by Quil Carter
Kheva left them shortly after, and once Kel had shown him what to do, Sasha settled into grunt work. He had a hoe in his hand and was chopping at the dirt to make it loose for the plants. It wasn’t an easy job, and soon Sasha was baking under the clear blue sky, sweat dripping down his face.
But it wasn’t the sun beating down on them that was bothering him, or the fact that he’d never had to do so much manual labour in his life. What was bugging him, was that during his labour-intensive workout, Kel had grabbed a patio chair from the deck and had sat down by the raised beds. He was now watching Sasha work, his leg crossed over the other one, and his hands folded behind his head.
So, I’m just working then? The words rolled around Sasha’s mouth, but instead of speaking his mind he let himself seethe in silence. It was frustrating, and every time he glanced over at the raised beds to see Kel watching him, the frustration and annoyance grew.
Two hours into working, Sasha wiped the slick of sweat from his head (not realizing he was also smearing it with dirt) and turned to Kel. His body was overheating and he was beginning to feel lightheaded, at the very least he’d earned himself a break. “Can I have a rest?” he asked, squinting his eyes as the corners of them began to sparkle. “Get a drink too? I’m spent.”
Kel was slow to reply, for the past half an hour his eyes had been closed and his body unmoving. It seemed that the nightcrawler had decided on an afternoon nap. Perhaps staying up to watch Sasha through the window, like the creeper he was, had tired him out.
But finally, one eye opened and found Sasha.
And that eye narrowed.
“I didn’t tell you you could stop.”
Sasha’s body slumped. He leaned his weight against the hoe and tried to take some weight off of his aching feet. “Please?” he said. “Kel… my… I’m starting to feel like crap. I’m not used to the sun… I went out like once a week back home.”
Both of Kel’s eyes opened, and Sasha was confused to see anger in them. “YOU ARE HOME!” he suddenly yelled. He jumped to his feet and stalked towards Sasha, and in response Sasha started backing away. “You––are––home!”
What the fuck was wrong with this guy? “Okay, yeah,” Sasha stammered. “I’m–”
Kel raised his hand and smacked Sasha across the face. The blow usually wouldn’t be enough to make Sasha fall, but the fatigue from working so hard and the dehydration made Sasha stumble and fall to the freshly tilled dirt.
Sasha looked up at him in shock, and saw Kel loom over him, his crystal blue eyes gleaming with unstable anger. His fists were clenched and his body rigid, there was… an unusual amount of passion to this man. Sasha didn’t understand it.
Then Kel turned and stalked away towards the house. Sasha watched him go, feeling helpless and confused, and while his supervisor was off doing who knows what, he continued to lean against the gardening tool to rest his feet––and shoot glances at the sparkling lake he could see just fifty-feet away.
The lake… Sasha hadn’t even gotten a chance to get a good look at it. It wasn’t that big, about a quarter mile in all directions, but it was water and it looked refreshingly cold.
Sasha played with the idea of running full speed towards it and jumping in, but not only was the idea of running laughable, but he really did want to sleep inside tonight.
As soon as Sasha saw Kel walk along the house and towards the garden area he was in, he went back to work. And when Sasha caught a glance of what Kel was wearing, he sighed and shook his head.
Kel was now wearing sunglasses, a Hawaiian button-down, green and blue with red flowers, a pair of tan cargo shorts, and to top it all off, a goofy straw hat. He also hadn’t returned empty-handed, Kel was holding a large fish bowl, one that looked to be filled with juice and berries.
He’s doing this to be an asshole, Sasha thought bitterly. He stabbed the un-tilled ground with the hoe and ignored Kel as the man sat down on the patio chair.
Jesus, he even has a pink curly straw. Sasha shook his head and kept up his pace, the headache from the sun heightening in intensity with every passing minute. It wasn’t a nightcrawler-quality migraine at least, but it still fucking hurt.
This wasn’t fair. What the hell was this? Why do I have to work and he gets to sit on his ass and watch me? Sasha had a feeling that four years ago, it had been Kheva watching Kel as he worked. Probably not dressed up in the same get-up, but most likely with a nice cold drink and a comfortable chair. Kel was only doing this to get some sort of redemption for the past injustices.
