speaking terms again? Maybe I looked like a slutty bimbo? Mentally, I chided myself and told myself I needed to pay attention. I wouldn’t look sincere accepting their apology if I was zoning out. He took a deep breath. “All four of us have talked about this seriously, and we want you to sing for the band.” I know I looked like a dumbass at that moment, because I was sure I’d heard incorrectly. He continued. “You probably already know Brad’s lined up a bunch of shows this summer, and we want you to go with us.” Well, as soon as I got excited, my bubble burst. First of all, I was already obligated to watch those two little girls until August and, secondly, my mother and father would never agree. Staying away for days at a time with four boys unchaperoned doing the kinds of things they were doing last night? Nope. They would never, ever agree. I knew it without even asking.
&nbs
p; Still…my mind couldn’t help but soar just a little bit.
And then the questions flooded through my mind, and my brain told me all the reasons why I couldn’t. Why I shouldn’t. I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t have the talent. I wasn’t pretty enough. I didn’t deserve it. My voice sucked.
Shut up!
I forced the logical and rude part of my brain to quiet itself and just let the excited part take over. I wanted to indulge it just a bit. “So…what would I do? Just sing?”
“Yeah…sing.”
“But then what would you and Brad do?”
Ethan shrugged and acted like that was the silliest question he’d ever heard. “We could sing on occasion and even do a duet or two, but we could focus more on honing our guitar skills. I mean…we’re good, but we wanna be great. And we need a frontman—er, woman—who can really interact with the crowd. That’s harder to do when you have a guitar strapped to you. We need someone to stir them up, make them energetic, and I know you could do that.”
Brad said, “And face it, Val. We can’t hold a candle to your voice. The crowds ate it up both nights. They really like you.”
“Yeah, but what if that’s only because it’s something different?”
“Would you stop that already?” Ethan was tapping his finger on the table. “Give us a good reason why you can’t.”
I let out a breath. “Oh…I can give you more than one.”
Zane asked, “Like what?”
“My job.”
Ethan asked, “You have a job?”
“What? Like that’s so unexpected? Yeah…I babysit two girls Monday through Friday from now through the first week of August.”
“So? Give ‘em your two-week notice.”
“I can’t do that. It was a difficult decision for them as it was.” The waitress brought my water by and set it in front of me. “Besides…that’s the easy problem.”
Ethan was still ready to challenge anything I had to say…and I was surprised by that. “So tell us.”
“I don’t think my parents will let me.”
“Fuck your parents. You’re a grown woman.”
I felt my eyebrows jump up my forehead. That was easy for him to say. He’d been raised by a lenient mother who didn’t seem quite sure how to handle him and had probably never told him no. Brad offered gentler advice. “You could ask.” For the first time that day, I saw hope in his eyes…and an acknowledgement of what had happened between us the night before. Yeah…if my parents were smart, they’d say no without any discussion. Brad and me alone together for five minutes equaled danger for my virginity.
“Okay. So let’s say for some strange reason my parents have been replaced by pod people and say yes. Then what? I already told you I’m not going to ditch my job, and I’m sure you’d need to practice with me, and I doubt all your shows are Saturdays only, and—”
“Whoa, Val,” Brad said and reached across the table to grab my hands, probably so I’d stop flailing them and making him nervous. “Why don’t you ask your parents? If they say yes and you want to do it, then we can figure out the rest. One step at a time.”
I let go of the protest that had been forming in my lungs. Yeah, that made sense. I nodded as the waitress brought the pizzas to the table. Yeah…first things first.
Chapter Seventeen
HOLY SHIT. THIS was exciting stuff. I stayed for the meal but didn’t eat, and the guys started talking about the shows they had lined up for the summer, already acting like I was going to be joining them. They had some in the big cities—another two dates for Colorado Springs, several dates for the Denver Metro area, and even a show in Pueblo—but they had a few in smaller towns too. They were going to be busy, and that told me Brad had been a booking machine. He even had presale tickets for some of the shows that he hyped at work and on their Facebook page.
Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten Brad worked too, and surely he’d had that in mind when he’d put the schedule together. Unless, of course, his rock star passion had taken over…which wouldn’t have surprised me. I was already acting giddy and hopeless, forgetting I had to clear the idea with my parents.
So I told them I wanted to talk to my parents about it alone. I don’t know that their presence would have hurt, necessarily, but I didn’t think it would have helped. For starters, I had Brad to contend with, and between his hair that was to his shoulders and the half-sleeve tattoo started on his arm, dad wouldn’t care for that and would have serious reservations about the kind of boys I would be hanging with. And if Brad got that look in his eye like he did for just that moment at lunch, the one where I knew he could remember what I felt like under my shirt while grinding into him…well, then, my dad would say no on principle. Ethan and Zane weren’t much better. In fact, Nick would probably be the only one of the bunch that my dad would look at and think was a “nice kid.” But Nick probably wouldn’t say a word…and silence wouldn’t help either.
