Oh, that wasn’t good. I’d made a mental note that he didn’t have a girlfriend right now. Yeah, not good at all that I was keeping score.
Still…he was easy to talk to and fun, and I’d already decided Ethan and I were through. I was fairly certain Ethan had already made that decision days ago. Clay pulled me out of my trance. “What about you, Val? Think you plan to make a career out of it?”
I shrugged. “I’m loving it. I’m gonna do this as long as I can.”
He nodded. “By the way, I never told you. I love what you’re doing with your voice nowadays.”
I thanked him, feeling a little bashful. “You gave me some great suggestions.” I drank the rest of my beer. He’d finished his several minutes earlier.
“Can I get you another one?”
I shook my head. “No. I shouldn’t be drinking anyway. I’m not legal.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Not legal? What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”
I giggled. “The drinking age is twenty-one.”
“Oh, yeah…I forget that.” He inhaled and then grimaced as though he didn’t really want to know the answer to his next question. “So how old are you, Valerie?” He cleared his throat. “If you don’t mind me asking.”
I smiled. “No. That’s cool. Actually, I’m close. I’m twenty…ish.” No way was I going to tell him I wouldn’t actually turn twenty until summer. I didn’t want to scare him off.
He raised his eyebrows and appraised me. “So you’re not exactly a kid or anything.”
I laughed again. “I don’t feel like it.”
He shifted on the sofa and stretched his legs out. “So…tell me about you and Ethan. What’s going on there? The other day at our meeting, he was all over you, but now he acts like you’re a hot potato. Or…is that just my imagination?”
I felt uncomfortable talking about it, but I didn’t see any harm. Clay was easy to talk to, and I felt like he understood. And maybe the two beers I’d drunk were loosening my tongue. But I doubted it. I hadn’t really talked to anyone about how I felt, and Clay had opened that door, so it was like it had to come out. I sighed. “Don’t get me started. I don’t think Ethan knows what he wants. One second, he’s all over me and telling me he wants to make it work. The next second he’s taking some new drug and screwing a new girl, treating me like shit. I don’t get it.”
“I’ve heard a few things.”
I sat up. Now I was feeling pissed. “Like what?”
He grinned. “Nothing you want to hear.”
That figured. I’d never be part of the boys’ metal club, no matter how good I was. I should have known. And that he thought it was funny made me angrier. “I asked, but now you’re gonna be an asshole?”
He raised his eyebrows and sat up. “Whoa, Val. I’m an asshole just because I’m trying to save you from embarrassment?”
I let out a slow breath. “Confirming that my supposed boyfriend is sleeping around on me won’t embarrass me as much as it’ll make me pissed.”
He chuckled. “Goddamn, woman. That’s not what I’m talking about.”
I felt my cheeks grow pink. I gave myself a few seconds to let my blood pressure lower. “Then what are you talking about?”
To himself, he said, “I guess in a roundabout way, I am. But…” He looked down at my hands, then back up to my eyes. “I heard about the party at your apartment a few months back where you just waltzed into the room topless…something about Ethan slipping you some drugs you weren’t aware of, pulling you into a threesome.” He looked at my lips. “And I guess that was pretty shitty, but I still wish I coulda seen that.”
I felt a chill shudder down my spine. “You’re making fun of me.”
His smile was gone. “No, I’m not.” He shook his head. “Sorry I made you feel bad. I just can’t get that image out of my head…of you. I don’t know how Ethan can just…do what he does to you. In case I never told you before, Valerie, I think you’re sexy as hell…and I’m glad you’re legal. A woman can get up on that stage and do what you do has all my respect…and my attention.” He set his bottle on the coffee table in front of us. “And Ethan’s a stupid fuck for doing what he’s doing. He doesn’t deserve you.” He sucked in a deep breath.
I’d heard that before, but I couldn’t remember when or where. I wished Ethan felt the same way. But I wasn’t going to talk about that with Clay or anyone else. Before I could speak, he said, “And if that makes you pissed at me, so be it.”
“I’m not.” But back to what he’d said earlier. Even though I didn’t plan to talk about my relationship with Ethan, I felt the need to explain, even if only on a superficial level. “Let’s just say Ethan has a lot of issues he has to work through.”