At least when we find another one, I can be the asshole on the chair. And even if it was a rather mean thing to think, it did make Sasha feel better to imagine that.
During the next hour, Sasha fought dizziness and the increasingly painful headache. He had to stop several times to keep himself from falling over, and now it was getting to the point that he wasn’t sure how he was remaining standing. His body just wasn’t used to all of this. It was used to being indoors all day, staring at televisions or books… not in the sun. However, there was some thanks to be had that it was the spring sun, and not the summer sun.
Sasha looked down at his hands and frowned when he saw blisters forming, his hands were red and angry and his fingers were permanently clenched in the shape of the hoe’s handle.
“Sashy, come here,” Kel suddenly called. Sasha looked up and saw Kel coming towards him with a large glass of water. Sasha hadn’t even seen him get up and leave.
Sasha leaned the garden tool against the fence and took a step towards him, his knees buckled but he managed to remain standing. He walked to Kel and was greeted by the insane man’s sunny smile.
“Drink,” Kel said. He held up the glass water. Sasha made the motion to take it, but the way that Kel was holding it up to his mouth, told him he was going to pull a Kheva. The water was more important than his pride though, so Sasha leaned down and began drinking from the glass.
And he didn’t stop, Kel tipped the glass up and Sasha kept drinking, even when water started running down his neck and shirt. It was too much of a relief to finally have some fluids in him, and he didn’t stop until the glass was empty.
Sasha gasped and wiped his forehead. “Thank you,” he said.
Kel reached up and touched Sasha’s cheek. He frowned. “You’re so hot,” he said. “Come inside. The rest of today’s work won’t be dirty. Come inside and shower, and get dressed, and we’ll make lunch.” Kel took Sasha’s hand and led him towards the house.
Sasha went with him without complaint. A shower and sitting down with food seemed like heaven in that moment. Things that he’d taken for granted several days ago were now desired and appreciated.
Like wanting to sleep indoors tonight. Sasha had no desire to repeat the night previous. It had been scary as hell out there and his sleep had been constantly disturbed by his heightened instincts.
So, he had to be on his best behaviour. As if being hit in the face twice already today wasn’t enough of a reason.
They both walked inside of the house and Sasha made his way towards the bathroom. Kheva’s office door, which was on the opposite side of the hallway, was shut.
Sasha walked into the bathroom, a large walk-in shower with a sliding glass door in front of him. He stepped back, assuming Kel was going to show him how the shower worked, but to his shock… Kel sat up on the granite bathroom counter and closed the door.
“Get changed,” Kel said. “That’s an order.” There was a flicker of hunger in Kel’s eyes that threw anxiety into the churning mixture of Sasha’s emotions. Didn’t that mixture have enough ingredients already?
And it was an… order? Sasha stood there awkwardly. How was he supposed to respond to that? He… he didn’t want to fucking take off his clothes with Kel there.
Maybe it’s not really a big deal? Sasha weighed this, his eyes staring at his bare feet the entire time. Kel had already seen him naked from the waist down, and it wasn’t like… he was going to try anything with him.
>
Right?
At least… Kheva was nearby. Worst comes to worse, he’d scream and Kheva would come and beat the crap out of Kel––Sasha hoped.
Kel’s eyes narrowed impatiently, but when he made the motion to speak, most likely to rip Sasha a new one, Sasha nodded and took off his shirt.
It was… fucking embarrassing. Boy, was it ever. Besides that moonlit night, the only person who’d ever seen him naked besides his own guardian, was Jobe, and that was only when Sasha was really sick, or really drunk and had thrown up on himself. Sasha didn’t fucking know these two… and they’d already shown they were dangerous.
And I’m miles away from my apartment… what the fuck have I gotten myself into?
Maybe I should… just go home and face the music. They can put me in that hold and I’ll be released.
Sasha put his dirty shirt on top of the toilet’s lid and took off his belt, then the button on his jeans. As he slid his pants to his ankles, his face feeling like he was staring down the vent of a volcano, he almost laughed.