So, yeah…I had to do it alone, and I chose to do it over dinner. I promised Brad I would text him later and let him know, but I told them all not to get their hopes up. Too late, though, because I already had. Those two nights onstage had fueled my inner desires that I hadn’t even known existed, had awakened a dream that likely could have stayed dormant my entire adult life. Never mind any money I was expected to make. The guys said they’d do a five-way split after expenses. But I didn’t imagine that would add up to much, even though Brad had said they were starting to make money on merchandise too.
That night at dinner, mom asked how my afternoon had gone, which provided me the perfect opportunity to bring up what I needed to ask them. “About that…um…I told you I sang a song each night at the concerts, didn’t I?”
Mom looked surprised, and dad actually smiled. Danny was unimpressed, not that I’d expected him to be. Mom said, “That sounds like fun.”
“Was it a real song or was it some of that music you listen to?” Dad had never made his displeasure with metal unknown to me or anyone else within earshot if he happened to hear it.
I needed to win him over, though, so now was not the time to argue the merits of metal. It might come to that, but, for now, I just had to patiently present them with the proposal. “Well, I’ve been writing some lyrics for their band, and it happened to be a song I co-wrote, so it was a lot of fun. And, to answer your question, dad, yes. It was metal.”
He smirked as if to say, “Yep. Figured as much.” But he didn’t say a word, instead kept eating his dinner.
Time to bite the bullet. “Anyway…they wanted to ask me if I could sing in their band full-time.”
Mom smiled, but dad put down the bite he was getting ready to put in his mouth. “What would that entail?”
“Well, I have no details as yet, but they’re touring all over Colorado this summer. I already told them I have a job through the first week of August, and I don’t want to mess that up, but they said we could work around that.”
Mom joined in. “So what would be involved?”
“It would probably be weekends, overnight in several places.”
“How many girls are in this band?”
Oh, here was the hard part. I swallowed. “I would be the only one.”
“And you’d be overnight in other places with strange young men.”
“They’re not so strange, dad, but you’re right.” No sense lying about it. But I started thinking, Wait a second. I am an adult now. I was at college all by myself for a year…and it involved lots of overnights.
Mom said, “It’s not a good idea. But tell us more. Would you all be sharing a room or sleeping in a vehicle? What kind of arrangements will be made?”
“I’m not sure. We didn’t get that far in talking. I knew I’d need to run it past you guys first. When they performed their shows in the Springs and here, they stayed in a motel overnight. I could get my own room. That wouldn’t be a problem.”
“Do you have that much money, Valerie?”
“I’d be making money on the road.
”
Mom let out a deep breath. “Sweetheart, it’s just not a good idea. Being with four teenage boys constantly—”
“Your mother is right. Not a good idea.”
“But dad—”
“No.” His voice was firm.
But I wasn’t about to give up. Not yet. I had one more thing I wanted to say. “Look…I was away at college for a long time. I was surrounded by teenage boys and even guys older than that. The thing is at some point you have to trust me. I didn’t get into trouble in college, and I wouldn’t while touring with these guys either.” Never mind what had happened last night. Over all, I had a solid track record. “I’m a good girl.”
My dad didn’t say another word, which meant his mind on the matter was made up. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, and I kept it together, but all I wanted to do was cry. Finally, I’d found something in my life that had set me on fire, and my parents were forbidding it. But as I sat there pushing the peas and carrots around my plate, I decided I’d let them sleep on it. Then, tomorrow, I’d tell them that I was an adult, and I had made up my mind. How could they stop me?
So, after dinner, Danny and I loaded the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen, and then I went to my room, feeling disheartened, even with my plan in place. I tried not to give up hope yet, because just hours earlier I’d been thinking how much fun my summer would have been—singing, performing onstage, dressing up, rocking out, not just banging my head but leading a crowd of headbangers. Please don’t let it be just a dream, just a hope, a penny cast into the wishing well, never to be found again.
I decided my mood needed a little Three Days Grace, so I played some on my laptop and just started writing poetry, as I often did when something bothered me. I wasn’t going to text Brad, not yet, not until I’d given my parents the ultimatum.
There was a knock on the door later, and when I said, “Come in,” both my mother and father entered my room. I was lying on my bed. My mom sat on the edge, and my dad sat on the chair at my desk. I could tell something was bothering him. “Valerie, you’re right. You’re an adult now, and you spent the last year in college without anyone there telling you what to do. You got good grades. You stayed out of trouble. We need to trust you. We have to allow you to make decisions, and sometimes that means you’ll make a mistake or two along the way. But you won’t learn if we don’t give you the space to try. So…your mother and I have discussed it, and the decision is yours. We can’t financially support this endeavor, but we will support whatever decision you make. We love you.”
Dirty Boys: Bad Boy Rock Star Romance Box Set Page 19