“Sure…but why does it have to affect you?”
That was a good question but again nothing I wanted to discuss with someone else. I shrugged. “Ethan has some growing up to do. Were you perfect in your early twenties?”
“Oh, hell, no. But I didn’t have a steady girlfriend either.”
I smiled and looked at him. “I’m wondering why you’re so worried about my problems.”
His return smile didn’t look so innocent. “I’m not going to lie to you. I have ulterior motives, and I think you know exactly what those are. But, Val, you need to think about yourself too. Your life isn’t just about the man you’re with. You’re a woman with desires and passions that need to be fulfilled, and you need someone mature enough to handle the relationship that ensues.”
Yes, he had a point there. Clayton was in his late twenties. He’d sown a lot of his wild oats. Ethan, though…he was still tasting life, had barely started. He didn’t realize that emotional commitment was important too. Clayton did. But my head stopped me. Wait. You can’t be sure this is a good idea.
I looked in his beautiful dark green, almost brown, eyes for lots longer than I should have. “Clay…you are tempting, but… We’ll both respect each other more for deciding not to.” I took a deep breath and placed my hands on my thighs. “I can’t. I’m heading to bed.”
He pursed his lips and looked at me. Then he nodded. “Your decision. But…if you change your mind, I’m in room three-oh-seven. Anytime.”
It was hard tearing myself away. He was difficult to resist, but I knew as soon as I could get out of his magnetic field, it would be easier.
I went to my room and took my shoes off. Just as I’d suspected…no Ethan. And there was no evidence that he’d even been to the room. His suitcase was still by the front door where he’d left it when we’d arrived that afternoon. I sat on the bed, thinking of the past week and how angry I was with him. It was almost as if he enjoyed trashing my heart.
And then my mind wandered back to Clay. God…he was so cute…and sexy. And then I started asking myself…what would it hurt? Just one night. One night with a guy who wanted to be with me, who wouldn’t be looking for the next woman, wouldn’t be thinking of someone or something else while I was in his arms. As I considered it, I felt my heart start beating a little harder, and I tried to think of ways to talk myself out of it.
But there were no good reasons not to.
I put my shoes back on and found my key. Three-oh-seven?
As I made my way up the flight of stairs, I started questioning myself. What if he’d changed his mind? What if he wasn’t even there? What if he’d instead decided to go to bed?
In spite of my shaking hands and numbing toes, I continued the journey, and I made myself knock on the door before I changed my mind. But as I stood there and the seconds dragged on, I started chickening out. I felt my heart speed up again, like a drum at a thrash concert, and I decided if he wasn’t at the door in ten more seconds, I was outta there.
But then I heard the lock turn, and my heart started fluttering again.
He opened the door. Holy shit. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. Why the fuck had I never seen him without a shirt? Jesus Christ. He was gorgeous…rock hard and tight and tattooed all over. Pierced nipples
too.
Okay, so, I was nervous as hell but no longer did I regret my decision. I know my eyes scoured him and I’m pretty sure my pupils got bigger. I don’t think my jaw actually dropped but it might have. I do know I lost every thought in my head…every real thought, that is.
He smiled at me, and if he had noticed, he wasn’t giving it away. “Well, hello, Valerie. What a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?”
I swallowed and found a reserve of courage. When I was able to make my lips move, I said, “Actually, I’m here to see Jet.”
He blinked but didn’t miss a beat. He pulled the door open and stood back. “Please…come in.” I made my feet start moving again and walked in his room all the way. Then he closed the door and stood next to me. “Can I get you something to drink or…?”
“Thanks, but there’s only one thing I want.” Wow. I said that?
And thank heavens he didn’t need any more encouragement. He placed his hands on my cheeks and pulled me into a kiss.
