Singing in the Dark

by Ginny Owens

  True Rest in Chaos

  Christianity is the only faith that insists there is a Rest-Giver who holds us in the midst of chaos. No other major religion has such a notion. In our secular culture, where we say the key to having hope and peace lies within us, we are especially full of fear these days. How can we possibly comfort ourselves when our world has been turned upside down and we clearly have no control?

  Popular voices in our current cultural space have their own recommendations: detach and toughen up (Stoicism), embrace suffering with grace (Buddhism), or accept that suffering has come because of the sins of our past lives (karma).

  One of my favorite life-hack podcasters recently interviewed a Buddhist monk and multiple proponents of Stoic philosophy, concluding that we can cultivate inner rest and the power to accept our circumstances.1 But if Christianity is true, we can accept our circumstances not with resignation but with hope, knowing we have Someone to go to with our wailing and our worry. Someone who, whether He gives us immediate answers or not, will give us lasting hope in the midst of our darkness.

  The Lord Jesus uniquely said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28). Christianity is the only faith in which God provides for, protects, and guides His children—and carries their troubles in every season. And just as important, He gives purpose to the chaos in which we find ourselves.

  Billy Graham once said, “Mountaintops are for views and inspiration, but fruit is grown in the valleys.”2 I agree. It would be impossible to fully appreciate the joy of light if we didn’t know what darkness felt like. We wouldn’t be able to bask in its radiance if we hadn’t first lived without it. But if there were no Shepherd leading us, what purpose would darkness have? What could we emerge with on the other side, other than grit or bitterness?

  The psalmists, including David, experienced their fair share of suffering. So when they sang of God’s peace and rest, it was in the context of a world where they faced danger, plague, famine, and fatality. But they reached for God in their chaos again and again, leaning on Him for comfort and protection.

  As a shepherd who battled lions and bears, who fought for his life many times, David knew what it was to be overwhelmed with fear. But he had also come to know deep rest, and he sang of it in this psalm and many others.

  Before we dive in to see what David can teach us about knowing God as our shepherd and friend, a quick word. David and other psalmists and prophets, not to mention Job, took before the Lord their laments and complaints about what befell them. Our Shepherd can handle our anger, sorrow, and questions about deep suffering. We will return to a song of lament in a later chapter, but for now, let’s discover how David experienced true rest in the care of the Lord, his Shepherd.

  Contentment, Rest, and Freedom

  In the first section of Psalm 23, we hear only of the actions the Shepherd takes for His sheep. David’s contented response was to want for nothing (v. 1). The Shepherd made him lie down in peaceful places, led him by quiet waters, and restored him (vv. 2–3). The Shepherd has provided everything we need: rest, quiet, and protection, renewing our minds and our souls with Himself and His truth. Derek Kidner helpfully said, “The shepherd lives with his flock and is everything to it: guide, physician and protector.”3

  To rest in the care of our Shepherd is an active pursuit. Just as we would seek the wisdom of the people who love and protect us, we listen actively to what God has to say. We tune our hearts to His promises. We fill our minds with His words of comfort and peace. We remember all the ways He has been faithful to us in the past. We cry out to Him with our concerns and ask for His help. As we do, our hearts naturally open to receive His rest.

  The Lord our Shepherd always leads His sheep in the right path because it brings glory to His name. As David said in Psalm 119:32, “I run in the path of your commandments, for you have set my heart free” (NHEB). Our Shepherd never says, “Go figure out the right road—the one that will lead you to the best place for you, little sheep.” Instead, He says, “I, your loving shepherd, delight in nothing more than leading you down the right and best road—the path of life” (see Isa. 24:17). As we walk down this path, we find a better kind of freedom than we could ever find on our own.

  For most of us, the idea of “God’s right path” leads us to think of living pious, disciplined lives—the connotation being legalism. Some of us rail against the idea that we should behave in a certain way to please God. Others see it as a bargaining tool—if we follow Him to the best of our ability, God will give us what we want, including His peace. But following God’s right path is so much better than mere obedience or getting what we want. It is designed with our best in mind, leading us to the life, hope, and peace He wants to give us.

  Instruments like pianos and guitars must be tuned to some standard outside the instrument (like a tuning fork or an app). Otherwise, they could not play together and be in tune. In the same way, true freedom comes for us as our actions are tuned to God’s perfect pitch.

  God wants us to follow His path so that we may love Him more, love one another better, and also love ourselves healthily—so we grow in wisdom, strength, and even joy on our way to being together with Him forever. When we follow our own path, we can see only what we’re doing in the moment—not how what we’re doing affects others or even ourselves long-term. Because we don’t know the lasting impact of our choices, the best idea is to trust the One who does, following His road to inner freedom and unending peace.

  How to Fight Fear

  The psalmist went on to sing about when God’s right path for him leads through the valley of the shadow of death (Ps. 23:4). This valley is a steep-sided Middle Eastern ravine, where the walls are high enough that the sheep can’t see the sun. They would be afraid as they walked through it.