No, once I’m in the nut house, they’ll never let me out… because I won’t deny that these two exist. I won’t deny who I am. I might have absolutely nothing right now, but at least I know I’m not crazy and that means everything to me.
I’m not only sane––I’m a damn nightcrawler.
So, I’m stuck here… stuck here desperately trying to be accepted by two insane sociopaths.
Please, Kel, just… don’t try anything with me.
Sasha stepped out of his jeans and glanced up at Kel
Kel was watching him intently, his eyes fixed and focused on Sasha’s body. There was no mistaking the lurid look that Kel was giving him, he wanted to see what was hidden behind Sasha’s briefs.
Sasha closed his eyes tight, wishing he was dead in that moment, and slid his underwear down. The cold air stung his groin area, but the heat of Kel’s gaze made up for it.
“I’ve never seen you naked during the day,” Kel said. His voice was low and every drop of lust that fell from those tones burned Sasha’s skin. “Come here, Sasha.”
Sasha’s face blazed, the tips of his ears so hot he wouldn’t be surprised if smoke was coming off of them. He slowly shook his head, his eyes on the ground, and took a step back.
Then, he got his bravery, or what turning around and facing the shower translated to. The silver faucet was similar to the one in Sasha’s apartment, so he had no trouble starting it.
But just when he was about to jump in, there was a shuffle behind him, followed by an unsettling and eerie feeling. Sasha looked over his shoulder and recoiled when he saw Kel’s face only inches away.
“Beautiful,” Kel whispered.
Sasha’s lips pursed, but if he thought that Kel would stop at a simple murmured compliment, he was mistaken. Sasha stifled a nervous whimper when he felt Kel’s hand touch his backside, and when the crazed man began rubbing the cheeks slowly, Sasha’s hand tightened around the handle to the shower door.
“And soft,” Kel murmured. He kissed Sasha’s shoulder blade, and inhaled deeply, then traced a finger up Sasha’s crack. “Wash up, Sashy. Or I’ll do it for you.”
Then Kel stepped away from him. The door shut soon after, leaving Sasha naked in front of the shower, the glass quietly rattling from Sasha’s trembling hand.
Unable to hold it back, a stifled sob broke Sasha’s lips. He held his hand up to his mouth to muffle it as much as he could, but when his breathing began to shorten, he opted instead to turn on the water. That would drown out the noise…
… and maybe the water would help the putrid feeling in his gut, the sensation that he was rotting from the inside out.
Sasha got into the shower, a large shower with grey and black tile, big enough to fit two people. There was even a bench that went along the far wall, and recessed alcoves that held their various soaps and scrubbies.
The hot water made Sasha feel faint. He sat down on the bench and let the water spray over him. It was nice to be alone, if only for a moment, but the quickened speed of his heart told him that even though he was alone, he wasn’t going to be allowed to relax.
Probably never again.
Sasha buried his face into his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. He shut his eyes and groaned, the rotten feeling inside of him spreading like a quick-moving cancer. The longer he was here, the more confused and full of doubt he got. This wasn’t what he expected, but what could he do about it?
I can’t go home.
Eventually Sasha got up and finished the shower. He scrubbed himself clean, taking special care to clean the stitches on his arm, and washed his hair. To distract himself from his ever-crumbling life, he tried to enjoy the novelty of being in such a big shower, and a clean one too. His bathroom at home left a lot to be desired, and his bathtub wasn’t only old, but by the time he was finished washing, he was wading around in ankle-deep cloudy water.
Sasha turned off the water, then he opened up the foggy glass shower door and stepped out. The fan was humming, sucking up the warm mist, and the track lighting above the mirror was making the light bulbs look like four hazy suns on the surface of some distant planet.
Now a towel… Sasha opened up the cabinet underneath the sink and frowned when he saw nothing but a basket full of hair products and other bathroom things. He closed the door and turned around to where he’d seen a towel rack, and saw that both the hand towel, and a black decorative bathroom towel, were gone.