Okay…so Jet’s kiss was unlike any other I’d ever experienced before. It was hot and slow and breathtaking. And his snake bites…Jesus. The metal touching my skin was cooler than his hot lips and the contrast was sensuous. It brought me back to the first time I’d been with Ethan, how my mind couldn’t keep up with all the sensations. These different feelings were arousing me quickly.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and splayed my hands on his lower back. Shit. He was literally hot, and he was hard as a rock. His muscles were tight and firm, and he felt absolutely incredible. But his kisses…smoking. He was slow and deliberate. If he was in a hurry or hornier than hell, I couldn’t tell. It was like he had all fucking night, and he was going to enjoy every second.
Lucky me.
And then he moved his lips to my neck, and it was sensual all over again. The cool metal along with his warm lips made me feel insane. My panties were already wet, my muscles taut. This had been the best decision I’d made during this entire trip. A rush of air pushed through my throat out my mouth and to my ears it sounded not like a gasp, but a cry, like I was hungry, desperate. And I guess I was. But as he moved his hands down, he didn’t touch a thing…not yet. I felt as though I were his last meal, and he planned to savor me. Every last square inch. I can’t tell you what that did to me. It was like the entire experience was brand new.
And, really, it was. I’d only ever been with Ethan, so I had only one person to compare Clay…er…Jet to. And while I wasn’t thinking it at the time, I didn’t think the comparison would be fair. Clay had had lots more time to perfect his techniques.
But he was sober too. I was sure that also had a lot to do with it.
In the moment, though, I was trying to push Ethan out of my mind. This was not about Ethan. It was about me. It was about who I was and what I needed. What was it that Clay had said? That I had passions and desires? Yeah, I did, and I was just beginning to understand my deep needs, the ones that I’d denied myself for so long. Ethan (and Brad before that) had just started to awaken them. That was not the time to just leave me alone.
But I’d come to realize that Ethan was going to do what Ethan wanted to do, no matter what I had to say about it, and that was why I’d decided earlier that night that we were done. My heart couldn’t take Ethan anymore—his hot-and-cold nature, his callousness except when it suited him, his fucked up priorities. I couldn’t do it.
Should I have felt guilty about being with Jet before my break up was official? I didn’t think so, particularly because—somewhere deep in my gut—I knew Ethan was doing the same thing…or worse. Probably much worse.
Jet’s lips returned to mine, and I decided to take advantage of his lack of shirt. His body was beautiful, and I wanted to touch it. I felt just a little hair above his waistband…and a six pack. That was nice. The guys in my band were in shape, but they hadn’t worked on making themselves hardcore ripped. Jet had. But I couldn’t even pay attention to touching his skin because he was making me breathless. The way he kissed me made me feel like I was a well that he had to draw from, only every time he had to drink from it, I’d be knocked down from the sheer intensity alone.
My God. He was the best kisser ever.
I think he knew what he was doing to me too, which was why he was in no hurry. Either that or maybe he wanted to make sure I knew he was what I wanted. Whatever the case, after just being kissed like that, there’s no way I would have said no to him.
Somehow my fingers managed to continue their journey without my consciousness being fully involved. I found his pecs and his piercings and my fingers felt it all. And that’s when I felt his fingers on the bottom of my shirt. Was I ready?
Well, apparently my body was, because I not only raised my arms, I also felt behind my back, looking for the clasp on my bra. I saw his eyes. Jesus. He was intense. Yeah…this guy here. He wasn’t Clay. Clay was long gone, replaced by a sex machine, and he was all mine for the night. I saw a flash of a wicked smile pass over his face as he dropped my shirt to the floor and his hands joined mine to assist, but his mouth moved down to the flesh of my breasts not covered by the bra. And working my hands behind my back made me push out my breasts that much farther.
I got the stupid clasps undone and he took it from there, pulling it off in a quick motion. And then he touched my right breast, cupping it in his hands as though it were a precious gem, lapping at it until my breathing changed yet again. My toes curled inside my shoes and I shoved my fingers into his hair. I wanted him now, but I knew he was bound and determined to take his time.
I moaned again and he kissed down the side of my breast to my cleavage where he licked in swirls. God, that felt just as good or better. My fingers tightened their grip. I didn’t want to wait. I felt his fingers touch the top of my pants as he brought his lips back to mine and he said, “Now I know what the big deal was about.”