  But even when the “right path” for the Lord’s sheep leads through the dark valley, we need not be afraid. Why? Because the Shepherd—who has met all our needs, has given us His protection so we can rest, and clearly sees the right path ahead—is going every step of the way with us, even through the deepest shadow. His rod and staff, the tools that protect and guide His sheep on the right path, also give us comfort along the way (v. 4).

  Interestingly, it’s a question not of if but of when this would be David’s path. David could have been talking about actual death here, but he was more likely talking about a season that feels dark and scary—like death. Either way, he knew that this shadowed path was inevitable. But he would not fear harm, because the Shepherd was with him.

  This brings to mind the prophet Isaiah’s words from God to His beloved people—a people who had gone so far off the right path that now He had to lead them through the darkest valley. He would protect them, but they still had to go through it.

  I will be with you when you pass through the waters,

  and when you pass through the rivers,

  they will not overwhelm you.

  You will not be scorched

  when you walk through the fire,

  and the flame will not burn you.

  For I [am] Yahweh your God,

  the Holy One of Israel, and your Savior.

  (Isa. 43:2–3 HCSB)

  What is interesting here is what the Lord, the Shepherd-King, did not say. He did not say, “Do not fear, for I will fix it.” He said, “Do not fear, for I am your God.” In other words, “No matter the circumstance, I am all you need.” In Psalm 23, David declared his trust: he would not be afraid in the difficult valley, because the One who holds all things was holding him.

  Thinking on these words reminds me of a long, scary season I went through several years ago. It began while on tour at Christmas, when I started to lose my ability to sing higher notes. After listening to me work through a host of exercises, a vocal specialist told me I might never be able to fully recover my voice. Despite her prognosis, I started doing vocal therapies with a coach in hopes that things would change.

  Bit by bit, I mad
e progress, but singing was difficult for the next year. As I continued to do concerts, I realized that not only were my vocal cords hurting but my abdomen was too. Several visits to the doctor and multiple scans later, I was headed into emergency surgery to remove a tumor, with the possibility of cancer. I wouldn’t know the results until I woke up.

  I can still feel the knot in the pit of my stomach when I think about that time. But there were several ways God spoke to me of His love in the middle of it all. My longtime friends from college—Sylvia, Charlynn, and Dea—not only called often to check in and chat but also happily agreed to celebrate my birthday at a non-exciting, health-food restaurant, as eating well made me feel somehow better about the whole thing. My friend Cindy called often to listen to and pray with me.

  Talking to God and being with friends who reflected Him so beautifully reminded me that He is faithful and good and that He would be with me regardless of what I found out. Meditating on these truths calmed my anxious heart. I knew He might not deliver me from the threat of cancer or from my messed-up vocal cords. And even though I wasn’t eager to face either of those challenges long-term, I had experienced enough of His care and His rest to know He would guide me through.

  Thankfully my voice is now stronger than ever, the surgery was a success, and I didn’t have cancer. Yet I will never forget that season and how I experienced firsthand that I am not in charge of my destiny. I will never forget how God helped me see that He is holding me close in every moment—even the most excruciating ones.

  Our Shepherd, King, and Friend

  After singing about the valley of the shadow of death, David sang of his Shepherd as a generous, hospitable king—but a king who knew him intimately.

  In the ancient Near East, shepherd was a common metaphor for a king. So in Psalm 23:1–4 and 6, David was meditating on the Lord as a shepherd—protecting him and caring for all his needs—and in verse 5, he reflected on Him as a king who intimately knew him and cared for him as a friend. The Lord was the preparer of a feast that David would enjoy in the presence of his enemies. This king and friend tended to David’s needs, rejuvenating him by cleansing his head with oil. As a result, David’s heart was full (v. 5).

  This image conjures a vivid picture in my mind. Though I don’t have literal enemies that I’m aware of, I’m reminded of the times in school when I felt surrounded by bullies. Or the times in my adult life when I have been surrounded by people whose misconceptions about me felt insurmountable. In challenging times, David said, we are not alone. The Lord is tending to our needs. Caring for us. Longing to sit and talk with us, no matter what enemy surrounds us. Even if it’s a pandemic. Or cancer. Or unkind people. Or anxiety and fear. He “has a celebration meal with us not after we finally get out of the dark valley but in the middle of it, in the presence of our enemies. He wants us to rejoice in him in the midst of our troubles.”4

  This verse is not merely the stuff of kitschy artwork. Picture the scene: The Lord has an intimate feast with you, but it’s not in an idyllic atmosphere. He talks to you of His love and His promises and tenderly refreshes you as you feel attacked from all sides.

  How do we find peace in this place?

  We pursue God, knowing that He is always pursuing us.

  We will be incapable of finding joy and strength in our suffering unless we make a constant practice of crying out to God. If He is our shepherd-protector, royal provider, and close friend, why would we not tell Him all that weighs on us and ask for what we need? It is through dialoguing with God in prayer and listening to His words in Scripture that we are able to be confident that His love surrounds us, even in the moments when we can’t feel it.