Then Sasha’s heart fell, before rising up to center itself behind his Adam’s apple. This was another one of their fucking games, wasn’t it? They wanted him to have to walk into the living room naked.
Great, fucking great. Sasha opened the door and peeked out, wrapping his arms around his chest when a rush of chilly air hit him. It was a veritable sauna in the bathroom and the outside air was unwelcome and stinging his skin.
“Hey…” Sasha bit his pride. “Master Kheva? Master… Kel… may I have a towel?” There was no one in the portion of the living room that he could see, but the hallway only allowed him to see half of the couch and the coffee table it was behind.
Sasha jumped when the door to Kheva’s office opened and the man himself stepped out. Kheva stared him down, his firm jaw raised and his green-gold eyes glaring as they analyzed Sasha where he stood.
“You should know,” Kheva stated simply. He looked down and the corner of his mouth twitched. Sasha flooded with embarrassment and tried to hide his naked body behind the door. “The information is right in front of Keluva’s head. He has nothing covering it, it is not hidden.”
Sasha looked at him helplessly. “Master Kheva, I have no idea… I wouldn’t even know where to start. I don’t… besides that voice in my head and horrible migraines, I’ve always just felt normal. I’ve never… done that head stuff.”
Kheva’s eyes remained fixed on Sasha. “Step away from that door,” he said, and he himself stepped back. “You’re my student now, Sasha. There will be no shame in exposing yourself to me. You will hold no secrets, not of your mind, or your flesh. You are not permitted.”
“Your… student?” Sasha said. He didn’t know how to feel about this. In a way, the moment Kheva had picked him up after fleeing from his apartment, Sasha felt like he was going to be his teacher. But to have the Master Nightcrawler say it out loud, and from his own lips, made it feel more real.
And now that Sasha had experienced the darker sides of both Kheva and Kel, apprehension and fear planted themselves in the overgrown garden of emotions he’d been lost in for years. A garden that harboured insects and vermin, and cultivated nothing but depression, hopelessness, and most recently, suicidal thoughts.
He’d held a hope that this place would make him not want to give up, that it would offer an oasis from this horrible, depressive life he’d been living… but in the end, he’d only exchanged one package of bad feelings for the other.
Kheva said nothing back. He stood in front of his office and stared at S
asha, and as the seconds went by, his gaze became harder. He wasn’t going to say a thing until Sasha did what he’d commanded him to do, this was becoming all the more obvious with every passing moment.
With humiliation, a feeling that was becoming heartbreakingly familiar, Sasha opened the bathroom door and stepped out, naked and dripping wet.
Kheva’s eyes travelled up and down Sasha’s body twice, then he closed the foot of space that had been between them.
“You cannot enter Kel’s mind because you’re not connected with him, or me,” Kheva said. Sasha flinched when Kheva’s hand rose. He tried to force his body to remain still when the man placed that hand on Sasha’s left hip bone. “You don’t know us. You’re an outsider, a stranger in our home that is as out of place as the first man to walk on the moon.” The hand stroked Sasha’s hip, then travelled up the curve of his torso, before settling on Sasha’s chest, or more specifically, his heart.
“It’s… hard to fit in when… I sleep outside and… get hit for not knowing the rules,” Sasha whispered. He dropped his gaze and stared at his feet, but when he saw his own penis, surrounded by overgrown black pubic hair, he deflected his gaze to the door of Kheva’s office. “I don’t feel like I fit in because you guys are treating me like you hate me.”
“Hate you?” Kheva didn’t hide the amusement in his tones. “Oh, nightcrawler… I don’t hate what belongs to me.” Kheva leaned into him, and when he kissed the corner of Sasha’s mouth, Sasha didn’t recoil or back away. He was getting used to Kheva’s strange manner. “The mind of a nightcrawler cannot grow with just love and attention. It takes so much more, Sasha…” Kheva kissed underneath Sasha’s chin, his breath cooling the water on Sasha’s face. “You have no idea what you’re in for. No idea what I will force you to endure. But I promise you…” He wrapped an arm around Sasha’s back and drew him close, then Kheva leaned his forehead against his. “…by the end of it, you will be a god.”