I didn’t know what he meant at first as his tongue found its way back in my mouth, but then I remembered he was talking about the incident he’d mentioned earlier, the one where lots of guys from bands (and their girlfriends) had seen me topless at my apartment. My breasts were a big deal?
If I hadn’t been so aroused, I might have laughed. But his mouth on mine was serious business, and I couldn’t help but respond. After he had my pants unzipped, he eased his fingers inside, and I could feel his warm hand on top of my panties.
Oh. I’d thought I was aroused before, but he sent me over the top. A year ago, I hadn’t even experienced sex, let alone an orgasm, but I was already becoming so tuned in with my body that I knew where to gauge myself in the process. Just thinking about it could get me feeling warm and kissing could get me closer. Foreplay wasn’t always necessary with me, and in this case it got me so close before he even had to try to get me off.
I let out another heavy sigh and he had to know what he was doing to me. My hands were on his back now, appreciating the musculature there. I felt his breath in my ear. “Last chance, Val. You want Clay or you want Jet?”
I smiled in spite of my feelings of desperation, and I could hear it in my voice. “Why? What’s the difference?”
“Clay would bother to take you to that bed over there, make sure you were comfortable, relaxed, ready, kiss you longer.” He kissed my neck again and I gritted my teeth.
I already knew the answer, but I nipped at his neck. Oh, God, did he taste good all over. I licked the bottom of his earlobe. “And Jet?”
He shoved his fingers inside my panties and found me, throbbing and desperate. “He takes you right here, right now.”
“I think you know what I want.”
Oh, fuck. I don’t know to this day if I actually said it out loud or just thought it, but I came right that second with just his fingers barely starting to swirl that little nub. My back was up against the wall and somehow I’d wrapped my leg around his, so he had no problem squeezing in there. And what the fuck was he doing? Jesus Christ. The words streaming out of my mouth…they were unholy, desperate,
pleading, and nasty. Nasty as hell.
I thought I really liked Jet.
A lot.
As I struggled to catch my breath up against the wall, he said in my ear, “You good, baby?”
My voice was throaty. “If by good you mean I’ve died and gone to heaven, then yeah. I’m better than ever.”
I felt his breath against my neck as he chuckled but he took a few seconds before removing his hand from my panties. He reached into his wallet, and I knew it was time for round two. I’d just had an incredible orgasm and yet I was primed and ready. I knew my body well enough already to know that I had a few waves left. So I shimmied my pants down my hips to my knees while he pulled down…
Oh, my fucking God. His cock was
huge.
I swallowed. Yeah, okay, so I was only comparing him to Ethan but shit.
And I couldn’t help myself. Fuck the pants.
“Well, hello there.” I grabbed him, my hands wanting to explore his unfamiliar girth. I stroked him up and down and touched the tip with my finger. He was already oozing, and I swirled the liquid into the head with my thumb, rubbing him as I imagined he had me. I could tell he liked it by the twinkle in his eyes. His jaw was tense as he held that condom at the ready, patiently waiting for me to finish playing.
Like it was an effort. His only effort was not losing his load too soon.
His lips slammed into mine, and he assaulted me with another deep kiss, taking my breath away once more. I think it was a distraction technique. It worked. He started pulling the condom on, and I once again focused on getting those damned tight pants down. Then I realized I wouldn’t be able to wrap around him like I wanted unless I got them off all the way, so I fumbled around, pulling the right leg down. I had to take the shoe off, and by the time I had the pant leg off, he was ready to go.
Who was I to argue?
He kissed me again, and his tongue invaded my mouth just as his cock found the warm, throbbing confines of my pussy. “Ohhhhh…” Yeah. Just as I’d suspected. Here came the next wave of my orgasm, and my God, did he fill me up. “Oh, fuck. Oh, God. Oh, Clay…” I didn’t call him Jet, and I don’t think he gave a shit at that point because he was near the end of his rope too. My fingers were digging into his back as though he were my only lifeline, and I couldn’t stop it. He slammed into me with the force of a dozen horses, and his eyes…they were wild. I clenched my legs around him when I realized he was holding me up against the wall.
Dirty Boys: Bad Boy Rock Star Romance Box Set Page 34