  The more we do this, the more quickly our hearts will settle into a place of peace. And the more easily we will be able to sing joyfully with the psalmist, “LORD, you are my portion and my cup of blessing; you hold my future” (Ps. 16:5).

  Surrounded

  Now we get to the section of the Twenty-Third Psalm that has more recently made my heart explode with awe and delight every time I think about it. The Lord the shepherd is leading. But His goodness and love are following, pursuing us in every moment (v. 6). As one commentator has said, “Goodness and love act like the shepherd’s sheepdogs, helping the shepherd to keep the sheep going in the right direction.”5

  I love dogs. In college I had a yellow Labrador guide dog named Lindy. More recently I’ve had Bailey and Lewie, both mini Australian shepherds. Bailey was twelve pounds, Lewie is thirty, and Lindy the Lab was ninety. But all of them have seen it as their job to follow me everywhere, supervise my every move, and make sure I head in the right direction. And even when I’ve insisted otherwise, they’ve herded me wherever they thought I should be going—to bed or to the kitchen for their treats or in the direction of the tree where the squirrels live. They also have protected me fiercely from every passing creature, whether friend or foe.

  How much more beautiful, wonderful, and powerful are God’s goodness and loving-kindness in pursuit of us! The Lord makes sure we are surrounded by them.

  The Bigger Story

  The Shepherd provides for us, so we lack nothing. He guides us into rest. With His rod and staff, He takes us on the right paths, leading us to life. In our deep darkness, He is with us. When the world seems like it can’t get any worse, He takes the time to prepare a feast for us, talk intimately with us, rinse off our grime, and cool our heads. And His goodness and mercy are always at our heels.

  In the climactic ending of the song, David celebrated the fact that he would dwell in the Lord’s house for all his days! Where else would he want to be other than living and luxuriating in the presence of his shepherd, friend, and king? Where would we want to be other than in His presence, now and forever?

  Today we have an even greater hope than David had. God sent Jesus to us as the shepherd in the flesh. He comes running when one of us is missing (Luke 15:4–7). He is the Shepherd who knows our names and whose voice we hear and know (John 10:3–4). The Shepherd who went through the darkest valley of death, laying down His life for His sheep, so we could live with Him forever (v. 11). We don’t go to His temple, but we find Him in the temple of our hearts until the day we are united face to face. Until then, He guides us on the path to Himself, teaching us to love Him and sacrifice for one another, just as He has done for us (1 John 3:16).

  Your Song of Rest

  The key to finding rest—to believing that our Shepherd is enough for us in every season—is to sing that truth to ourselves over and over again. As we do, we are able to receive the trust and rest given us more easily.

  Today, write your song of rest. Perhaps it is a song in which you thank your shepherd, king, and friend for all the ways He has cared for you this week. Maybe you want to sing of all His great attributes—His goodness, His power, His ability to see everything … all the reasons for why you know you can trust Him. Or perhaps your song today is a prayer asking that you would sense His shepherd’s love and care for you.

  Here are some words from one of my favorite hymns to inspire your thinking:

  Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side.

  Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.

  Leave to your God to order and provide;

  In every change, He faithful will remain.

  Be still, my soul: your best, your heav’nly Friend

  Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.6

  God’s Song of Rest

  Today let’s memorize all of Psalm 23. To help you, feel free to choose a translation you’re familiar with. Here is one I like:

  The LORD is my shepherd; I have what I need. He lets me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; he leads me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and your staff—they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Only goodness a
nd faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD as long as I live. (CSB)

  Be gracious to me, God, according to your faithful love; according to your abundant compassion, blot out my rebellion.

  Completely wash away my guilt and cleanse me from my sin.

  For I am conscious of my rebellion, and my sin is always before me.

  Against you—you alone—I have sinned and done this evil in your sight. So you are right when you pass sentence; you are blameless when you judge.…

  Surely you desire integrity in the inner self, and you teach me wisdom deep within.…

  Turn your face away from my sins and blot out all my guilt.

  God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

  Do not banish me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.

  Restore the joy of your salvation to me, and sustain me by giving me a willing spirit.

  Then I will teach the rebellious your ways, and sinners will return to you.…

  Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.…

  The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. You will not despise a broken and humbled heart, God.

  Psalm 51:1–4, 6, 9–13, 15, 17

  Chapter 6

  A Lament for the Misoriented Life

  The Inside Truth

  Being raised a good southern girl has its upsides. My DNA dictates pervasive politeness and a genuine interest in what others are up to. I can chat about the superficial—how the weather is today, how it was yesterday, which are the best restaurants in the area—for an impressive amount of time. And though my personal style is to be understated, I do not go out unless I am put together. Being finished on the outside is the key to my inner confidence. Goal number one is presenting well so others can see that I am independent and competent.